Relationships With Capricorn Men

Capricorn man a guide to understand your man

Relationships with Capricorn Men: Are you dating or have dated a Capricorn man? If you’re wondering why he’s pulled away, disappeared or distanced himself from you then read on to find out the strange ways of the Capricorn male.

I’m not a male but a female Capricorn. I hope that through this page, you’ll get a little perspective on your guy and it helps you to understand him better.

The Capricorn Man- A Guide to Understand Your Capricorn

Capricorn Men Need Space

You might be wondering, “Why is he ignoring me?” In general, the Capricorn man does not want or need to be smothered. This guy needs his alone time, he needs time to himself and time to recharge his batteries and wants to ponder and process.

So if he has pulled away or distanced himself then you should do the same. Mirror him and his actions, this is not the time to start calling him like crazy and asking him why he’s ignoring you and asking him what his deal is.

Let him be. Be cool, confident and go about your life, work on your own goals and keep as busy as possible and go out with your friends and have some fun. It’s important to keep a level head with this guy.

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Relationships With Capricorn Men Poll: Are You Chasing Your Capricorn Man?

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a-good rule of thumb for dating your capricorn man

A Good Rule of Thumb for Dating a Capricorn Man

Let this man lead you. He’s not one that you should chase after. If you DO find yourself chasing him then you need to take a step back from the situation. It is bad to start chasing a man, especially a Capricorn man. Capricorn men are the mountain goats and can scale great heights of the mountain. He needs a challenge and you chasing him is NOT a challenge. Pull back.

I Don’t Want to Play Games!

This is NOT about game playing, this is about giving this man time to realize that he has feelings for you. He needs to feel invested in the relationship. These men are very slow to catch feelings, so slow that you might get bored or tired of it and just bail. So you must, must, must give him time.

If you are texting him, calling him and not even allowing him to do his job he is less invested, less interested. This is not a challenge for him. So what should you do?

You need to let him be the man and do the work to win you. In other words, let him pursue you. There is nothing wrong with lightly encouraging him, but it does not need to be done all the time!

Why Is He Distancing Himself After Getting So Close?

If you’ve come to the point where he’s pulling away after getting close (from being intimate or sharing his feelings) then let him pull away! He needs space and time to think and do his thing.

This is incredibly important. You do not want to start blowing up his phone/going to his place uninvited when he’s gone MIA. For whatever reason, he’s decided that he needs time away. It might be that he needs to think things over, feels uncomfortable with the new situation and needs to get himself under control. You will need to let him be and mirror his actions.
You might also want to read: What to Do When a Man Pulls Away, for some extra advice.

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Another Reason He Might Pull Away

There is something you should know about all Capricorns and this is a definite possibility as far as the men go. They can be INSECURE! Capricorns love to be in control of situations and it’s hard to let their guard down, it takes A LOT of time to trust and to know for sure that someone will not hurt them. You just have to be patient with this man.

Sometimes he will need to be encouraged a bit more times than others. Please don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mean that you should do all the work and calling and planning of dates. NO! I mean that you need to complement him, let him know you enjoy his company. For instance, after a date you can let him know you had a wonderful time with him and hope to see him soon.

After he’s asked you out a few times, now it’s your turn to invite him somewhere, like the movies or dinner. This lets him know you really do like him.

There is nothing wrong with this. Now, if he doesn’t respond to that, then you have your answer. He’s not interested. But if he responds then you know he is, indeed, interested. He needs to be encouraged.  Check out 7 Relationship Warning Signs to watch out for.

Do Capricorn Men Like to Be Chased?

You should never chase a Capricorn man. This bears repeating, don’t ever chase. These men have been know to be very slow moving and even slower to form an emotional bond with women. You may think that he wants you to chase him but don’t let his hesitation and slow nature confuse you. He is thinking things over, Caps can be very much in their head and it can take time for them to come to terms with how they will proceed. These are very cautious men.

You chasing him and making yourself available at all times is not going to help. Be strong confident, friendly and wait for him to come to you.

The Rubber-band Theory

Capricorn man a guide to understand your man
The Capricorn Man- A Guide to Understand Your Capricorn

If your Capricorn male has pulled away, disappeared or is unresponsive then, lady, it’s time for you to do the same. This is difficult but it’s imperative to not initiate when has pulled away like this. When he has distanced himself, the more you call/text him, the further he could move away from you.

If you go wild and call him repeatedly, What happens is that he now has his validation that you are in deeper than he is and the mystery has worn off. He doesn’t have a reason to keep pursuing you.

But.. if you mirror him and don’t call/text/visit him then he starts to wonder about you. He may wonder why you have not called him and asked him where he’s been. When you fail to do this he gets incredibly curious and will snap right back to you like a rubber-band to see how you are doing. He sees that his job is not done and he needs to keep pursuing you to win you.

Will He Come Back?

If he’s disappeared and never contacts you then he was not right for you and most likely was not a suitable candidate. Don’t feel bad about this. There is nothing wrong with you, he just was not the one for you.

At least this way, you have weeded him out. You want a real man that will pursue you genuinely and is not afraid of commitment.

Note: I may write an ebook on this topic, head over to The Capricorn Man- A Guide for Women, if you’re interested in unlocking the mystery of your Capricorn guy.

Beware of Unevolved Capricorn Men

Why Men Love BitchesWhy Men Love Bitches

Capricorns can be very devoted and loving partners but if they are not evolved or just not ready for a relationship then it will not work. Some Caps that are unevolved can/may come off very strong in the beginning of a relationship. Watch out for this and don’t let his eagerness or sweet words overwhelm you. It can be very disarming when it comes at you at first.

This is not to say that he’s fooling you, on the contrary, just do not let your emotions get the best of you in the very beginning of the relationship. When he catches wind of your feelings too soon, it can put you at a disadvantage. Keep calm, cool and collected.

Move slow and don’t let his excitement push you into moving quickly. Slow and steady really does win the race.

What Should You Do If Your Cappy disappears on You for a Few Days?

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If you liked this article you may also want to check out The Capricorn Man- A Guide to Understand Your Capricorn if you’re interested in this topic.

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416 thoughts on “Relationships With Capricorn Men

  1. Hi-

    I have been seeing a cap for 7 months. We are long distance. He is going through a rough divorce. Finally towards the end of it. We got in a fight last time I was there over his actions. I was repetitive with my words and pushed him. When I left he was upset. I gave him a very honest and straight forward apology. He said at that moment he didn’t want to see me again but would probably come off the ledge. He doesn’t want the drama. I am usually even keel.

    After I left he texted short but he responded for two days. I know he has his sons full time this week, but he hasn’t responded for 3 days. I have just said hope you’re having a good day. I just want him to tell me if he doesn’t want to talk anymore. He is 49 and I am 37.

    Should I ask him?

    1. Hi Kristin,
      Since he’s still mid divorce I’d say to give him some space and a little bit of time. Many Caps don’t like to be pushed and like to come to resolutions on their own terms. Perhaps a breather is in order until he gets his divorce wrapped up. The distance might also help you both get some clarity on whether you want to move forward. I hope this helps.

  2. Hi there! Love your articles on Capricorn men! What unique creatures … to say the least.

    My Capricorn found me on tinder, where we chatted a couple of days before exchanging numbers.

    He wanted to get together right away, but due to commitments with his family, we had to reschedule. He felt SO bad about that, and I was completely fine with waiting another week. He even offered to break time with his family for me, which I would not let him do.

    We continued to talk multiple times, daily via text … he was the one contacting me. We clicked really well. He even told me things that he was afraid of saying because he thought I might be turned off … like past girlfriends who hurt him, etc., and I wasn’t, I appreciated his honesty and told him that.

    We finally got together this last weekend. He lives an hour out of town … he drove here to see me and we ended up spending 4 hours together. It was really fun and effortless. He hinted 3 times that he wanted to see me again too, but also mentioned he might have to do things with family on the next free weekend. I didn’t push and showed support for whatever he wanted to do. As soon as he got home, he texted to say he had a good time and enjoyed my company and that he would talk to me the next day.

    I dropped him a quick line that next day and I haven’t heard from him since. I didn’t text again as I’ve read about the elusive cappi needing his space in lots of other online forums.

    I let another 3 days go by and I texted him yesterday with a cheery message saying I hoped he was having a great week and still nothing.

    So I’m really confused. Why be so into me, share vulnetabilities, hint 3 times at wanting to get together again and even texting to compliment the date … to completely dropping off the face of the planet? is he busy mulling things over, or is he not into me? He seemed to be pretty honest and straightforward, so why wouldn’t he just say he’s changed his mind?

    I like him and thought we had a great time. At the very least, if he’s not interested, I deserve the respect to hear it instead of being ghosted. How long should I wait around to hear from him before I let myself move on? Any insight/advice to this very different male would be much appreciated. Thank you!

    1. I am somewhat in a similar situation. It’s been 3 months for you now- Any luck? Mine was hot and cold too. They are notoriously bad at flirting or giving any vulnerability to you, and they are insanely sardonic and insecure. So it just seemed like I had this guy consistently around that showed no romantic interest and would cut himself down so much it was almost like he was calling me crazy for liking him. Double whammy of feeling like poop. Good grief! He treats me like a friend. The strange thing is in his own way i still knew he was interested in me in the best way he could given his inner issues. But man-what a mental roller coaster! This guy never ghosted me through messaging but would ghost me in person. We acknowledged we were going to the same bar first time meeting he was going with friends. Mine wanted to go home- I even stayed behind alone just to meet him. The bar was busy and he was in and out without saying hi or introducing himself then later apologized and said his friends didn’t want to stay. The strange episodes of what felt like rejection continued- Id reach out and attempt to make plans, he would turn them down stay home yet text me all night. We finally met at a festival and he was so shy and insecure he barely talked to me the entire time then followed up messaging me saying hes still interested. We kissed that night briefly but then he did this weird fast peck thing to stop slowly making out and felt like a signal to stop kissing him. He called me (ONE TIME) absolutely flawless conversation great chemistry, then wouldn’t follow up and take it to the next level. After weeks of talking he finally offered to meet up (saying his friend ditched so he was available – Capricorns do anything to come across they don’t fully care) The plans were last minute so me being a Libra I freaked and quickly got ready to make sure I was visually desirable. I said just to give me 15 minutes. I came outside dude was GONE AND WENT HOME!!! I blew up (only time I snapped) and said WHAT IS THIS SOME KIND OF GAME!? He apologized but then said If you think it was don’t you think I would have played? O_O…THEN SILENCE on both our ends. follow up precisely one year later. I reached out and just apologized to clear the air and we’ve been talking again sense but I feel the speed is even less and hes even LESS obvious about his interest then last time. Like i’m being punished for snapping at him last year and i’m even farther than I was before. Hes complimented several selfies of me that’s about IT. I even find myself deep skimming through old conversations to analyze the chat because Capricorn communication has to be decoded somehow. Your Capricorn might be insecure as well because mine said he’ll ditch plans with people if hes feeling fat and worthless. All this what seems like middle school dating doesn’t make sense with his lifestyle. He’s 25 works at a good position with progressive and OWNS A HOUSE. I have a career but i’m 33 in a studio!!! After the last year ditch, fast forward to now- The dude will be out with friends telling me about the drinks hes having and what his friends are doing completely narrating his night giving me all the attention without inviting me TO the event. I’m just sitting on my couch lonely like…wtf. I read though Capricorns work ethic is so smothering to his soul he has to spend the free time he has with friends he deeply trusts. It’s like i’m not worthy of the clique :/. He even said his friends think i’m hot. I was like “Oh they saw me? :)” Then he was like yeah they took my phone away when they saw me talking to a guy. (Detaching from showing he cares) UGH!!! I am absolutely crazy about this boy. His career, moral values, protection of the ones he loves, his burst of Capricorn energy when hes away from the stressful corporate life. I love his laugh its infectious and he always apologizes for his actions. He has the biggest mixed signals of any boy I have ever dated. I feel he is a perfect marrying partner but I can’t figure out that initial barrier he has whatsoever. He reached out to me 2 days ago, i reached out to him last night now i am waiting for my follow up now its been almost 24 hours. My gut is just in a knot. I’m tired of this slow pace of no trust, romance, nor flirting, and feeling like I am under some sort of test.

  3. I need an advice. I’ve been dating a Capricorn man for 3 months and everything has been great however he has told me that he’s looking for something serious and then said he wasn’t looking for anything serious.

    I’m confused to this point becuase we talked about being exclusive, he’s been treating me like a boyfriend and when he told me he was looking for something serious I felt like I could open up to him and that we were in the same page.

    Later on that night when he said that so I stood up and went home. He asked me what was wrong and I told him I needed to think a lot after our conversation earlier (he said he wasn’t looking for anything serious) and that I would rather think about it at home.

    As days go by I wasn’t really talking to him and he texted me few times and I took my time to reply short messages, he understood I needed my space and time to he let me be. I asked him to meet the following Monday (this week) and I told him that I was a little confused about what he really wanted from me since he’s told me before that he wanted something serious with me and then he said he wasn’t and that although I appreciate his kind actions and being nice to me so far I couldn’t stop thinking on his words and I really needed to know what he really wants because it’s not fair to “date” people if he’s not really looking for anything. It’s not fair to lead people to think they’re dating and that it wouldn’t be fair for me to invest my feelings in him if he is really not looking to have something serious. I told
    Him that I do love and appreciate myself enough to let it slide as I really want to be with somebody that is sure about wanting to be with me without playing games. I said all of this in a very chill and calm way. I was expecting him to say a word or have a conversation with me but no. He Just kept quiet and only agreed with me when I said that his actions contradict his words. He said he was gonna text me “later” and we said goodbye.

    It’s saturday now, he’s been gone to Argentina since Thursday. I’ve been on my own living my life and minding my bussines. I’ve been kinda expecting to hear from him but knowing how sensitive he is i don’t think he will come back. It’s almost a week since Monday, i just wanna text him a small message saying “hey alex i wish your trip to Argentina was great and that you’re safe! Can’t wait you tell me all the details” just like nothing happened. For me this conversation didn’t mean I was ending things. I would really love to keep seeing him and getting to know him better, even I would love to have him as a friend.

    I’m giving him space and time but I’m afraid I can’t give him too much time or else I will start to get over him. However, I thought i got over him LMAO but I actually miss him and wanna hang out again. I think he’s a great guy, a bit insecure and doesn’t have the skills I have to talk about feelings and emotions but my heart tells me I did the right thing to call it out instead of pretending like he wasn’t confused. It’s not that I’m excusing him, because he agrees he’s confusing but I’m willing to fight for what I want. Because I truly like him! It’s not that I plan to put myself in a position where I’m begging for love but since also for me it takes time to trust people and open myself to others I feel like we needed more time before talking about this, it’s just like things happened, sex happened, i don’t wanna say things happened fast but things happened for a reason and I just can’t believe we talked about being exclusive and he got cold feet. He seemed to be super secure about wanting and going for it and in one week he was just not LMAO.

    What should I do?
    I’m a Cancer man (27) dating a Capricorn Man (33)

    Ps. I’m not like most unevolved cancers. I’m actually very chill and down to earth. I’m actually kinda proud of myself on how I’m handling this situation because other times I just end up bottling up myself and not being myself and in toxic relationships where I’m always the guy that gives the most but loses all. I know people have a bad reputation about cancers and I agree we tend to be manipulative but only when we are insecure and dumb and young.


    1. Hi there! I think you did the right thing in stepping back. It’s completely confusing (and misleading) to say he wants something serious and then start to back peddle like that.

      The only thing I can say is if it got too intense/too much pressure about “where this is going,” he might have had some second thoughts about how quickly it was going. Perhaps, him saying that was a gut reaction to it, to take the pressure off and most of all, to possibly slow the speed down.

      Sometimes caps aren’t so verbal with the emotions, definitely not as easily verbal and showy as Cancer, IMO. So it’s tough to quantify feelings and explain. He’ll show them through his actions. But I do think you did the right thing in stepping back to give him space. You’ve got to be who you are and do what feels natural.

      That said, I don’t see the harm in a quick message wishing him well and checking in on him.

      1. Hello , I’ve been dating a Cap for about 4 months now. And I really liked him. We spent a lot of time together and we texted all day and night. He’s going through a divorce and I broke up with my ex and moved out on my own. After that things really set off hard. The day after valentines he told me that he loved me and it thought things were going well. He always said” I hope you’re not playing with me because I really want this and I hope you’re not playing games with me.” And I wasn’t. I made myself so available and committed to this guy. I never lied to him and I loved him dearly. I met his kid , he met mines, he told me some of his secrets and I told him mines everything seemed fine. About 3 weeks ago he told me that he did not trust that I had his back and told me that he was going to step back a bit and see things for what they really were. And he needed space. Ok cool I still tried to text him because I cared about his mental state. But he told me that I didn’t respect him. We argued all that week and he blocked me. And then Friday he texted me in the middle of the night and said he missed me and he wanted to see if things could work out. Even better. I said okay , he came over the next day but he was acting so shy , he didn’t say much and that’s not normally him. After we had sex he tossed and turned all night. And then 2 days later he said that he didn’t want to be bothered with me anymore and to move on with my life. I questioned him and asked why , and could he give me a better understanding and if i did something wrong and he said he just didn’t want to deal with me anymore physically, verbally, or sexually. He said it wasn’t about me and that he just didn’t want to be with anyone. This crushed me because I thought everything was going well and I’m a Cancer so you know I’m going crazy. I’m an emotional wreck. So after a little heated arguement. He blocked me and I blocked him. I don’t know whether to give him his time and space and he will come back when he’s ready or to just move on and take things for what they really are, DONE. I just feel so stupid. I know he’s not officially divorced , but if he said loved me and cared about me the way he did how can he just give up so quick and be done. ?! I just put so much time and energy into this and I think me calling and texting trying to beg him to express himself screwed everything up. Is this fixable ? I need advice.

  4. Hi Jeannie,

    I have known my Capricorn for about 2 months now, we’ve been out several times and things were going great. He would initiate talking and ask me out on dates. Things got a little off track when I said I needed to talk to him about the fact that I was dating someone else. I didn’t want to keep that from him since we were moving along so well. During this time, when I was trying to bring it up to him, I did a little chasing, not realizing it, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Afterwards, he had a conversation with me explaining all of this, basically, verbatim. That he wanted to be the one initiating and taking the lead as he had been before. I told him I didn’t realize how he felt and would gladly let him take the lead from here. He agreed and seemed relieved, but, I haven’t heard from him since and it’s been about a week. I haven’t made anymore attempts and am trying to give him space and let him come to me. I guess I want to know if this amount of time, a week, means a bad or a good thing? And if he did decide he no longer wants to see me if he would handle this by telling me or just let the space and distance remain?

    1. Hi Gemini,
      I don’t think a week is that a big of a deal. It might feel a bit off though since you are probably used to hearing from him within a shorter time frame. I think if he wasn’t into moving forward he’d just do a fade out (not contact anymore). I’d give him a bit more time. I do understand your concern but you have to just let him do the pursuing. If he’s interested he’s going to reach out to you and make the plans. Get busy with your life and friends and carry on like normal.

      1. Jeannie thanks for your reply! We did say we would take some space for a bit, I guess I didn’t expect it to be this long. If a Cap wasn’t interested would they take the time to have such a convo, or would they come out and say they don’t want to continue. Not sure how straight forward they are. I’m moving on as usual just want to set my expectations.

        1. Hmm.. it depends. I’d say give it a few more days. He’s probably just reassessing and trying to gather his bearings again to move forward after the convo. I think he’s really interested otherwise I don’t think he would have bothered to tell you about him wanting to pursue. Just sit tight. Patience. 🙂

  5. Hi,
    I connected with a Capricorn man that I knew when I was 10 years old, I am now 38 and he is 44. We were in the youth choir and went to camps together. We have occasionally spoke via social media but we have both been married for extended periods of time ( i even know his former wife). Well, his birthday came around this year and I reached out as usual to say the normal HBday and he responded as usual. But when he asked me about how life was going I mentioned I was going thru a divorce after 15 years of marriage and he then mentioned he had been divorced from his ex-wife for over 2 1/2 years! He then wanted to meet up for lunch soon, we did. The same day of lunch, after work, he wanted to meet up again, we went for drinks and kissed. He then wanted to meet up over the weekend and that Friday I came to his house (in which he said he has lived there a year ,I was the first visitor besides his family and guy friends that had been there.) We had a great time, we always could make each other laugh, talk of spiritual things, sat for a movie, he gave me a massage as I did him. Then each step of the way to making love he asked my permission and I said yes. Well the next morning I went home, he texted, and we spoke over the phone a few times but I felt him pulling back with the inconsistent text msgs. When I asked when he was coming my way again his response was IDK. ( He did just start a new job on the other side of town and he lives about an hour from the job and me). However, when I read up on Capricorn men, and regretted Immediately having sex with him. Keep in mind We had discussed a business venture, so when I didnt get a text all day, I texted him and said, I had been researching the biz and it sounds like a good investment. That dialog got his attention and he was texting all day. I then dropped the bomb, ” Oh BTW, what happened the other night can’t happen again, but thanks for the hospitality! I look forward to a great working relationship.” He immediately text back Huh/Wht?? So I called him the Next day and explained, “it could never happen again, I thank you for your hospitality and I had a great time, and you were a perfect gentleman. However, sex creates deep feelings, especially for the woman, and he and I have daughters (his 14) mine (20) and we would not suggest to them to be so free and careless with something so intimate like what we have done without a real committed relationship. As I am finishing up my divorce, I want to focus on that and getting everything lined up. He was shocked, and went on about how wonderful it was but that he respected my position. Since then he has been texting me Daily ! Its been 2 weeks total since the reunion, yet he has not suggested we go out again yet. When I was at his house I mentioned that men approach me often but I just hadnt been really paying them any attention, and he Immediately said, “You dont need to pay them any attention.” I also confirmed early on that I will be married again as I am designed to be a wife and he was surprised and said he wants to marry again too. He has been the one to pay for every date and cooked for me at his home. Im not having sex with him again for a long time if at all (At first he seemed pretty egotistical and thought I was going to crave him..and I did for a hot minute, but I am a Libra woman who knows how to keep them wanting more). Should I invite him out? Should I just let him keep reaching out to me for a while? (I do respond to him with funny 1 liners). If I do ask him out, where or what should I suggest?

    1. Hi Libra,
      I think he might have been a little discouraged after you told him “that can never happen again” and the bit about you look forward to a working relationship. Correct me if I’m wrong but I take that to mean you just want to have a strictly business relationship and nothing romantic? Also, I’m a little confused about the timeline, so you haven’t gone out since you two were intimate?

  6. I am a Virgo, hopelessly falling for a Capricorn man. I am frustrated and confused. We met on an online dating site. We have been talking for 21/2 months. Mainly text and phone calls. At first, he was the aggressor then things just slowed down. He expressed on several occasions that he really like me. I was hesitant but after a while, he captured my heart then, out of the blue he became distant. Calls stopped. He would call me back if he missed my call but he stopped initiating the calls. The text started to come far and few in between. After a few unanswered text and phone calls, I stopped trying to contact him. I got tired of feeling foolish and desperate. I actually thought he had someone else. After a couple of weeks, he texted me and said, “I don’t love him anymore. ” and that, ” I don’t call and text him anymore. ” I told him it is a two-way street. For about two weeks he made sure he called and text me and then he slowed down again. He Before he slowed down he told me all the things he liked about me and then he sent me the description of a Capricorn and told me to keep that in my mind. Some of our conversation has gotten pretty intimate but we only met once. He is a workaholic and he lives 100 miles away. I texted him yesterday just saying I hope he was having a good day and he did not answer. So I decided not to text him again. I really like him and believe he is worth waiting for. I asked if he was seeing some else and he said no. I am I making a mistake.

    1. Hi Monica,
      Thank you for commenting. 100 miles is quite a distance. I think you’re right to be cautious and slow it down and you were right by telling him it’s a two way street. It’s not really inspiring for you that he’s not initiating/putting in equal work to make this happen. Have you two made arrangements to meet again? You’ve only met once so that’s a bit of a concern, although the distance makes it a bit harder to bond with each other.

  7. Hi

    I have been seeing my Capricorn guy for about 8 months now. He just turned 45 and I am soon to be 31. I am a Pisces woman and it has been said that we compliment each other well but I am not so sure about my Cap.

    In the first few weeks of our relationship he absolutely swept me off my feet. Showered me with complements, took me on a few dates, spent quality time with me, calling or texting every day and I could tell that he was trying to impress me. We also had the most passionate sex after our first date and I thought that it was over but he kept contacting me. So I thought to myself that he wasn’t a “hit it and quit it” type of guy. I just couldn’t resist him because he was sooooo sexy and admirable to me. Then “bam” the honeymoon stage was over before I knew it. He did a total 360 on me and I didn’t know why.

    About three months into our relationship he stopped coming around, was calling me less and less, barely texting me and it hurt so badly because I realized that I was becoming emotionally invested in him, but it appeared that he was not emotionally invested in me at all. This continued for about five more months and got worst on his part. I had discussions with him about how his actions were affecting me on more than one occasion. He made promises to make things better but he never did and I was becoming more and more frustrated with him and our situation.

    Upon the eight month mark I decided to re-evaluate the relationship and decide whether or not this was how I wanted to continue with my life. I informed him that I needed some time to sort out my feelings and get my mind right because I was terribly hurt by his reactions to which I had no explanation for. I know that Caps are shy and bottle in their emotions, fear rejection/love because they are afraid of being hurt but so does Pisces women. I have been hurt a lot by people that I loved but I didn’t let that define who I am because I learn, grow and develop…emotionally and spiritually.

    I really thought that my Cap was ready for a relationship with me but the more that I got to know him, I realized that he wasn’t. I have decided to let him go, detach my emotions, love and feelings from the situation and live my life. I told him that we could remain friends if he wanted us to because there were no hard feelings, but i got no response from him. I know that he is hurt but I had to do what was best for me. I don’t like the way he communicates with me which causes a lot of unwarranted feelings to surface. If he is truly meant for me then he would return and be better for me. I love this man so much and I know that he loves me too because we have said it to each other more than once, but I hate uncertainty and that’s all I have been getting from him for the past 5-6 months. If he requires time to sort his feelings out then so be it. I will allow him that time. I am patient and willing to work with him for our relationship but he has to make the effort and until I see that I would be separating myself from the situation.

    1. Hi Lilly,
      That honeymoon stage is definitely nice but it wears off and then you’re left with the real person. That is the real test to know if they are equipped to handle a real (long term) relationship. It sounds like you know what you want and it’s not that situation. You deserve a man who will actually make the effort to sustain the relationship.

  8. What would be the best way for me to handle the first time I run into my ex? It will be a public event that he doesn’t know I will also be attending, and his friends, my friends, and some mutual friends will be there as well because of our common activities; it will have been about 3 months since our break-up and any contact with each other. It was long distance and we’d only see each other about 4 times a year at most if we didn’t make our own plans; this is one of those 4-ish times. He broke up with me because I was clingy and he didn’t want too much attention or to feel obsessed over (I made the mistake of coming off as desperate, overbearing, and suffocating when he disappeared for a while likely due to starting to think I’m too dependent on him, and I panicked, leading to unwanted calls and texts trying to get him to be responsive), and by the time he made his decision, he didn’t want anything to do with me whether that was being in a relationship, being friends (though we’d probably be on these terms had we studied at the same school and saw each other regularly) or keeping lines of staying in touch open (he blocked my number and me on social media so now I can only get to him through mutual friends and he never responded to me directly when I initially tried to sort things out). Soon after he told me he doesn’t want a relationship I had made it clear to him that if we run into each other in the future I most likely won’t be ignoring him because it’s not in my personality to ignore anyone no matter what our current terms are and I think it’s always nice to see people you know after a while, and I want him to take it that objectively, but I am afraid he won’t do that when a preconceived notion of clinginess and all could be in the mix to prevent him from seeing that the way I act is because I’m approachable, friendly, etc. by nature rather than necessarily acting upon having strong feelings for him. If nothing like a break-up had happened between us and say we were still just friendly as before our relationship, I would usually smile a lot and be enthusiastic (especially when it had been a long time since we had seen each other, such as greeting and saying goodbye with a hug) and conversational with him, showing interest in how he had been since we last saw or contacted each other, but I don’t know how much of that I can feel free to be in how I interact with him this first time, hopefully in a way that might make him reconsider his impression of me or beginning to enjoy my company and conversation again. I do plan on taking it slow and my goal for now is to get him interested in speaking to and being in contact with me again and go from there. I am also not sure whether for this to work to possibly lead to any re-interest, it would require conversation and for him to initiate it; if so, what would be best to do in a case he might not approach me? He is generally shy and not really outgoing unless he is interested in someone, and he isn’t interested in me at the moment as far as I know, and I see that he might feel awkward in this situation, especially when other people we know will be around. I also worry that if I don’t take initiative with him yet interact with mutual friends I’d be being insensitive to his insecurities in group situations from feeling excluded and unwanted, which he knows I’m aware of, in addition to the fear of losing respect if I don’t act the way I explicitly created an expectation for me to and of seeming as though I’ve been hung-over him to that day if I act much differently from the time before I started to get clingy. Thank you so much for any insight.

    1. First, go without any expectations and be ready to have a nice time. It’s possible he may not be there but if he is, I would be cordial with him. Greet him and say, “hi it’s good to see you again.” But don’t force anything or him into an extended conversation. Since he’s the one that broke up with you though due to clingy or neediness I’d just show him that you are well past that and doing well on your own now.

      Sometimes we can let our emotions get the best of us when facing breakups and dealing with the absence of a loved one, I’ve been there too. They key here, is to stay in control of your emotions. Be warm, friendly (just yourself) and open. Luckily, your friends are there as well so they can act as a nice buffer between the two of you.

      1. Thank you so very much! I have a few questions dealing with details I hope not to be confused about that day: In the case that he might not be there but his and mutual friends are and I hang out with them, what would be a good way to respond if anyone happens to ask how I’m currently doing and feeling in regards to my ex after our break-up? And if he is there, what is an example of how in my conversation or in the way I interact with him I can show that I’m past the clinginess and neediness I exhibited earlier and am doing well on my own? Two days after our break-up (this was the last time I tried to get to him and any way I contacted him since the break-up) I gave a letter to one of our mutual friends to give to him that I wrote explaining that I realized my mistakes about making him feel suffocated and the wrong behaviors such as the unnecessary texting and calling though this impatience was due to being overly preoccupied when he started to be unresponsive after it started going downhill from sending a text message that was likely beginning to scare him off because when I now go back to read it I see that it was showing that maybe I was getting a bit too keen on seeing him more (which is probably natural when you don’t see each other that often due to long distance situations) and think about him so much it takes away from my life apart from him (could easily be interpreted as obsession), and seeing the damage of that (his unresponsiveness) affecting my ability to concentrate at school and work and my performance there, which I couldn’t afford, which I also included, but as apparent, that was too late to prove that I would be implementing my learning because two days was likely not enough time for him to become removed from what had happened shortly before our break-up to calmly look at and consider my perspective and the damage had been done by the time of the break-up since my mistakes caused him to lose interest, and he never responded directly or indirectly to anything in my letter. I hope to find a way he could finally start to see what I tried to explain to him without seeming overly assertive of my point that I’ve learnt from my mistakes and wouldn’t make them again if we were to be in a relationship again and that as I have been able to before and during the relationship and break-up, I’m doing well on my own after it all, too, so how can I get him to get the right ideas without a backfiring? I was also not sure whether this would have an impact, but this is a track meet in which I’m supporting my school’s team by watching that he is running in if he doesn’t have a schedule conflict and both of our schools’ teams rarely are in the same invitational (hence my detail of seeing each other only a few times a year if we were to at most), so I was trying to figure out whether there was a a way for circumstances to be favorable. My friends will arrive at one point so I will have the option of being with them for part of the event, but when they do can vary. Would it be a better idea to arrive early by myself (and perhaps have something to keep myself occupied like a book to follow through with lessons from one of my courses) so I can be more approachable since there’d be more time for interaction before the competitions start and things get busy, to come early but have friends around, to come at or after the time the event starts by myself and meet up with friends, or to do that but arrive with friends? I may be overthinking it, but I just want to be sure I’m setting myself up for a successful encounter. And lastly, I have always greeted and said goodbye to my Capricorn ex with a hug when we saw each other in person (the nature of it varied since we were on friendly terms for a while before getting into a relationship or anything of a romantic nature, but giving him a hug was always something I did that he got used to and sometimes initiated especially during our relationship); in the first moments of seeing each other again away from the group of mutual friends or with them should I give him a hug as I used to do normally or is that something I should avoid even if I start to interact with our mutual friends and give them a hug because I don’t see them after a while, and he’s there with them? Thank you so much for helping me through with the particulars of my situation.

        1. I will see him in 5 days (on Friday) and still go back and forth with the confusions I addressed in my last comment, not reaching a decision but wanting to know what I’m going to do but of course expecting the possibility of needing to adapt to the situation. I would immensely appreciate it if my questions could be addressed, and I know that’s a whole lot of thought processes I’ve presented as questions and I appreciate your time and input, so I will not mind if my previous comment stays unanswered but I still have time and will definitely be helped with insight directed towards answering the questions with your opinion. Thank you so very much either way! 🙂

          1. Q: In the case that he might not be there but his and mutual friends are and I hang out with them, what would be a good way to respond if anyone happens to ask how I’m currently doing and feeling in regards to my ex after our break-up?

            If anyone happens to ask just be honest. I wouldn’t act incredibly sad but let them know it’s been tough but things are getting much better and you’re in a happier place.

            Q:And if he is there, what is an example of how in my conversation or in the way I interact with him I can show that I’m past the clinginess and neediness I exhibited earlier and am doing well on my own?
            You can show that the clinginess/neediness is gone by being slightly aloof and not hanging on every word he says or pushing for more conversation than is necessary.

            Q:I’m doing well on my own after it all, too, so how can I get him to get the right ideas without a backfiring?
            Just be yourself and it’s important not to try too hard or go out of your way to show him you’re not the same person as before. Be calm and and relaxed but warm and friendly.

            Q: And lastly, I have always greeted and said goodbye to my Capricorn ex with a hug when we saw each other in person (the nature of it varied since we were on friendly terms for a while before getting into a relationship or anything of a romantic nature, but giving him a hug was always something I did that he got used to and sometimes initiated especially during our relationship); in the first moments of seeing each other again away from the group of mutual friends or with them should I give him a hug as I used to do normally or is that something I should avoid even if I start to interact with our mutual friends and give them a hug because I don’t see them after a while, and he’s there with them?
            As far as the hug goes if you feel comfortable initiating the hug and it’s the way you’ve always greeted him then do what feels right to you in that moment. It might be awkward if you hug everyone except for him so there’s also that to consider. I hope this helps.

      2. In december last year a capricorn man popped up to me. we had both known of each other for a very long time, he had even been following me on all my social media platforms since 2014, but only december he decided to make his move. he was really intense bombarding me with messages non-stop and at first i wasn’t even that into him… just liked the attention i guess. he wanted to meet me that day, but that was too soon for me, so we arranged for tuesday, something came up and he couldn’t do tuesday so we finally met on wednesday. he picked me up in his car and everything was just electric. it wasn’t awkward the conversation was flowing, we talked about everything you name it, and then things got really hot and kinky. anyway he dropped me home and after this things were still great texting, calling everyday he couldn’t stop saying how this was going to happen plenty more times and that i surprised him. the following week is where things started going downhill, he wasn’t messaging me as often , which i could understand because he was working, but he was messaging me 24/7 before when he was still working? anyway he arranged to meet me friday. so friday came and he said he was gonna go home have a shower etc and then come pick me up.. i waited .. he never showed turns out he fell asleep and i know this was true because he works hard and is always knackered and i was sure he hadn’t gone somewhere else, anyway this same thing happened 4 more times, he stood me up, would leave me waiting all dressed up for his call. Each time his excuse was that he fell asleep. At least the first few times he would apologise or explain but by the third he would use ignore my messages and act like it hadn’t happened. in between all this he would still send me messages like “I’m thinking of you and only you recently “and other random lovely things all conveniently when i was losing hope. but i began to wonder whether or not he had lost interest in me. i went away during christmas and when i was away he kept talking about how much he wanted me home and all these other nice things. yet when i got home nothing… since I’ve got back he’s arranged to meet me and the same thing happened he stood me up and then just this monday he stood me up again. now, this is the part that i really need your help with because i do not understand. yesterday he called me and said he wanted to see me, but i was busy and i really couldn’t cancel my plans and frankly it takes the piss how many times I’ve cancelled my plans for him not to show up. Anyway he gets really annoyed and begs me to meet him. i told him i was busy this week and that we could do next week thinking if he hasn’t seen me in over a month, one week won’t make a difference, and this morning i message him and he tells me its “not happening” and i “lost my chance” and “give up” repeatedly . I can tell that he is being deadly serious like he is genuinely done with me and when i ask why and what his reason is he said its because i didn’t meet him last night?!? how can he say this after he knows how many chances I’ve given him!
        Also i have to add that one thing i think he has a problem with even though he denies it is our age difference. we have 8 years between us and, all through out last week he kept on saying i was “shy” ,when I’m very far from shy and no one would say I’m shy and he would say i think its because of your age blah blah blah… this was just a lie and i think he was just feeling uncomfortable about my age even though he says it dosent bother him.. I DONT KNOW I AM JUST SO CONFUSED, help me please!!!

        1. Hi Sarah,
          I’m sorry, but he doesn’t sound serious to me. He stood you up MANY times and he expects you to drop your plans to see him last minute? Then he says he “gives up” because you didn’t meet him on a whim when it’s convenient for him? A gentleman and a grown adult man that is ready for a relationship is going to follow through with his plans to see you, not repeatedly ask you out and stand you up.

  9. I am a Leo woman and confused with my Capricorn man’s on and off texting. He and I had met about 5 times when were 18-19 years and fell madly in love but my traditional family situation did not let me make the right decision to marry him which he told me he wanted to. To add to it, he sort of showed me he wanted me badly physically and I was too naive to understand what it meant at the time. Especially as he is a sportsman and lived few cities away and I am not a celebrity but educated and from a very respectable background.
    Unfortunately, we lost touch and it was neither of our fault and the ending was abrupt! It stayed within me for 20 years and I finally managed to get his number and called him 5 months ago. He and I both are in horrendous marriages and married each others duplicates( rebound) and love just gushed back. I now live further away from him so its a long distance relationship and he couldnt stop telling me how much he loves me. He texts me about everything he used to do and we talked often and met few times over 5 months.
    One day he had a big career failure and since that day he has gone in to a cocoon and doesnt seem to need me. Unfortunately I acted way too needy and messed it all up worse than it was.
    I miss him! He texts me every two days now asking me if I got my new job and if my kids are alright. And the fight started mainly because he told me about a possible trip to Paris with his wife’s work group trip and I felt neglected as he never made an attempt to visit me although he said he was thinking of visiting soon.
    He recently told me he will not go to Paris if it made me feel better. To which I responded,’no one should take away a relaxed holiday from you, have a safe trip’
    He is in touch on and off literally one line in two days and I respond back like a robot but a happy robot!
    What do I do? I want him, I know he loved me for real. Very tough future ahead as I dont want to give my young kids a new father and will stick around the marriage for another 10 years.

    1. He has begun messaging more often and sending forwards. He said today that he is helping me with my job search. The job in my place of residence. He did not mention anything about travel to come see him.
      Is this his parting gift? Why is he getting me a job?

      1. As of today, he has been messaging a lot and at one time when i did not respond for a while he messaged ‘why are you not responding, you either over do it or under do it’.

        He has also asked me if I am taking care of myself and sharing about his own health and his moms.

        I am calm as I can be.

    2. Hi Aaru. This is a tough one for me to answer, mostly because the two of you are still very much married to other people. Have you talked with each other about moving forward -(whether it’s separating from your current marriages or at least talking with your current spouse and being very honest about your unhappiness in the marriage?)

      All I can say is if he’s gone into a a cocoon from a career failure, that sounds normal to me. Anything that hits the finance department will be a HUGE blow to a Capricorn, IMO and we can definitely be susceptible to depression because of it. Be supportive and just listen (no judgement) when he wants to open up and talk about it but do not push him. A simple, “I’m here for you,” will suffice.

      Note that Caps can be very traditional, consider that he may not want to leave his wife. Are you okay with this possibility?

      1. Jeannie,
        He finally has come out of his coccoon and back to normal and appreciated the way I handled the situation.
        He is coming to meet me soon.
        As for leaving my current marriage, my kids are way too young for me to move to another man with them. As for his marriage he seems traditional however says he will want me to leave my marriage first for him to leave her. Honestly, I dont have it in me to give my kids to a new dad even if its a good thing. Nature wins always!
        I am unable to stop desiring him and I think this is for life. Slowly but surely I feel he will make me move in with him and take a call with the wife.
        But its going to be a long wait for me to go with this.

        1. So he is back to normal and I am guessing he wants a serious relationship that will lead to a marriage. Are cappies serious or sometimes say things without much thought?

          1. Jeanine,
            You have dropped me no responses! Why?
            I wanted to tell you that he and I are finally on the same page. Extremely in love and respectful and crave for each other. We have decided when my kids grow up a little he and I will move in together, very happy as thats the earliest I can. I know I want my old age with him, love him first and last in my lifetime. So true for him too I suppose.

          2. Hi Aaru,
            I thought I did respond to you. My apologies. I’m not sure what else to add to your comment. Your other question was: Are cappies serious or sometimes say things without much thought? To answer that, I think Capricorns are usually more action oriented. If you want to know how he really feels then look to his actions to tell. No, most do not say things without thought. Most things are carefully thought over.

  10. I’m a Sag Female, and I’ve been talking online, with a cap guy. We’ve been talking for about a month now, and I’m starting to wonder if this is going anywhere…

    He sends me messages almost every day, that are well thought out, and he always keeps the conversation moving, BUT he has shown absolutely no interest in meeting in real life, he hasn’t even asked me for my number.

    This leads me to my next problem. Before I started talking to him I cancelled my subscription to the site, and it’s ending next week, after that we wont’ be able to communicate unless we exchange numbers beforehand. If I’m not supposed to “chase” him at all, how can I bring this topic up without making him feel like I’m pushing him, if he’s not ready for that step?

    I’ve been trying very hard to be patient with him, but I don’t understand why he has no interest in meeting in real life yet. For me that’s the best way for me to know whether I want to continue to get to know someone. How should I move forward here?

    1. Hi Ash,
      What you could do (on your last few days of your subscription) is let him know that your subscription is expiring on x day and that you’ve really enjoyed conversing with him. Let him know that you’d like to continue communicating and then give him your email address. Be friendly and open. I’d say give him your phone # (which you may want to do as well) but I understand that you don’t want to pressure him into calling/texting sooner than he’s ready. That way you can still keep up the communication.

      It’s not really chasing if you do it this way as you’re simply letting him know you’ll no longer be on the site. It’s a courtesy.
      The fact that he’s taking the time to converse almost every day is really great and shows a lot of promise.

  11. Hello,

    I’m a female Gemini in her early 20s. I recently met a male Cap in his early 20s about 2 months ago. Our initial interaction spanned an entire weekend (although he informed me that we had previously met during the summer, ironically at my own birthday party), when we celebrated a mutual friend’s birthday party. I was enjoying his company and simply getting to know him during that time, when the mutual friend informed me that he had a girlfriend. I kept my distance, but remained neutral for the next week as the Cap continued to message me. Unexpectedly he opens open to me with a long, and I mean scrolling for days message about how he recently broke up with his girlfriend two months prior and then he meets me, and I somehow swept him off his feet. (I guess I have that effect on people). Anyway I was slightly overwhelmed with his confession, but took it as genuine seeing that I had done nothing to cause him to open up to me. After that time we began to get closer as he unfortunately witnessed a difficult time in my life. Although I told him he wasn’t obligated to me in any way, he said he wanted to support me and I was grateful for that at the time. For the next month, we would talk everyday, see each other as often as we could and just enjoy one another’s company. Then just as unexpectedly as he opened up to me he disappeared. The day before I was supposed to go home for Thanksgiving break, we had arranged to go out together, get food, do something fun, etc. As day turned to night, I noticed he had not contacted me. So I called, twice with no answer and remained resigned to simply go to bed. The next morning I wake up, to find neither a missed call nor text from him. RED FLAG 1. I check my social media and there he is happily prancing around at 7 in the morning. RED FLAG 2. So naturally, I call and text with no answer. I send an ultimatum that is futilely ignored. FINAL RED FLAG At this point I look to a friend for comfort, because my anger at being ignored is overwhelming. I let the issue go…for a week. Then I reach out once more, with the response of “My intentions are not to hurt you, I understand your frustration. I will call you once I get off work.” Needless to say that call was never made. And now I am hear, completely taken out of character and still angry as f**k. The point of my long winded story was simply to ask what happened? Will this Cap man return when I least expect it? And what is the sane thing to do when he does, bc my gut is telling me he will.

    1. Hi Queen,

      That’s a good catch. Him moving so fast and admitting that you swept him off his feet (and in one weekend) was indeed a big RED flag. I don’t blame you for being angry. He made plans- flaked out on you (another RED flag). He most likely will be back. Be careful with this one. Another thing.. didn’t his friend say he had a girlfriend? But he told you he didn’t. Something isn’t right there either.

      1. Hello Jeannie,

        Thank you so much for your reply! I’m just completely confused at this point bc he got so close to me so quickly (if you could see the messages you would understand), and then just disappeared. But yeah our mutual friend said that he had a girlfriend, but he isn’t that close to him, so when he told me that he had broken up with her two months prior, I could understand that our mutual friend would have been unaware of that. Besides I hadn’t told him that someone informed me of that or gave any hint that I may have known anything. Last thing that rules it out is everyone knows his phone password. I’ve used it multiple times lol Last little funny comment, I posted on social media a video of me on my rooftop playing a song with very poignant lyrics. He watched the video and immediately commented “Good things come to those who wait.” If you knew me, like my friends know me, I wanted to jump through my phone. SO my only real question is what do I do when he comes back. I can be a million times more disrespectful than him and drop him completely. Or I can forgive and slowly let him make it up to me.

        1. Hey again Queen,

          Well, I’m speculating here but one possibility is that (since his breakup is pretty recent) he’s back with his ex. I could be wrong though and hope I am. It’s a bad sign to me that he didn’t respond to your calls/texts and flaked on you and then when you reached out a week later he said he’d explain and fell off the map again. Hmmm..

          One thing I can say is if/when he comes back (which is a possibility) is to just let him show you he means whatever he says. So far, he’s been all talk. For example, saying you swept him off his feet, but his actions are really saying something else. Go by his actions. They will show you whether he’s in it for real and truly interested. If he reaches out, take it slow and don’t let him rush you into anything. If he says he wants to make plans, let him arrange them and set the time/date/place.

          These fast movers are worrisome for me, because it’s like they want you to be so overwhelmed by their charm/courtship of you that you miss the red flags that are presented. Be wary of him.

    2. Cappy men are slow at relationships. They are insecure and sometimes need time to process things. I thougjt my cappy was cheating so I gave him an ultimatum. I told him either we were going to be a couple without outside interference or I was going to start dating. We didn’t call or text for 3 months. Finally he did call me and things are very different. He and I needed time to figure out where the relationship was going. We are together and things are going really good. So I would say,go on worth you life, if he is interested HE WILL come back. Cappy males really need a lot of space.

  12. Hello,

    I am a Capricorn Woman talking to a Capricorn Man. We have known each other since 8/15 through work. When I first met him I was in a long – term relationship. I didn’t pursue my interest in him because of that but we still flirted. I fought my feelings for him also because he is younger than me. 6 months later I broke up with my ex. Me and him had already became close and started texting. One night we were having a late night conversation and I mentioned sex. He said he was interested so we began the sexual part of our friendship. I was totally aware that it was just FWB and that he was still talking to other people. I didn’t mind because we boh were single.

    We spent the whole spring/summer on and off again talking because he would disappear. He told me I worked alot and never had time for him. Which was sort of true but I had alot going on as well. He always came back so I brushed it off. One night we had a disagreement in the fall and we stopped talking for awhile. I was really hurt because I now had feelings for him and he just cut me off. Told me that we weren’t in a place to be catching feelings and that it was just sex. By this time we had been FWB for more than 7 months. We had been committed to each other supposedly while we were both still single.

    After a while I went to his job just to see him. He flirted for a few minutes and then disappeared into the back of the store. It was cute to see he was still shy. A few days later I had enough of moping around and crying so I decided to contact him. I told him how I felt and that I missed him. He said he didn’t like certain things but were all things I had already told him about before they even appeared, but after that night we began texting daily non stop. He told me he wanted a close friend with benefits and I told him I wanted the same. He became very consistent in checking on me and making sure I was okay. But when it came to sex things got way more passionate. He began to do more intimate things then before. I was so taken a back because I had eliminated alot of my feelings not to get hurt. Sometimes he tells me I’m being cold and distant. I just don’t understand I don’t want to put myself out there to get hurt but his gestures are giving mixed signals. I’m trying not to overwhelm things and just go with the flow but he kind of put me as a top priority. However he still hasn’t opened up to me like that. He now talks about goals and looks to me for advice. Am I doing right? I just don’t want to lose him again.

    1. Hi Kandydream,

      Thanks for commenting. There’s always the risk that he can pull away again and just tell you something similar to what he said before, “it was just sex.” That’s what’s unsettling for me, personally, and what makes these types of relationships so uncertain. Because they are. There’s that risk that while you’re getting more and more attached (as it sounds like) that he can just pull away at any time because you’ve accepted the terms of Friends with Benefits. Have you ever tried discussing the topic of having more than FWB with him? What has his response been if you have?

  13. I lived with my Capricorn over 14 years ago. We have kept in contact as he has travel the world for work and now back in the US wants to see me. He called me first to get together and I was standoffish. I finally told him yes and now he keeps ignoring my calls and texts, but he has always emailed love at the end of his emails. I don’t know what to think

    1. Hi Melissa,
      Maybe your initial standoffish stance put him off. It’s a little tough to tell though from the info given, I’d need a bit more information. The ball is now in his court though if you’ve already sent him something back.

  14. Hello,
    I have met a Cap man last month online, from my side I was cool, collected and nothing in my mind actually towards him, he started to pursue me in the beginning for many days by messaging me every time he sign in while I reply every 2 – 3 days. One day we have talked all night till morning, it was meaningful conversation. Then back to the same situation (I go for days without msgs while he keep messaging me even telling me (he misses me), first time see a Cap man so fast in his feelings.Until second time we have talked and then we started to talk from time to time till it became mostly everyday or day by day, then in the half of the month he said to me that he want to travel to visit my family and started to ask me some questions about if I like to have children and so on, then he developed his questions to see a picture of me ( however he himself in the beginning told me that he will never ask me my pictures, my number..etc), and because I remember his sentence I thought he is playing with me to reach to what he wants, so he never seen me. Before he ask for a picture we had many meaningful conversations and he said I am like no other girl, I am in 20th and he’s in the beginning of 30th.
    He said I am falling for you, crazy about you and want you in my life, he was so romantic with me like no other. But remembering that Cap men are not fast in their feelings and taking their time make me feel doubt, yet I feel he can be really honest. After arguments and conversations, by the time I felt he is not messaging me like before not sure why, even he is signing in many times but not send me anything, I tried to not be heavy on him and gave him few days but nothing, (btw; he was jobless and he was going to get a new job but it hasn’t worked) I tried to ease on him and stand by him and give him courage, and he was alright and okay.
    After 2 days I came and talked with him and he was a bit cold in his talking and then he said he is busy with guests and has to go and he said he will text me later and it has not happened, however all; I respected him and let him and sent him a good night msg. Then I send him how are you msg after 2 days he answered with that he is sorry for not texting me and he is busy those days as he has to spend some days with one of his family member before she travel to other country, I respected that and I have went off for days maybe a week and after I signed in I found him signed in and has some online activities. It made my doubts more stronger.
    I send him a message after more two days and told him that I hope that his life going better and some wishes, however my message has a smile but it also has an upset sound, he felt that so he texted me back that I am the sweetest person that he has ever met and bla bla bla, he said that he was just checking the site but couldn’t reply so he knows it’s his fault for not texting me so please don’t be upset, and he said we will talk later and will explain everything. And some wishes and that’s all.. Should I believe this big lie? And if I even believed it, how long should I wait. Remembering that he kept pursuing me like crazy since first time, too fast to develop his feelings however I am not the first love/girl in his life. I felt like he dumped me like the pursue romantic game is over or something. The problem is he became not the chaser as before, he sign in more than one time for some days without msg me, he became only responds like I have explained before, yet he do some activities. He know I am jobless too and seeking for a job so he maybe think I am free all the time because he probably translates texting him lately from day to day is to just waste my time which is not true at all, I only do care about him but I don’t want anymore because I feel doubts.
    Does he lose his interest in me, or does he really face hard times, or does he hide a matter from me?… And what should I do in anyhow?

    Can you tell me your opinion.

    1. Hello Autumnleaf,

      So it’s been a little over a month. I would definitely just let him step up and contact you next. You already initiated texts those two times and he had a bit of lazy response to you. What concerns me is his fast feelings and admission of love so quickly. You are very right to be cautious as you two haven’t even met yet. Take this very slow and talk to others as well and do other things. He sounds like a good “starter,” meaning he gets excited (initially) and then sort of drops off when it’s time to progress to the next level. Plus, you have not even met each other yet so until you’ve met, put him in back of the line.

      If I were you, I’d wait for him to reach out. This is a good way to tell if he has what it takes to sustain something. He actually puts in more effort.

      1. Thank you, Jeannie.

        Yes, you’re right, since Capricorn is a Cardinal sign so he is good in initiations, but how to be continues and finish are also important as life need these three levels.

        Actually, that what happened since last time I’ve sent you here, so it has been nearly two weeks with no messages or anything as it’s so cool from my side and just found yesterday a message from him saying; “Hi, how are you, I’ve been missing you since you stopped texting me” and continued “how’re you, how’re your days and what re you doing,, let hear from you plz. Take care.. Love you.”

        To be honest, I’ve been busy in some affairs, lately; and I don’t feel like I want to communicate any. So I will not respond him, anyway for some days maybe for a week or more because I am busy besides I really feel low towards him. What shocked me his last msg. So detached/distracted behavior as before two weeks he was excusing me for checking site without msging me and he will explain everything later and left me like lost in the med of road. And now his msg is like nothing happened, or maybe he forgot or want to forget what he said before.(Not sure)

        So as I said, he will not get any responds from me until I finish what I have. But, when I decide to msg him back what should I say? Should I remind him with the previous msg he sent me or just ignore what he said before and start like nothing happened?

        And one more question, what do you interpret from his last message?

        1. Well, it’s good that he’s contacted you so it shows that he’s still interested. As far as him saying “Love you,” I’m not so sure. He hasn’t known you for very long so take that as just words. It’s suspicious to me and I’m a Capricorn, we’re cautious and slow moving by nature, in general. Has he invited you out on a date yet or asked to set up a meeting with you?

          1. No he hasn’t asked me because each one of us living in different country and as I’ve mentioned in my first comment he said he want to meet my family.

            But anyway, it seemed from his last message that he just missed the thrill of the chasing(from my side) – just guessing-. So I won’t respond until I see if he’s really loves and wants me or he just want to chase and to be chased like kids (I am not free for that, to be honest). Let’s see what time will show us.

            Thank you, Jeannie.

  15. Hi, I know met a Capricorn man about 2 and a half years,at that time I was in a relationship.Somehow I cheated on my ex(now)boyfried with him,because we kissed.I felt terrible after,I told my ex about the kiss and the relationship continued,but I couldn t stop thinking of him (Capp guy).Ok,I sholud give some dates,I met the Capp guy on January 2014,at that moment I was in a relationship of 8 months,we kissed and form then I just saw him for 6-8 times (because we go out in the same places).My relationship continued for another 2 and a half years (with ups and downs,but mostly ok) but I coulnd t stop thinking about the Cappy guy through all relationship.Anyway,me and my (ex)boyfriend broke up in the beggining of july this year, 2 weeks after the breakup I started dating my crush.Everything was good, even if most of the time I initiate the invitations, he was sweet and affectionate.After almost 3 months of dating (like 1-2 nights per week) I started the conversation about our relationship,I wanted to clarify things between us.He told me that we are friends with benefits and that hurt me so bad,he knew from the first date that I like him very much and when we were togheter he acted like a boyfriend,protective and sweet.We are very compatible,we talk for hours and have great chemistry and we have great sex.I dreamt about him for years and now I don t know what to do.In our last date he said that if I don t like how it sounds “friends with benefits” we can say that we re dating (but we can see other people too) that s because I suggested to better use the term “dating” (but in my mind “dating” meant not seeing other people).So, he is very afectionate with me,he likes to cuddle,he often kiss my hands and my forehead and we makes passional sex.He also told me that right in this moment he can t promise me nothing,he won t commit now, he said that he should concentare on work.He also suggest that we should stop seeing each other if it is not good for me (it was a question on which I say “yes”).So it has been 2 days from the night when I decide to stop seeing him.My questions now:
    1.I’m a Capricorn girl so when it comes to love I see things in black&white,I either like a man or not,I don’t understand how he can be so caring and affectionate with me and in the same time to not want more?Sometimes I think I’m not good enough for him,i mean he likes me a little ,but he waits for someone better.
    2.Should I wait for something,should I have patience?(because he still want to see me If I’m ok with keeping the things cool,which I’m not)or I should move on?It s there a chance that if I stop chaising him and start acting cool and (almost)always busy to make him intrigued and more interested?
    Sorry for my bad english :p

    1. Hello Capricorn Girl,
      First, realize you are good enough. Please don’t fall victim to that mindset. Know that you deserve the best and when you set your standards and know in your mind what you want and deserve, you’ll get it. I’m a firm believer that a man will treat you the way you teach him to treat you. With that said, it’s only been about 3 months, but one thing is for sure. You know you want to deepen your relationship with him, and for him not to see others. He’s not there just yet. No amount of pulling away from him will force him into deciding to commit to you. He has to figure it out on his own through experience, unfortunately.

      It sounds to me like he’s just not ready yet. Things could have progressed very quickly between you two, from what it sounds like. To make things easier, you could try to pull away from the sexual aspect of your relationship and let him know you’d like to get to know him better. Then focus on building your friendship up and forming a more solid bond, excluding the sex.

      Another option is to accept what he’s said about you being friends with benefits and walk away from this because it’s something you don’t want at this point in your life.

  16. I really like your post. My situation is I met the Cap guy via a best friend’s wedding party. We are both our wedding friend’s friends. We switched number at the wedding. He asked me out for two dates within a week after the wedding party and we had a great and intimacy time with each other. He told me he likes me. I can also felt there was a strong attraction between us. After that, we keep switching text messages. But he is never ask me out for a date again. Every time when the weekend is coming, he will text me and tell me he will need to work during the weekend (as he just joined the company for 2 months) or he has plan to visit friends/family. Now we know each other for about 1 month. I really want to see him. So I went to a event close to his office and text him that I will be at the event close to him. We met and spent for about 1 hour that night and he backed to work afterwords. I also took the initiative and asked him that we should do something together on next Friday (which would be the Aug.19) at the same night. But I am not sure if we can make it. I will probably check with him this week to see if we will get together this Friday.

    I know he is really a hard-working guy and he appreciate his family and friends. But I have no idea how he is thinking of me and us. I am not sure if he is dating with different girls at the same time or not. He told me his last relationship was 2 years ago. He’s been dating. When I told him that I hope he can plan to spend sometime for us. He told me “let’s see how his work situation get improves and let take it easy. ” I have no idea how to deal with this guy. I am feeling so frustrated. I am not sure if I should keep in touch with him, send him text message and ask him how’s his day. I don’t want to easy to give up, as i really really really like him and I can feel him and see the great traits from him. I am not really nagging him or keep messages him. Sometimes, I just wait until he text me first. But it’s being really hard for me to control myself as I a leo.

    1. Hello Bella,
      You’ve known each other for about a month, so at this point I’d just keep it light and friendly. If he’s interested, he’ll ask you out on a date. Since you were the last to initiate a date, I would wait for him to arrange the next one. If he’s consistent in his communication w/ you (without you prompting him) then don’t worry just yet. For now, I’d think of him as a friend that you want to get to know better so there’s no pressure to push anything. See where it goes and keep busy. You’ll need to be patient with him. Rest assured, if he’s interested he’ll keep in touch and be consistent about it.

      1. Sorry I left all short response. Another questions I have are:
        – How long do you think I should keep light and friendly? Shall I set a timeline to this? How long would be your suggestion if he is keep in touch?
        – How if he will only keep text me consistently but not really ask me out? What should I do or interpret his intent?

        After I found your article, I read it and can feel better, every time after I felt frustrated. Your article helped a lot.

        1. Yes, I’d definitely text him. It should be a nice balance, but it shouldn’t be you doing all the work for him. Let him make an effort and show his interest. If he is, he’ll move forward and set something up to see you.

          I’d keep it light and friendly for as long as you feel motivated to (by him). This will let him know you’re interested, and also give him a chance to setup a date.

          “How if he will only keep text me consistently but not really ask me out?” What kind of things is he talking about with you? It’s been a month, Cap men can move slow and/or he could be the shy type, if he’s young.

          1. Really appreciate your response and advice, Jeannie. My friends who heard of this all told me to move on. I can only find what I need and want to hear from you.

            So when he text me, he normally asks “how are you, how was your day”. A couple of time when closing to the weekend, he will tell me he is planning visit friend or family etc. I normally do the same thing when I take initiative text him, I will ask how’s he doing or his day or his work etc. He is not too young, he is in his 30s+.

          2. Okay, he’s in his 30s. That’s good. Keep doing what you’re doing, Bella. Compared to a Leo, yeah he might seem very slow and you may get that feeling like, “what’s taking so long with him.” All I can say is if he’s still reaching out to you (without any prompting from you) then you’re still on the right track. I should make an article on how to get a Capricorn to open up some more, as far as questions to ask, etc. Maybe I’ll write one in the future.

  17. I’ve been with my cap man for 10 months and 4 months ago he asked me to move in. He lost his dad at the same and fell out with his son, not because of me because of his stubbornness. 6 weeks ago his ex wrote to him asking for some personal belongings back and he was adamant due to lies she had told he would not give back. I persuaded him to meet her to sort it out and try to build bridges with son. He came home 2 weeks ago after meeting her very distant and then 3 days ago said he needs space as he doesn’t know how he feels about me. I feel devastated and feel it is all over. Is there a chance.

      1. Hi wondering if you can help me. I’ve liked this Capricorn guy from a distance for a while but never really made a move on him. He works with and is good friends with a very close friend of mine who is like a brother to me. Anyways about 3 months ago I told my friend that I thought he was hot and he must have told the Cap when he was drunk. Flash forward we all went out this Friday together and had some drinks, danced etc. He then came back to mine and my brothers house to stay as it was late. He stayed with me and stuff happened between us. He kept holding me, stoking me and saying how hot I was etc and asking me to kiss him all the time. We basically were up for hours talking and stuff. Then he left as he had to meet other friends the next afternoon but didn’t ask for my number. Anyways it’s been like 3-4 days and he hasn’t contacted me. Do you think this means he doesn’t like me?

        1. He didn’t ask for your number but he knows how to contact you (via your friend). I would wait and let him come to you. I don’t think it means he doesn’t like you although he should be contacting you very soon. If he’s interested, he will.

          1. Hey Sarah. For some reason the comment didn’t show up here, so I’m copying it from the email.

            You wrote, “I hope so although he did ramble on about how it may be a bit weird for my brother although he already gave his blessings earlier in the night. And he also say he never asks out girls earlier in the night too.

            Should I contact him at all? Could only do this through Facebook although I wouldn’t know what to say lol!”

            Yeah, I get you. I’ve been there, too. 🙂 I don’t really see anything wrong with giving him a bit of a nudge of encouragement since he mentioned about it being weird. It sounds like he might need the reassurance.

            You could send him a msg making a funny joke about something, perhaps? After that, the ball is in his court to get this rolling along.

          2. Hi again! So last update I didn’t message him as I knew I would be seeing him soon anyways- it was my brother’s birthday and he was helping organising his work friends so they attended.

            Anyways, when we were out drinking he did try to come over to me and talk a few times, kept trying to give me high fives throughout the night saying well done, etc. Then at the end of the night went to say bye and mentioned he would be in my area doing a bar crawl with his rugby lot the next day. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him after so I saw yeah sure and to message me. He looked like he wanted to kiss me and then went in for the cheek. The bloody cheek! I recon it’s because other people were around but I don’t know.

            The next day he didn’t contact me 🙁 which sucks balls. So shall I leave it or does this sound like one of those shy guys so it’s a waiting game?

          3. Hi Sara,
            It depends on you. You could wait it out since he’s your brother’s friend so at least you have that point of contact. He’s probably thinking that as well and assuming he’ll see you again soon. He DID have the chance to contact you and didn’t so that’s a bit of a let down. Give him some time though, he may work up to it soon.

          4. I agree he did have that chance to and didn’t take it. Probably got really drunk and forgot but still didn’t communicate otherwise. I’ve not been in this situation before so found it a little strange- normally guys are more forward with me. I think I will leave it. Thank you so much for your help ????

  18. Don’t even know where to start from, met my cap guy via social media, he’s quite a public figure, reckoned that’s why he was a bit distance, he had a highly publicised divorce, we have a connection, met up 3ce, sex once and he’s been distant. Takes days to respond to messages, I don’t call as he doesn’t respond, i used to daily send lengthy messages, until he stopped responding, now i send once in a week or two and he gets round to responding sometimes. He can randomly send me a message by 7.30 in the morning, telling me he misses me or inquiring about my wellbeing, i sent him a message that i wanted to spend ny birthday with him, he claimed not to have seen it and apologised. He calls me endearing names and cracks a few jokes but that’s it, we hardly speak! I needed some professional advise about work etc, we agreed to meet at his, I arrived and was in there for barely 15minutes as he was poorly and needed to rest, I let myself out, not sure why he still let me come when he knew I would spend little time with him, he was an hour late by the way even though he responded to my text to acknowledge I was waiting for him, not sure if its a good or bad sign, sent him a message a few days later, requesting to get his opinion on the professional pathway I needed to discuss with him, I mentioned that I wouldn’t mind getting my response via text etc as he seems uncomfortable around me, I said this cause he wanted to high five me the last time we met! I declined and hugged him instead. He got upset at my comment and I apologised. Don’t know if I’ve finally ruined things as I genuinely like him and wish for a proper relationship, he’s been badly hurt in the past but that was 3 years before us, how long will he take to unravel?

    1. Lol, at wanting to high five you. 😀 All I can really say to this is give him some time and let him lead you, meeting up 3x? It’s still very new and I’d take this as lightly as possible because it’s very early. How long have you known him?

      1. Thanks for responding so quickly, like I said, we met on line in February, as I was abroad at that time, we finally got to meet in april for the first time, intimacy was clearly unplanned and I was gutted for weeks after that, he reassured me all was fine, took another month to see him for 15mins! I don’t want to appear needy, so I pull back when he pulls back and let him take the lead most times, we very occasionally chat online, mostly during the weekends as hes an extremely busy person ar work, but never on the phone, my patience is wearing thin, don’t know if he’s interested or not, if to wait for his walls to come down or just move on.

        1. Has he taken you out on any dates? You say “met up 3x and sex once” in your previous post so I’m not sure if that’s what you mean. The thing is, no matter what, I would keep your options open and keep dating others and doing your thing too. Go out, do you. He’s going really slow and won’t be rushed. Whether you have the patience to keep waiting is up to you. It’s been 3 years since his divorce but he might still be healing, no one really knows except for him. The fact that it was so public could make it more difficult for him.

          1. Thanks. Sorry for the confusion, I meant we have met up 3 times and had sex once. No we haven’t been out on dates as he’s really in the public eye and been keeping a low profile since his divorce. Our dinner dates have been at home with maids and servants etc, I’m a one man woman and won’t share my emotions between two men, he’s either in or out. I’m just so confused.

          2. Okay, I feel you now. Three times is not very many and it seems like you’re getting very attached. You don’t need to date other men. Just don’t get yourself overly invested in this man. I know he’s in the public eye, just be sure you’re not settling for less than what you deserve. Keep yourself busy, keep an active social life with friends and keep your options open. Do fun things, spend time w/ family, etc. It’s still very, very soon to tell but in general, he’ll go slow.

            I think the bad part about him going so slow and the timing (waiting so long for him to ask over/on a date) is there’s a risk of you “jumping” whenever he calls you to do something. I’m not saying you do this, it’s just an observation from other posters/my own experience. That’s why I’m saying to keep your options open and keep yourself busy.

          3. Thanks for your advice, I agree I got attached real quick but I will concentrate on other things going forward and see how things play out. You have been very helpful. thanks a lot.

  19. Hello:

    My Capricorn man and I have been in a relationship a few months shy of two years. I am an Aries-very assertive, direct, extroverted and I like to communicate. We are opposite of each other; he would rather sweep our issues under the rug, introverted, dislikes communicating (he says).

    My issue for the past 6 months is the lack of sex we are having, him being uncomfortable with my affection, he chooses not to sleep in the bed with me and we are expecting and his behavior has been distant and lacks support and comfort. I have modified my behavior to match his in the sense that I give him his space, I have worked on my approach to resolving issues, I let a lot of stuff go, I give him more praises and appreciation and I stopped being investigative and decided to trust him. He has tried to be more considerate toward me, nicer and more affection(even though that simply means pecking me once a week and sex maybe 2-3 times per month). I can’t ever get an answer from him to any of my questions and it’s obvious he isn’t in love with me anymore, or am I reading this wrong?

    1. So, if I understand correctly he stopped sleeping with you about 6 months ago and the lack of sex began. When he stopped sleeping in the same bed, the first time, what was his reason for doing this? Did he explain that? Also, how far along are you?

  20. Hi I was looking to get some advice please. 2 months ago I went out for a friends birthday and my group of friends went to her house before we went out, because she was turning 18 she had a few family members, cousins etc, round her house. I hit it off with one of them and he asked for my number and then he texted me 2 days later. He’s a capricorn and since we first met we’ve seen each other twice now and both times he has kissed me and we do have a lot in common. He’s at uni at the moment and in his final year so I know he has deadlines etc and normally we’ll talk maybe every other day. However, he’s going away for 8 weeks soon and i tend to fall for people really quickly and i can tell i’m starting to like him but we’ve never clarified what we think of each other. Is it normal then for a capricorn guy to be quite reserved and not express his true feelings? I’d love for this to work out but how do i get him to basically open up, or does it just take time for them to?

    1. Hi Niamh,
      Yes, he can be reserved and will not be the type to give verbal expressions of his feelings. He’s action oriented and will show you how feels about you via his actions, such as asking you out on dates, doing things for you, etc. Basically, he will show you and not really say it, especially at first and at 2 months, it’s very early in the relationship so he might not be as comfortable revealing anything. Take it day by day and look at the things he does. Is he communicating with you consistently? If he does, this is a good start.

    2. Hi all. I met my cappy exactly year ago. We went for a few dates.,and then for almost a year we did not meet. I tried to keep in touch thru whatsapp. Sometimes he would respond,sometimes he would not. This year when he reappeared,he was facing a few physical,monetary n emotional challenges. I started siddha healing for him. And we met again twice. He said he had benefitted from the healing. And we were talking or exchanging msgs daily,until yesterday. He is neither taking my call nor writing back to my texts. Also everytime i mentioned that i love him and would love to be in a relationship with him,he goes silent. During last one year i had jusy waited for him,bcz i truly love him. I did not date anyother guy. Plz help me,what should i do?

      1. Hi Palu,
        If he’s not responding to your calls or texts then back away from him. You sent him enough messages and now it’s his turn to reciprocate. If he is interested in moving forward with you, he will pursue. Right now he’s not really giving you a reason to keep at it. It’s also possible that you telling him you love him is too soon for him and/or he’s not feeling the same way. Stay busy and keep yourself occupied. I wouldn’t wait around for him. Try to get out and see other guys.

          1. Wait to see if he contacts you. For me, I usually would wait about a week (2 at the max) and if no response I would move on.

  21. I’ve been reading a lot about capricorn men but I could also do with some advice. I can’t decide if he’s just playing with me and relationship is not a priority for him or I should wait it out a bit more. We met at work and I knew from the first time I saw him that he liked me. It took about nine months until via colleagues we actually got to know each other. After that he always tried to invite me out but I politely ignored him for about three months because I wasn’t interested. Then gave in, went for a drink, then dinner etc. He was very shy to kiss me and it happened a few weeks later. He never pushed for sex and waited until I gave the green light. It’s been the same ever since, I don’t feel that he uses me. He had a difficult time at work and had to leave eventually in January. He got a job in another country but it’s only a few hours drive. For many months he was contacting me daily, several times then it got less and less. He still initiates most of the time. We had a few hick-ups, mainly because of my insecurity but also because I find him so distant sometimes. Now he’s in a new job, moving from one country to another so very busy. He said he wanted to stay in touch and he does and we meet sometimes but other weekends he doesn’t contact me at all. He disappears sometimes for a week but so far always reappeared. When I make contact he always responds and is very happy to hear from me. I know that he disappears on friends too and it seems that he meets me even more than some of them but it seems so little to what I’m used to. It also seems that he opens up to me more than to others but he’s still very secretive about his life. He brings me gifts, always a gentleman, when we sleep together he always stays with me the next day, cuddles. He once said that he’d like to make me happy by loving me unconditionally…I’m now waiting for him to settle down and see how it goes but whenever he disappears due to stress I feel so ignored and have doubts. When we’re together I can feel that he likes me (he says it many times). I always get nice compliments from him, nothing sexual (smart, beautiful, strong woman etc.). He told me a few times that if he didn’t think I was intelligent and interesting for him, he wouldn’t spend any of his time with me.
    Shall I hold on and see if it goes somewhere? Does it really take so long for a cap man to commit? Or is it just wrong timing due to his work and some other private problems in the family?

    1. I think long distance relationships can be tough to maintain. Don’t get me wrong, they are do-able but they just take more work to sustain them. When was the last time you saw him? He needs one on one time with you. I’m sort of wondering if his “distance” as you mentioned is just the way he’s always been or is this something new?

      1. I know long distance relationships are more work, I was in it with my ex. The distance now isn’t that long at all and it’s very common in Europe to do it. But regardless of this…I saw him two weeks ago for about an hour when he came to see me when he was driving back to the new country. His disappearance is not new. The first time it happened was when he was moving home here (it was a place that a friend of his rented who moved away and he had to sort things out for him too), then again it happened more when he was going for interviews, prepared a lot and ignored everybody:) But interestingly we spent almost the whole weekend together before he had an interview on Monday morning…he was very attentive towards me during the whole time…I found it strange because his work is of course first and foremost:). Then again during the Christmas break but it was not a complete disappearance, I just noticed that he was not in contact everyday for the second half of the break.
        Anyway I’m kind of giving up and distancing myself from it all now. I have a bad feeling now. Although when I sent him a message earlier this week just to ask how he was (of course very busy) and asked if he wanted me to leave him alone, he replied with a smiley and said that he wants to send his father back home (he’s here to help him move), sort things out in the new place and invest quality time. He doesn’t want to just rush into my Sunday eve for an hour or so. and that a good way to start the quality time would be to go for a weekend in a spa hotel (we’ve been talking about it for a while). It sounded nice but I started to think that he was just saying it instead of saying no.
        He sent me a message again on Friday but that’s the one where I thought it was nothing more than just to see if I still reply, but no real interest.
        I’m not going to contact him anymore, not even asking how he is. I deleted his messages, don’t want to see them anymore. I’m not saying I gave up completely but I want actions now, not words.

        1. I feel like I’ve been played with this whole time and I’m stupid that I believed it for so long…Of course I had doubts but I knew how his life was (some of it) so I thought a man wants to sort out his work first, I also wanted to take it slow too etc. But I think he saw that I’m nice and understanding and he lost interest but played with me nevertheless..Luckily I managed to keep my emotions in check, maybe this is the only thing I learnt from my mistakes with men..and now I’ll completely close down and not let anyone in anymore. Men want bitches and I’m not one of them.

          1. Well, you have to do what’s best for you. If what he’s giving you isn’t enough and his actions are not in line with what he says, then yes, it might be time for you to move on to someone that will be more action oriented and give you what you really need. Put your foot down. At the same time, don’t let this experience with him get you down. Look on the bright side, you’re that much closer to knowing what you really want in a man and the guy for you might be waiting around the corner. If you stop letting people in then you can miss out on the chance to find the person that’s really right for you. It’s the risk we all take.

      2. I absolutley love your article about capricorn men. I found it so funny because it describes mine so well. It’s even more funny that they are all mostly alike. I’ve been in a relationship with my man for 5 of the 6 years I’ve known him. I adore my man so much. He is a very well mannered, well spoken man. We have had so many ups and downs throughout the years. Im used to the disappearing acts but at the same time Im not. Everytime it happens I question his love for me. Im a scorpio by the way. Whenever he goes into hiding I wonder about our whole relationship. Is he cheating, does he not love me, is he not ready, am I doing something wrong? Those are the things that go through my mind. He’s 38 and Im ten years younger. I figured after all this time he would be more serious about us and move towards marriage. Yet we’re still doing the same things we’ve been doing for years. For a couple of months we’re so happy together. Then he disappears for anywhere from a few days to 3 months. I mean not seeing each other, no calls or text. At this point Im used to it. But every single time I wonder is this really it this time? It doesnt have to be a fight or anything wrong for this to happen either. We are going on a month now. He’s missed some very importants things I feel no matter what he should have been there like my surgery. As the years go by I grow to love him more and more Im just fed up now. It seems a bit childish to me. I’ve been texting and calling like crazy! Today i said no more its whatever. I cant let go of him though. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but how am I supposed to deal with this lol. Its really frustrating and I just needed to vent.

        1. Hi Nova,
          Thanks for commenting! I’m very glad you enjoyed the article. 🙂 We all need to vent every once in awhile, it’s normal. The thing that stands out the most for me is the disappearing for 3 months. For me personally, I have a limit and mine is about a wk, 2 max. and that’s after a big argument. That’s my RULE and after that I just start to check out emotionally. I have to ask, what happens that makes him disappear for 3 months? If I understand you correctly, does one of you text and then the other just doesn’t respond and then the count down starts? Who usually initiates after the long disappearance?

          1. Sometimes it’s and argument that leads to him ignoring me. Other times it’s for no reason at all! Then I would text and call like crazy for about 2 weeks. Once I don’t get a response I’ll just stop everything. About a week or so later he’ll start to call and things will pick back up as if nothing happened. This time it’s been 3 weeks of him not responding. I mean not one word. I text him a week ago and asked were we done and he said yes. I left it as that and didnt contact him. Exactly five days later he calls me for sex. I’m very confused now. I’m a Scorpio if I didn’t mention before. I love hard and am very serious about relationships. I really really love him but I’m not gonna persue him knowing he broke up with me. I told him I can’t be friends or sex partners because I’m still in love with him. I don’t think he’s ready for me to be completely out of his life but he doesn’t want a serious relationship. But why commit to it and stay around for 7 years? Very confusing and frustrating.

          2. I think it can go on for as long as you are willing to put up with the behavior. “Exactly five days later he calls me for sex.” What happens when he does this? Do you tell him no?
            It seems like all the coming and going has suited him just fine all these years. I think you just need to ask yourself where you see yourself in 5, 10, 15+ years and draw the line on what you want in your life. Going no contact and ignoring you for 2 wks without responding at all, to me, is just disrespectful. It sounds like he’s in it for this long because you are too and you appear (in his eyes) to be fine with him coming and going like that.

  22. Hi again its Batty
    He still havent call or text but somethings happend ,, a week ago he snapchat on story a picture of him self looking really skinny and tired and he wrote (on call again and again) he was on call in the hospital,, I didn’t comment its like i didnt see anything.. I snapchat also like daily things like video of my little niece or cup of coffee he saw those snaps and immediately gave me a block on snap !!! I was hurt and couldn’t believe it ,, usually I’ll go running asking him why did u do this?! But i didnt because I stopped talking to him for a mnoth now but keep in mind the last thing I texted him was ( how are u baby ) and he answered (im fine how are you) i said ( fine) and thats it , I decided to stop and give him the space he wanted . Hoping he will cone back . Than i got shocked with the snapchat block , and than my girlfriend told me he is trying to make u angry so u would talk to him first , and than she said expect that he will remove the last seen on whatsapp because its something would make me angry and I told him before i like to see the time of ur whatsapp . And indeed thats what happend 2 days later he removed the last seen on whatsapp . I felt like he is trying to make me angry so i start talking to him . Now its been a week since all of that happend and still nothing happened:( I didnt do anything wrong im just waiting silently hoping for him to get back . He havent block me from Twitter or whatsapp or instgram . Just snapchat . That gives me hope a little that he isnt breaking up with me 🙁
    What do you think ?

      1. If You mean how long our relationship is ?! Its been 3 years . If you mean since this happend I stopped all contacts for almost a month now . The last thing I text was ( how are you baby ? He replied Im fine , how are you ? I text back Im fine ) those wear the last texts between us .

        1. A month is a long time to not speak. I think your friend is right, I’m not sure if he purposefully wanted to anger you, but it seems like he wants your attention. Did anything else happen that you can think of that would cause his distance? It seems like something else is missing. Either way, even if a Cap may want to reach out badly, his stubbornness might be keep him from doing so.

          You said, “But i didnt because I stopped talking to him for a mnoth now but keep in mind the last thing I texted him was ( how are u baby ) and he answered (im fine how are you) i said ( fine) and thats it.”

          If you decide to reach out to him again, I’d use open ended questions to keep the conversation going. It seems like it just died right after that because you didn’t really engage him. If you say, “I’m fine.” It’s great because it’s a response, but it’s not encouraging to him. He may need something extra to be a bit more open to chatting. Something like, “I’m fine too, tell me about your day? How did it go?” might help open him up more and encourage him to share.

          Remember, a lot of Caps (although they may not appear so) require encouragement. If he doesn’t want to talk about his day (since he’s going through a rough time) then ask about something else you know he’ll really enjoy and help him relax and forget the bad stuff.

          1. Hi Jeannie
            Its me Batty
            I hope you’ll re-read my last few messages so u can remeber my story
            Now its been 4 months and nothing from both sides, he hasn’t contacted me whats so ever and I haven’t either, but what I noticed is that he posted a pic of him self on whatsapp and that’s something new because he never post a pic on whatsapp of him or any other pic ,, and I asked him about it many times before and his reply (I dont like to post my pic on whatsapp) and thats for our entire 3 year relationship. Anyway he looks so thin like sick thin ,, and still he never deleted me from Twitter or whatsapp or instagram . Im not planning to reach out to him because i feel he should come back and initiat the first move. My question is do u think he will cone back after what I told you ? Do you think there is hope?

          2. Hi Batty,
            Yes, I remember your story. 4 whole months? That’s a long time to be out of contact. The thing is, I think it’s possible he’s hoping that you will contact him. If I were you though, I wouldn’t do it. Let him come to you.

  23. Hi
    I’ve been having a hard time now for almost a month because of my cappy man , first of all we been together for 3 years deeply in love ,even though we live in different cities but its working for us , he is a fresh Doctor this year and at the beginning he started in OCU and got depressed at the beginning and slowly it became a problem his moods swings was unreal he would talk to me happy and normal one day and upset and cranky the next 3 days , i tried to be understanding and excuse him for 3 months till one day he asked my permission to go on a vacation with his brothers for 5 days after this work pressure and hard time he’s been having and of coures lovingly I said yes and i was so surprised how wonderful his treatment to me while he was away texting me alot and saying (i live you) constantly, i was so happy he was geeting back to his old self he even bought me gifts , that day he came back home he called me saying he arraived safely and said love you , and asked to call him to wake him up to go to work( a habit of ours ) so i called he never answered i guessed he was sleep, till later that night i texted him how are you he said he is sick and having a migraine ( he constantly gets migraines) so later i said call me he said few minutes love I’m having dinner . He never called till the next day i was so worried then he texted me saying (im upset and I don’t want to talk ) i said whats wrong he said i dont want to talk about it !! So ever since that day till now we are not talking, of coures i went crazy and called many many times he would never answer and later would text im sleeping otlrvat work . Than i said (ok love do you want me to not pressure you and take ur time) he said ( yes im under alot of pressure) i said as you like , then after that with 2 days i texted him ( how are you babe ) he texted back ( im fine , how are you) i said ( im fine) and from that till now its been 11 days i stopped texting and calling hoping he will call or text . I’ve always known him to be very loyal and committed man , both of us love each other so much . And now im confused and waiting . I think about his depression and how did it start with his job , i think about how he changed to be happy and in a good mood when he went in a vacation and back to be depressed as soon as he came back home . I dont know what to do now 🙁 one thing happend while i stooped calling and texting , he opend my snapchat story . He never opend snapchat ever he pulled away , so i guess that might be something good that he start to miss me or whatever.
    What do tou think?

    1. Hi Batty,
      It sounds like he’s under an enormous amount of pressure and stress from work. He’s a new Dr. and still trying to get used to the rigorous schedule of what his career demands. Whenever he says he doesn’t want to talk about something, just let him know you understand and are there for him when he’s ready or needs to talk. Some things are just too close to home and hard to verbalize when they happen. Later on, he may want to re-visit whatever it was and share when he’s further removed from the situation and feels safe to talk.

      It really sounds like pressure from work is weighing him down a lot. You said he was great and back to himself while on vacation? This tough spot will eventually pass. I think all you can do is be supportive and remind him how much you love him, how proud you are of him, what a hard working individual he is, etc. He might appreciate the support when he’s going through those dark moments. He most likely really needs the emotional encouragement. Just keep doing what you’re doing, you sound like you already are very in-tune with him.

      Send him a little nudge via text message, maybe a funny joke that’ll make him laugh and a little note saying hi. That’ll probably get him to respond.

  24. I’ve been in a relationship with a Capricorn man for 8 months. I was introduced to his mum and relatives some months ago when he invited me to his mum’s 70th birthday party. Since then we have had 2 holidays abroad, the 2nd one his mum and aunt came with us. In the beginning of the relationship he rang and text me all the time, his texts were very flirty and it was that he couldn’t get enough of me. It’s worth saying at this point, we live 125 miles apart, I live on my own and he is back living at his mum’s after his last relationship ended a year ago. He’s not happy there but at the moment does not have the finances to move out, he works full time as do I and we work for the same company, which is how we got together. He would ring me and we instantly hit it off but never acted on it as we were both in a relationship until late last year. After the 2nd holiday, he became a little distant. I put it down to the added strain for him on holiday as he didn’t get a break from his mum and aunt. When I say distant, the messages didn’t stop but there was a change in them and he would still ring me although not every day. After a couple of weeks I asked him if I had done anything wrong, his reply was “not at all” so I asked why he was being distant with me, he said he was having a bit of time to himself and asked if that was ok. At that point my heart stopped, what could I say? I said of course not but that I hope he comes back to me, he said “of course I will” and never said it was over and continued to ring and message me although not as much. At this point I read men are from mars and women are from Venus, and some sections over and over. I also looked at quotes about Capricorn men to get an understanding of him, and I found your advice which I still read every day to stop me from cracking up and thinking I’ve done something wrong. I took your advice and have given him the space he obviously wants and needs and I am letting him do all the chasing. I have to say so far it’s working, although he’s not really texting me as much but he rings me every day near enough, sometimes more than once, at work and on his drive home.
    Because of the distance and we have our own friends we only get to see each every 4-5 weeks. When I see him we have a fab time, I spend time with his mum and aunt whilst he’s working then we have time together when he’s finished. I no longer ask when I’m going to see him, he is in the driving seat in the relationship. It’s worth mentioning actually on the 2nd holiday, we had gone back to the same place as the first as as we made some friends who live and work there. Our friend asked us whether our situation had changed I.e.had we told work about us and were we together. We said not but I said that I would move down to him so we could give our relationship a proper chance. I know now that it was the wrong thing to say as it put him on the spot. But I said it and I couldn’t retract it, which is why I thought I had messed up.
    He told me at the very beginning that he doesn’t share emotions, he has them but keeps them to himself, which I now know is a Capricorn trait. I find this frustrating but again taken your advice and mirrored him. I no longer talk about my feelings to him although it drives me crazy at times. The only time I do is when I come home from seeing him, I let him know I’ve arrived home and that I enjoyed our time together and that it gets harder for me to leave each time. Apart from that, I no longer say anything which is not how I’m feeling…I know us women like to talk about such things.
    Recently a position in our company has become available and it would be based in the same offices as me, he’s expressed an interest but I know its just not the right job for him but have not said that to him, he’s not applied for it but did say that he might as well move to where I live as he feels he has nothing where he lives anymore. I didn’t say anything at this point….What I wanted to say was yes move here, move in with me as we had joked about this some months ago when a different position became available. In hindsight was he testing me???
    He’s asked me what I’m doing for Christmas and I have not made any plans as I was hoping to spend Christmas and New Year with him, which I have now told him. We have not yet made an definate plans, but it was only tonight’s conversation.
    I guess what I need advice on and I’m coming to you as my friends don’t take into consideration he is a typical Capricorn is, how do I know how he really feels about me? I fell for him hook line and sinker and don’t want to mess anything up but I feel as though I dont want to waste my time if he doesn’t want anything more with me either. You say that cap men need time but no one knows how long that will be? we are both in our 40s and are mature, responsible adults. I want to see him more frequently and want us to have more than a long distance relationship but I’m reluctant to say anything more to him. I know he was hurt from past relationships and has to trust me. We don’t get to our age without some hurt I have to. I have given him no reason whatsoever not to trust me, I don’t ignore him, I’ve supported him through difficult times at work, I get on very well with his mum, he’s happy for me to spend time with his mum. I do everything you say. How will I know when the right time is to talk about the future? There has to be a point when relationships take the next step. I’m not necessarily saying we move in together but at least live in the same town. I have no idea what his agenda is. Help me please 🙂

    1. Well, I think the flirty and playfulness in the beginning is quite normal. Then as the relationship progresses it gets more and more serious, Caps spend time thinking and reflecting about what the next step is. Where will it progress? Where is it going? Do you share the same values, are you supportive of each other? Things like that.

      I don’t want to say he was testing you when he mentioned moving closer to take the job, but I will say that Caps can be insecure, so he probably was trying to prompt you for some kind of feedback. I mean, everyone has their share of insecurities and need a bit of encouragement, right? Ultimately, he’ll do what’s best for him, but I think he might want some encouragement that you’d enjoy having him closer.

      That’s just my opinion. I know you say you don’t think it’s the right job for him, but who’s to say he won’t find something better once he’s there? At the very least, it’s a step in the RIGHT direction.

  25. I’m a 36 yr old Scorpio girl and I met my 40 yr old Cap guy 7 months ago on a dating site. We talked for 6 weeks with really long messages and built up such a bond and connection. We met in person, hit it off instantly and became exclusive. He was everything I was looking for.

    I work shifts and we live 45 mins apart, so seeing each other like “normal couples”, wasnt quite as easy/often. For the first 4 months we saw each other (staying over at each others places) every, or every other weekend. He had been single for 5 years before me and had never lived with a girlfriend, so we both thought this arrangement was ok for him and the space he’d been used to. I wanted to see him more but I was happy to go slow. When we didnt see each other, we’d text a few times a day. Things were good. I was happy.

    But gradually the frequency of the messages slowed to sometimes once a day. Keeping the connection going was difficult. We spoke about it and he said he didnt really like texting and wasnt keen on phone chats either (most men arent, in my experience).

    We spent a week off together in Oct/Sept which was great. During our that time, he said he was frustrated that he wasnt seeing me more and said “I just want to be with you”. I was pleased, and we worked out a plan to see each other more often. We then spent a week apart, with the plan starting after that. But as it was due to start – with him coming to me – he blew me off, saying he didnt feel great and wanted time to himself. I left him to it and didnt contact him much. There was nothing from him like “I’m not coming, but i’ll see you next whenever” or anything. It was pretty much “sorry but i’m not coming”.

    I decided (without discussing it with him) to continue with the plan when I was due to go to him. On that day, i just said I was coming and suggested the cinema. He didnt say no. I thought it was important to go ahead with the plan since he wanted to see me more. I went to his place 6 times in 9 days, as per the plan. I loved it and I had no indication he had a problem. The weekend after that that he was due to come to me – he blew me off again saying he was unwell.
    We spoke on the phone the next day and he said he had initially thought he wanted to see me more but then having been doing that, he realised it was too soon and wanted to step back by seeing each other less often, although not as little as before. He also said its not a reflection on me/the relationship, but how he has been used to so much space for so long. I asked why he never indicated in person when I was with him that there was a problem. He said he was just being polite. I reluctantly said I was ok with going back to seeing each other less, so long as the communication in between improved as that was still a problem for me. It did improve a lot, but only for a week.

    I get so confused by him. In person he is so affectionate, loving and tactile. We can talk about our deepest, darkest thoughts together and he admitted I am so easy to talk to and has told me things he’s never told anyone else. In front of his friends he was so great with me – involving me in their conversations and being tactile with me. I’ve also met his brother (both parents deceased). He’s met my parents (he was pretty eager to meet them). We plan to spend Christmas together and last month he put in loads of effort for my birthday.

    But I think i may be on a losing battle here. I want to try though. I am in love with him, but pretty much every day when I’m not with him i am disappointed in his lack of communication which results in a feeling of lack of connection and support. Thats so important to me. I could get used to the frequency of texting though, so long as everything else was ok. But right now I dont feel it is. Its his turn to come to me this weekend. He hasnt been back to mine yet since the times he’s blown me off. I’m nervous as to whether or not the same will happen again, and i’ve told him that. But he hasnt done much to reassure me.

    If he would just start coming to mine again, I would feel much more reassured.

    What can i do? I know Capricorn men need space, and are sensitive and guarded. I want to make it work but he needs to do the same.

    1. Hi Cheese,
      Sorry for the late response on this. Well, he definitely needs to reciprocate here. It can’t just be you visiting him all the time. It needs to be shared. It sounds like he’s being very passive. If he really misses you then he should be putting in the effort. When men put in the work, they can grow more attached and learn to appreciate you more. Why? Because he’s working harder to keep your love and to keep you happy, he’s investing in you (his time is an investment). Next time he says he’s sick and can’t visit you, I’d back away. Don’t visit him until he comes to see you.

      He needs to step it up but he can’t do that if you’re the one doing most of the work. This will also show you how interested he really is. If he is he will keep in contact and break out of the passive behavior he’s showing now.

  26. I met this guy (Capricorn) online about 7 months ago and we spoke for a while then he went quiet, we never got to meeting, I gave up with making all the first messages, he didn’t seem interested so we didn’t speak for a long time and then about 1/2 months ago we matched again online and started talking again, the entire time I’ve been the one that sends the first messages (I havnt smothered) but he has been very difficult to get interested, eventually I managed to get a lot more of his attention & he gave me a lot of his time, occasionally messaged first etc and he asked me out… We went on a date and there was instant attraction, we were laughing the entire time, he complimented me and we got way too drunk & we kissed loads (he made the first move) & we were holding hands etc was very intense for a first date but it was the alcohol, we both got seriously drunk. (Was a mistake) no sex or anything tho I went home but yea it was intense, Anyway since then we spoke briefly the day after he said he was feeling very anxious, kept bringing up he felt anxious but wouldn’t say why, he also said he is someone that over analyses everything which doesn’t help with his anxiety…
    Anyway after speaking the day after & he was saying that, he didn’t reply to my last message and now it’s been like 6 days and still nothing… We spoke almost everyday before and now I’m really confused as to what to do, I’m giving him space but I don’t know wether to just give up or not, If it was any other guy I would take it that he’s not interested.. But because he’s always been this way and he’s done these quiet no replying patches before & then suddenly interested & wants to go out I’m wondering if he is interested but he’s just needing space or waiting to see my reaction to him going quiet again even after having what I thought was a great date, if he likes to over analyse etc? Literally just have no idea and don’t know wether to give up or not.. I am patient and can wait but I need to know if he is interested but he just shows me nothing!
    Help, thank you xx

  27. So I am a libra/Scorpio cusp, and I met this Cappy back in March. At first, he was flirty and all over me, calling and texting (although he did tell me texting wasn’t his thing). We had sex after about a month, and then he started to pull back. I don’t like to be the one to always initiate so I started to pull back too. We had 5 dates after that, 3 of which ended in sex. He had a preplanned trip out of state to visit his daughter, and he asked me to take him to the airport. He was then gone for 2 months during which time we had occasional texts (initiated by me) and occasional social media contact. I ended up pushing my feelings away and effectively stopped communicating with him 3 weeks ago. Last week, he came back and started texting me and calling me and in general trying to be around me. I kind of blew him off but finally saw him and we were intimate. I’ve seen him 2x in the week he’s been back, he even met my kiddos and did lots of home repairs for me. He is going through a transition now and decided to move away back to his daughter for the moment, but has been consistently talking about me coming to visit. He seems way more open with me this time around. Today he seemed to pull back in communication though. I know Capricorn men need to get themselves together and thus they are less communicative when they are doing so. My question is is he even serious about a future with me? Is it even worth it to let my feelings build? Especially when we don’t even have a true commitment? Should I just leave it all alone as a beautiful fling and move on?

    1. Hi Ury, thanks for commenting! I’d say to take it day by day. No, you don’t really have a commitment yet but him doing home repairs and helping you around the house sounds promising to me. Caps show love/affection through actions. At the same time, he’s moving away so who really knows what can happen. Long distance relationships can be a bit tough to keep up but it’s not impossible. I would keep an open mind and let him lead you. If he’s going to be moving, let him bring up what the next step will be. And think about yourself as well, is this something you are up for? Sometimes, it’s good to keep the feelings light and easy. Or as you said, to think about it as a “beautiful fling” and just see where it goes.

  28. I’m an Aquarius & met my Cap almost 2 years ago. We hit it off instantly. Lots of flirting and fun. He always stares at me from across the room and will make sure to touch me somehow. We’ll be standing next to each other and he will literally lean against me. We’ve gone out, not officially on dates, several times. I actually like the slow pace because I’m very slow to commit as well. A tragedy happened in my life and he was the first one there for me. And continues to be an incredible support to me. Our relationship deepened but we never confessed our feelings. We did tell each other that we thought the other was really great. I’ve been there for him too, did sweet things for him, but it’s always ME doing it for him. Although he will do things to help me. Reading this blog I see now that I should let HIM do the chasing. He is always talking about wanting kids. Lately, his friends are all getting married, the two of us have been baby sitting infants. He gives me this smile like I’m the most beautiful thing ever, that THIS is what he’s been waiting for. And maybe he’s having a mid-life crisis because all of a sudden, he’s pulled away. He told some friends that he’s smitten with another girl, he won’t text me back for hours or the next day (which I know he very well could be busy). I saw him yesterday and saw he had a hickey on his neck. He’s been condescending. But then, flips like a light switch and will be really sweet and loving and supportive and gives me this smile that just melts me. I’ve decided to back off. Give him space. I’m really confused about this girl he just met, maybe he got scared with me? I do really care about him and I really don’t want to lose his friendship.

    1. Hi L,
      Thank you for commenting. It is tough because what it sounds like to me is that you’re good friends. Has he ever made any kind of romantic gestures?

  29. I met my cap I guess ex new years (2015). He had just gotten out of a bad relationship of 3 years before we met almost 3 months before we met. It started kind of fast i met some of his family and he called to check in when he traveled, told me i was sexy, beautiful, etc all the time. He disappeared one time for 5 days but texted me once that he was thinking about me he was having some work and family stress. One time he met up with his ex at the dog park because she owed him money for the house they rented together and to see a dog but he didn’t tell me about it until after which is kind of an issue but he told me and said i was his and he was mine and he liked me so much. Then a few weeks later he calls me and tells me we shouldn’t see each other anymore and that the relationship at this point was getting more serious and he couldn’t be in a serious relationship. I was in shock on the phone and then kind of reacted emotionally from being so blindsided in text messages. He said he is sorry he hurt me but he thought it was best for both of us because he has to sort out his family and work before dragging someone else through his problems. Then he said he didn’t see me or anyone in his life and then he said he was scared we started sharing things but he always shares so its confusing i pretty much got 3 different answers. I waited a month and texted him that i understood things moved fast and it was overwhelming he then tried to come over but i was out of town. A month later i drunk texted him one time (moment of weakness) about sex but he was out of town for work we then talked again everyday for over a month like nothing happened and then he came home and we saw each other didn’t talk about anything and then he went out of town again and he told me he had to go (like checking in) and then when he came back he initiated to hangout again. We still had not discussed anything yet i was waiting to see if he came around and it seemed like he was but that morning during our 2nd hangout i made a joke and he made a comment about “another damaged woman caused by me” and i said don’t be such a drama king to shut down that thinking and everything seemed okay and then i didn’t hear from him for a week. so i sent him a long message telling him i wanted to address his comment that he’s not damaging me or makes me unhappy and I’m a different girl, i look different, act and react different and that i like him the way he is but it stresses me out not knowing if I’m going to see him or hear from him again and that i care about him and feels like he cares about me but pushes me away because he thinks he’ll damage me and its dumb he said theres nothing i can say to make this better and we haven’t spoken since its been 3 weeks.

    I regret my message because i think i should of let him come around a little more but when i saw him he was sharing and smothering me in bed being on my pillow and trying to hold hands sleeping so its very confusing. I knew sending that message would push him away but i thought i was helping by telling him it bugs me he says that because he doesn’t damage me. I think his ex still tries to talk to him because its been a year and she still says boohoo stuff on social media. I know i need to just give space and move on but its hard since this time he just stopped talking he didn’t say it was done.

    I just don’t understand how he can take me to some of his family, tell them he met a girl on the phone to people, tells me the passenger seat in the jeep he got is my spot, how hot i am, and when he disappeared for 5 days and we talked about it he tells me he wants to be with me and asked if i want him and i said yes and then breaks up with me 4 days later. Then talks to me again for a month and disappears but most likely won’t speak to me and just doesn’t talk to me unless i initiate which i haven’t this time after my message. I feel like the ex sends him stuff and i want to ask but there is no point since we are not together and he won’t talk to me like he did before he use to communicate. He always said i wasn’t the rebound but i just feel like i was which is difficult when you start to care.


    1. Hi Lin,
      Thanks for commenting. He said, “There’s nothing i can say to make this better.” I realize that this is difficult. It’s almost like he wants you to convince HIM as to why he should continue or stay with you. This is not a good position to be in, Lin. In my opinion, it’s not a position any woman should be in and settle for. This man should be calling you consistently, taking you out and definitely not pulling away for months at a time.
      It doesn’t sound like he has his personal life together and he’s probably right when he says you can’t make it better. It sounds like he needs to work on himself before he can commit to someone.
      Plus, he’s just come out of a long relationship. He doesn’t sound ready.

      1. He said he can’t make it better not me. I just don’t understand why he took me to family and said he wanted to be with me and communicated that we both did and then i had no idea anything was wrong before he ended it and i feel like his ex sends him stuff saying she is ruined or something but she broke up with him all the time. Based on her social media she still mentions him even though they have no social media contact. I thought caps were emotional so its hard to accept because when i saw him recently after we talked again for over a month he held me super closely, laid on my pillow smothering me, and reaching his hand under my pillow to hold my hand and sharing and talking to me. It’s hard to explain but i just don’t get how you can be like with someone and not care. So i just regret letting myself get involved making myself the rebound because i feel like it had potential and now its ruined because i sent him a message after seeing him a few weeks ago.

        1. I guess i get mad because i had these concerns about being the rebound and he said that he was done with that and he likes me so much and I’m his and he’s mine and so its confusing because he actually wanted to talk about it when i didn’t to reassure me and then all of sudden he’s scared etc. And i heard his phone go off late right before he ended it but he was asleep and I’m not the type to check but i feel like the ex does end him stuff but i never asked. i mean its been a year for them apart so idk if she is doing something.

          1. also did i ruin things with my message telling him that I’m a different person and look, act, react different. that issues someone else had might not even be issues for me and that i like him and the way he is and its annoying and stressful not knowing if ill ever see from or hear from him again and that i care about him and we have obviously have a connection and he’s a great guy and i feel like he cares but pushes me away. I’m wondering if i just made it worse for myself? could he ever come back or is done and he will figure himself out but move forward by meeting someone else and not going back to his rebound?

          2. I don’t think you’ve ruined things at all. He just needs some time to get himself together. I think, for now, all you can do is step back and let him have that space to sort it all out. He may contact you in the distant future, especially if things ended on good terms.

          3. Thank you this is helpful. Will he see it as good terms? I’m somewhat embarrassed for sharing my feelings the first time but i was so blindsided since we both said we wanted to be together. I should of respected what he wanted to work on himself but i would check in on him sometimes and after his grandma died. And then we talked again and he was so loving and sharing it confused me. And then when i didn’t hear from him for a week i texted him that because i didn’t want him to feel like he ruins women because of this girl who has her own issues. so i texted him to address that and let him know thats not me and that i care about him and don’t want him to think like that about me. And his response to making it better was the last I heard from and it’s been 3 weeks. I’m not sure if his some of his family liked me I didn’t spend much time with them but I’m worried they don’t and he cares what they think a lot.

          4. Also his best friend is my best guy friend from college that is how we met and we both spoke to this friend when it ended. I called him to ask what happened and see if had some insight about it and explained some details and now i’m paranoid for speaking to my friend because sometimes my cap when were together would ask our friend if we had spoken telling him he liked me and stuff and wanted to see if i said anything which i never did until we broke up. But i don’t want him to get mad i spoke to him and not trust me when i feel like he’s the one being untrustworthy going to the dog park to get a rent check and see his ex dog and telling me he wanted to be with me when he didn’t but i doubt he would see it that way he would just think ill tell our friend our business.

          5. Well, Caps can be really private and guarded. It doesn’t sound like anything bad was said, though. If the guy is your best guy friend and you trust him then I wouldn’t really worry too much about it. You let him know you care about him and that was leaving it on good terms, IMO. It sort of leaves the door open.

          6. Okay. I thought caps were controlling and possessive so if he was deleted he might freak out or something but I wasn’t sure or act like he doesn’t care at all even though he seems to be struggling with the online. I figured it could it go either way.

          7. Yes, Caps can be those things and he might wonder why, but you’re not his girlfriend and he has no right to know what’s going on in your life if you don’t want him to.

        2. I want to trust my friend but I felt I put him in the middle so I’m not sure what he will say if my cap ever ask him which is what I worry about but I can’t control it so I stress over it. However he told my friend that he got scared because we started talking feelings and it was bound to end anyway so he wanted to do it now and not hurt me because I’m cool. but then when we saw each other recently it was like nothing happened and he was sharing, having me read emails between him and a coworker he has a problem with, checking in when he had to go out of town (this was all recent) so i thought he had space and missed me and was coming back around after getting his space but now i feel naive for thinking that because he made himself distant again.

          1. Well, it could be that the feelings talk came too soon, but everyone is different. That’s not a reason to get scared or shy away from someone. If anything, he ended it before it got too intense, which is better for you in the long run. Don’t worry and stress about your friend. You’re right, you can’t control it. Whatever happens will happen, but I think it’s fine.

          2. My friend told me yesterday the ex girlfriend has been asking him to come back and the chances of them getting back together and he told her zero chances and was mean to her apparently i do not have any details. But he isn’t speaking to me. How long do Capricorns not contact for? I feel like I never mattered enough for long term because it was 2 months before we spoke again which I initiated and he stopped again and now its been a month since we have not spoken. I feel like that is a pretty long time. I feel like he doesn’t miss me or want me ever. I understand moving on without any answers or closure, but it is just confusing if i took us talking and hanging out as him coming around and he thought it was just a hookup but how could he think it would just be a hookup and he is not the type. So he doesn’t want the ex but it confuses me because he doesn’t talk to me and won’t be mean to me and keeps me on his Facebook when he is private with like only family and 2 friends and me. His ex is not on his Facebook. he deleted it and got a new one before we met.

          3. Where would that leave me. He didn’t end it again like last time he just disappeared. But I do not want to be hopeful either. I do not know if there is a difference in him telling his ex zero chance and with me not saying anything or being harsh to me like he was with her.

          4. Caps can be very harsh and hurtful when they’ve reached their breaking point. He probably tried being nice over and over again to her but she didn’t want to let go and kept pursuing him. Just a hunch.

            If I were you, I would not wait for him. Move on and live your life and be happy. He’s the one that’s missing out by letting you go.

          5. I feel as if I have contacted him before as well but he’s never been harsh or anything we talked again and hangout but he just disappeared this time. I don’t see why he came around again for month and acted boyfriendish and then this time he didn’t break it off or anything he just disappeared. i don’t know if there is a difference with me then with her. Is he not saying anything because he doesn’t know with me yet?

          6. I don’t know, Linda. But let me tell you one thing, if a man is okay with parting ways and not contacting you for weeks at a time, he’s not as interested as he should be. You really do deserve better. It’s not fair for him to think you’d wait around. After all, there are great men out there that are ready and waiting and searching for a good lady to be with.

            Even if he’s uncertain/unsure or confused as to what to do and seems to be dragging his feet, this (for me) is a big sign that he’s just not ready for a relationship at this moment in his life.

          7. So I asked a bunch of questions before. So he did come back in september. He said he wanted to talk we met up and he said he was in a really bad place with stuff when we met and that he missed me and wanted to work on himself to be with me. I knew he hadnt been with anyone else and he had been working and got a house. So i decided to give it a real shot this time since my feelings were still there. Things were good we seemed closer but then he got busy with work one week and i got nervous he reminded me of before that he was about to bail when i thought he choose me especially after the ex kept trying to get back to him. instead of talking to him about needing some reassurance i left his house one morning and then felt bad and called him to apologize for abruptly leaving but that the lately it felt more like a booty call and everything is on his terms. He didn’t take what i did very well and it created him being pretty mean on the phone saying i reminded him of the ex the way i just walked and called 5 minutes later and i said i just get scared i don’t know where i stand with you and he said don’t hold your breathe but then was all i like you a lot you make me happy so i thought okay he’s mad let him cool off i apologized saying i had no idea me going home would affect him like that and how sorry and it wouldn’t happen again we are still learning these things we’ve never had a fight. But i guess that phone call was him ending it again but i just thought it was a fight. We spoke in a person a week later because i pushed for it because last time he just disappeared. In person he was a lot meaner. But i wanted to go stand up for myself so i told him hey you’re comparing me to your ex and that sucks and you treat me how she treated you and its not okay. then he said he bails its what he does and does this back and forth and i was confused how his opinion of wanting to be with me and work on himself changed in a matter of minutes. he said he’s checked out and wouldn’t be into anymore and we should move on separately but then he would like entertain our convo with what if i freak out again what do we do and say we do this we talk like we are now this is good. and he was just like i don’t have answers and nah I’m too stubborn. i just want to be alone and work. there is probably more detail but i feel like I’ve already written a lot. I said its confusing you leave the door open and i don’t understand and he said i won’t bother you. and i said so we like each other a lot and make each other happy but you want to bail because you think something might or might not happen down the line. that doesn’t make sense to me. How can he just not want me anymore and use one thing i did as an excuse to bail and make me feel like i had it coming for what i did when he said he wanted to be together.

          8. It sounds to me like he’s trying to assert some control in the situation. By telling you that he’s bailed out before and “nah I’m too stubborn” is really a warning to you. He’s not invested at all in this. Whether you want to proceed or not is up to you. In a way, this is to see if you’ll accept scraps and bad behavior from him. Like you said, it’s just an excuse to end things and he’s not as invested as he should be. He sounds like he has a lot more work to do on himself. I would proceed with caution.

          9. I’m not sure how to proceed in any matter of being with him he broke it off again. It is just confusing i thought him coming back was him wanting to be with me and he still wasn’t very clear in the garage but he did talk to me in person this time. And he said he didn’t know what he wants and to me thats annoying to hear. Why would you come back then and then be mean about it and let a fight blow up to bail. and i stood up for myself and he said he wouldn’t bother me again and that he wants to be alone and blah blah and we haven’t spoken in weeks. I thought he would process what i was saying but he didn’t. Before he at least felt bad and said he was sorry when breaking up this was very mean and i didn’t even know we broke up for the whole week i thought we were in our first fight. We’ve been doing this for a year. it doesn’t seem like he will process how i feel or what i said and be back he said it wouldn’t do it again but it always hard to tell with him because he gets in this moods. so i feel like there are some similarities to last time but this time was in person and him saying lets move on separately and being pretty cold which he’s never treated me that way ever he only treated the ex that way which i reminded him of one time but i over apologized for getting nervous and leaving. he’s pretty tough and i know he doesn’t hook up with other girls but i don’t understand why he did this again when he wants to change himself to be with me and then opportunity comes for him to reassure me and he bails.

          10. I went to what i thought was make up from a fight or get closer if it was a break up and needed to stand up for myself in person but it still didn’t feel like closure even though he acted like it was he wasn’t really saying anything just like i don’t know why i do this i bail and do this back and forth and its going to keep hurting you and i don’t want to do that. and he would just say stuff like that when i needed him to tell me I’m not the one for him or he’s sorry to do this to me again but I’m just not it or i don’t see myself with you long term i needed something and he wouldn’t do it.

          11. He bails because he’s not ready for a relationship. It’s that simple. Don’t let him string you along further. I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose but he’s just not ready. It’s clear to me from his actions. He probably won’t ever come out and say that you are not the one for him. He may not say it, but him bailing quickly when it gets tough is a red flag.

            He’s showing you where he stands. Caps show with actions and his are as clear as day.

          12. Ok. I know not to be hopeful and stuff. But I did fall for him. I thought he wasn’t ready before and he sorted himself and came back and wasn’t ready still? Will he ever want to be in a relationship with me and give us a real shot or will he move on and fight for and have a real relationship with someone else.

          13. I’m just confused how he can I say he likes me a lot and I make him happy but say he can’t continue he’s checked out and wouldn’t be into anymore. I don’t know really understand how he just stopped wanting me from one day of me walking about for the day reminding him of the ex now he wants nothing to do with me. It was and still is very bizzare and the way he acted in person just very unapologetic when I treated him well I didn’t deserve it like the ex.

      2. Do capricorns say what they mean or is everything to be taken with a grain of salt. Like he’s say lets move on separately but he didn’t even think he just unrationally ended after one fight and says he’s done and he’s checked out. When he made the effort to come back and say he wants to work on himself which seems weird since there was no rough area or anything for him to be so done with me. thats kind of what eats at me the most so this time he will miss me but be too stubborn want another shot?

        1. If a guy, any guy, tells you “let’s move on separately,” you need to listen to him. There’s a reason why he says it. He’s not happy, either in the relationship or with himself. I would believe him when he says he needs to work on himself. From everything you describe, it sounds like he has a lot of work to do.

          It could also be a power play. He won’t move or bend and might be hoping that you will to accommodate him. I would move on from him, Linda. You deserve to be happy and in a relationship with someone who won’t check out so easily.

          1. Ok thank you. Sorry for all the questions. It was just really weird this time. I thought he wanted to be together so he got his shit together and came back and it was different so i shouldn’t of freaked out but i did apologize sincerely so I’m not sure why it crumbled so easily. I guess it is hard to accept he will work on himself and be with someone else to work on it with instead of me who tried to stick by him even when he was being difficult because i thought we were both crazy for each other.

          2. Ok new question sorry you have the best insight! my roommate is on match and he has made a profile and I’m devastated he’s picking that over me. It’s hard to know if he’s really done with me. I know to move on and everything but it hurts that one fight made him bail. And in his profile it says he’d like to meet someone he can trust that will trust him and i don’t understand how he didn’t trust me or if i thought i didn’t trust him because of being scared he would bail stuff.

            If he said he’s checked out and wouldn’t be into anymore like that day in person which i assumed was just emotions running high and should be taken with a grain of salt. Do caps ever come back after saying things like that. I know it says once its done it done but that hasn’t been our case yet but it seems like it is this time.

          3. Well, if he’s on Match then he’s probably still looking and keeping his options open. Until he tells you or indicates that you two are exclusive you both are free to date others. Regarding the one fight you had and him bailing out, tells me there might have been things that he wasn’t quite happy with in the relationship. The one fight was just an excuse, leading me to believe that it was a culmination of other things prior to that.

            I’m not excusing his behavior here. I’m just explaining where he might be coming from. Caps can be notoriously bad at communicating their needs. Most likely because they don’t want to feel “out of control, needy or weak,” by verbalizing them. It’s a possibility. The only thing I can think of is that there was something else or a series of things in your relationship that he wasn’t comfortable with. He might have said it once, maybe twice and then dropped it and figured, “I quit,” when the next argument presented itself.

            “And in his profile it says he’d like to meet someone he can trust that will trust him and i don’t understand how he didn’t trust me or if i thought i didn’t trust him because of being scared he would bail stuff.”

            I don’t know either, but a Capricorn will put their trust in someone that’s proven to them with their actions that they’re trustworthy. Remember, Caps are all about action. He may check back in a few months time, but do you want to give him another go after he bailed out on you?

            It’s seems like your trust in him is broken or was broken. He might have been mirroring you. It’s easier for a Cap to open up to another/bond when they’ve shown their vulnerability to them.

            The cycle is just going to repeat itself until someone lets their guard down completely.

          4. You’re amazing, if do that book I’m buying!!!!

            So if there is something in the relationship that he needed or didn’t like why wouldn’t he tell me so I can accommodate him? I tried to ask what and we’ve never had a fight prior. I asked why we couldn’t have a fight and learn about what we both need from each other. and I went to house to fix it and make it right and that I can handle him and how much I care for him.

            He would never give me any answers about the issues he had with me which is what drives me crazy. He just said I don’t know why i do this i bail and do this back and forth, he said nah i’m too stubborn when I asked why it wasn’t possible to make up from this mild fight, and I got the i’m amazing and he doesn’t know what he wants. he also had said he likes me a lot and I made him happy but then said lets move forward separately I’ve checked out and wouldn’t be into anymore etc (is that not so confusing). He has bad memories with the ex but he doesn’t with me thats i wonder is all lost but i feel it is because he said so.

            But people are saying if he said he’s checked out he’s done for good?? and i just don’t even know what happened. At least his ex know the things she did. I catered to him and spoiled him and checked in and gave him space for work. and then he’s match which was devastating.

            Do caps ever realize what they let go and what they lost and want to try or is all lost because he tried again and failed. I feel like maybe he will regret it but he will be too stubborn.

          5. Thanks Linda! 🙂 I’m working on the e-book/guide now. Well, also remember that a Cap needs to be with someone that will put their foot down and not take any b.s. Otherwise, he may take advantage. It’s wrong I know. They want to work for it.

          6. I didn’t really make him work for it when he came back so I’m not sure what happened it gets exhausting and i don’t like games to be challenging etc. I thought i went to put my foot down on the him treating me like the ex and it wasn’t cool but it ended up being a disaster. I’m just not sure if him saying he’s checked out is real. Do stubborn caps ever just say things but not mean that in an emotional moment. Or is it set that he’s checked out, I don’t get closure as to why, and he’s on a dating site.

            I mean he came back once, but i don’t see it happening again. So I’m just curious if he’ll go on some match dates and see how empty and terrible it is when I was standing there fighting for him wanting to work on being together. Now i worry i just looked pathetic to him when i was trying to show its okay to fight and we’ll be okay and i care about this enough to stand here embarrassing myself and I’m Sagittarius!

          7. When I say work for it, I just mean putting your foot down when something is important to you, not letting him have full reign with all the decisions. Basically, just standing your ground with confidence when you feel strongly about something.
            No, I guess he’s not really going to give you the “reason” why he ended things and checked out. I think you just need to give yourself the closure. I’d chalk it up to him not being ready and not being the one for you. Don’t blame yourself for anything, especially not for caring about him and wanting to work things out. He might not be the Cap guy for you. Maybe a better one (or another sign) is waiting around the corner.

          8. I guess my question is if he’s checked out, do caps usually make a big come back- but didn’t he already make a comeback so he wouldn’t make another??

            I’m not even sure how things ended good or bad. I didn’t cry in front of him and things were normal when i left we even talked normal as if we were friends it was weird.

          9. It’s veeery likely he will. The thing is, what does it mean? He’s playing the field/checking out his other options and taking the risk that you’ll meet someone else. He’s not invested and doesn’t appreciate what he has now. He has you on standby. Even now, you’re wondering if he’ll come back. I wouldn’t wait for him, don’t put your life on hold.

          10. Ok. May I ask one more as to why you think he would come back again. The reason I think he wouldn’t was he was bit meaner to me this time about moving on and not bothering me which how he acted with the ex and he’s for sure done with her so it seems the same behavior makes him done with me? I know it can’t be sure I’m just wondering why you find you likely??

            Thank you so much for all the advice! write that e-book :)!!!!

          11. Well, no one knows for sure. It’s only a guess and that’s if things end well and he feels safe coming back. If he was meaner, it might be a sign he was getting frustrated/angered that he wasn’t being heard.

        2. the last thing that bugs me now is how he was all put out by me like i just want to be alone (saying it all depressing) like I’m bugging him trying to talk and get some clarification when he was being inconsistent and confusing and then he’s on match.

          And would he consider me going over to talk in person and telling him he treats me like the ex treated him make him think about it and me standing up for myself or him being like well can’t do anything right with woman I’m done with her (his attitude usually). It’s just most guys with emotional issues don’t do well with clean slates like match with strangers they do better with what they know so it kind is shocking he’s on it.

          1. It’s possible that he just knows it’s not a good match, Linda. I think you just need to step away from the situation and give him space and most of all, give yourself space from him. He’s not going to budge.

          2. Yeah, I should move on. It’s just harder this time since I let him come back and trusted him. I’m way more devastated this time than last time. Just not sure why he does this and why he came back if he doesn’t see us a match.

          3. Hi Jennie,

            So I’ve been having some trouble moving on its been 3 months and before his match dating profile was pretty empty but now this week it seems he is desperate he just started changing everything on it and actually added pics since girls probably were not talking to him and listing his salary which is weird to me he’s usually so private.

            I was thinking about deleting him from Facebook because even though he only has 45 friends and doesnt post or do anything on Facebook I look at it sometimes or see when he was last on. He gets on a lot now and i thought he was looking at my fb a lot or something. I find it weird he keeps me on his Facebook since his other two gf are not on his fb even though its a new fb. Would he panic and feel a loss if i delete him? They say don’t delete just live you life and let them see but he’s trying harder on match now when i look good lately. But I feel like if you delete and he can’t really see your stuff/pics that would make him feel more of a loss/miss? What is your opinion?? I understand I should for my own good but I’m wondering from his perspective since he checked out and is really into this match thing now. Which i didn’t even think he could handle the match rejection.

            I was reading this book “mr unavailable are you the fallback girl” its scary accurate. But it was saying he’s looking for the right girl thats makes him want to stop his behaviors or change (even though he said that he wanted to for me) but that doesn’t work because there is no perfect woman since he has the issues he has to fix himself.

            It also was saying he thinks there is fault or shortcomings in me since i took him back and allowed the behavior even though i was being patient and betting on potential while getting treated poorly. It also said he will never see anything being his fault (which is very sad to me) how do you not know you don’t include me and treat me well. How could you treat me so bad when i was so good to you. but that is out of my hands.

            The trust thing still sucks but i proved myself he told me things never repeated. The only thing i ever did was look at the ex social media since she is always all over his friends or family stuff its hard not to see it and then he laughed and said you stalk her and it was like no i don’t but i didnt get say anything. I just said i looked at it once over the summer (we weren’t even together).

          4. I was paying a dating coach who annoys me. Then I read this book and i was like wow. And you always have good insight and have been right from before when he came back. I’d rather pay you lol

            He is in his 30’s and birthday is the 9th of Jan

          5. Haha. Thanks, Linda! 🙂
            “It also said he will never see anything being his fault (which is very sad to me) how do you not know you don’t include me and treat me well.” I think with age, he’ll realize it and become more self aware. That’s the hope anyway! LOL.

            Well.. with this guy, who knows when he’ll ever learn. Men are so strange sometimes. I remember seeing an episode of Sex and the City where Miranda was comparing a man to being like a taxi cab! lol. When the light goes on, it just goes on and up until then they’ll go around picking up random women until their light is on. I always thought it was so funny.

          6. Well he’s already 32 lol! But when he realizes, do caps ever forget the ones that treated them well? Or is it she was my lesson and when he realizes things, he’ll actually try with someone else. I think he’s been unavailable to every girl he’s been with and when he tried to be different with me because he felt i was so great he still didn’t change so he felt defeated or acted as if its my fault I’m not the one because he didn’t change since that is how unavailable men are they blame the girl and not themselves.

            It’s just hard he’s on a dating site and shut down from me since i felt the way i approached him was off but i apologized for it and was still put in a no win situation. I really thought he might see what was out there online and panic since online is dreadful and takes effort (not his thing) and come running back but he didnt.

          7. I don’t think he’ll ever forget someone that treated him really well. I know I don’t! I look back sometimes and think, wow, that guy was awesome. I really messed it up big time. lol.

          8. Will deleting him on Facebook generate more curiosity?

            Do guys that are emotionally unavailable but then are match looking for a relationship (when he didn’t even try to have something meaningful with me, he just used me) ever see that? or are they are just stuck in their i wanted to change for her and i didn’t so she’s not it. Not realizing i can’t make him change, he has to do it on his own and make himself available no one can do it for him.

            I also feel like it’s about the trust thing. I try not to get in my head but I mean he had my passwords to stuff and my phone and I tell him things. But the night we spoke i mentioned his ex-gf social media being ridiculous when i thought they were getting back together and he laughed and said you stalk her. Which makes me think he doesn’t trust me but I told him I had seen it before. She comments his family and friends Facebook stuff all the time sometimes i even get notifications and we are not even friends so it annoys me he thinks i stalk her. And i said i felt like she contacted you more than i knew about and i was right so maybe he doesn’t trust that either but i was right she does try to talk to him those are facts and i never claimed he did anything about it. So it makes me paranoid that’s why he doesn’t trust me.

          9. Thing is, if you know he’s emotionally unavailable why would you even want to bother with him, Linda? Deleting him from Facebook to get a reaction from him will just backfire, especially if you’re hoping to get a response from him.

            I understand that you’re annoyed that he even mentioned you stalked his ex. If it’s not true, then it’s not true. Release it and don’t let it bother you anymore. His opinion of you, is just that (an opinion), his own two cents. It doesn’t define who you are or make it true. You define you. And if he’s not smart enough to see how great you are then he doesn’t deserve you, seriously.

            He might have had his own reasons for distrust. Caps can be distrustful, especially at first or if they’re feeling someone out.

          10. Well he is online dating but it seems like he might be looking at my fb or something maybe when he’s getting rejected online. He actually messaged a friend of a friend on match and she declined to speak with him and he went off on her and doesn’t even know her it’s online lol so i thought that was bizarre. He said he wanted a meaningful relationship and had a house and good job but no one to share it with because he works too much. It really hurt me because i helped him move and get situated in that house and he didn’t even try to have a meaningful relationship with me or know me to have of a more connection and he’s telling some stranger more details than he would ever talk to me about even though he’s lying about some of the stuff he said in it.

            I wasn’t planning a reaction but he’s a lot more involved in online now he added pics of himself and stuff before it was blank and i don’t want to see him with someone else on my social media.I guess I’m wondering if caps obsess and he might panic a little not having me as his fall-back anymore.

            If you’re the rebound so the relationship was only real to me despite what he said. Does that mean didn’t raise a new standard while he is out grass is greening it.

          11. If you need to block him or unfriend him to be able to move on then, by all means do what will help you. Just don’t do it because you’re hoping he’ll react a certain way. Do it for YOU.

          12. We haven’t spoken since i don’t expect a reaction i was just wondering how he might feel if he was deleted since I’m surprised he hasn’t deleted me. His other two gf are not on there and they have both asked to be his friend when we were together.

            It just hurts he’s saying those things on match to strangers.

          13. Well, that’s the thing about talking to strangers who don’t really know him. He might feel a strange sense of security because they don’t really know him that well. They are at an arms length distance and stay there until he’s ready. It’s only when people start to really get close that it’s a whole different level and can test his own personal boundaries.

            If you deleted him, he’d probably wonder why. Having you as his friend on Facebook most likely tells him you’re still on great terms and he can pop into your life whenever he wants to, even if just in a friendly capacity. But it doesn’t matter what he thinks at this point. You have to protect yourself.

          14. it won’t look weird deleting him after 3 months. I feel like he could wonder why now or thinking i met someone. I don’t think he’d panic or notice either way. The dating coach said if i was the rebound then i didn’t set any standards for a relationship which sucks.

            I just felt like he didnt make much effort or maybe he thinks I’m dumb because we didnt have intellectual conversations but he never asked or talked to me deeper really. I took him talking about work stress or his family struggles as victories he was attaching emotionally but i guess it wasn’t. its hard to tell.

          15. Well he is on Facebook more than he ever has been probably chatting with woman. And i feel like if i don’t do it he will and then he wins even more.

            Even though I’ve never look better (new hair, cross fit) sigh* lol. But it seems like if he had to contact to me couldn’t he just re-add or something after getting curious or would he just be like she deleted me she wants nothing to do with me.

          16. Well, yes, he could always ask to be your friend again or add you, it’s just that why would you want him there again when he’s shown you he’s not taking you seriously? He may want to try later on out of sheer curiosity but hopefully by then you will have moved on with someone better. All this is doing is keeping you from moving on so I say to go ahead and do it, cut ties with him for good so better men can come into your life.

          17. I guess I just wonder where I stood ever. Kind of like that quote “people won’t remember what you say but how you made them feel” But I’m not sure it seems with me he has a bad feeling now from me confronting him about feeling used. Or “if you love something set it free it comes back it yours” and he did come back but he left again.

            Its so hard to tell if I was a rebound and if the relationship was even meaningful. I’m not sure if the next girl he dates is a rebound from me or if i was the rebound and now he’s looking for the real deal online. He doesnt seem to deal with his emotions he just relationship jumps the ex to me to getting a dating profile weeks after me.

          18. ok so I was talking our mutual friend and they saw each other a few weeks ago. And it was brought up he didn’t see us happening. My friend said he didn’t have to defend me because he said how awesome and cool I was. But there as no reason aside from he couldn’t see it which is what he said last time. So it his feelings constantly change like most men. They don’t see a future then they do then they don’t or is this his permanent feeling.

            Because this around the time he started making an effort on his online dating.

          19. If he didn’t see you happening then it sounds like his decision was already made and there was no changing his mind, no matter how great and amazing you are. When his mind is made up, it’s done. It doesn’t mean he didn’t like and appreciate you as a person though, Linda.

          20. Ok. This is pretty much exactly like last time so i wasn’t sure. I’m surprised he brought me up at all and it bugs me he wouldn’t tell our friend why just said it wouldn’t because it eats at me. And i don’t see the big deal in telling our friend why because we haven’t spoken and never will so i don’t see the big deal in telling him why.

            I wasn’t sure if not knowing what you want and not seeing it happened were the same. I really just thought he would go on dates and be like this is terrible i messed up and maybe we could talk since he we never really tried so it confuses me how you don’t see it happen but you never put any energy into the potential. i guess you can argue some people just know but how do you know if you never tried with me.

          21. I bought your book! I had a question about back and forth relationships I’ve read a lot that capricorns don’t look back and etc but every cap I’ve known female and male have had on/off relationships and do dwell. Example my ex cap said let move on seperately but was using his past an excuse.

            Also the being cool and awesome but it wouldn’t work like we discussed… I found out later from my friend who didn’t want to hurt my feelings said before that he said I guess I’ll have to find a new maid. When my friend told him that was a Shitty thing for him to say he got defensive and I was like oh I forgot y’all were friends she’s awesome and cool etc. it did really hurt that he calls me maid to our friend when I helped him move in and clean up his new house before his family came. So I deleted from fb. Idk if he’s projecting because he’s actually upset so he’s trying to act cool to our friend or if he really just didn’t value or respect me as person at all. It didn’t make sense for him to say so I guess you heard we broke up, say that, then 20 seconds later be all oh I forgot y’all were friends.

            I’ve been focusing on other things but hearing that was rather painful. You broke up me and I’ve left you alone and haven’t reached out or bothered him and I did everything while he’s never lifted a finger then says something mean about me.

            I feel as if my only karma is I don’t if online dating is working he has to keep changing his profile and preferences and lying about himself on it and he’s on it everyday which I think means he’s not getting talked to or his convos fizzle fast and he’s been on it for months. I thought he’d get frustrated online and reach out but deleting might of sent him a message.

          22. He’ll have to “find a new maid”? OH WOW, I’m floored that he had the nerve to say that about you to your friend. He sounds incredibly immature, petty and not the least bit ready for anything serious just by that comment alone. He’s un-evolved.

            Back and forth relationships? How do you mean, though? Usually, Capricorns are not the type to relationship “hop.” Many prefer to take things slow (very slow) which isn’t conducive to hopping back and forth.

            Glad you bought the book, I hope you liked it. 😀

          23. Well we didn’t really go slow we got together rather quickly and it was as if we had been together for years. Back and forth I mean on/off relationships. All the caps I know I have on/off relationships with someone. He was on and off with his gf before me and then we were on and off once. But I also know other cap friends that do this. That’s why it’s weird wheni read they don’t change their mind or go back when that seems inaccurate it seems they do dwell and obsess more than most.

            I wasn’t sure what to make of a comment like that about being a maid I was pretty shocked too because it didn’t make sense and I was really good to him. I wasn’t sure if that comment was him masking someone emotion to our friend or him being bitter but he called it off twice and I’ve left him alone and I deleted on fb instantly when I was told that.

          24. He does seem unevolved by your description on your site but I’m not sure if he’s only unevolved with me or in general it seems even though he keeps changing his online profile lying about who he is he’s looking for something “‘meaningful and serous” online after me but I don’t know many relationships that are stared based on misinformation you put about yourself online.

          25. So it’s been 6 months and my friend came to town. Last week my cap texted saying he’s breaking his promise (I’m guessing to not bother me) and asking if I’d want to hangout with both of them. My friend was coming to town to help me and visit both of us. We saw each other and he tried to hook up with me but I didn’t engage. He said he was so glad I came to hangout. Then a week later he text me asking if talking would be something I’d like to do. I said what’s up and he said he hurt his toe and he just wanted to apologize for getting hAndsy with me. And then he started talking about something else.

            I’m alittle thrown off that I got an apology and because why not just apologize why send me a text asking if talking is something I’d like to do and then just say oh I just wanted to apologize. I felt there was more there and he was working his way to it but then never did. I don’t see why he needed to reach out at all if it wasn’t something.

          26. He’s probably also apologizing for other things as well. It’s also a way to open up the lines of communication. It’s good you didn’t engage when he tried hooking up with you. Stand your ground.

          27. We’ll he didn’t apologize for anything else. It seems weird to ask if talking is something I’d like to do just to apologize and then I haven’t heard from him since. I was polite, witty, and responsive, but alittle short with him. I haven’t heard him from since. I can’t tell if he really just wanted to apologize for getting hAndsy and that’s all since I haven’t heard from him but why say hey is talking to me something you’d like to do and then apologize instead of just apologize.

            I just find it odd since I haven’t heard from him since I can’t get a read on it.

          28. I haven’t heard from him in almost 3 weeks. He also revamped his match again. I don’t really get seeing me and he kept asking when are we going to play tennis. Then he texted me the whole is talking to me something you’d like and said sorry for getting hAndsy we had a funny/witty/short convo and now I haven’t heard from him I find it really weird. Why ask to talk, say nothing really, then get revamp your match.

          29. Linda,
            This guy sounds like bad news to me, he’s not making any effort from what you describe. If he’s interested, he should be doing much more than just talking. It just sounds like he’s blowing hot air to me. Have you been dating other guys too? Don’t let him hold you back from a good guy.

          30. I have gone on a date it went well he is nice I’m just not that attracted to him psychically. So I’ll have to keep dating but dating now is pretty awful these days.

            I think either I was too icy in text he assumes I don’t wanna speak to him so redid his match and noticed he was deleted on fb which he has been for months. I would think he’d try harder but idk. I wouldn’t think Facebook would be a big deal because we’ve never communicated from Facebook we both don’t really use Facebook much. My other thought is he really just wanted to apologize because he treated me like shit then tried to hook up with me so he felt bad but had no intention of anything but apologizing.

          31. Well, maybe he wanted to apologize for just not treating you right. He wanted to relieve his guilty conscience.

  30. My Capricorn boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We dated for 6 months. He swept me off my feet, and we fell hard for eachother. His work life and home life have increased in demands these past few months and it ate up his time. I barely saw him and he would go into disappearing acts. I felt like I had to initiate all the time. It was draining for us both and wasn’t healthy.

    Yesterday, he broke up with me. He told me its because he loves me he doesn’t want to hold me back. That he doesn’t have the time he’d like to be the boyfriend he wants to be and that unfair to me. It was heartbreaking, and he says that he’ll always be there for me and wants to remain close (and then went on to list everything we do together and all the plans we’ve made).

    Not expecting to hear from him ever again (because I feel it’s so rare), he texted me today as if nothing even happened. I feel torn. How am I to move on with my life if we go on the same way? Does this mean he wants to get back together? How do I distance myself so I don’t get hurt? Do I leave a door open? It will kill me if he starts dating someone else. I’m in denial it really happened but I could feel it for weeks, I almost broke it off myself as I felt I was no longer a high priority. He has a career to begin and so do I. Perhaps bad timing?

    1. Hi Anonymous,

      I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I understand it’s hard. You have two options. One is to respond to him when he texts you back, keeping it civil but detaching yourself little by little. Another, is to let him know you need some space and time from him and if he texts again after that don’t respond. He’s the one that broke it off and he needs to respect that. You need time to get over him and it’s unfair for him to think you can continue so quickly as friends.

      If you want to continue as friends later, that’s entirely up to you. It sounds like you both have a lot going on in your lives. Keep focused on your goals and career and you will eventually come out of it this.

      P.S. – Keep us posted.

  31. Hi. I am a shy, reserved, insecure, loner, patient, polite, faithful, charming, flirty and can be very persuasive type of Sagittarius once I am comfortable with you, lol.
    My Cappy guy and I have been eyeing each other and has been asking around about each other for 2 yrs now (seen each other 3 times at social events, but we never spoke). Each time I saw him, he would stare me down (while standing next to his Libra wife of 6 yrs, lol). I am also married to a Sagittarius male (not happily), we no longer sleep in the same bed by choice (yes, as a Saggi, I am looking to bail as I am feeling very caged to the point where it is depressing).

    Anyways my Cappy and his wife have been separated for the past 9 months now, and guess what? Exactly one week after I decided to leave my bedroom, a friend of mine ran into my Cappy, gave him my contacts and we hooked up. We both admitted to have eyeing and asking about each other. We talked/I flirted and texted, he chased me for about 3 days. He kept asking me out but I was never available (I felt bad) until the official meet. When we met on day 4 there was soooooooo much chemistry in the air. My heart felt like it was popping out of my chest and skipping beats. I could see that he was breathing deep as well. We talked for a few, both nervous and couldn’t keep our eyes off each other. He asked me what I was looking for and I fold him I’d rather take it slow he said he understood. I asked him the same question, he said honesty, understanding and truthfulness. Now, honesty and truthfulness is a cake walk for us Saggis (that sparked all types of emotions in me). I have patience so understanding will come along. (I felt he came on a bit strong, because he knows that I am married. He said to me I was married too). so, I responded and told him that I can meet the criteria, he said ok and looked at me deeply. We chatted a bit more, he asked about my day and so on. He told me he had to go back in, because he is in school and was studying for a test. I said cool. He did the fake I am stretching thing, so I just grabbed him and gave him a hug. He picked me up swung me around, pinned me to the back of the truck and kissed me, and I kissed back. Then I left. He texted me 20 minutes later to see if I got in okay, I responded and told him that it was a pleasure to officially meet him he responded and said he felt the same way. In this first week we met up a couple times for a few minutes (30 min or so) just to display affection towards each other, but always in his car or on the streets somewhere, because I couldn’t stay out for long.

    So, it’s been 3 weeks now approaching week 4. I chased him in week 2 and we flirted heavily, I am a Saggi I couldn’t help myself. In the 3rd week, he became “BUSY” with school. I respect that and felt that I should just fall back a bit, I am not one to get between a man and his education. I find it sexy when a man is on a mission.

    Week 4 (literally), the spontaneity in me out of nowhere texted him and said “I’d like to spend some time with you later, but not in a car”. He responded, “I am in the house, so if you want to join me you’re welcome”. So later on, I went over and I initiated sex. Yes, I dropped my panties. And like most guys, he did the finger test thingy and he was attempting to go raw, I told him to get a condom. He seemed to be frightened when I said that, in a way I felt he was testing me because even though we hadn’t started it appeared as if he was waiting for my reaction to it. He got it anyways and we did our thing, he didn’t display much affection as we normally would, he seemed nervous/distracted, so it was a bit awkward, then he fell asleep. I was like ughh, all that talk he did tho, lol. The next day, he reached out via text to see how I was doing, then another 2 days later (while he is in class). I am learning to ignore him and letting him initiate contact. So for the next couple of months while he’s in school, I’ll fall back. I know he’s going through things in his life, though he’s very reserved. He wanted me to open up to him, but I am afraid to do so, because I’ve been hurt before doing so, and I did explain that to him, so he doesn’t push me. When I love, I love quick and hard. Besides he doesn’t open up to me. At times I feel like it, but then I won’t be of a mystery anymore. I already let one secret out the bag, lol. At times I wonder what he’s thinking about me, idk.

    Sorry for the details, i don’t like to leave out details when I tell a story. But let me know what y’all think.

    1. Hi Lisa,

      Thanks for stopping by! I think that you’re doing the right thing by stepping back on this one. This situation is more complicated than it seems though, because it sounds like both of you are still married. Capricorns take their responsibilities seriously and after awhile he may realize that he needs to finalize things with his ex-wife so he can continue in a relationship w/ you. This can be a big reason why he’s going slow/dragging his feet. It’s still really fresh to me.

      Also, it’s important that you two go out on actual dates and outings to help you truly get to know each other on deeper, more intimate level. If I were you I would encourage dates (especially in the beginning) so that you both have the chance to bond and open up to each other.

      1. Hi Jeannie.

        So we still haven’t opened up to each other and ended up just being FWB. Over the past couple of months, we would see each other like once or twice a month. The last time we saw each other was the week before Thx-Giving. We went out to a bar (first time in public away from the locals) had a few drinks. He said that was his little spot where he goes by himself to clear his mind or watch a game…. So for the first time ever (while we were talking and seated) he held my hand between both his hands, I didn’t really notice until after a while as we were engaged in a conversation, I don’t even remember what we were talking about. So I kind of tried pulling away subtly, because I wasn’t sure how my hand ended up in his (I’m thinking FWB don’t do these things), but he pulled my hand back then massages it and did not let go. The whole night we were acting like love birds (intoxicated), we ended up making out a couple times at our table (this was a first), to the point where a gentleman walked over and placed a candle at our table and said we deserved it, lmbo. We both laughed about it. We ended up going back to his place. He turned on some love music (also a first) and rocked my world, he did things out of the ordinary (showing me his kinky side). Anyways, when it was time for me to go, he couldn’t look at me in the eyes. Perhaps he was wondering what I thought of him. I also think he’s finally started to trust me.

        I didn’t hear from him for about 1.5 to 2 wks, so I reached out assuming after a night like that and I hadn’t said anything as to whether I had a great time that he may be feeling insecure. Honestly, I didn’t want him to think I was more invested than he was, lmbo. We texted for a bit, talked about work and him recently graduated from school, we encouraged each other and so on. A week later he reached out, he was coming on strong with his compliments and stated that “he’s missing me like crazy and that he wanted to see me”. I was unable to due to work/life. He also mentioned that I should reach out to him sometimes even just to say hi. FYI: I’ve been letting him lead, and would only reach out once in a while just so he wouldn’t feel any way. However, I responded with “if you missed me like crazy, you would not have waited so long to reach out”. He replied with, he’s been busy and just finished school. …Whatever, lol!!! … anyways I felt guilty not expressing myself back to him, so 2 days later I texted him saying “hey”. He responded right away, then I said: “just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you and missing you as well”… he responded 50 min later with “hey babe”, I waited 10 min before replying with “hey”. Then NOTHING, lmbo. About 5-6 hours later he text me, “hey babe I’m having a party, not sure what your doing tonight,” … I said it was too short of a notice, which it was. He said, “ok babe, no problem”. I could’ve gotten dressed and went but he should’ve notified me ahead of time, not a couple of hours before. Two days later (a couple days before x-mas) he reached out to see me, but I was too busy with my life. On x-mas day, I reached out to say hey babe merry x-mas, best wishes and so on, he responded with “merry x-mas”. It seemed kind of vague. My guess was he was busy. Later on that night I said “hey” in which he responded right away as he does any other time. I then went on to ask if I’d be seeing him for the weekend, and that if he had other plans that was cool. NO ANSWER!!!… I reached out the following day around noon to let him know that if he is going through something and needed a friend with a listening ear I’m there for him and that my asking to see him was to invite him to an event (a classy event) and offered to pick up tickets. STILL NO ANSWER!!!…

        My assumption is something is going on in his personal life at the moment. Perhaps it being the holidays and all.

        I’m also thinking he may have started to develop feelings and may be pulling back. This was the first time he’s told me he misses me. Or maybe he wanted a reaction to see where my head was, who knows?!.

        I’ve recently separated from my spouse, and moved away, but not sure if I want to let him know about that yet. I’m thinking to hold off to see where his head is at first, if he does reach out. Or could this be why he pulled back because of my previous status. In the mean time, I’ll give him his space like always and continue to live my life.

        1. Hi Lisa,
          I read everything but what stuck out the most was your last paragraph. If I were you, I’d be as honest as possible about your current status. Technically, you’re still married and he may want to know about this. Start it off right, with honesty about where you are and that you’re separated. I say this, because some people might not be comfortable proceeding until you have that squared away and finalized and even if it’s a non-issue for him (which it very well might be), he’ll appreciate your honesty. The more time that passes by, he might feel misled.

          Otherwise, continue to let him lead you. Him telling you he “missed you” was just that. He was being honest, now let his actions guide you. Watch what he does to show you how he feels about you. In general, Caps show how much they care with actions.

          Also, if he’s told you to reach out more to him then listen to that. He’s telling you to reciprocate a bit more. I wouldn’t overdo it but make sure it’s a bit more even instead of him initiating all the time.

          1. So I ended up telling him about my separation (back in January). He asked why, so I gave him a sort of vague response as I wasn’t ready to talk about it at the time, things were still fresh. Besides he hadn’t shared anything about his separation either.

            Anyhow, over the past couple of months I would call him maybe 1-2 times a month, but only to hook up (under the assumption we’re just FWB). Sometimes he’d show up sonetimes not.

            Back in early June, we hooked up, but he didn’t seem comfortable. I was able to tell by his body language (him being nervous and not being able to look at me). I quickly picked up on the fact that I really needed to reciprocate. I must say it felt like I was the dude in this FWB, I had done my best to block all emotions because I thought he was like most guys and not really looking for anything?…

            Anyways I ended up contacting a clairvoyance psychic, she told me that even though we both know it’s a FWB he felt insecure and lost with me and that it appears I’m the only one enjoying it. She also said that he wouldn’t mind a relationship with me to see where things would go, but he feels sadness with me (assuming it was because I wasn’t reciprocating at the time of the reading). She said that I should let him talk and tell me what he wants, and that he is going through a lot of confusion in his life, as am I…. I have been talking to him more often since. He does the I call then you call thing, but I pretend not to notice ??… we’ll talk for hours and very often, we make each other laugh. I think he’s starting to trust me, as he has begun to open up to me and I do the same (he shared/I shared). I have this thing about me where I allow people to be themselves around me, people always tell me that. I dont know how I do it but it just seems to work that way….But, we hooked up twice since after that (July 4th wknd), he was even more passionate. I think that’s what we both needed, that connection, as I was getting bored myself. She told me that he was looking for someone to balance him out, as to the reason he’s dating around. Also that he would be looking for love towards the end of the year, but not necessarily with me and that I should enjoy things while it lasts. Like wow!

            One day last week we were talking, he vented about some issues he was facing with his ex and her giving him a hard time with seeing his children and such. I ended up telling him the main reason I left my relationship (financial reasons). He commented and seemed to agree/understand, as well as gave me some advice on how to deal with my ex. He also wanted to see me but I wasn’t available.

            I called him 3 days later, we talked a couple of hours, at the beginning of the call the first thing he mentioned was that he was trying to get a different job, and that it beats sitting home (I’m guessing he’s throwing shade based on what I’ve mentioned about my ex, lol ??). I responded and told him that was awesome and encouraged him to give it a shot.

            (Note: our conversations normally take place during the weekdays while he’s working; based on his profession he’s always on the go. I try not to call him on the weekends to give him space and I need mine too.)

            I’m nervous because I’m running out of things to talk about, plus the reading I got. I can tell that he’s currently doing that thing where he’s looking things through.

            Also, we haven’t been on any dates, nor do I push him to. He has mentioned that he’s focused on being his own boss and trying to save some money towards his plans, in which I can understand. The psychic confirmed and told me he was focusing on his career right now; and that I shouldn’t talk much about my husband because he feels as though he has to compete; and that it’s as if I don’t care about his feelings if I talk about him too much.

            I think he was feeling the way he did at the time of the reading, was probably because I wasn’t reciprocating and giving him the attention he wanted, as I was only protecting my own self. Not realizing he really wanted to get to know me. In the meantime, I’m just going to see where this goes.

          2. Hi Lisa,

            So, what sticks out for me here now is the FWB setup. Do you see him as someone you can have a relationship with? Are you interested in him like that? If you want this to become something else and develop into a relationship, maybe it’s time to be honest about that with him. Otherwise, it’ll keep going down this path of uncertainty and ambiguity, with no dates outside the bedroom. Have you two had a talk about what you’d like/where you stand with each other?

          3. Hi Jeanie,

            I wasn’t able to reply to your last response because that option wasn’t available.

            My response to your questions:
            Q1) Do you see him as someone you can have a relationship with? – Ans: We just started to actually open up to each other about a month ago go. I’d like for us to get to know each other better as friends first. Being that its only been 7 months with me getting out of a 13 yr relationship, and almost 2 yrs for him being out of a 10 yr. I’m sure he’s taking that into consideration as well.

            2) Are you interested in him like that? – Ans: Yes. I do like him like that, but would rather let things flow at the moment. In the beginning he did ask what I was looking for and that was my response, though I wasn’t as available then as I am now. When I asked what he was looking for, his response was “honesty, truthfulness and understanding”.

            3) Have you two had a talk about what you’d like/where you stand with each other? – Ans: No. This hasn’t occurred yet. Based on my response to your first question above. I’m not going to pressure him. If he is interested like that then I’d expect that he’d say something when he is ready.

            SIDE NOTE: he works 14-16 hour days Mon-Fri, and some weekends; mostly out of state and comes home on the weekends. I can reach him at anytime, and we’d be each other’s company for hours, if not everyday then its every other day. If he doesn’t hear from me, he usually calls and says he’s checking on me or just to say hello. He explained to me his financial difficulties. So if he’s interested to take it to that level next level with me, then I’m going to let him lead.

          4. Hi Lisa,

            It seems like you already know how you plan on approaching this. If you have the patience then see where it goes! Personally, I dislike fwb situations and have never been in one. I do know at least one woman that started her, now 2 year relationship, as a fwb though, so it can happen. But they do go out on dates and act like a couple! But the title is still not there. As far as I know, she’s content with that.

            You haven’t asked this, but if you want to move it/give it a nudge into something more (if that’s what you want) then I would start to make more suggestions to him about wanting to see him outside the bedroom. See where it goes maybe? Nothing too overt (if that’s not your style), maybe a subtle hint such as, “I really want to see this movie, I want to go to ___.” See if he bites. You could also ask him to go somewhere too! The worst that can happen is he’ll ignore it or he’ll set you straight about what his intentions are. This way, you can start to make a more informed decision about moving forward.

            I noticed I didn’t answer your past question about things to talk about. There’s a lot of things, ask him about his hobbies, favorite vacation spots, etc. He should also reciprocate your questions and take an interest in the things you like too.

  32. Hi so I’ve been speaking to a Capricorn guy for about 6 months now I’m a cancer isn and in the beginning he knew I was intrested in him romantically but We were still getting to know eachother anyway about a month went by that we didn’t speak much and after that we’ve become good friends we talk pretty much everyday and I’m falling in love with him, I know he’s physically attracted to me we get along so well we are constantly putting eachother in stitches laughing he calls me his wifey and calls me every morning to wake me up texts me throughout the day but hardly ever sees me I feel like it’s the biggest mission to get this guy to just hangout with me he was engaged a year ago but is definitely over it seeing as he dosent talk about it.. I just don’t know what to do I don’t want to chase because I don’t want to scare him away but I just want to know how to get him to spend more time with me so I can tell him how I feel without freaking him out

    1. Claire,
      No chasing is necessary. It sounds like he’s smitten as well with all the contacting he does. I’m curious though, does he ask you out on proper dates or is it just phone convos/texting that you two exchange?

      1. Well that’s the thing is that he came to my birthday We went out over the weekend and if I didn’t know any better i would have said this guy is definitely inlove… then a couple of days later he said he would take me out to grab something to eat everything was confirmed that night and then he just texted randomly telling me to stay where I was and he was going to have an early one I was fuming and he knew I was fuming but then he called me the next day like nothing happened… I feel like he’s scared to see me I’m just lost and I know I should t dwell and care but you think you’ve found someone that you know you can spend the rest of your life with but that person is just so scared to actually see you…

        1. Did he give a reason why he canceled on you, did you ask him? That is rude to cancel at the last minute. If he was feeling sick or had an emergency then that’s totally understandable but next time, be sure to let him know that you were disappointed. When he calls and acts like everything is normal, this is the time to bring it up. Just state it matter of factly and without getting upset. Say something like, “Name, I was really looking forward to our date the other night, what happened?” This way, you are holding him accountable and letting him know that’s not something you want repeated.

          Another thing, it could be that he’s hesitating because he knows you’ll bring it up. This is all the more reason to call him out on it. Stand your ground when something is important to you with him.

          1. No I didn’t ask him I should have but I didn’t want to be a nag or act like I cared I mean he obviously knew I got upset over it but I just didn’t want to show that I was more invested then he was.. He threw a comment not long ago about a girl getting clingy and how it put him off and I’m definitely not one to chase so I don’t know what to do I’m scared to tell him how i feel I told him once when we first started to get to know eachother and he told me lets go with it and see where it takes us and I’m to scared to say anything now because I feel like I’m just going to dig myself a hole

          2. Well, the next time something like this happens, if it bothers you, you really need to say something. There’s a difference between being a “nag” and being an assertive woman who knows what she wants and needs and states it, matter-of-factly. This is not being clingy.

            Claire, it is definitely okay to show him you care. I know it’s a slippery slope because if you show way too much or go overboard he’ll think you’re clingy, if you show too little he’ll think it doesn’t matter to you and, even worse, may repeat this bad behavior in the future. I know you don’t want that. The problem here is that it does matter to you. You need to be honest with yourself and with him.

            It’s all in the way you say it to him. If you’re yelling and screaming at him, then no, that won’t go over well. If you are sitting down and acting calmly and are level headed and present the facts to back yourself up (Picture yourself making a presentation at a business meeting in front of associates-that may help), he really can’t say you are a nag. These are the facts and you were inconvenienced and disappointed when he canceled on you. I mean, you could have made other plans w/ friends had you known it wasn’t going to come to fruition.

            You are telling him the way you expect to be treated. Do not be afraid of telling him when you are upset by something. Relationships work by communicating to our partners/love interests.

            You want to be with a man that will listen and take it to heart when you are hurt by something. If he backs away because you’ve expressed disappointment, then ask yourself if this is the kind of man you want to be with.

  33. So, I’ve known this Capricorn guy for about a year. I am a Scorpio. We met when I was in a 6 year on and off relationship with this guy I loved dearly. He wanted to be friends at first and I was very skeptical about it because I could tell he liked me. I liked him too but naturally very loyal in my romantic relationships. So he respected my relationship. But then my ex and I broke up and I told him about it. Now this Capricorn guy has been in and out of my life and it frustrates me to no end. We went away once and made passionate love and then I realized that I had crazy feelings for Him. He disappeared on me and I noticed this is a pattern with capricorn men. I cursed him out because I knew he was seeing someone at the time that we became involved again. So just recently I saw him where I lived. He ran up to me and kissed me and swung me around. We spoke, exchanged numbers, and then we texted the next day. I told him save my nnumber and he did. The next day he texted me and came and picked me up. We slept together because we were both exhausted and the next day he took me home. All was well. He texted me the next day and told me he missed me. I expressed my feelings back. He came and picked me up late that night and I noticed he always chooses to text me extremely late but he’s always busy. I texted him the time after I came over again and asked if he could come pick me up because I missed him. He texted and said he had work all day on a day that he usually has off. So I told him come pick me up after and he never answered. He texted me the next night really late. I was sleep. So when I woke up I answered hello. He texted me this morning and I said good morning back. idk. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m too attached although I don’t reach out to him very often. That’s the way he makes me feel. I don’t really know what to do or how to feel about it because I really like him. Help. Pleeease lol.

    1. Hi Nikki,

      If he’s texting you late then don’t respond until the next day. Wait until you’re fully awake and ready to converse. It doesn’t sound like anything is wrong here from what you’ve described. Although, Capricorns take work very seriously so give him the space when he says that he’s working and the time to get his duties fulfilled. He may have just been tired that day when he didn’t respond. I wouldn’t be concerned.

  34. Me and a cappy have been friend since middle school best friends since 2006. We JUST started dating feb of 2015, everything was great in the beginning and then he started to pull away. occasionally i’d bring it to his attention & tell him i missed him (we live a hr 1/2 apart). we usually spend weekends together either i visit him or he visits me. This week was my birthday so he spent the week with me. But we got into a DUMB argument about WATER, i really was trying to avoid it and just explain to him that i do not think he understands how he speaks to me At times. & he blew up & left the next day . blocked me on FB ignored my Texts & calls, then told me he doesn’t want to be with me . We should have stayed friends. He isn’t my type. just a lot of hurtful things. Could it have been an underlying issue here? I feel like he is very insecure about himself but does not want to admit that. bc he often says he isn’t good enough for me. or why did i choose him.

    1. Vee,
      You are onto something. Deep down inside, I think Caps are insecure but we don’t really like to show it, let alone admit it to others. I DO think he’s overreacted to your argument. The argument was about water? LOL. It could be that you hit a nerve unknowingly. I can’t really be sure. Give him some time to cool down and since you texted him last let him be the one to reach out after he’s gathered his thoughts together and things are a bit clearer.

  35. i need help pls. i have been dating my capricorn boyfriend for almost 2 years and it is a long distance relationship. during this entire term of the relationship he has been very committed to the relationship in terms of the time spent with me via text, calls or even us meeting whilst his busy work schedule. he has been stuck in a legal battle for custody and in the last month or so been distant. i have felt very insecure because before this drift he got drunk and asked me if its ok he was involved with someone else purely to fulfill his physical requirement and i would continue to remain his special love. immediately i yelled at him for saying this and we dropped the topic and the next day when i re questioned him about it, he asked me to ignore it saying that he talks rubbish when drunk. however since then i have felt his behavior towards me has been mixed and i have been confused as i know he has been busy with the legal proceedings. now since we have not been talking the same way for a month, i have been trying to be patient, however on one such weekend i didnt hear from him from 7pm onwards whilst he went out with his friends drinking and surfaced only the next evening. so i told him im irritated with him for not keeping me informed and he replied saying he does not wish to talk to me. since that sunday till today, ie wednesday i have sent him a few msgz asking what ticked him off, if we could resolve it, re explaining why i got irritated.. he has real all my texts but not replied to one. i even asked him if he needs his space between his stuff, or doesnt want to be in touch or whether this is an indication of a break up but he has read and not replied to that too. i am feeling humiliated and hurt as this is the first time he has reacted this negatively. i know his ex was clingy and he runs with the slightest possibility of someone showing such signs. i do not know what to do. i have written him a last text saying that i will leave him alone as that is what is clear to me based on his behavior and wished him luck for his cases. someone pls help in comprehending this scenario. thanks

    1. Well, it’s one thing to be incredibly stressed from work and another to suggest he have a fling on the side. I don’t really blame you for reacting the way you did when he suggested it. It’s nothing to play around with, drunk or not. Right now, give him more space. That means no more texts or calls. Let him be the next person to reach out and clear things up w/ the custody hearing and his work.

      From what you describe there seems to be an attitude change in him. Maybe the long distance relationship status is getting to him. The problem that I see w/ them is that they’re hard to keep up. Not to say that you cannot have a successful relationship like this, but eventually it’s normal to expect that one person will move so you can continue the relationship and explore the real potential you have together as a couple.

      1. thanks for your response.i understand a long distance is difficult but we have managed it for this long.and yes we have had fights but he has always given me the security that he wants this relationship and wants to work on it. as of last evening, i had to contact him to pass on a message on a topic that does not involve our relationship and he replied in reference to that. post which i asked him again if we were done, and he replied saying he needs his time and is stuck between many things at the moment. i replied saying thanks for letting me know and take care. he read and didnt say anything. i heard from one of his colleagues too that he would be in my city today for work. and this is the first time i have not known about his travel whereabouts. i really want to be there to support him through his phase but such things are making me rethink and doubt him. i have also trusted him but now i feel what if he is cheating!

        1. Josie,

          Well, just listen to your gut. If he needs time then just step away and let him miss you. That’s really all you can do. Let him think about what it would be like to not have you in the picture anymore. If he wants to continue he’ll come around.

          1. thanks admin, i am maintaining silence and no contact. hoping that my thoughts arent the truth. i know that his emotional state of mind is cluttered and depressed as his ex has filed a few extra cases on him and his parents, apart from them arguing over the custody matters. he is very protective about family and will do whatever it takes to protect them. wish i cld help him out, however i guess the best i can do is wait. And reading various articles on the internet do not help in any way!!! i have read about a possibility of him being a narc, cheater or even genuine!:-)

      2. Hi there

        I have a question regarding the capricorn man.
        I know him since 4 months and we get closer on last 3 months.

        He is so kind and and he cares about me he asked alot and he text me and calling me but all our conversation about our because we are working together at the same company .anyway we like each other so much and first he starting to call and then he stopped after one day i speak with him and my voice be load and i think he upset for this cause and i aplogize to him two times and after that he stop calling and texts me at all .. please help i dont want to lose him .

        1. Hi Rana,
          Sometimes Capricorns need encouragement. Have you tried to call him as well? It might be a nice gesture just to say hello and let him know you are interested.

  36. Complicated situation and some advice would be appreciated.

    I’ve known this cap male since we were kids. We reconnected about two years ago, and have had sex on different occasions. Each time has been passionate and just perfect. I hadn’t seen him for a year and a half but we texted often, and he always claimed that he “always misses me” and he even confessed a couple of times that he cares deeply for me. Of course, I told him I feel the same. We recently saw each other again, and did our usual friends with benefits thing. He didn’t share his feelings in person, it was strictly sex. Again, it was amazing, but I wasn’t necessarily affectionate with him (like cuddle and what not afterwards) because cuddling and being affectionate is a big deal for me and he didn’t share his feelings with me. I know this is common for cap males’s but it is what is. I don’t like being affectionate unless I know there is something there more than friends w/benefits. Anyways…the following morning he said that “last night and this morning was amazing” and I said I really enjoyed it as well. And since then I have not heard from him. I find it strange because he has not done this the previous times we have hooked up. I have always heard from him. I don’t understand what was different about this time? I have reached out a couple of times but he takes forever to reply and is kind of distant, which is not what I’m used to with him. I have decided not to reach out again but its a confusing situation for me, and don’t understand what was so different from the first few times compared to this very last time. Fyi I am a virgo

    1. Hi Kali,
      Thanks for stopping by. Does he take you out on dates or is this strictly FWB? Be careful with these kinds of relationships. In my opinion, they can be so tough because women tend to get attached once we become intimate with men. Where does he stand as far as taking it to the next level? Has he shared his thoughts on this with you?

  37. HI i am a Cancer lady,
    i am taking to a Cap and not sure what to do.

    We have know each other fpr 25 years. He always comes on interested, But i never take him serious.
    Its been almost a year since i have dated. agetting over a painfull breakup.

    our path crosse a few days ago. He said he was interested in us having drinks. So we excanged phone numbers again. This has been a ritual between both of us all these years. He comes on strong when we see each other, but neither of us follws up..

    However this time i followed-up. We got together had sex, but now, now he’s gone all cold in my view.

    Not sure what to do…. of course my first instint is to let go and walk away.

    Everything i read about a Capricorn man seems to say , back off and let him come to me.

    I wait your response.

    What do you recomemd.

    1. Hello Wikka,
      Sorry for the late response on this. I would say that your instinct is correct. Don’t chase him and let him follow up with you. Since the sex came a bit early, it’s thrown the dynamic off a little. He may stay away for a few days or a week but hopefully he’s gotten in touch w/ you. If he hasn’t then I would move on.

  38. Dear admin,i have known this Capricorn guy for two months.we met through an online dating site.we have been on two dates so far with in a gap of a fortnight. But after the second one he seems to be distant. It has become an on/off thing. I am a libra.his attitude bothers me.he’s away for days and doesn’t replies to my messages on whatsapp. When he does he says i am busy.sometimes he literally drives me to my wit’s end.he has time to pist stuff on facebook but not to revert to me. Since last few days, he is not responding at all. I tried to mirror his actions but i can’t resist the temptation of texting him.please help
    Tell me what to do.

    1. Palu,
      If he’s interested he will be the one to pursue you and text you. Right now, it doesn’t seem like the interest is there. Keep busy and go about your life and have fun dating other people. He sounds lazy and uninterested. If he wants to win your heart he needs to up his effort. Pull back and resist the urge to text him.

        1. Dear admin,
          Its not that i am trying to validate or invalidate anything, but it has become a pattern.he would chat over whatsapp with me for some time and then would vanish.last week i had my convocation ceremony and i was awarded thw degree of PhD and he was more excited than me.we had plannef to celebrate but the plan hasn’t materialed as yet.
          I have a poetic bent of mind and i often write stuff which he reads and appreciates. He knows i am very much into him and sometimes he gives me clear hints that i should propose him.but i have had a failed relationship in the recent past so i am wary of making first move.of late he’s busy again and i have not texted him as you had advised.but this dilemma does takes a toll on me.please comment.

          1. Hi Palu,

            Well, you have to follow your gut and do whatever you feel is right in your heart. I’m just going off what you told me. If you are comfortable and it’s your style to ask him out (it sounds like he’s hinting at it) then there’s nothing wrong with it, just be aware that when you do this, you are setting the precedent for the relationship.

            For me, actions will always speak louder than words. Actions are what to look at to tell if he’s interested. If the plan hasn’t materialized for a date then **maybe** you can make a suggestion, “Hey when are we going to celebrate my degree? I can’t wait!” Then step back and see what he does. This way, you’re being encouraging and inviting him to ask you out. You are giving him an opening here. If he doesn’t take it, then I’d have to assume he’s not interested. Good luck!

  39. I’m so confused…
    I am a Leo lady and met my Capricorn man back in January this year, however I found out he was in a relationship albeit he said it was not good and he was going to break it up. I told him to get back to me when he was a single man…and he did. In the beginning, we texted and spoke on the phone but didn’t meet as there were times when he was quite for days and then appeared again. I never chased him during the quiet periods and he always came back. I did however come to a point where I didn’t want to carry on the contact on those basis so I told him that either we were doing this properly or we gave it a miss. We have now dated properly since March and he was very full on, telling me he loved me, wanted to be in a relationship, have children with me etc etc. I was very cautious and wanted to take things a bit slowly to see where things were going. We are very different as people but learning how the other person operate and we have had lovely times together. Three weeks ago he said he wanted me to be his future wife and it scared me as I felt everything was going too fast so I just told him to slow down and bit and see were things were going. I do love him dearly, he makes me feel very admired and loved and he makes me laugh lots. I spent the last weekend with him and we had a great time…and then Monday I noticed a difference. He didn’t text me in his usual loving way, he answered one text I sent but very matter of fact. I asked him if he was ok and he said he was tired, so I left him be. I went through everything on my head that we had done and said during the weekend and the only thing I can think of that would have caused it was one discussion we had were we had different opinions. I didn’t hear anything from him so sent him a ‘heart’ in a text on Thursday just to let him know I was thinking of him and he answered with a short message saying ‘hi and how are you’. I asked him if we could talk and he said he was busy and would call later. He never did so I sent him a message today, Friday just asking if he was ok and I was worried about him. He answered saying he needed space. I am so confused, what is happening. Going from wanting me to be his wife to not talking to me and I’m now thinking he wants to end the relationship but is afraid to say so. I am not sure if I did the right thing, I answered him saying that is ok and told him that I do have feelings he for him and I miss him. I am not the kind of person who will chase anyone, I have never done that so now I will just sit back and see if he will get back to me. It does hurt though and I feel very sad and afraid that I have lost him. What do you think, have I done the right thing and am I doing the right thing???

    1. Dear Confused,

      You’re doing the right thing. He’s moving very fast and considering you just met in January I think it’s best that you slow it down. He needs to show you that he wants a commitment with his ACTIONS. Those are the most important here, don’t forget it. He can promise you the moon, but will he get it? Step back and watch his actions. If he’s backing up what he says then you’re good but it’s always best to take it slow.

  40. Great site. Happy I found it. I too am sort of involved with a Cap man. We had a few dates briefly about 5 years ago and then ironically reconnected a few months ago – we live on opposite sides of the US but he asked me if I had ever been to his home state, I said ‘no’ and he said come visit – so I did. We had a great time. He was the perfect host and is always so generous… Just a great guy. However, similar to all the other posts I’ve read, he seem so aloof and uninterested most of the time. Before I went out to see him he was very flirtatious. We slept together when I went out there (which we had both planned on). When I dated him briefly 5 years ago we didn’t… he wanted to – but long story – he ended up moving plus the time wasn’t right then. But we were given a second chance and took advantage of it. When he was driving me to the airport he said how fast the time went by and how it seemed like I just got there. We have even talked about me coming back out for another visit in a few months. But he seems to be a little distant now. Not as “chatty” in texts (if I get one at all). I try not to text him a lot (sometimes not at all) because I know he’s busy with work, etc. Plus with the 3 hour time difference sometimes it’s hard to communicate. Do I be patient? How do I know for sure he is still interested? When I tell him I am looking forward to seeing him again, he always says things like “likewise ;)” or that he misses the ‘attention’ etc. It sounds like from reading the other posts here that I should just be patient. Reach out occasionally (once a week maybe) and wait to hear from him. But if I don’t, at what point do you throw in the towel? I guess if he doesn’t text me back after say a week, that would answer my question… I don’t want to keep texting him if he’s not interested obviously…. It’s funny how alike Cappy men are! Really am happy to have found this site!

  41. Hi, I made the mistake – which I don’t normally do!To have a one night stand with a Capricorn man, I didn’t hear from him for a week and then I was getting messages from him asking why I hadn’t messaged, we texted for a day and mainly about that night – leading me to feel that he wanted another one night stand, anyway I told him I’m not the sort and wouldn’t do it again, we continued to chat, he text with two kisses but a few days on and he’s answers are shorter… Should I just cut my losses and tell him I don’t get it, I’m confused as to why he replies of his not interested. I’m a cancer btw!

    1. Hello Ydiaz,
      It’s good you cleared up the fact that you don’t do one night stands and it was a one time thing. From now on, let him be the one to initiate the conversations. Don’t text him or call, let him be the one to do that. If he’s going to pursue you, he’ll contact you and make an effort to arrange a date. Good luck!

  42. I just got the news from my Cap Man last night that its over between us…
    I am Virgo and have two kids… we have been together for 2 and half months and in between he went for a holiday to his friends where he saw lots of little girls and ever since he is back we met only once until he called to see me yesterday and inform me that he can see it won’t last between us. He also gave me the reason of needing a baby girl too and i told him I am ready when we would be ready for the child but he said he was scared I was too old for one more kid etc…
    I dont understand his reasoning as its not him… I spent the whole night and evening yesterday trying to reason him to give us a chance but in vain…
    And this morning when i asked him to stay with me and not to leave for work he went to get ready saying he had an important meeting which i understand…
    He went to meet his family on the first floor whilst i was having a hot shower an when I finished I opened the door of his apartment and let without saying Good Bye as I was scared of the bye and what will happen..
    I have been crying ever since and would like to have some advice of how to tackle with him… knowing I won’t call him, nor answer to his texts or calls anymore as i was scared of again showing my feelings…
    Thanks for all your comments…

  43. I meet my cap in 2013, three days after my birthday on an online dating site. He message me saying how beautiful I am and of course we flirted back and forth for 1 week. But he didn’t ask me for my number so I went on with life. Than a year later he message me, I message him back than he messaged me back asking me for my number. I gave it to him and he called me right away. We talked over the phone for hours, we text and he asked me for alot of pics. I was very much attracted to him. He is very attractive, beautiful smile, nice eyes, very charming. While we were talking I asked him why he never asked me for my number last year, he said he wanted me to ask and he likes when girls make the first move sometimes. Well were talking he tells me he made the wrong choices and he was in trouble with the law. So now I’m like wow, I’m lost for words. He said he was gone for 18 months starting the time he first message me. I said wow again still speeches because he doesn’t look like a trouble maker. He kept saying he wanted to keep talking to me and I said ok but I didn’t want much from him. He kept calling and texting me and we would talk for hours but I never called him. He started telling me about his past relationships and how his last girlfriend cheated on him, I was being a friend to him. Than he started asking me why I’m I single, I was scared and embarrassed to tell him I’ve never had a boyfriend at 22 years old. He said it wasn’t a problem to him and how beautiful I was to him. So I loosen up to him, we talked and enjoyed each other conversation.

    Than 1 day he never called me again, I thought he was mad or hurt so I called and text him, no reply so I went on with my life. He message me 2 months later saying he’s not in trouble with the law and he missed me and how he hasn’t forgot about me. I message back saying congratulations, he messaged me back asking me can he take me out to dinner when he comes home, I said if I’m free. I work alot and I’m in school so I wasn’t free plus I was talking to a virgo guy at the time. He said he would be happy if I did meet him and than he asked could he text me again, I said yes. So now he’s texting me everyday asking me for pics and saying I’m still extremely beautiful and he can’t wait to see me. I did started to like him, but he wasn’t in our city at the time so I kept my feelings to myself. He did flirt wit me alot but I could tell that’s just him. He was living 5 hours away from me, he started telling me he has alot of feelings for me and how he would love to be my boyfriend. I was shocked because we still never met and I said I think we should stay friends until you move back to our city. He said he wanted me now and how he’s coming to visit next week and he asked me could he take me out, I said yes. He was excited and I was too but I didn’t say so, he came home 1 week later and he was staying for a week and a half, he text and called me saying he’s home and can I meet him for dinner that night, I said yes. But I never went, he asked me again but I never went, he asked 1 more time but I was stuck at work he wasn’t upset because his friends came and joined him. But we didn’t met, and he left. We talked for a little while longer, than I text him 1 day and he never replied, I text him again and still nothing. Than he message me 2 weeks later saying he’s moving back and can I call him, I said no, he asked me again so I did. We talked again, and he asked can i come see him, I said yes but I never went. Than after 2 weeks of us texting and talking he asked me can i be his gf because he been had feelings for me. I said yes, than he said can i plz go with to the beach I said yes. He said he was excited, I was too but I was nervous!! I wasn’t sure of anything and I never had a real boyfriend and I was still embarrassed. But the day we met at the beach it was amazing, I was so nervous, and he could tell but made me comfortable and he said he’s so happy I’m his girlfriend. We talked all night and than we went to his place and he kissed me, I was very caught off guard and I was so nervous. He did it again and again and before I knew it he was all on me. We did have sex and on the first night. I wanted to leave right away but he wanted me to stay, I did and we ended up eating junk food and watching Netflix till 5 a.m. ever since that day we talked everyday, we had so much fun and I couldn’t get enough of him. Here I was 23 with my 1st boyfriend and he was 26, the relationship was great, we would spend all day together and even sleep together. & one night while we was riding around, he said he was waiting on me. Which shocked me, he never tells me how he feels. But I was very happy with him. So i asked him how do he feel about me, he said I make him laugh and smile, I push him and he loves being around me and even when we argue, I was like awww ( hahaha ) I of course felt the same. But the problem came when he couldn’t find another job to help cover his bills. That hurt him so much, I still had my two jobs but he wouldn’t let me help him. He went on a couple of interviews and I was very supportive of him but he didn’t get a job. That made him pull away from but he would come back. He said I didn’t understand how he felt and how he wants to work more. His living situation was getting worst and he had 2 weeks to get a job or or he had to move away, of course I was very sad but I was still supportive of him going on interviews, but 2 weeks ran out and still no new job. It was time for him to go. He text me saying he misses me but I could tell he was down so I asked him is he ok, he said no he has to leave right away. That was a sad day for me, I cried and he down himself. He kept saying sorry and how he wants to stay and how he didn’t want to leave me. But he had no place to stay, and as much I was sad I said I understand. He didn’t want to talk to me because he said he’s hurt and that he’s  hurting because I was. He text me the next day saying he’s sorry for hurting me I said ok. He text me again but I was sad so I didn’t reply. I text him the next day saying I hope he have a safe trip, he said he’s surprised I’m talking to him and how he’ll always want me. I replied saying how much I’m going to miss him. He replied saying the same. On his last day in town we was suppose to meet up, but I had to work and he when I got off he had to leave so we didn’t say goodbye, that really made me sad and also mad. I felt that he could have made a way to come see me before he left. So I gave him alot of attitude, which made him mad. I text him the next day apologizing. We didn’t talk much and I didn’t have much to say. On the day he left he text me saying how much he’s going to miss me and he knows I’m going to be okay. I was sad, all my friends was trying to comfort me but it sucked. He moved to New York, we did break up. It was a mutual breakup, neither of us wanted to be in a long distance relationship. I’m in Florida by the way. He said he wouldn’t want to put me through the long distance but he wants me. I agreed and he said he wants us to talk still. So 1 week has past and we talk a few times, he text me saying he misses me and our relationship and I of course felt the same. Than a week later he text me saying that he’ll always want me and how our relationship was amazing. I was still sad but there was nothing I could do. But as the weeks went by, we didn’t talk/text much that hurt me as well. But I can’t make him talk to me so we haven’t talk in almost 2 months. I wish he would move back but I’m not waiting on him. I’m still hurt over him leaving even though I act like I’m not. I was the last to reach out and he didn’t reply, I’m dating and it’s going ok. But he’s still my friend on both my online accounts, but I never check his. Sometimes I think he fell in love or something. I don’t think he’s forgot about me but I didn’t think I would still be hurt over him leaving. I know he was frustrated about his working situation and he was stressed, in New York he has a dad who he could stay with until he gets back on his feet. But it sucks still.
    Do you think he’ll come back to me? Do you think he even cares? I can’t wait until my feelings for him to go away. It sucks! Sorry for the typos, I’m on my lunch break.

    1. Tia,

      It sounds like he did care, whether he’ll be back, who knows? The job situation is a major deal breaker for most cappies. We need to be financial secure before we can be happy in relationships (in general). So if he was having issues, you did the right thing in letting him go. He needs to fix them on his own. For now, keep in touch at your discretion.

      1. Hey thanks for replying to my message. But do you think I should delete him from my social media accounts? He didn’t delete me but I refuse to look at his pics or profile. And I still miss him and want him to come back which sucks. He does contact me through social media when we don’t talk for some time.

        1. I can’t really answer that one. You have to do what feels best in your gut, for you. You could just stay off FB for awhile.

  44. Hi I’m so glad I found this site!! I have been dating my Cappy guy for 2 1/2 months now and things started out great. We talk and text often daily but only get together and see each other on Saturday and maybe Sunday sometimes. I think this is so because I work 1st shift and he works 3rd shift so probably that’s why but this concerns me though. He has also meet my parents and some of my family and I have meet his. Our parents has even meet each other. He always goes out his way to make sure I don’t feel any type of way about his actions or what he says. He makes sure he always explain them to me and I understand where he is coming from. He has told me he loves me and I have waited to say it back because I don’t want to get hurt. But now that I have said it back to him he has become distant. We don’t talk on the phone as much only little 3 to 5 min conversations. It takes him a while to text me back now and when I call he doesn’t answer. He may or may not call back but will send me a short text saying “what’s up boo”. I answer and he may or may not answer back. I’m pulling back now cause I don’t want to get hurt no more than I lm already is by what’s taking place.

  45. Hi,

    I was in love with a capricorn male. I am virgo female. He was initially not keen about relationship because he believes in arranged marriage. With some persuasion I could get his attention but it was limited to only care nothing more and looked more sympathic on my condition. But last year things got intense between two of us and he got angry thinking that I did not trust him. So he on an impulse got married (arranged marriage setup). But the relationship has not been working between the two of them, they look like at the verge of divorce. But since I am single though available, dont want to get involved in their marital problems and stated clearly to him. Looks like he is going through a rough patch in life which could be their problem and has not to do with me. I am not waiting on him but he is still interested in me. How do I deal with it because I am not in rush to marry as such anyone?

    1. Hello,
      If you’re not in a rush to marry anyone then keep on enjoying your life. You’re right about your Capricorn though. He’s married now and it’s inappropriate to get involved w/ his affairs. The fact that he’s still interested in you is not your concern anymore. He should work on resolving things w/ his new wife or put an end to that marriage if he’s so unhappy and unwilling to work at it. For now, step away from the situation and enjoy being single. Good luck!

  46. Hi please help me,

    I was dating this Cap males for several months and things were perfect I even passed all his little Capricorn tests. He really liked me a lot and I have never dated a Capricorn and I haven’t been with anyone like him. I kinda freaked out on him one night and he said he was very disappointed I let my emotions get the best of me. Although he says he forgive me he still holding on to what I did!!! He said that’s just the way he is!!! But the thing is I know once Capricorns are done with you they are done with you, however he keeps telling me he wants to take things slow! I know he’s worth it, and it boggles my mind why he will not give up on me yet not completely forgive him. He told me it’s because first and foremost we are friends and he knows I’m a good girl with minimum drams. And he loves my passion for trying to make things work. He said he’s just not feeling it like he was in the beginning and kinda feel pressure from me at times and wants to slow down. We click very well and he said he doesn’t know how he’d be able to hurt me because in the past he’s made some mistakes and he knows how he can be. I told him he’s too hard on himself and that he is a bit too serious. (He admitted that it may be true and no one has told him that) I’m not crying I’m not sad! I’m just boggled. I asked if I drive him up a wall and why is he still so good to me and he says he dealt with worst and at the end of the day he knows I have a good heart. He insist on going slow “friends that go slow”. Some people think he may already love me and I scared him so he’s not quick to give up. However I know I can be impatient and probably put expectations on him that’s he’s not ready for, but he doesn’t wanna let me go and vise versa. We aren’t toxic we are very encouraging and everything is healthy in our dealings with one another. I have to trust him to take the lead but it’s frustrating when he knows he has feelings for me and is dragging his feet.

    1. Hello Meow,
      I’m not sure how long you’ve been dating but if he’s told you he wants to go slow then all you can do is respond in kind. Slow it down. I know it’s tough but that’s the way some Caps are. In the meantime, keep yourself as busy as possible, don’t push him. He’ll move when he’s ready. Hopefully soon he’ll decide to make your relationship official.

  47. Hi Everyone, I’m an Aries woman and i can tell you for a fact that indeed all that’s been written here are entirely true…because yeah, i’m also inlove with a Cappy too and its frustrating yet exciting.

    They can be alluring, mysterious(which by the way its what i think makes them alluring) and attentive and yet aloof, unavailable and cold.

    Since i reunited with my Cappy(we dated three years ago and back then, i couldn’t understand him and so when he brought his aloof and distant personality to the table, i ended things and moved on-because hey you know, we arians aint that patient. We see such attitude as a total waste of time.. like “wats the point of asking me out if you are just gonna run off and then run back whenever you feel like it?” yeah that was precisely my thought at that time and i just had to end things but Cap Boo came back three years later and asked me out again and like always, his charm got the better of me and so like the saying goes the cookie crumbles and i fell inlove with him all over again).

    i noticed he always enjoys the thrill of disappearing and then reappearing, like he wants to be in control of everything including how i feel. if he notices im getting close to his heart, he pulls back and then vanishes and at first, i would get furious at him. The second time he did it, i decided to mirror his actions and didnt bother to call or text(i still didnt know it was a pattern and might probably continue to be)it worked and cap boo showed up like nothing happened, like he didnt just vanish #rollingmyeyes.

    Now, he’s doing it again and God! its frustrating. I feel like shaking him up to make him see that ‘hey im for real. I’m not joking around. stop playing these games” but then i guess i just have to sit and watch like the article suggests and literally just ignore him. But what i want to know is…Should i address it later after ignoring him for as long as it takes? should i still confront him about it even though ive tried it countless times and doesnt work? still i think its totally unfair and wrong for someone who claims to love you(yeah he’d said the words more than once to me, not often though) to just disappear and reappear whenever they feel like it.

    Basically, would it stop or would it continue? need to know so i can prepare for future disappearances

  48. Hey! I went on a date with a cappy (venus in sagittarius),we just had a couple of drinks and had fun (kiss on the cheek only-not sex).

    But now,3 days later,he said that he doesn’t want a relationship that period. We will have our second date on Monday (well it’s a more business meeting between me and him-we probably work together). What can I do to chanke his mind?

    1. Hello Kate,

      If he’s told you he doesn’t want a relationship you have to believe him. Don’t put yourself in a position of trying to convince him or change his mind. He should be the one to pursue you. You’re better off looking for someone else who will appreciate you and is fully ready for a relationship. Good luck!

  49. Hello,
    I must say these are very good advices on dating a capricorn man. I am female capricorn in love with a double capricorn man. We’ve been seeing eachother for five months now. It’s not really a relationship, more just sex. I think he wanted a relationship with me when we first met, he was crazy about me, texting all the time, but I was allready in a relationship then. Two months later he said he doesn’t want to be in a relationship because, well, I can say he’s young (24), playing a guitar in a band, busy a lot doing his things.. Anyway, the problem is that I’m in love with him and I think that he is too. We had some very nice weekends watchin movies, cooking, cudling. We spent the best weekeng two weeks ago, just sleeping together, he was huging me, even wathing me sleep. After that, he wasn’t texting or email me for a week. Then I texted, asked him to meet, he answered right away and came in one hour. We talked as usual, he was nice, but also distant and cold. He was looking at me and suddenly started talking about cheeting, love, sex, had many questions on that subject, all confused. Like he doesn’t believe in love. He’s also kinda obsessed with sex I must say. After that, again a week with no contact. I needed some help a week ago, so I texted him, he called me right away to help. But still doesn’t initiating contact(another week again). I know he likes me a lot. But still no txt from him.. It happened before, desappearing for a week or two, I wouldn’t text him, then he would sudenly call apologising.. So should I contact him again or wait for him to do that? Maybe I should tell him about how I feel, I can’t do this much longer. Or ask him what’s going on? I miss him sooo much.

    1. His actions are probably very normal, the withdrawal periods, but they can also mean he’s still uncertain about the relationship. I don’t like the fact that he takes 2 wks to contact you. For me, anything over a week is a real stretch. They should get shorter and shorter and I hope they do.

      I don’t think it’s a good idea to pour your feelings out for him, not yet, anyway. If you can, wait him out as long as possible and let HIM be the one to admit his feelings for you first. Also, be sure that he is calling you more often than you are calling him. He should be initiating conversations and dates with you way more times than you are. Dial it back some and let him catch up to you. It needs to be nice and slow for these types of guys.

      Be playful and encouraging with him when necessary. Allow him the time to open up his feelings to you, it doesn’t happen overnight. Be patient.

  50. I’ve met my cappy on a dating site. We talked, texted, and facetimed every day for about 3 weeks straight and that’s when he started to distance himself. I thought he was ignoring my messages so I had asked him if he wasn’t interested anymore but the truth was he was drunk. Anyway, when he texts me, the replies are very short as if he’s not interested. So, I was reading on his sign and decided to back off and let him text me back or initiate contact whenever he felt the need and that worked. Well now, today is the first time where I haven’t heard from him at all. I want to give him his space and not contact first but at the same time I don’t want him thinking that I’m not thinking about him or am talking to another guy. He lives 3 hours away and will be driving up to see me on Monday. I can’t wait, I just hope the date won’t be a drag since he’s so reserved.

  51. OMG! I’m so uber grateful to find this site! I’m not one to solicit advice or put my personal life in the public, but I’m a Capricorn woman in need of insightful input about a Capricorn man…

    I’m unsure if I’m dealing with a one-sided situation or if we’re both being ‘proper’ or could it just be ‘timing’ or am I reading too much into things????

    Here’s the situation…

    We’ve known one another for well over a decade. I met he (hence called Cappy Man) & his wife through my boyfriend. They were all college friends and very close. I became part of their inner circle.
    Several years later they were pregnant when we learned we too were having a child. Bringing our friendships closer…though it was my BF who was closer with wife than me and I was friendly with Cappy Man….
    Then the unthinkable happened and both our Cappy lives where thrown for loop, so to speak…
    He was unexpectantly widowed & Though my relationship with my child’s father was deteriorating, we three went to be with Cappy (they live in another city) for almost 2 weeks to help him through.
    Just weeks later, back home, my child’s dad was traveling, as Cappy is visiting ‘home’. This was when my small child became very ill. Then I was given the news that my child was now disabled.
    My world & heart were shattered…I was alone.
    That is when Cappy Man and his family were there for me….
    We became extremely close. I felt a deep connection to him I still do to this day.
    Now we NEVER ever did anything other than talk and spend time together. Ever.
    & I knew he meant a lot to me but I never considered anything until he looked at me one day & said… “I can’t do anything to hurt (insert my child’s father’s name)”
    Surprised I said “Of course not!! I wouldn’t either. You know I have a strict moral compass” & I winked. He laughed and told me how awesome I am, then the convo moved on…
    So we both go to our prospective worlds and begin to deal with our own “New Norms”.
    Then through the years we both hit the “rubber band” periods in our friendship, that we do sooo often ….sigh. LOL Honestly, I’m just as responsible for it happening! Can’t blame him…communication is a 2way thing. Anyway…

    Now to today. .

    So we spoke last week (he prefers talking to me instead of writing, I think that’s because of what he does for a living)
    I spoke to him about a situation I felt he didn’t put his best foot forward on. We have such amazing chemistry & communication, he knew what was being said. No fight, no hurt feelings, just understanding.
    He mentioned in passing he was on road for work but days later I find he was actually on a big tour & at a large nationally known gathering. Woah! He actually made time during a busy period for me!! That blew me away.
    Then I learned he had pubicly corrected himself on his professional social media. I learned all this from friends who didnt know I spoke to him.. They were happily shocked by Cappy Man’s “change of heart”/position so to speak.
    This was immediately after my conversation with him & about the very thing we discussed. So I know he truly listens and takes what I say to heart…no matter how distant we keep ourselves. That says something, right? But what?

    Now as my relationship with his friend (my now ex) has dissolved; I still have to have close contact with the Ex due to our childs condition & finances, etc. So I don’t feel comfortable trying to date or such. & Cappy Man knows this. And I generally don’t think twice about any of this kind of stuff.
    But recently when asked what I did want in a man, I shocked myself when I admitted that if I didn’t have the same as with (insert Cappy Man’s name) with a guy, I see no reason to date them. YIKES! LOL
    Bloody Mary Brunch…made me be honest! 😉
    Honesty is good for the soul though, right?

    Anyway, though we keep distant, we still always pop back into each other’s lives, through messages ” just touching base”. Which always leads to ONE call, a rather long call, but only one, for a while. But what we both inspire in the other’s life always has great significance, even when we have even the most minute of contact.

    Being a true Cappy, through his trials he has become successful & still Sky Rocketing. So when he reposts one of my professional posts, it’s pretty shocking to others.. But considering it was a conversation with him that was the inspiration that led me on my career path, maybe not so much.

    For the record, Cappy Man is always checking in on all my social media but only comments privately.
    For example, on my child’s Bday last year, I posted about how grateful I was to have my child and how we’ve defied odds and how I loved my sweet angel, etc. I received a message instantly from Cappy Man telling me how I’m the World’s greatest mom and how he admires me…etc. It made my entire day! But then, we didn’t communicate for several months…
    You see my problem is I have finally realized & embraced that I care for him more than I’ve admitted. But I’m not certain where he stands nor do I want to be improper. So to be mindful, I’m always making sure he doesn’t think I’m pursuing him, I’m not. I think it puts him at ease, I think…
    But our connection is different from any other I’ve had. I keep my distance as hard as it is sometimes. I don’t want to ruin or lose my friendship. He knows I care deeply (not romantically though) & he knows that I don’t feel I have enough of a healthy distance from my ex to pursue anyone or anything.
    Then there’s the fact that…
    “Especially considering that my child, family, & career all come first…why bother???”
    All things he’s heard me same time & time over. *blush*

    I’m such a Capricorn…. Lol

    In full disclosure Cappy Man & my Ex and are no longer that close, still friends but not close as they once were.
    Cappy Man has seen how his friend has been with our child & me. He openly told me though he loved his friend, I needed (& he hoped) I’d get my Ex out of my life completely to be healthy.
    My Ex insists Cappy Man is in love with me. And that he has an angle. The Ex not knowing the content of our conversations. 🙁
    I have always denied it. And told my Ex he’s just jealous that since we split long ago I think he has no say in that part of my life….anyway.

    I know the 1st part is right but could both parts be right?

    I try to keep such a distance emotionally but once I hear his voice, see a message, get a text, anything. I find it difficult to get Cappy Man out of my mind….once again! Geesh! Talk about Rubberband! Lol

    We are both so typically Capricorn (not easily swayed) but when around each other it’s like we become almost each other’s balance. Thinking and seeing things through the other’s perspective, we both find insight.

    I’m petrified I’m being crazy about all this. But I think this seems more like he’s holding his distace too? Maybe he too has feelings?
    OR..maybe it’s all in my head.
    Could the Cappy Man being just nice to me & I’m being silly about it all…
    I’m just not sure what to make of it.

    But nothing is clear when emotions get involved, know what I mean?

    So can you please enighten me?
    Or at least help clarify this Complicated & Confusing Cappy Conundrum?? Lol

    Thanks Mucho!

    1. Wow, sorry for the delay. It sounds like you two are very, very good friends. Friendship is a good way to start! Although, he may seriously think twice about it since he’s friends with your ex. Time might change that though. He may change his mind in the future. I’d just take it slow and let him lead the way. Be his friend first and the rest may just take care of itself. Best of luck!

  52. So, I’ve known my cap for years. I’ve always known him to be very loyal and committed man. He was married, but his wife cheated on him more than once and they separated in the summer. I went through the same thing with my husband and we’ve been separate for as long too.

    Well, this man reached out to me when he heard what I was going through as a friend and from there we just bonded. I took things slow because I was apprehensive about getting involved so soon, but he was quick to tell me he was only with me, had my back and eventually told me he loved me. I didn’t want to believe him because I’ve been told that before and the person never really loved me…but his actions showed otherwise and I began to feel like he really loved me. Overtime, I also told him I loved him too.

    Things came to a head when I let my insecurities about him still being “legally” married come out on his anniversary and it got the best of me. He began to be a little distant and I took it as him maybe wanting to go back to his wife. So I spouted off somethings via text that I truly did not mean. I followed up with an apology through text because I didn’t want to bother him at work…well, I didn’t hear from him for days. I finally called him and he was quick to say maybe we should just remain friends. I was shocked and wanted to hurry up off the phone. He asked me why I called and I told him to tell him I was sorry for how I acted. He then said that we both need space and then go from there. Well I was devastated. I didn’t expect him to say this… I didn’t contact him, but two days later he texts me twice to say “I do hope you are ok” I responded that I wasn’t to which he replied if there was anything he could do to help… I told him I was brokenhearted and only time will help. He later sent me a text saying “Honestly, I miss you (sad emoji)” but that was it! Nothing since then..I text him back that I missed him too and was sorry. The day that we spoke I was in such shock I never really got to say what I wanted to say which was that I realize how wrong i was for how I reacted to the situation. So I sent him a message just saying that I was sorry and that I really appreciated him in my life and if he ever wants to talk, I’m here… I know he read the message, but again nothing!

    I feel like I need to stop trying because it’s not going anywhere and I feel hurt every time I do. I just feel bad because I know I acted emotional that day and said things I did not mean…but everything I know about him, I’m surprised he doesn’t want to try to work things out. I have friends saying I should just wait and let him come to me and then I have others that say I need to show him how much I love him. I only told him I loved him almost a month ago whereas he told me months ago….

    Should I just let go and act as if it’s really over? Once I get that mindset, it’s very hard for me to change up…but at this point, I’m at a loss for words and don’t want to continue to put myself out there. I don’t usually do this with guys, but what we had was so great, I don’t want to through it away if we can make it work.


    1. Well, you just wanted to do the right thing and it definitely shows by reminding him of the fact he’s still married. Even though he probably didn’t want to hear it, he might have needed it. It’s true, he IS still married. He needs to come to terms w/ that and figure out his next step. He can’t keep himself in limbo forever and neither can you. At the same time, he has to do it on his own time frame and you on yours. It can’t be forced. You just brought up the things he knows he has to face eventually, it’s just that we can be stubborn. It’s reality.

      He may very well want to work things out with you but he has baggage that he needs to tend to. I don’t think it’s over but both of you need to put your past behind you and close those chapters before moving forward and making a fresh start. I’d keep the lines of communication open if you can. Stay friendly and be supportive of him, let him know that. He needs to reciprocate though.

    2. Yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong. He started acting that way because you called him on his crap. Now stop feeling bad about it because you’re right. Honestly, it’s always best to assume limbo means they’re still tied to that other person with the intent of keeping it that way. The only time you can start to infer that you’re not in relationship limbo when you start to see concrete action steps on his part to leave his other relationship. This may not mean at the end of the day he’s doing it for you (if this is done), but it does mean he won’t be able to use his wife as an excuse anymore. The only time you can fully assume that you’re not in relationship limbo is when he’s finally removed from his wife and has gone with a divorce (and if he has kids, seeing the kids is okay). Right now assume he’s wasting your time until proven otherwise.

  53. Hi, I’m a taurus and when I go into the place of business where this capricorn man work, he make converstion with me even if I don’t say anything to him. When I’m leaving, he gives me a heart felt smile and I return it. He has never ask for my number or out yet. What should I do?

    1. He may just be being friendly. I’d wait for him to make a move. If he’s interested he will approach you. Don’t rush it. Good luck! =)

  54. Hello, I am currently seeing a cappy I am a taurus woman…I met him right before Christmas at the time I wasn’t looking to talk to anyone however he was pretty laid back…we switched numbers and for a week and a half he was persistent on taking me on a date…I told him that I was not available due to operating my business…we eventually went on a date new years eve the attraction was unreal and we just felt so comfortable the date started at 10pm and lasted for 4 days…he made breakfast in bed we laughed and talked and eventually we were intimate it felt so natural…only thing is that he is going through a divorce which is pretty much finalized but we have communicated non I getting my hopes up or is he a keeper????

    1. Sounds promising! But I would still keep it slow and steady to be on the safe side. You have so much to gain by slowing down and really getting to know each other. But so far it sounds good and exciting! Enjoy!

  55. I’m an Aquarius and he is a Capricorn. He messaged me on a dating site that I was taking a break from, but since he asked me if I was still on break I answered him. What chatted for a while and I asked what he was looking for and he said sex. But that is not what his profile said. But I told him he wasn’t going get to find it here so he could keep moving. But since he knew that was off the table we still chatted. The. Talked on the phone for hours and hours about any and everything. Aprox a month later he called me and said he was going get to try to work it out with his ex wife and if things didn’t work out he knew how to get a hold of me. I told him to delete all the pics he had of me and while he was at it to loose my number.and hung up on him. Two weeks later he texts me and I ignored it at first but he text me again and said, I bet ur at ur dads. So I answered his text and asked him how would he know that. But from that point on we talked and texted everyday. About a month later I went to his house and this was the first time I have ever seen him in person. I knocked he said come in so I did and the first thing he asked me was to come over and give him a kiss and I said. No. He asked if I would like some wine and I said no thank you so we basically just looked at pictures and I went home. We still call and texted everyday. Aprox five months later I asked him as a friend if he would mind messing around but no sex or any kissing. At first he said no and I was fine with that. I just wanted to see if I would feel sick to my stomach like I did with my ex boyfriend the first and last time we were together. But a few days later he changed his mind. So one Sat evening he came over and we did what I asked. I told him that night for some reason I felt safe with him and trusted him as he held me. So he stayed for a while and went home. The next day I called him and told him I didn’t feel guilty at all and was surprised. He on the other hand said he felt very guilty. I told him I don’t understand how he could feel guilty when we really didn’t do anything and he was with a woman just three weeks ago and they had sex. He just said he didn’t know and didn’t want to do it anymore and I said that was OK, no biggy. Then a few weeks later he called me and said he wasn’t going to work because his house was a mess and wanted to know if I would mind coming over to clean to make some extra money to go on vacation. For some reason my gut was telling me not to go. But I didn’t listen to it and went because he sounded as if he had been crying and was upset. Let’s just say I should have listened to my gut…. But I forgave him because I thought he was truly sorry for what he did and felt disgusted with him self for what he did. We still talked and texted every day but he was the one that was the caller and the text. One night he called me and said some really weird things to me and I told him to no longer say things like that anymore because it wasn’t normal and Plus it scared me. So he did but slipped once and I yelled at him and told him never again. At this time we were together as a couple but I didnt know what I was to him and I said that no one even knew about me. So after a few arguments over that for a few weeks I told him I was done. The next morning he called and told me to get out of bed and get ready because I was going to his parents with him. But at that time his ex wife calls and he answers it and found out that she was in his house earlier that morning while he was asleep. So I told him I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to cause any trouble but he told me I was going even if he had to drive all the way to get me then go to his parents. So I loaded my overnight bag etc, and went to meet his parents. His mom told me that they have been on him about finding someone and being happy. And she said that he said once he finds someone that he really likes he would bring her to meet them. She said I don’t know if that is why he brought you here but just what he has told me. But from that time on we spent every Friday night after he was off work until he had to be at work on Monday afternoon. He would give me mixed signals all the time. He told me he was having feelings for me that he didnt want to have. He told me that I was the last thing he thought about when he went to bed and the first this get when he woke up. While I was asleep I felt some thing touching my face so when I woke up he was on his side looking at me and touching me on the face and moving my hair. I asked him later why he was doing that a do he got tongue tied and said, I don’t know I guess I think ur very pretty. I said OK, I just haven’t had anyone do that before is all. I also woke up to him touching my hand and fingers, I asked why he was doing that and he said he just liked my little hands and I said all women have smaller hands then men. He said not his ex wife. With all the mixed signals he was giving me I didn’t know if he Loved me or not. One night he told me he was addicted to me. He said he fought it for a long time but he couldn’t fight it anymore. Was he actually saying he loved me? Then another month went by and I asked him again what are we and he said since I have to have a name on it instead of just Letting things happen then he would say casual. When I looked up casual it was the same as fwb and I texted him at work and said we need to talk because casual would not work for me I needed more. And I wasn’t coming over after work but he begged me to come over and talk about it because he said he didn’t know that casual was about the same as fwb and please come over so we can talk. So I did but waited to talk the next morning. He was treating me more like he truly loved me. He was also ignoring his ex wife’s texts. So the next weekend was the worst. He had told me he loves me but wasn’t in love with me. But what was the addicted to me about? But we got into a big argument the following weekend. He said something to me that normal people don’t say and I told him I was done. He cried and begged me to forgive him but I couldn’t I was just scared and wanted to get out of his house. So I figured what would I have to loose, so I went to his ex wife. But trust me I had a good reason. But she said so u r the secret. I didnt say anything. She said she wouldn’t say anything to him about me talking to her, yeah right. She was texting him to go off him self. She said she wanted nothing to do with him but I noticed after I showed her a video of my Yorkie playing with her ex she started acting weird. It was like she didn’t like seeing get him happy. So then that is when she started trying to get him back. She even text messaged both of us in a group text that she was going to take her life and I knew when he woke up and seen that text he was going to let me have it and he did. Later that night at 2:45am he texts me to call if I truly care so I did and we talked for a couple of hours and he still wanted to be friends and wanted to still be in my Yorkie’s life and he would call me the next day and let me know how his ex was. He said he was going to come clean and tell her the truth about everything when she was able recover and handle talking to him. Well the next day not one text or call. I called and text him to see if she was OK but nothing. Then the next day he messages me and said she is OK, there still in Love and going to try to make it work and he will no longer contact me and said good bye. And I haven’t heard from him for aprox 2 months. I pretty sure it’s his ex that won’t let him just be friends and see my Yorkie. But his mom told me that he dont seem any happier now then he was divorced over two years ago when he was with her. And they still don’t do anything together. she bought him a Yorkie for Christmas. She said when she sees him with her the Yorkie he is very happy. So I am happy that he has the Yorkie in his life because they give so much unconditional love. But she also told me things that him and the Yorkie does. And what is weird it is like he is trying get to be me with my Yorkie. He thought her to sleep on his chest and the other day his mom asked him what he was doing a do he said be was laying down because his Yorkie was wanting to take a nap. That is another thing I have to do with my Yorkie. She also bought her diaper bag and baby wipes and other stuff to put in the diaper bag. Same as me. But the difference is my Yorkie has health problems and that is whyi spend so much extra time with him but he is the one that wanted on my chest to sleep and I had to lay down for him to take a nap etc. So after you read all of this, do you think he really ever was in love with me? Do you think he misses my Yorkie with him making his act like mine or is he mirroring me or does he really miss me.? His mom said he talks about my Yorkie all the time. So could he really miss me? And the only reason I believe his ex wanted him back was because she didn’t want to see him happy. Plus she made sure he found her when she tried to off her self, but if ur going to do thatiI don’t think you would only cut ur legs, especially when she said she was going to cut her throat. I my self think she is just an attention seeker. But I guess she has won for now or maybe for good but I guess only time will tell. Can anyone give me any insight on what they think this entire relationship or what ever it was is about? Will he ever call me just to be friends? It’s been about two months but I have tried to contact him because I owe him money and I need to make sure he will cash the money orders before I send them and not how them away. So still waiting on an answer back from that. But I K own this sounds stupid but I do love him and that is what suck’s……. But now figured out why I felt so safe with him and trusted him when I asked him to be with me, no kissing no sex. But that was because I was in love with him and had no clue…..but that is what happens when that is only my third relationship I have ever been in. No wonder I couldn’t understand if he was giving me mixed signals or even what I was really feeling because I had no idea. I just hope we can be friends again. So please I need all the help I can get. Thank you for your time….. Confused….

    1. Kim, I think this sounds a bit unhealthy to me and you should pull away from this guy. I don’t know exactly what he’s said to you when he said those “weird things” but I can guess. If your gut tells you something’s off then you should listen to it. I’m sure he cares about you, but he sounds unstable and confused AND he said he’s not in love with you. For me, there is no other way to go from here. If you owe him money then just mail it to him if that will make you feel better. If he’s going to be childish enough not to deposit money that’s his then so be it. You don’t have control over that. Let him go and live your life. You deserve better.

  56. Hello!

    I am a Cancer women dating a Capricorn man. Our story is very interesting. We first met when we were 10 years old and he has been pursuing me ever since. I never went out with him because I hadn’t developed feelings for him like that but I always felt a close connection and we became close friends in our 20s. We finally dated for about 3-4 months and it was terrible. His insecurities drove me away.

    Now, 7 years later, we have been dating for almost a year. But here is the catch: we both broke up long-term relationships to be together. I left a relationship of 4 years and he got divorced. We were so close and so in love but I had to take a step back to figure myself out and told him I thought we should just be friends.

    Once I realized my mistake, I quickly told him I wanted to be with him and we were back together in about 3 weeks. But that break-up coupled with the finalization of his divorce has taken my sweet, caring, compassionate, attentive Capi away from me. He’s distant. Doesn’t always make time for me. He doesn’t pay me as much attention. For the first time in 23 years I am chasing him. And I don’t know what to do to get him back to being emotionally available so we can continue moving forward. On the one hand I think it would be best to leave him alone and continue having my own life. On the other I feel like my pulling away will make him feel more insecure…

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. 🙂

    1. Divorce is difficult. It’s the end of something that should have been forever and many just need that time to mourn that loss. It’s very final. How long ago was his divorce? How long have you sensed his “distance”?

      1. The divorce was only finalized a few months ago. I began noticing his distance right around that time. But… he is still faithful and loving. We spend time together, talk almost every night. I just want things to move faster LOL. And I want to know what I can do with him to make him stop thinking about the demise of his past and continue to look forward to our future.

        1. Wow, okay. It’s very fresh then. That could be the cause. This is a time for reflection for him. Even though it’s over between them, he probably needs time to sort things out privately and needs some time to heal. I wouldn’t take it personally. It can really be traumatic and difficult to come to terms with. Unfortunately, it can’t be rushed. There’s not really a set time frame. He has to feel it AND it’s the end of the holidays too and most can get pretty gloomy around this time. All you can do is be supportive and be not just a girlfriend but a true friend.

  57. Virgo girl

    I was with a Cap man for 2 and a half years we were each others first proper relationship. I was 19 he was 18 .. most of relationship was good apart from he didnt take me out we just spent time indoors he wasnt very romantic but I was so in love I didnt show I cared. It drove me to cheat 1 time when he stood me up worst mistake ever then he found out months later n led to our break up. He would never aswer my calls.2 years later I had a dream so called him.. I know strange! He apologised for how he treated me years ago and went down mrmory lane. He has a gf now of 1 year. 1 month later he came to see me and we got on like normal ended up sleeping together. He said he doesnt regret it but should not have happened its not in his character. He said he was confused because it felt normal being with me. 1 month later spoke to him and he said he can relate to me more than his gf ect in same convo mentioned our night together and convo flowed. He said he sees now how much I cared and we answered so many unanswered questions that led to our break up and we understood things so clear. Now im realising ive always loved him but hes with someone else. I think he doesnt want to hurt her its her first real relationship he said shes spoilt and said he regrets never taking me out and treating me how I deserved…. help do you think he loves me? He said he likes his gf not love.

    1. Well, if he still has unresolved feelings, which it sounds like he might I think he needs some time to figure it out. For now, he still has a girlfriend and as difficult as it may seem, you have to respect that.

      Let him decide on his own what he really wants. The guilt will get to him if he keeps going down this path without setting things right (ending the relationship if he’s unhappy). Eventually, it’s his decision and unfortunately there’s not much you can do but give him the space to decide on his own. Remove yourself from this situation and give yourself some space as well. Is this what you really want?

  58. I’m a virgo woman, who feel hard for a capricorn man. The first time I laid eyes on him I wanted to make slow love to him. I was standing outside a local night club when we noticed each other, for a moment we just stared at each other, before we introduced ourselves to each other. There was an immediate attraction between us. We exchanged numbers and spend hours on the phone, for about two weeks. On several occasions we meet up at local clubs or each other’s home briefly to talk and kiss, it was very endearing. Communication between us was the lock that held us together, because we would talk about any and everything, secretly he was like another girlfriend of minds. When ever I wad going through difficult times he would enlightened me in a spiritual way, which gave me complete comfort. My past was a complete mess, because I was married to another capricorn, who wouldn’t let go although he was ordered by the court to stay away from me. Me being a Virgo, I was quite honest about everything which was taking place just to keep him aware of everything, and my Capricorn man explained to me, that he would never let any man run him away from a woman he is interested in. Two weeks later we had hot steamy sex, and a week later we had the same encounter, and it was extraordinary, only this time he asked me to fulfill his fantasy by having a threesome, and I blatantly told him I oppose of it. The next day we had another sweet date with a passionate departure, and I never heard from him again. Me being a Virgo never pressed the issue why he never called or answered my text the next day, leaves me in a state of confusion. Was he asking me for a threesome test of my strength and loyalty, or did he perceive me as a quick hit and run? Is his disappearance a part of his deciding on a relationship with me, or is he gone forever I need to know, so I can move on, because I can’t get him off my mind.

    1. Did he ever take you out on a date or were these encounters just meet ups at clubs? That’s one of the things that seems to be missing. This guy needs to bond with you and the only real way to do it is through frequent dates to give you some quality time together. He may be back, give him some time. Although it doesn’t bode well that after a short time he asked your for a threesome. It’s possible he didn’t really take the relationship seriously.

  59. Hi,
    I met a younger cap male online, at the time we were both in relationships. Things got deeper between us and we both decided to make a go of things together and ended our relationships. This was 6 months ago. We’ve arranged to meet each other but he always backs out with excuses and recently he’s admitted he’s scared I will hurt him. He texts me everyday ( no phone calls) he’s promised me there is nobody else, he also sends me flowers and gifts. There is a large age gap between us and he first admitted to being in love with me. Confused as why or if we will ever be more than what it is ?

    1. Well, until you’ve actually met in person, I would keep ALL of your options open. The fact that he keeps backing out is very suspicious to me. It’s okay to be scared but we all take these risks when looking for love. I would let him lead you, since he keeps backing out then let him be the one to initiate the next meeting. If he backs out again then let him go. There’s only so much a girl can take and that’s just flakey and a sign of an un-evolved male/man who isn’t ready.

      Proceed with caution and keep your eyes open here. You haven’t met him yet, correct? Have you spoken on the phone? In addition, be careful about taking his declaration of love seriously. It’s pretty hard to gauge when you haven’t met in person/been out on some dates, etc.

  60. I met this Capricorn man a month ago and when we spend time with one another it is amazing and I feel like I’m the only one and he seems interest in me. When we are not together it is the complete opposite, I would text or call he may not reply right at the moment which is fine he may be busy and sometimes he won’t respond till the next day. He says he’s single but his mix signals are throwing me off. I want to see where it would go in the long run but don’t want to end up getting hurt. How can I tell if he is truly interest in me?

    1. Hi Monica,

      Remember one of the key things about Capricorns and men especially, they need their space (big time). Make sure you let him initiate. He HAS to be the one to pursue you. It’s tough because they’re just slow and methodical but he needs to be the one to do it. Let him do the work to win your heart. If he keeps following up and asking you for dates then yes, he’s still interested. If he tries to do small things to make your life easier then he’s interested.

  61. I was in a relationship with a Cap man for a year (claimed me as his girlfriend). One day, unexpectedly, he stops communicating, which included responding to my calls and texts. There was no argument or anything, he just went silent. It’s been about a month and since then I have not texted or called either. Only thing I do know is before the silent treatment, he mentioned working on a big project that had an end of the year deadline. I also suspected he had financially issues (even though he never mentioned financial problems) because he sometimes made off -the-wall comments about paying more attention to his finances. Nonetheless, I thought going silent, with no explanation was rude. Any thoughts? Is he gone for good?

    1. I think it’s incredibly rude and there’s no excuse when you’ve been in a relationship for over a year. Have you tried calling him?

      1. Yes, but not recently. Earlier on when he stopped I did try calling, but never answered or called back, so I stopped trying. With his birthday coming up, I’ve been thinking about him more. What are your thoughts?

        1. I think if he was truly interested he would have followed up with you. I’d let it go for now and get busy with your friends and personal life. He may be back though so be ready. I still think it’s incredibly rude to have no contact like that when you called to check on him. Who knows with some of these guys. The un-evolved ones may try to fade away like this. It’s inexcusable to me, especially after a year.

  62. I work with an older Cap man. I’m a Cancer. We were attracted to each other instantly. He is a dentist and I’m the practice manager. We have had this weird relationship for a year and a half. We both are workaholics and share many of the same values. Somedays he drains me emotionally but it’s always a good thing in the end. He is VERY private and I respect that, however, when I first hired him, I did a search like I do with any other doctor I hire. I found something that needed to be addressed. He explained the situation and said that was your one chance to ask questions. Fast forward a year and a half and I have been having dreams about this situation and I made the mistake of telling him (which I was only being honest and didn’t want to keep anything from him ). He saw it as disrespect and has pretty much cut me off. He barely speaks to me at the office (only when it pertains to work). People notice that there is something weird between us and it makes it awkward for all. (no one knows about our personal relationship, we keep it professional but they do know that he needs me and is always around me… It’s been like that from day 1).
    I am a sensitive soul but have tried to put my feelings aside and stay focused on respecting his wishes. I love him and want him back in my life. I have sincerely apologized and have treated him kindly and respectfully. Do you think he will ever forgive me? How do I convince him that I do have his best interest at heart and I will keep protecting and defending him even though my heart is breaking. I’m loyal and true but because of his trust issues, he doesn’t “get it”. I know he cares b/c he told me that if didn’t care, none of this would have bothered him. I’m willing to be as patient as I need to be but I just need advice as to how to win his trust back.

    1. Hmm.. it’s hard to say because it sounds a little vague. If you were just sharing your thoughts on something then I don’t see the harm in it, it was only a dream. Whatever it was, he’s probably incredibly sensitive about it. If you apologized, just give him some time. He needs to think on it. After a while he may realize he’s over-reacting to it. There are some things that we can be incredibly sensitive about (especially with work stuff) and it might have just thrown him off guard when it was brought up suddenly. Maybe he felt his integrity was being questioned? I’m not too sure here since I’m not exactly sure what it’s about.

  63. Hi,

    ROUND 1:
    I started dating a capricorn man one year ago. We met on a nightclub, 3 days after breaking up with my ex. I sent him a friend request on Facebook that same night, which he instantly responded to. We talked all night. A few days later he asked me out on a date, we met up about a week after that and grabbed a couple of beers. He told me about his childhood and seemed very interested in my past as well. After that we went on two dates, both at his place. Then… The biggest misstake I ever done – we met again on a party, both pretty drunk, we took a cab to his place and he asked me if we shouldn’t wait… I said “WHY?” and then we had sex. After that, the datingpart was gone. We only met out partying and went home to his place. This happened for about 2 months, every weekend. Subsequently, nothing much was decided… I moved on, thinking he wasn’t interested. But couldn’t stop thinking about this man! He texted me a few times in the middle of the night, asking if I wanted to take a walk and so on. But I did not respond. Then he texted me a thursday, “When can I see you the next time?” and I (stupid as I am) answered “When you text me sober”, upon which he answered “Im home sober, watching a movie”. I felt so embarrased I didn’t answer.

    Note: I think I gave him the signals of beeing a one-night-stand although it was the complete OPPOSITE.

    ROUND 2:
    Four months flew by, but I still couldn’t stop thinking about him. Therefor I decided to give myself one week to send him a text. 6 days later I sent him a text “Hello, long time no see. You just crossed my mind, hope you are doing well” He replied about an hour later (one of the longest hours of my life) “Hello, im fine how are you? Didn’t see this coming… But it was a great surprise.” Then we started texting back and forward. I was literally on cloud 9. We went on five dates at my place, we went out for dinner and chilling around at my place watching a movie and so on. The first 3 times we had sex, he kissed me goodbye the morning after. But the second two times we didn’t have sex, he didn’t kiss me goodbye… It was a bit awkward in the morning I must say…
    After these two “wierd dates” we haven’t spoken as much as we used to… I don’t want to embarass myself… But anyway, I tried to sent him a text 2 weeks ago where I asked if he wanted to meet up soon to bowl or something like that. He answered 1 day later “Haha hello, Im quite busy this week, but if I get a gap I’ll get back to you” I answered “:)” because he pissed me off with his answer haha.

    During this radio-silence since the last date he sent me some music, a couple of times a week (he is a music producer) locked only for my user to listen. Last week he sent me one of these links including his latest work, I replied “Good job!” he replied “Im bored, why don’t you come over?”
    I told him I was busy, because I were busy. But told him Id love to meet up another day. He said “Sounds good” Since then we are back in the radio-silence-mode.

    Is he interested?
    Does he want something serious?
    Should I propose the next date? What the fuck should I do!?

    Sometimes it feels like we have taken “the game” to a whole new level.
    No man has ever “denied” me this way haha, Im a leo so i tend to get quite frustrated in these kind of situations…


    1. Well Hannah.. sorry for the late response here! I think the whole sleeping together too soon might have been the culprit. There’s not anything wrong with it, it’s just that it can throw the dynamics of the relationship off. It cuts off the getting to know you stage and the part where he gets to bond w/ you emotionally and get those warm fuzzies to get attached. What you need to do is to re-set this thing.

      It’s good you didn’t go over when he said he was bored. This is NOT the way you want this guy to talk to you or think of you. For now, you need to pull away from him, sit back and let him initiate the next date/convo. I think Caps love a challenge so you need to give him one. Hold your ground, don’t back down. If he’s truly interested, he will text/call you (AT A DECENT HOUR), ask you for a date (not a booty call). Just how you are fascinated by his “denying” you, he will be intrigued by it as well.

      Rules: If he texts you at an inappropriate time- don’t respond. Respond the next day to him. After awhile he WILL get the hint.
      Hold off on having sex w/ him when he asks you for another date.

  64. I’ve had this crush on a cappy guy from ever since.. He’s hard to keep up with.. But any ways I get to meet him and talk to him a few times..I don’t know if he likes me! It seems that way . We wet out with some of his friends to a party n I was the only girl he called over but he said something that throws me off..but for the entire night he looked real angry n upset mayb because of what he said?does he likes me? Should I text him on twitter n demand an apology

    1. Well, what exactly did he say or do? If it upset you, then yes, you should confront him about and just be honest. It’s possible he didn’t realize that what he said hurt your feelings. Sadly, some people can be pretty dense about this stuff and really need to know the truth. Explain to him why you thought what he said was hurtful to you, how it made you feel, etc and if he’s a good guy he’ll apologize.

  65. I’m a 47 yr old Libra woman. I met a Cap guy of same age online. He initiated and we emailed & talked on phone every day for 3 months before meeting. Then we had 6 dates which were all great. He was very passionate from the start but I would not sleep together. The 6th date was very intimate and after he has completely pulled away. I saw him only once for lunch in 4 weeks and he has refused all my suggestions to meet up. He went from texting every day & calling a few times a week to texting about once a week. We have short conversations in which he talks as if no time has passed. He has suggested a couple of lunch dates but bailed on one & did not confirm the second. I told him I wanted to see him & it had been too long. We have different work schedules so times when we are both free are hard to find anyway. I try not to text but it’s hard to go more than 4-5 days without texting him. If I do text he will text back but then nothing for days. Does he just need space or has he lost interest? Should I just do nothing until he gets in touch? How would I know how long to wait without contact before assuming he’s gone for good? I really like him but I don’t want to be ignored like this. He persued me so how do I get him to do that again? Help!

    1. Hi Libra,

      It sounds like he’s gone a bit cold. No one likes being ignored and you definitely shouldn’t stand for that if you’re not comfortable or happy with it. Bailing on the dates is just rude. I would get involved in your own life and put him on the back burner. For me, my rule is a week. If he doesn’t initiate on his own after 1 wk then it’s safe to say you can move on/detach. He needs to show much more interest that what he’s doing now and you deserve much better than what he’s giving you.

  66. Hey, I’ve been dating a capricorn man for about for months. We met online and once he had my number, he would text me all the time, we both would initiate contact. Shortly after, we went on our first date and immediately after, he wanted to know if we were “promising.” And jokes about taking himself off the site. So we went on having weekly dates and talking every day. He was very interested in every thing I did, what I studied, my writing, everything. Right before we hit two months of dating, we became a couple. Right after that, he lost his job and had to start searching for another one but I didn’t mind, I paid for a few dates. I knew he didn’t love this and he expressed that he hated not having money. He had also told me that he was thinking he shouldn’t get involved with anyone before being completely on his feet since he lived with his sister and niece. But he followed up by saying he didn’t want to miss out on a good woman so we continued as a couple. We have the best times together and he had even said I was becoming his best friend. Even made allusions to love, like he wanted me to love him but I never said it bcuz I knew it was early. Anyway, we always talked about our plans for the future and hopefully being together for all of our future endeavors. One day, he came to my home and we spent the day together. All was well as usual. When he got home he told me he made it and called me by my pet name that he has for me. The next day, I didn’t hear from him. I texted and asked how his day was but no response. By the next day I was annoyed and I sent a text saying he could at least answer me. He responded saying he would never ignore me, that he was sleeping but I replied that I had texted him the day before but ok, cool. I was annoyed so I didn’t say another word all day and neither did he. Now it goes to the next day. Nothing. Sent him a msg saying that he could let me know if he didn’t want to speak but he should say something if we’re in a relationship. But to let me know SOMETHING. He responds much later saying he’s just been burned out be he realizes he should have answered and he apologized. I got this response only after sending another text saying “no response. Nice” after that I told him I accepted the apology and he could have just told me and he could have just contacted me when he felt better. After that I got nothing. Texted him a few days later to check on him and nothing. Over a week passed after that check in text and finally I sent him a msg saying that I was always there to support him but I didn’t think that it was good for us to not speak. He responded saying that he was sorry and he was rude for not answering me. He said I didn’t need to apologize. That he needed to be sure that he was ready for another commitment at this point in his life and that there was nothing wrong with me, I’m great. The convo went on with me saying I’m sorry to hear that and didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable with me and he replied that he was comfortable and always had been but he’s “in his own head” and his thoughts were getting the best of him and that he tends to do retrospective thinking from time to time. I said I didn’t want to be enemies and he responded by saying we would never be enemies and then referred to me by his pet name for me. We went on for a bit just catching up on what was going on with each other but I haven’t spoken to him since. I ended up falling asleep that night bcuz it was late. I don’t know what to think. We shared so much and he would never even let a day pass without saying he missed me and he always says I can’t get rid of him and we tell eat bother how lucky we are (yes we were sickening). We never even had a fight. But I don’t understand how he could flip overnight and be content with not speaking to me. Does this mean he lost interest overnight??

    1. His whole job situation is probably the culprit. He might be really stressed about it and it could be a deciding factor. When finances are bad then it makes starting/sustaining a new relationship that much more difficult. #1 priority for many Caps is financial security/stability. It will almost always come first. After all, it’s how we support our families and those we love. =) I’d give him some time, he’s probably thinking things over and trying to figure out his next step. I know it doesn’t sound too great, but he needs to be the one to initiate and follow through a bit more than what he’s doing now. Let him miss you, give him some time to miss you and think things over and see what happens.

    2. you dont happen to live near columbus ohio? i know of a cap male that lives with his sister and niece who also lost his job. it would be funny if it was the same idoit. if so then he just got busted. if not sorry to have bothered you.

  67. Hi admin.. I posted a question but dont see it in comments.not sure hence posting again. I’ve known a very nice Capricorn guy for about 4yrs now.. n we are getting engaged this month.. hes settled in a different country hence its long distance. We get along very nicely except that at times he won’t tell me who he’s out he will say hes going out for coffee… amd that’s about it. Sometimes he’d tell me and sometimes id ask..casually but he feels I shouldn’t have to know everything. And thats part of his personal space..he says he’s not the kind of guy who wants to inform me about everything and likely that post marriage hed be the same. Its not making me comfortable.i told him that being like this makes me feel like he doesn’t trust me or that he has something to hide.. his response was like I do tell you what im doing but how does it matter who I hang out with..Is this attitude right.?

    1. Hmmmm.. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking innocently who he’s hanging out with. A guy AND girl who has nothing to hide won’t really have a problem divulging this information. It could also be possible that he’s just very private and wants to keep some mystery but I can totally understand your concern here. Sadly, the more he resists the more mistrust it creates. Are you worried he’s being dishonest?

  68. I been seeing a Cap guy for a little over 2 months and we have never had sex even though we have kissed passionately lol. I’m not going to go to in detail but it has been good between us but he is kind of struggling with finances I know right now. I’m a Cancer women and I started feeling I was always the one initiating contact even though he is quick to respond to my calls or text and always seem to ask me when he can see me again once I contacted him. I just don’t like to be the one initiating all contact in which I told him and he agreed to step up. Well 6 days ago I sent him a inspirational text message in return he sent me a text message saying this “I need someone like you who is willing to understand me. I don’t want you to go anywhere I just need time to get better established before I can give my time. I know this is some bs but I gotta do what’s best for me now but I do want you around” Ok so what exactly is he saying here? Do it seems he wants to keep me around or is a nice way of rejecting me?

    1. Well, he’s struggling with his finances. I can tell you that security is super important to Caps . It can keep one from actively pursuing a relationship if they don’t feel worthy of being able to financially pay their bills/stay afloat. Unfortunately, he’s told you how he feels. He has to basically put this relationship (YOU) on hold for now. I wouldn’t see it as rejection, he’s just not together right now personally and needs some alone time.

      Whether you’re willing to stick around is a whole other thing. He’s taking the risk of losing you because his life isn’t right yet. That, to me, sounds like a gamble. He could lose you forever and right now he’s basically okay with letting you go. How does he know you’re not going to meet the real man of YOUR dreams. You really could while you’re waiting for him to get it together.

      1. Thanks so much for your reply. So if it is not a complete rejection it is basically saying he is willing to lose me. What do you think he meant by saying he didn’t want me to go anywhere? I took it as either I want you to wait on me until he gets himself together or that he wants me to stick around and get whatever crumbs he throws my way?

        Its now been about 11 days since the last contact but I’m wondering do you think he will respect me more for not falling for this and not contacting him? Thanks for your insight

  69. (I dont know why I cant leave a reply after your respond hence I have to start a new post)

    Thanks for the advice I really appreciate. I am slowly getting better and trying to be more focus at work, however I still cant help thinking everyday that if he would message me back. I dont know how to deal with it if he is never going to contact me again… And about a week ago we had a small fight (or misunderstanding), I started a conversation with him first and he was engaging and asked how I have been etc, until I joked a bit about something he took it in an offensive way and ignored me again – I asked if he was pissed off about my joke he didnt respond the first day but the second day and said, he was not pissed off but just tired. (which I think he was still pissed off at that point..!)

    So i didnt message, I am confused, I started to joke which means I am being a positive me again but he cant take a joke, if I dont joke he thinks I am negative. I was literally pissed off at that point too so I didnt respond, and its been 5 days since last time we spoke. Its a long period of time for me really (considering I am a leo I really have no patience), what sort of time frame should I be giving myself, saying if he doesnt text back in certain period of time then I move on, or should I just keep waiting?

    1. He might have been pissed off, who really knows. As long as you’re not making HIM the butt of your jokes then it’s probably fine and it’ll blow over in a few days. Caps can be sensitive. Just give him some time and space. He’ll most likely come around after a week and a few days when he’s ready.

      Honestly, I wouldn’t worry. Don’t put yourself in that mindset. He should be the one to be worried, worried of losing you. Empower yourself and keep busy and keep having a life. I think this is attractive for many men, not just Caps. A woman that is sure and confident in herself is irresistible. If he’s going to be a fool and let you go then it’s really his loss, seriously. Another man who knows how valuable you are will snatch you up quick. A smart man won’t let it happen.

  70. Hi I am dating a Capicorn, have had a few dates and all went really well but now he left for work (traveling), telling me he hopes to see me when he is back. (I agreed;) and ever since I’ve heard nothing of him.. He is still on his work trip, comes back later this week.. But isn’t it weird that he is not texting me at all? Im not texting him either but still… Friends tell me he is just not interested. Normally guys text, I havent heard from him in 6 days now. Or should I just wait till he is back and see?

    1. Well, you could initiate yourself every once in a while. For every few times he texts or calls try shooting him a message for encouragement. You could send him a quick text to say “hello, how’s your trip going? Hope you’re _______.” Yes, they usually do text and call to show some interest but some may need a bit of a push. It’s okay to drop a line to say hello and ask what he’s up to. What I wouldn’t recommend is to drop a line and to keep texting/calling without a response from him.

      If you text him or call then wait for the response back. If no response after a few days then he’s probably not interested and you can write him off.

  71. I really dont understand what is going in his mind. Its been more than six months. At first he said that he’s fallen at first sight and said he’ll never leave me but in middle of these two months we spend together he said dat he wants a break and said dat he’ll not b wid any girl and nt with me as well but wat type of thing is this?? he has a g.f. now they two date infront of me nd I hav to act cold no matter wat. But I think this all happened bcoz of me at first, coz I was the one to ask fr brkup but I was just kiddin and he got serious.
    And in mid of this 6 months he ask me to b his friend. So admin do u think he’ll come back to me?

      1. Just move on from him. Anyone wanting a break from you is not as interested as he should be. I wouldn’t want to be friends with him. Think about yourself for now. He can’t have it both ways. I’m sorry.

  72. Hi! Love this article, just hope my cappy man is the same as you said…

    We have been seeing each other for almost 4 months already, things were great when first started – we met through a common friend, he doesn’t live at where I live but always travel here for work (he works in investment banking and has a very senior position) and hes always very busy, but at first after our 1st blind date everyday he initiated contacts, and during that 1.5 months hes never stopped contacting, wherever he went he would always let me know. Until we had our 4th and 5th date things started to get very emotional and I started to get attached, but hes never left me and always told me how much he cares/likes/adores me and even said would be stupid if he left me. (I am Leo girl by the way)He is always very mature and very calm and very independent. He even flew to where I live just to spend some time together the day before my birthday (as my birthday was a school day), but then after that we had an argument, tho he never fight back I was the one who went upset. But we had a chat and we were all fine and things went back to normal, although since after the fight hes stopped initiating on text messages, he called from time to time tho.

    2 weeks ago he went to London for work and I was joking and said I would go with him so I could shop, to my surprise he agreed hence I flew there for only 3 days to see him and everything was amazing, that was also the first time he took a girl to travel with him for work as well (he is 30 years old), we shared the same room same bed and we shared each others lives for 3 days. He was very busy everynight he came back he was just exhausted and didnt want to talk which I understood. The day I left London we had a chat, I was all very emotional because I realised I really really like this guy and Ive never felt like this in my life, I told him how I felt and I cried, to my surprise he dealt with my tears very well and told me how much he cares/likes me and how much he hated himself not being able to spend time with me and I flew all the way there for 3 days I must be exhausted etc, he said he would make it up for me, and he was very affectionate kissing my forehead my hair my lips. When I left I left him a card to express how much I adore him and thanks for letting me join him

    After I am back things seem changed, he was meant to leave the day I left but work got some problem they extended his stay in London and he was so frustrated and upset, he said to me he was very tired and worried about work and stressed out and he was sick, he said we should take a break and thanks for my understanding. We didnt talk for a few days, and then again it was me breaking the ice and told him I missed him I hope he was fine after a few days and I am always there for him. He wrote back thank you for everything and he really needed the space because work is too much to handle. We started to talk again but its me initiating everytime, and I really dont dare to call him I dont want to make it worse.

    Today I asked if I could ask him a question, he ignored me, I was actually meant to make a joke (as I sent him a youtube link its a funny video) to release some tension between us. So I ended up said to him that I only wanted to release the tension but I guess he still needed the space. He wrote back right away and said he didnt even have a chance to watch it. I left it like that.

    I think he still likes me as he is a man speaks his mind, but with all these sudden change I just dont know how to handle anymore, it was all very good 2 weeks ago we were sharing everything the connection was so strong, and he pulled back like this, I really want to go back to how it used to be, but again I dont know what to do anymore… Any advice please?

    1. It sounds like he just needs some space, like he said. If I were you I’d just give it to him. Either way, you’ll know soon how he truly feels because once we get the space we really need it’s only then that we feel good about reaching out again. It does sound like he’s into you but work can really screw things up. Caps are serious about the work situation and it really comes first. That’s the only way we feel secure enough in ourselves to provide for family. For now, just give him the space. After a few days he’ll probably reach out all on his own. Give him some time to miss you!

      1. Thanks for the advice, I talked to him during the weekend, honestly I dont know what to do anymore… He said he really likes me and doesnt want to hurt me, but I am expecting more and more day by day and he doesnt know how to handle it, he said he doesnt even have time for himself or his family. He also told me to think about if I actually want to carry on but if yes I will have to minimize my expectations… Then a few days later, I sent him a text but didnt respond, and the next day after I sent that text I sent a text again and asked if he was going to ignore me. He was a bit angry and said, he wasnt ignoring but I needed to be more positive and dont think about bad things, he said I am too negative at the moment and he doesnt like it and he said he is trying to help me (I am just having a lot of problems lately hence loads of negative energy)

        What does that mean? One day he says he cant give me what I want, the next day he doesnt want to give up on me. Does he actually want to work it out too? I am so confused now… appreciate if you could give me more feedback! thanks a lot

        1. Hi ConfusedLeo,
          Well, I just think you need to give him some space here. Caps are notorious for needing that alone time, I really can’t stress it enough. It’s nothing personal, believe me. Right now, I’d keep busy and focus on you. If you’re going through some personal issues, now is a good time to focus on yourself and work on bettering the situation. Give him some time to miss you. He can’t do that when you are texting or calling more often than is necessary.

          1. Thanks a lot for the respond. I will definitely leave him for now and see how it goes. Its holiday coming up this week for us (we are in the Middle East) so I get to clear my mind up too by spending time with myself. I just get worry that he doesnt want to be with me anymore, how can I turn things around and make him interested again? I never really invested my time and energy to a guy because I always think they are the wrong ones, but since I met him everythings changed and this is the first time I really really want someone…

          2. “How can I turn things around and make him interested again?” I’ll tell you what helps, get busy with your life and focus on YOU. The fact that you won’t drop everything for him will most likely make you more attractive to not just him but other strong men. Go out with friends, have your fun, take some leisure classes, whatever you can do. Keep your confidence and stay strong. Confidence is very attractive and we can’t help but be pulled in.

          3. Should I be worried if he doesnt come around? Its been 5 days (I know it sounds silly, but its been very LONG for me..). I am doing my best not to think about it and be me again, doing ok so far but I cant help keep thinking if he is going to come around.. its been a few months since I am seeing him, I know its pretty short period of time but I really dont want to lose it..

  73. I met this man on an on-line dating site. Was very reluctant in dating him and let him know this because of his profession (pilot). But with a lot in common and spending more time together, I fell for him rather quickly. But I did tell him right away, that I was not going to sleep with him anytime soon. That I liked him and wanted to build a foundation and develop a friendship. There was just something about him that I wanted things to be just right. He was ok with that , stating it was a nice change than what he was use too. Ok, so things are going well and when he hears I might be getting this other job, which would change my life and had him come to my place for the first time….he told me he has come to some clarity and it was wrong timing for us and took all romance of the table. he said he wanted to be a part of my life but all the emotions, phone calls and texting were getting quite overwhelming and he needed to throttle back some and see where the next few months were going to take us. SO, I took it hard but I was going to be the coolest female friend he had and accept this. (mind you he has a lot of female friends…all over the US). So being jealous, was one thing I learned can not be displayed. But the week after, he told me he had a female friend (who he dated years back and is platonic friends with now) is coming to stay with him for 3 weeks. I asked if this was part of the reason he took everything off the table. He said no. Well that happened 3 weeks ago and then a week after that I noticed he was irritated with me and his texting was almost to nothing. He stopped calling & texting and when he wouldn’t respond…I sent him 4 texts the one day wanting answers, accused him of having someone else (Basically, questioning his integrity) and asked why he’s not responding. 5 mins later (this was the next day) he sends back a text saying cease and desist. You have not only sabotaged any friendship but all romantic as well. I wish you much happiness. Plz do not contact me anymore. This text has left me heartbroken. He judged my character as a crazy lady. DO you think he will call me when this other woman leaves to go home? We have so much n common and the attraction was definitely there on both sides. Please help?? do I try the no contact rule and give him his space? I want him to come back!

    1. Hi M,
      I’m sorry this happened. If he likes you or was ever interested, it’s possible he’ll be back. He was probably just upset at the time. Having said that, I do think it was not a good sign that he initially took romance/dating off the table. It’s just something that can be an indication of disinterest. Any man who is willing to throw you back out there is taking the risk of losing you. You might have met or still can meet someone else who values your time/company more. Anyway, if he doesn’t come back I wouldn’t feel bad. You really want someone who is VERY interested and not just semi-interested.

  74. Been dating 51 year old cap guy for 2 months, I’m a 45 year old libra lady.
    It was instant connection, attraction, conversation etc…. He has been very romantic, holding hands and even kissing in public, which I hear is not typical for the cap guy. He is a loner for the most part and goes on a yearly trip to the mountains, he said he likes the solitude and does not contact anyone. This year he decided to go to Canada for half the week and would not be texting or calling. I was ok with that. I took him to airport and was going to pick him up at the end if the 10 days. I started to get depressed when his 6 days in canada was over and I thought for sure he would at least text me from Seattle or Denver when he got to airport for the second part of his trip. He contacted me the night before he was coming back and started a text with just “hi” we texted back and fourth. I did not ask about him not contacting me, I stayed cool, but he offered up that he was anxious to see me and that the trip was rewarding and he stayed in the moment! He told me he loved me last week and I thought, he would have missed me enough to at least text or email 1 time.
    Advice please…

    1. Well, to be fair.. he did tell you he wouldn’t be texting or calling during that time. He let you know in advance so you wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think that there’s anything for you to worry about here. He’s honest about liking the solitude, as you said. Caps need that alone time to recharge batteries. If this happened all the time I’d probably be more concerned but it was his yearly alone trip. Now that he’s back do you feel better? Does he contact you regularly and is he consistent?

  75. Hello, i met this cap guy online and i had a feeling that we clicked immediatly, we have been talking for 3 weex online now, he lives over the seas and he told me he will fly to see me soon, he seemed very open about his feelings at the beginning, he even said that he really likes me and then he said he loved me be4 i say it to him, he even said he wants me and wants to propose! After the 1st week i gave him my number and asked for his, he didn’t reply till the other day saying he faced a problem where his phone got “crushed”. So its been 2 weex after it and he “still” hasn’t got a phone! Which i cant believe of course, now he is acting hot and cold after asking me about my feelings for him and i told him im waiting 4 him to fly here and i worry alot if something bad happened to him which i really mean since i care for him. So now i text him once or twice a day and he rarely replys the next day. I feel he is being manipulative lately after i told that i liked him, he is acting distant and replys with short sentences. I plan to move on and stop texting him, is this the right way to deal with him? Im a sag girl and i really cannot tolerate boys who have emotional insecurities! He was acting like a real gentleman at 1st, and was very open about his feelings which i liked ALOT! But now all i can see is a boy who is maybe scared or insecure about his feelings and he doesn’t even trust me with his number even i did give him mine, im a sagg but mysterious men are a major turn off for me!! I hate people who are not clear and straightforward specially with their emotions! If i like u or hate u i say it, no turning back! His msgs seemed very sencere, and he made me feel like he REALLY meant every word he said, but the last few days made me very skptical and doubtful about his intentions. He even comes up with excuses when ever i ask him for more photos of him. Although he didn’t get many photos of me either, but sometimes he would lose his cool side and start talking a lil dirty which i would try to avoid politly or in a fun way, i don’t recall hurting his feelings or anything, i even told him i will wait till the date he gave me for him to fly here, which will end soon. Any ideas about my next step? should i stop txting/asking about him? should i 4get him and move on?

    1. This sounds like bad news. For one, he never gave you his number and made up an excuse about his phone being “crushed.” It sounds like he’s either already attached to someone or is not interested enough. I would let this guy go. Another thing, he also told you he loved you after 3 wks? Keep in mind that you have not met him yet and until you do that, both of you haven’t had a chance to really get to know each other. I would hold off on texting and calling. If he’s serious about this, he’ll make much more of an effort here. Right now, it’s just him talking.

  76. I met this guy(Cap) online. He just moved to the USA and had a month off before starting work(I met him about three days after his arrival.He starts work tomorrow). We went on two dates back to back. The first date went well. We are both ambitious, playful ,I, to his surprise, speak quite a bit of his native language, etc etc. Towards the end he mentioned us going out downtown and going to the zoo. In the end he said “you are the busy one so you call or text me.”(I had let him know i work and study fulltime so I have 80+hours weeks).I felt a tad uncomfortable bc I am used to the guy taking the lead. The next day I asked how he was feeling bc he had been complaining about back problems.He asked when I was going to invite him over for dinner and I responded in a not so encouraging way. I told him we had just met. we should get to know each other and see if we both are interested before he gets an invite over.On the saturday it pained me bc I had already initiated, but I asked him about the zoo. We ended up going and we spent 7 or so hours together. It ended at my place for a movie night. He made numerous references to the future and told me he was going to show me he was a good guy(this comment was a tad random).He mentioned us going to his home one point i had offered to cook and he said no, no. he will order food.He didnt want me to do anything , but relax. If i want to cook for him just call him and he will come(again this leaves it up to me)).At one point his roommate called and sent his greetings to me. Apparently, they had been talking about me.He told me his roomie was excited bc he was seeing me again. He then had me his account information to his best friend bc he didnt have signal(I thought this was odd since he hadnt been around me long enough to know if I am a crazy stalker.)He left saying he had a good time.He gave me a passionate kiss and told me he was going to wait(he was talking about sex bc i had made it clear on date one that it wasn’t happening soon) 3 days passed and I was hoping this time around he would contact me. He didnt and so I sent a playful text. He always responds immediately. After that I left things as were. He initiated contact by the weekend and was very talkative and flirty. He will talk to me every 4-5 days and makes references to doing things, but he doesnt ask for a third date. He outright has told me he has been bored sitting around all day. (When we talk he usually gives me a run down of what he has been doing and will be doing.)I am not sure if he isnt interested, is stringing me along, its a sex thing, or he is busy with other women. I know that it started off w me chasing in a way, but he kind of set it up that way.I have now stopped and wait for him to do things. I am used to guys being more aggressive.Is he being a capricorn,is it bc he hasnt been working, or is he just not that into me?I have heard that when capricorns are interested, you know and they chase.

    1. oops I knwo my post is already ridiculously long, but I had one more thing to add. He doesnt have internet on his phone. The few times that we have text sometimes he gets flustered because he doesnt understand a word Ive used and he cant look it up.

    2. Well yes, I agree that you and he sort of set it up for YOU to be the one to initiate. I know it feels off, especially when you’re used to being pursued. There’s nothing wrong with that either. In general, I think men will value what they have to work harder for. That’s just my opinion and others are free to disagree.

      It’s ALSO possible that his might be due, not to disinterest but to insecurity on his part. At the same time though, it sounds very lazy to me. I mean, everyone is busy and works and sometimes, yes, we get turned down because it doesn’t fit a schedule but that doesn’t mean he can’t be the one to ask you out and give you some encouragement here. He knows that you’re interested because you obviously ask him out and prompt him.

      If he’s not secure in himself then this can fall flat if he won’t pursue. Either way, if he’s insecure or disinterested, it’s not going to work. You do whatever your most comfortable with but if it were me, I’d pull back and let him initiate more. Otherwise, I get the feeling it’ll start to feel off and unbalanced to you.

  77. Hi I was dating a capricorn man for a year and I moved to other side of the world with him cos his visa ran out , he broke up with me 2 months later but he was devastated he cried and made him self sick for days he than flew me home and told me he still loved me and I will always be his baby girl at the airport saying goodbye , he now won’t respond to me and is ignoring me .. I’m very confused on the whole situation as to what happened and how now he can be so cold

    1. Hi LJ,
      I’m sorry to hear that. ((Hugs to you)) Long distance relationships can be really tough. It just might be that he’s decided it’s not something that he can fully commit to. It doesn’t mean he does not or did not love you, it’s just that at this moment it’s tough to make it work out. All you can do now is accept that he doesn’t want this. His lack of response is answer enough. I’m sorry.

  78. This website is really helpful!!
    I have dated a Capricorn man for over a year, he’s 2 hours far from my town, but we used to date together once in two weeks usually, but he was truly into me, and we used to write so much messages through cell phones all day long. The main problem is that he is eight years older than me, we have 2 months without talking, I tried to write to him, to tell to him what went wrong but he’s ignoring me. He said that everything is over, and that we are not going to talk again. I can’t believe that this is going to happen..What to do? Do you have any advice? And how are my chances to get back with him? Because I can’t understand how can go from loving someone madly to completely ignoring him..Thank you so much :*

    1. Hi Suada,
      If he’s ignoring you then follow his lead and do the same to him. Many things are possible, but take into consideration that you live a few hours from each other. The distance can really get to people who want to be closer to each other. I’m sorry, I wish I had better news. All you can do now is keep yourself busy, busy, busy and do something nice for yourself. Go out with your friends, join a new club, socialize and just get productive. This will help a lot to keep your mind off him.

  79. Hello,
    Last year I was introduced by a friend to this capy guy. He is very shy. We dated several months, but he was very quiet, seen each other around three times/month (him or me asking for the date). Mostly talking online as we both suck at talking on the phone. In words and act he sometime seemed to like me, sometimes was really distant. He is very busy, working hard to gather some money and having problems with his long ill brother…but still. He knew how I fell for him, as I told him, he instead did not opened up. There were only kissing and cuddle holding hand (sometimes), he never put a clear invitation to his place (even if I suggested it). At one point he started to prefer going out in much more private locals, yet still, nothing more. When, after eight months, I started a conversation to understand if we are having a relationship or just casual dating he pulled back saying my feelings are to strong and we should no see each other, and again, after a few days, that he though we could work,but he does not love me (in a later text he was sorry to being to harsh in that discussion…but stood on his position).
    I am scattered in tiny bits …and he just insist to get over and go on. Tried dating again but I fell like crap, even if a guy is interested in me, I cannot open up…I care only for him! We remained in touch, friends, but he is there listening to me (he, as always never talks to much), helping each other, friendly towards his family I never told him that my work was affected, deadlines not respected, still crashing and crying, and I stopped telling him what I feel about him.Its over six months now. Per total I see that he is too much there for me, for a guy that does not care for me.
    At some point we met again to lend me something. I was dress to impress, but…so was he, wearing a sweater he knew I like very much (which is not usually wearing it) and a shirt which was a present from me. We had a nice conversation, was more open in some parts (family) and even stretched his hand over my chair (for a minute or two).
    And then again, after, emails conversations were again strictly friends….
    Are capys playing games? What can I do? If I let some else close to me, he will think I was not true to him and not worth his attention?

    1. Hi Criss,

      Well, you were definitely smart to have “the talk” with him after 8 months of seeing each other. Unfortunately, he stated that he didn’t feel the same way. I’m sorry that it took that long for him to finally fess up. If I were you, I’d give yourself some space from this guy. You say it’s been 6 months but you’ve been having email conversations with him, right? It’s hard to get over someone when they are still a strong presence in your life.

      This is not to say you can’t be friends later on but for now, you need to cut him off and think of yourself here. He may want you as a friend, but you need time to heal first. This isn’t going to happen and it’ll make it very hard to get over him when he is still around. Be fair and honest with yourself. Accept what he said as the truth and know that the right man is out there for you. First, focus on YOU and pull away from him. You need the space to get over him.

  80. Thank you so soo much. I had to rethink what u said. Because I love someone doesn’t mean I have to die for them. If he contacts me again to meet up (which I’m not planning on doing) or for any other reason when he gets back , do u think I should just ignore the message totally cus I don’t wanna seem childish by blocking him off my skype even after his fake Apology. Cus it’s obvious he messaged me so when he comes back he can try to manipulate me in bed again and I’m not ready for that .

    1. I would just tell him that you’re not available/have a busy schedule. He should eventually get the hint. Again, be careful and keep yourself safe!

  81. Hello,
    I have been dating Capricorn man for about two months. I really like him and I would want this to work, but at the same time I don’t want to waste my time. He lives 3 hours away from me, he came to visit me three times, and I have visited him once.

    He has advised me that he will be busy for few weeks and might not be able to see me, which I understand. The issue is that our communication needs work, and that
    is where I am struggling, I am not sure how to engage him more in talking to me, it is important that we talk especially if we do not see each other for a month. I don’t want to call him, but he rarely calls me, when we are together we have an amazing time, he hugs me and
    kisses me a lot- does that mean that he likes me? Or does he only do it because he wants affection for himself?

    Also- a year ago he broke up with his ex, and he has been telling me that it is truly over between them too, but somehow I think that she might be coming back. Do they tend to take their ex’s back, or if its over for Capricorn
    its truly over?

    1. Hello Amanda,

      Long distance relationships can be tough, but they are not impossible! I think it’s difficult for you because Capricorns are usually very hesitant with reaching out to partners AND communicating. This is always an issue w/ those that are not used to the silence.

      Some Caps can go days without communicating to loved ones and perhaps even longer. I think if he really cares for you he WILL listen and take your feelings into account. It is definitely important to keep the lines of communication open during that time. You can make a suggestion to try a SKYPE date and make it fun (both of you can drink wine or maybe eat together, play a game). Pay attention to how he responds, he should be open to talking a bit more, especially since he won’t be seeing you. It’s about compromise and he should definitely be open to it.

      The only thing that I’d be concerned about is if he refuses to increase the communication during his busy time. Bear in mind, it won’t be a lot but he should do enough to try and make you happy. Don’t be afraid to bring up your needs!

      1. Thank you so much for your response! I did tell him that communication is important to me, and that I would like us to talk more often because that is the only way to communicate while we are apart. He has not changed anything as of yet,, does that mean he doesn’t care? Should I wait until he contacts me and see how it goes? I don’t want to chase him, but at the same time I don’t want to lose him because we did not communicate well enough. When were together past weekend everything was fine, but since then we have talked only twice. Thanks again! – Amanda

        1. What did he say when you told him you’d like to talk more often? If you don’t talk every single day, I also would NOT worry. He probably needs that distance. Keep in mind that he also needs time to MISS you. I guess that it’s a delicate balance.

          No, definitely don’t chase him, he needs to be the one to do the pursuing but he has to do it on his own and not be reminded.

          1. He said that he is busy with work/sports, and that usually he just calls if he has something to talk about. Thank you for your answer!

          2. I did not do anything wrong to the Capricorn man, and he broke up with me without saying anything. I am not sure what to do now, should I just move on, or should I give him time? I don’t want him to think that I do want to move on, but also I don’t want to be a doormat. Do Capricorn man break up with a reason, or do they run away if they are unsure of the relationship? Everything was fine, and then he stopped talking to me. I am so confused. I am not sure if this is astrology related at all, but I am just hurt by his actions and how he treated me,,, I would like to have an explanation but he is not giving me one.

          3. Hi Amanda,
            I’m really sorry to hear that. Did you ask him? He most likely will NOT volunteer that info. It could be the distance, it’s tough to keep it going or he may have just realized it wasn’t going to work.

  82. Hello. I hope this website is still working

    I met this capricon guy on twitter but I was friends with his brother in reality, his brother was interested in me but I never answered him. I only met him once in my country at a party and from that time on, his brother followed me on twitter and we casually talked but he knew I wasn’t interested cus I never even went to see him for once. At that time I was also chatting with the capricon dude but I never knew he had a brother I knew until later but I wasn’t bothered cus nothing went on anyways.

    After sometime I left to the Middle East to study which is 6hrs away from my country and at that time I wasn’t really giving the capricorn dude attention cus I hadn’t seen him before so it was awkward . He messaged me one day that he would also be coming to the middle east to study as well and we would have the chance to meet since I wasn’t sure of when I was going back to my country.

    When he came, he blew me off with his words that I gave it up on the first day we met at my apartment. I was so stupid but it’s happened already. After a while, the communication went strong and later on he stopped talking to me. When I realized, I just gave him space and he came back after 2 months . And invited me to his home to sleep over. Time passed by and I decided to let him know how much I liked him and to my suprise I saw a text from a girl on his phone saying she misses him and all that.

    I confronted him and he told me the truth that he was dating her and that was immediately after we had sex at his place. I felt so broken but I was happy he told me the truth then immediately he tried having sex with me again and I refused, I told him I really liked him but I can’t be a booty call for someone that is already in a relationship and knows pretty well I like him .

    So I left and few months later I was pregnant, it’s illegal in the Middle East to be pregnant without being married and when I told him he told me to give him sometime to figure things out only for me to see his pics of him turning up on Instagram and whatsapp .

    I kept calling and texting him cus I used my school fees to get pills illegally but it didn’t work for the pregnancy. The illegal doctor had to call him up to tell him about how my mom disowned me cus she found out and how I’m in no contact with my dad and I’m stranded here cus I don’t have any options left.

    He told the doctor he was ready to stick to any decision i make about the pregnancy and that he would come and visit me after his exams so we could talk about it. The doctor also told him about my Blood pressure and health issues that were affecting me at that point in time and he acted like he was taking everything serious.

    Before i knew it he called me after like two days and told me he misses me and he wanted to check on my health cus of what the doctor had told him. After like 2 weeks , this guy traveled back to my country without seeing me or contacting me. I saw photos of him at the airport. I was stranded and hopeless. I texted him before he traveled that I’d never chase him again because I don’t need him for his money or anything i just need him to own up to what we both caused and after that last message I told him I’d never disturb him again.

    Whatever happens to me so be it. After 2 weeks he left without saying anything and I also gave him the space despite my condition. One fateful day I had an accident and I lost the baby, I went through hell all through that time and I moved on anyways.

    Can u imagine this guy contacted me after 3 months on my skype and I didn’t reply his message until a week later.
    I was like “what? He now called me and told me he doesn’t know how to start explaining to me cus he knows I’m mad at him , I told him there was no need for any explanation and he asked if I had settle the “stuff” and I was like ure smart u should know , he was like from ur pictures u seem really happy so I guess u have settled it: he now asked about my school and I reminded him that i couldn’t still go back and he was like he’s coming this weekend so he wants us to see and talk and I was like hopefully to him in a sarcastic way . Then he said how have I been?

    I was like very perfect and he said okay. After one day, he sent me a skype message that “you’ve got a wonderful heart, I’m sorry for the way I handled the situation ” and my reply was “aii” . So now I’m planning to ignore him totally when he comes so he would understand what that hopefully meant .

    But I really do like him . I’m not just sure about anything cus I think if I ignore him I can be able to take control cus he knew how much I loved him but I want him to see that I’ve changed, I’m not that girl that used to obsess over him and get all emotional but still I just don’t get why he popped up out of the blue when he suspected I’ve terminated the pregnancy.

    Even after he confirmed he still messaged me. I don’t wanna be his booty call when he’s back. I want to ignore him but I don’t know if he would contact me when he’s back and I don’t why he popped up, I don’t know how to make him chase me over again. Please help !!!

    1. Zolaa,
      If I were you, I’d be very careful about getting involved with a man like this. From what you wrote, it seems like he just took off (while you were still pregnant) and didn’t even bother to check back until 3 months later??! Your life was in jeopardy at that time and he basically disappeared on you. Whatever you do, don’t sleep with him again until you are absolutely sure you can handle what can happen again. He may take off once more when he’s gotten what he wants.

      A man that is truly interested in you, (Capricorn or not) will not leave you wondering about what happened to him. He won’t make you doubt his feelings for you. He will either TELL you and/or SHOW you how much he cares and you will feel it. Your best bet is to keep your options fully open and don’t settle for less than what you deserve. He’s shown you the type of man he is. I hope you stay safe!

  83. I’m very much in love with a cap and could use some objective advice, but I find it hard to post my story out in the open… Is there any way to get some feedback by email? Thanks.

  84. Hello, do you think he was a unevolved cap or just didn’t have a emotional attachment to me? Just curious ..

  85. Hello, well at this point I have decided to give up on my Cap. It’s been 11 days and I guess he couldn’t have cared about me or had any emotional attachment to me at all . I feel so silly and blindsided by it all . In his actions up to that point before we had the argument he was great . I feel like that one argument made him look at me different or something and it wasn’t my fault . I’m really hurt that he would lie and do what he said he wasn’t going to do . I have never had someone disappear on me like this . It’s just beyond cruel to me . I just don’t know what happened but I guess I never will.

    1. Hi Christy,

      He may reach out eventually, but it could take some more time. I’m sorry that you’ve decided to move on but you have to do what’s best for you. I know it’s hard, but waiting for him to reach out is one of the best ways to ensure he wants/is ready to move forward with you. I wish you all the best and hope you keep me posted!

  86. Yes he is 40 this is hard , I’m going to wait . If he hadn’t said I was needy or that I was a distraction I probably would have by now . It’s like I feel I need to prove in some way that I’m not . He told me he feels he set the bar to high in the beginning because I told him that he set the pace and I just followed and it wasn’t my fault I was expecting certain things from him .. Because it wasn’t my fault since he set the tone of the relationship. But it’s like now I’m NEEDY for expecting the same behavior ..I just feel so foolish for telling him that I really care from him .

    1. First, there’s Nothing wrong with telling him you care. If he’s going to bolt or take off from this then he wasn’t right for you anyway. Stay strong and keep yourself busy. Get into a project that will occupy a ton of time!

  87. Thank you , I am just so hurt . I know I have to wait it out but I have never had this happen to me. I just don’t know why he would say this “Sorry about yesterday. Didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted or like I don’t have feelings for you because i do. Just a long week”. And just disappear . Do you think my response was appropriate I just said “ok “.Should I have said more ? Do you think from that he would have thought I didn’t want to talk to him ? This is just so hurtful .. I thought he cared about me .

    1. I’m sure he does care, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t. Caps can go several days without talking to their significant others and it’s not a big deal for them. He’s in his 40’s, right? It’s possible, he might be waiting for you to reach out to him. We can be so set in our ways sometimes. I think you just need to follow your gut on this one. If it feels right to you then do it.

  88. Hello, still no word from my cap. What should I do ? I read that when their not interested they disappear , do think him disappearing for a week now means he was to much of a coward to say that he wasn’t interested anymore ? I just don’t know why he would send that last text if he wanted out . I am afriad to contact him because I don’t want to push but I’m starting to think from his silence he just lost interested. He told that he didn’t want me to take it like he didn’t want to kto talk to me or that he didn’t want to see me . Should I just give up hope or is this normal for him ?

    1. Hi Christy,
      Sorry for the delay. If it’s been more than a week then I’d think be concerned. The thing is, you can’t force a response from him. If he is interested he will contact you. The ball is in his court now. I know it’s hard but this is how you know if they are truly interested in moving forward. In general, Caps are very straightforward. Right about now, he may be regretting telling you the things he said, because it’s obvious you are not needy. Let him think about them.

  89. Thanks again for the response, do cap men from your knowledge lead you on or play games ? My gut is saying to leave it be and that if he really wants me , than he will contact me but at this point I’m unsure . I feel like sometimes , did he just apologize because he didn’t want to seem like a real jerk . He is 40 yrs and seems to be very mature but It will be 4 days today and that’s honestly the longest we have ever gone without talking in someway . He already accused me of being needy which I don’t believe I am , and that alone makes me not want call and I keep thinking maybe he has met someone else . I always read they are straight forward people and don’t lead you on but I guess because he said that he still wants to see me and talk I thought he would have called . I never dated anyone that has done this and we our not exclusive but both agreed we wanted to take it slow and we didn’t wNt anything casual . I have totally fallen for this man and I’m afraid he is having doubts . I know I can control what he does I’m just so confused . Actually I’m feeling heartbroken because I just don’t know which way this will go . I am going to wait but the silence from him makes me think he may just disappear . Do they usually do that to people they care about ? Especially if they are unsure if this will work out ?he didn’t seem like a liar but I just thought by now he would wonder why I haven’t checked on him . This is so hard ..I am trying to stay busy but mind and heart keep drifting back to him and if this is really over .

  90. Thank you for your response. Still know word from him and it’s tough for me but I haven’t reached out to him . I am also feeling vulnerable because in the midst of our last conversation I told him I cared about him a lot . He didn’t say anything back , but then he said he had feelings for me the day after . Do you think he would just come out and say it if he didn’t want to date anymore ? This is the first time that we have gone a weekend without him asking me out or not talking . Yes, he made it clear he wanted to have some alone time over the weekend . I just thought l would hear from him today for sure . it feels like mixed signals to me .. It’s confusing . Yes, in his words he said he still wanted to see me and still talk but In his actions it feels like he doesn’t want to be bothered . Should I have said more when I replied “ok” ? I know I’m rambling , this is just so odd to me ..

    1. Christy,
      You just need to follow your gut. If it was me, I’d hold off on contacting him just to give him space and the alone time he wanted. Of course if it’s been a few more days and you haven’t heard you can always shoot him a “how are you” message. For now, keep yourself busy. His actions will speak much louder than his words– and we know that there can be very few of those when it comes to cappys.

  91. Thank you for your response to my other post, it helped tremendously. I have one other question/concern. This past Friday his uncle had a graduation out of town and he asked me to go with him and spend the night at his relatives house. We don’t officially have a title and I was terrified to go with him since we aren’t technically “dating”. Could this mean he just wants to keep me in the “friend zone”? I mean, he could see me as a friend that he cares about and just wanted us to be around his family.

    The previous morning before we left to go out of town, I took him to the hospital as he was VERY VERY sick and he said he couldn’t thank me enough and that everything I do for him doesn’t go unnoticed. Could this mean he is trying to take things further or should I just not look to deep into it?

    1. Hi Suthern Belle!

      I’m not sure which post you’re referring to? If I know the backstory here, I may be able to answer your question a bit better.

      1. This was the backstory:

        I have been dealing with a Capricorn guy for about 5 1/2 months now. We met through his god sister and hit it off instantly. I have never felt such a spark but I ignored it for a while since I had just got out of a long emotionally draining relationship. A few weeks went by and he would come over almost everyday, sometimes even at 2 or 3 in the morning after he got off work. We seemed to not be able to get enough of each other.

        Soon thereafter, he started having financial problems and I was there to help him with whatever he needed help with. His situation got so bad that he had to stay with me for a little while, it was fine with me since I adored him. He stayed with me for almost a month and once he got things situated with his house, he went back home. I didn’t hear from him as much as I did before so I would text him occasionally to check on him and he would come around every now and then but not as much as he did before. We would go to the movies every now and then and also out to eat occasionally. He then started to disappear for weeks at a time.

        I did some spying on him one day since I was fed up with him lying to me about coming to see me and that particular day I decided to see what the “real deal” was so I kinda followed him. He invited his god sister and myself out to eat earlier that day. Coming to find out, he ended up going out to eat with a different girl, I saw them come out of the restaurant together. After ignored texts and calls from his god sister that day, it made me furious because he could have at least answered the texts and let us know that he had a change in plans.

        I don’t understand why he ignores commitments he makes, he would invite us or me and not follow through with it. Later that day after I saw them leave the restaurant, I became furious and started to cry, my friend who introduced us decided that she should intervene since I was so distraught by the events of the whole day. I also sent him a lengthy text and before I knew it he was at my house! I explained to him how I really felt about him and he said I should have told him a long time ago because he feels the same way about me. I’m just unsure as to where this is going because I still rarely talk to him and he doesn’t come by as often but when he does we cant stop smiling and laughing with each other! Help!!!!!!!!

        1. So, it sounds like you two never really became “official” as a couple, am I correct? It sounds like it was casual from the very beginning. The thing about cappies, we admire people who know what they want. If you know you want him to be your boyfriend/want to get serious with him then act like it. Don’t ever stand for broken commitments from him or any other man. Once or twice is okay w/ a VALID excuse but when it is repeated cancellations then that should tell you that something is not right or he isn’t serious.

          A man who is interested in you will not break commitments and promises he’s made. Has he taken you out on any dates? Going out on dates/outings is very important to help you two form a bond. It’s nice you can kick back at your home but you need to be more social together and go out more. Don’t accept anything less from him.

          1. Yes, that is correct, we haven’t became “official” yet, we both decided to take things slow since we have experienced so many bad relationships in the past. I have told him what I want and he knows it since we discuss it. He has a lot going on in his life that needs to be resolved before we can continue and go further. I agree, he does make promises that he doesn’t keep often but he’s getting better at it. We have went on some dates, one date in particular, he wanted me to meet his cousins and they met us there. I have been around his family more and more lately. I guess I just have to see where this goes.

  92. Hello again , I am just wondering if his apology was sincere ? I don’t know why but I get the impression that he is unsure of me or something . This is the first cappyI have ever dated . im just honestly feeling very insecure in his feelings for me . I’m just scared I won’t hear from him ,. I really care about him a lot . We always have a wonderful time together . I’m just worried I guess .. This is the first weekend we have never been together at least once .. Sorry if I sound silly .. Lol just really like this guy .

    1. Hi Christy,

      Well, I do think it was sincere. Right now all you can do is respect what he said, though. Yes, he overreacted but I’d still be cautious and give him some space. After all, he wanted it! And don’t worry, if he’s invested those months talking to you, I don’t think he’ll walk away that easily. Give him some space and I think you’ll hear from him soon.

  93. Just to add , he did come on very strong at first in the sense of being very open about how he was feeling and his actions were matching his words . But now it seems things have slowed . He is not being emotionally open but was still asking me over and cooking me dinner .

  94. Hi..
    I have been dating a cappy for 3 months and things have been going well until the other day . I called him the other day and texted and I guess he was still at work wish I wasn’t sure of . He calls me back and I asked if he wanted to do dinner or something the next day and then he tells me he has had a long week and wants some me time this weekend . I wAs find with it but I heard this attitude in his voice . He is training for this bodybuilding competition and I have noticed that between work and that , that seems to be his Priorty . Anyway , he proceeds to tell me we need to talk about us and that lately I have been doing things to annoy him and i am needy to him . I asked him in what way and he tells me that sometimes when I text him and he is still at work it’s annoying and that sometimes I’m needy for time . I just was really blindsided . He does all the intating and I have asked only twice about seeing him . He told me he is really focused on this competition and I am like a distraction .. Bascailly I felt he was projecting anger or frustrating on to me . Everything just seemed so great then this . he did text me the next day and said I’m sorry for yesterday . I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted or that I don’t have feelings for you because I do . It just has been a long week . I did respond and just said ok but I haven’t heard a word from him since and it’s been two days . I could have said a lot more but did not wAnt to send an emotional text .What should I do ??? I have not tried to contact him since he said all that stuff to me .

    1. Hi Christy!
      Well, I think you’re doing the right thing by not contacting him for now. It sounds like he was just really stressed out and projecting. Sometimes we can take things out on the people we really care the most about. You didn’t deserve that at all. For now, I would definitely take a step back and give him some space and just wait for him to contact you. He really needs to be the one to do that as he made it clear he needed some “me” time.

      That does NOT mean you have anything to worry about, Caps really do need a lot of space and quite a bit of alone time which can be really disheartening to eager romantic partners. If I were you, I’d get busy and enjoy some time with your girlfriends, have lunch/dinner with family. Find an extra hobby to keep you busy. It sounds like he’ll be in touch shortly when he recharges his batteries!!

      Keep me posted.

  95. I have been dealing with a Capricorn guy for about 5 1/2 months now. We met through his god sister and hit it off instantly. I have never felt such a spark but I ignored it for a while since I had just got out of a long emotionally draining relationship. A few weeks went by and he would come over almost everyday, sometimes even at 2 or 3 in the morning after he got off work. We seemed to not be able to get enough of each other.

    Soon thereafter, he started having financial problems and I was there to help him with whatever he needed help with. His situation got so bad that he had to stay with me for a little while, it was fine with me since I adored him. He stayed with me for almost a month and once he got things situated with his house, he went back home. I didn’t hear from him as much as I did before so I would text him occasionally to check on him and he would come around every now and then but not as much as he did before. We would go to the movies every now and then and also out to eat occasionally. He then started to disappear for weeks at a time.

    I did some spying on him one day since I was fed up with him lying to me about coming to see me and that particular day I decided to see what the “real deal” was so I kinda followed him. He invited his god sister and myself out to eat earlier that day. Coming to find out, he ended up going out to eat with a different girl, I saw them come out of the restaurant together. After ignored texts and calls from his god sister that day, it made me furious because he could have at least answered the texts and let us know that he had a change in plans.

    I don’t understand why he ignores commitments he makes, he would invite us or me and not follow through with it. Later that day after I saw them leave the restaurant, I became furious and started to cry, my friend who introduced us decided that she should intervene since I was so distraught by the events of the whole day. I also sent him a lengthy text and before I knew it he was at my house! I explained to him how I really felt about him and he said I should have told him a long time ago because he feels the same way about me. I’m just unsure as to where this is going because I still rarely talk to him and he doesn’t come by as often but when he does we cant stop smiling and laughing with each other! Help!!!!!!!!

    1. Well, you said you ignored the way you felt considering you were fresh out of a long relationship. It’s possible he picked up on that and decided to keep his distance. If you tell a Cap something we will believe you but we’ll also look at your actions. Actions do speak louder than words. So if you were distancing yourself then he felt it and followed suit. If you’re ready to give this a try then be honest with yourself and with him. You’re either all in or out with a Cap.

  96. I got to know cap 5 weeks ago on website and could chat day and nite and he would listen to my stories and have a good laugh however, only basic things i know about him, his family, his siblings, where he works. We have yet to meet for he says he is travelling and it doesn’t bother me for we were chatting all day all nite for 5 weeks…suddenly something i said that made me write me off with no reasoning and me being one that will not give up unless he says it’s over, wrote three times and finally today saw him on chatline, apologised again and he says i am worst than stalker, writing remarks on chatline haha told me he was my only friend in this website..though we chat, but feel so distance, he kept saying that he thinks i am toying with him and me, never had a bf before, am going HUH…you are right, taking it easy and if it’s mine, it’s mine, if it’s not, no point trying for it will never be…ps. i am a cancerian hahaha

    1. Hi Sunshine,

      Sorry for the delay in responding. It sounds like you two got your wires crossed. Give him a bit of space and see what comes from it. Really, this is your best bet.

  97. I am SO confused. I have been seeing this Capricorn man for over a year and a half now and I don’t get him at all lately. I am SO attracted to him in every way and think he likes me. He texts me and I text him almost every other day. He travels a HUGE amount but will text me from where he is at almost everyday or every other day. I just saw him a day ago and I was SO happy to see him. However, I went to use his spare bathroom and there were samples of shampoo that were a womans brand and conditioner AND I also found a ponytail rubberband on the floor in that same bathroom. Well, we have never discussed seeing each other exclusively OR becoming boyfriend/girlfriend either. So,I guess it is my fault for not coming out and establishing what our situation was long ago-so, I cannot be mad. He does not take me out places as he said he likes to stay in when he is home as he travels SO much and I totally understand that also. Besides that the weather is VERY cold where we live to. He was VERY attentive when I see him and very affectionate also. I guess I just dont know what to do next. I am always planning little “Surprises” for him and he said he loves that! Well, I just texted him 3 hours ago asking him if he ever played golf at this particular golf course ( as I am planning a surprise for him there) but so far he has not responded at all. I also left my scarf at his place on the morning I left him and I texted him ” Sorry baby, I meant to grab your scarf at your place and I meant to grab it” and I got nothing texted back either! Could someone help me? I am SO confused and I dont want to look desperate– I just want to know what the heck to do next?

    1. Hi Tracy,

      I think now is the time to have that “exclusivity” discussion. Don’t postpone it any longer, unless you are fine with him seeing other women at this point in time. Don’t be afraid to have that discussion with him. If he backs away or freaks out about being exclusive, then it’s really a sign that he is not the one for you. Also, just because he does not text within a few hours doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It’s possible he was just busy with work or tied up. If it’s been a day or two and no response then I would be worried. However, at this point in time in your relationship, I do think it’s a little odd that he does not take you out at all. I understand that it’s cold but he has to leave the house sometime (at least to get groceries).

      I’d definitely ask him if he’s seeing other women. This is really going to let you know a lot.

    2. Thank you for your response. I DID hear from him ( via text) later that same day. I DO get impatient with him at times. Being a Aries- I get impatient when I don’t get a answer right away sometimes! ( LOL) I understand where you are coming with having the “exclusivity” discussion. I am just really afraid he will say he does NOT want a “exclusive” relationship after all this time and I will be crushed! He was a hard one to get close to at first! I guess its better to find out now after we have been intimate and we have been in contact for more than a year! I just saw him two days ago and I SHOULD have asked him then, but I chickened out AGAIN and I realize now it is not doing my heart ANY good anymore. Another man really wants to take me out now- I am just not into him as much as I am with my current guy. He is everything I am looking for, but then again I cannot make him want to be with me exclusively as it is HIS decision to make. I hope everything works out for the best!

      1. well, I sent this capricorn man a text early this morning and basically asked him if he had a girlfriend or someone he was seeing exclusively– his response was “Honey, I don’t have time for dating right now- let alone a girlfriend LOL. I was planning a surprise for him as well that was to help his golf game and he said ” Don’t plan anything for me. Chances are my schedule will change on a daily basis. ——-( which is truly DOES as he does not have a 9-5 job!) That alone was a blow of to me — don’t you agree? I feel really heartbroken now as I have spent quite awhile trying to make him see I was “special” and different! What a joke!

        1. Tracy,

          I’m really sorry to hear his response. For me, it really does sound like a blow off and was pretty cold and harsh but at least now you KNOW exactly where he stands with you. IT sounds like in his mind you two were very casual. He was being honest. The question now is whether you want to continue with him knowing all of this. If he doesn’t see how special you are now, what else will it take to make him realize it? I think you know that you deserve and have deserved better than this. You have to put your foot down and demand more than what you’re getting. If you lay down your expectations or set your standards high from the beginning, the man that is meant for you will meet them and exceed them and do whatever it takes to make you happy.

  98. I was working with a capricorn man for a few years. He would send me text messages for holiday greetings and call me on my way home from work. He always told me a was a nice person with a good heart.
    We decided to see where things would go and started sexting and texting, we never slept together. He would send me pictures of his grandkids etc…
    I loved our time texting to each other. We would text on my way home from work every day, In the beginning he would text me out of the blue but then I would be the first to text always. He told me a few times that I was trying to hard.
    One day on my way home I texted him cuse I really need to talk to him as a friend and he didn’t reply and stupid me just keep texting and he got really really mad at me. He told me that I was to attaching and I texted to much and he stopped talking to me. I wrote him trying to explain my actions but it was like he didn’t care and just didn’t even want to be my friend anymore. I did send him a email telling him I thought I loved him and he told me that wasn’t real because we never even kissed. My feeling is you can love someone just by knowing someone and having daily interactions with that person.

    What can I do? I do send him a text message or email once in a while just to say hi but he never responds back. I did text him and tell him that he was my friend no matter what and I wasn’t going to let his actions make me not be a nice person. Will he ever talk to me again. He is a capricorn and I am a libra.

    1. Dear Devastated,

      I’m sorry that he’s blown you off like that, especially since you two started out as friends, it sounds a little strange to me. 🙁 I want to ask, did he ever take you out on dates or ever initiate a date or was this strictly phone communication?

      1. No dates as I am married. Please don’t think badly of me. It was strictly phone texting or talking. He told me he really liked me and I was a good person and awesome friend. I loved to text with him and I really wanted to get to know him better and figured that was the best way to do that. I told him that I wanted to get to know him before anything went further.
        He had always said he was going to move here and then one day he told me that he was offered a job close to his home and he was leaving. He continued to tell me that we weren’t over than he would figure something out. He always told me that. I was so upset when he told me he was leaving I couldn’t believe it and it really threw me. I felt like I was losing everything that we had started. So I guess I over texted him and that upset him alot. He told me that I was to attaching and texted to much that I couldn’t go a day without texting and then stopped talking to me. I tried to apologize to him about it and that I would tone it down and he told me I needed to get on with my life. I asked if we could be friends and he never responded back to me. I just really miss my friend. I asked him from the every beginning if there was anyone else in his life and he said no. I texted him a few weeks ago to say I was only about 1/2 hour from him did he want to meet. I replied back that I was delusional that he had a good women. Why did he play me like that? He didn’t seem like that kind of guy at all. Why would he risk ruining the friendship we had. Or did he just say he had someone so I would leave him alone?

        1. Why won’t he talk with me about this or anything? It is so cold and rude to just simply ignore someone. I told him that I would never be so rude as to ignore him ever or anyone I knew.
          How do you ever expect to try to fix a friendship or any relationship if you don’t talk. I guess I know now why he has been married a few times…He is such a pig head!
          I guess we weren’t friends like I thought! I am a poor judge of character! It just hurts that I was such a fool! I just wish I knew what his game was all about.

          1. Well, the fact that you’re married could be the deciding factor here. Capricorns can be very traditional and you are a committed woman. I’m starting to think that he only saw you as just a friend. He even told you that you were a “good person and awesome friend.” He put you in the friend category from the beginning (so it seems).

            This is why physically dating is important because it allows people to bond with each other and grow closer. He kept you at a distance and most likely it was done on purpose, he knew you were married.

          2. You are probably right. I must have left things out. It was earlier in when he said I was an awesome friend. It was back in September when we decided to see where things would go and we really started texting and sexting and all the talk about moving here. The sexting was fun but it made me feel more than I should have. We tried to cross that line from friendship and due to that lost a friend. I just don’t understand why he ignores me now and why he can’t be that friend again. If he was keeping me at a distance on purpose why would he play that game. He brought up the sexting, I didn’t even know what that was until he mentioned it…LOL. Why would he play those games being my friend knowing someone was gonna get hurt. He just didn’t seem like that kind of person. He will not respond at all to me when I have emailed or texted him and I don’t do it often either. I wrote a nice note saying I wished him well and thanked him for being there for me to talk to when I needed someone. I told him he was my friend no matter what. I got nothing back at all.

          3. Well.. I think you just have to give him some space for now and let him be. He’s gone cold because he doesn’t want to encourage you romantically. If he values your friendship, I think he’ll reach out eventually but it may take awhile.

            The “exting” was him trying to push boundaries. I don’t think he was playing games, he was just being a man. If you put your foot down and refuse for whatever reason he would have respected that.

            In the meantime, get busy enjoying your life, family and friends. Get busy with a new hobby, go shopping, spend some time on YOU. You’ll be so busy you won’t even have the time to think about him.

  99. Hi,
    Since I read all the comments, thought I would ask for a suggestion. My family is friends with this cap man. I remember long time ago in high school, he was staring at me at a wedding event. I ignored him. we never talked or anything. Now, after like 10years lol I added him on facebook because I know his sister etc and thought Id get to know him too. we have been talking since novemeber. when I say talking, I mean just as friends. he lives far away and hes a doctor. I am assuming he is usually so busy. He comes down usually the weekends. we used to text here and there. finally out of blue I told him I think he is so handsome. he was flattered and told me we should start haning out soon. so we hung out once at a coffee shop. it was nice, we talked about work etc and when leaving he said we should do this more often.
    then when he left I messaged him saying I had a good time etc. next time i messaged him saying we shud hang out again. he told me he was back in town and we got together for his bday. we had a quick coffee and he complimented my hair. next day i told him i forgot to give him his bday gift. he was down to meet up for 20mint before he left down. when leaving he said, we agreed to do something different next date.
    and now..last time we hung out in late december (28th). I text him here and there like every other day. he never texts me first lolz. he told me, he was in town but it was a rush trip so he couldn’t meet up. I said it’s okay may be next time. so finally I was thinking really hard, like I dont know he really likes me or not. so I decided to ask him if he would mind if a woman asks him out. he said no he would. I asked him he wanted to get together that way we can get to know each other better. he agreed and said we should spend more time. but usually when he comes down, his weekends are so short. it is so annoying he texts me back so late or I always have initiate the texts. he is so sweet man, and he’s 30. I really like this man. I just dont know, does he really like me? or is he just like annoyed by me, or just being nice to me because he is a nice person. I losing my patience because I keep texting him every other day. and it’s not like he doesnt reply, he does. I feel like I am so honest with him about my feelings that he will appreciate that. I am kinda lost. it is so hard to tell if he likes me.

    1. Hello Soni! Okay so It’s tough to tell whether he is truly interested in you (more than just friends) because you said you are the one that is always initiating. I think the easiest way to really tell is to pull back from the texting him every other day. You don’t need to do it. You’re basically doing his job for him and if you continue, it’s going to leave you feeling really off balance and frustrated. In my opinion, sometimes Capricorns need to be encouraged and want to know it’s “safe” to proceed. The thing is, it sounds like you are doing too much already so stop initiating and let him start to lead you. If he’s interested he will!! Whenever he does initiate, be encouraging, friendly (your usual self). I know it’s hard, but it’s the only way to really tell if he really is truly interested in seeing you. If you’ve truly been honest with him about your feelings then the ball is in his court! Keep us posted!

      1. this is going to be a challenge. I will simply not text him until valentines day. If he texts me before that to hang out, that will be awesome. if not, I will wait till valentines day. If he doesn’t wish me for valentines day, then I guess that’s a major hint.

        Thank you so much for your feedback..because I was just about to text him. lolz But I didn’t. I will keep you posted.

        1. Good! In the meantime, keep yourself busy. Hang out with your friends, family, spend some time on a favorite hobby and just ENJOY yourself!

          1. I know it’s hard but it’s really just a sign he might not be the one for you. Keep yourself busy and go out with friends and spend some time doing things that you enjoy. It’ll make it easier and you may realize you’re too busy to think about him.

        2. If I ignore him, I don’t want him to think I don’t like him. but at the same time I want to ignore him that way he can miss me (which is clearly not happening. Ah this is so frustrating.

  100. I have known my capricorn male friend since 1994,we dated then for a short while.He was in a very bad space at the time and our relationship ended,he explained many years later that it was because he didn’t want me to get hurt.I married some one else two years later.I saw him again when I was pregnant with my 4th child in 2004 we just picked up our friendship again and he would visit me often and make me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world he even tried to kiss me,but ofcourse I was married and pregnant and said no..thereafter we lost contact and our lives carried on in diffrent directions,I saw him again a few years later and he was in a bad was a brief meeting and again we drifted without contact..until 2013,he texted me via fb and we got talking again..and we have been in contact on whatsapp since then,which totals 5mnths first it was small talk..”how are you..I would chat about my life,he would listen and advise me ect..I suffered a lot throughout my marriage,and it helped to have someone listen and understand,he would always compliment me,say I’m a sexy momma,tell me I look so good after all these years..I would always just smile and thank him..never did I make him feel like I was interested..I would playfully flirt with him sometimes..he has a great sense of humour which made it fun..and then there would be days we would go without chatting and it would be ok..because from my side we were friends..and when I fell ill he texted me everyday to see how I was feeling and he was genuinely concerned which made me feel special…after awhile we started chatting again..he invited me to his home and we drove to a coffee shp..the way he looks at me and the way he is around me..very touchy feely..he stares at me a lot when I’m not looking and he is very nervous in my company..we hugged and I left..and since then I’ve been confused..I started developing feelings for him..and look for reasons to text the beginning he was soo warm with me..but then h became cold and distant..he is very indiffrent with me and when I try to speak about his feelings he says it all in my mind and convinces ma of it..he even went as far as to tell me WE are just friends and even if I wasn’t married we would just be friends..I’m going through a divorce which is dragging out.I can’t stop thinking about him and trying to figure out if he does have feelings for me or not..what he said about the just friends really hurt me a lot..because I feel that he drew me in with his charm and when I fell for it..he spat me I’m left with a broken heart and all the confusion in the world..because I love!

    1. Hi Naz,

      Well.. if he told you point blank that you are “just friends,” you really have no choice but to believe him. I think it’s especially hard because it seems like you’ve always had feelings for him from the very beginning (you have a history together) while he put you in the “friend” box since the breakup long ago. He most likely values your friendship immensely and doesn’t want to lose that with you.

      Right now, you are going through a difficult and already heartbreaking process. Give yourself time to grieve the end of your marriage. Focus on yourself, focus on healing and on your children. Lean on your friends and family whom you feel most comfortable and at ease with. They are there for you when you need them.

      Most of all.. give yourself time to recover from your divorce. Take it day by day and focus on the now. Don’t worry about the Cap. The most important person right now is YOU.

  101. Very well said.
    I will definitely give him his space. It’s just annoying when he says he misses me and all this stuff. Like, why complain? You didn’t want to be together and you usually cut your ex’s off anyways.
    Earlier this week, I asked him if I could hold him and he said yes. He missed it. It’s like he’s yearning for my love like a puppy and wants that intimacy back but he’s holding himself back. It’s almost sad that a confident Cap is going through a time like this only to bury himself into work even more.

    Anyways, I will work on myself like you said. As of right now, I want to be with him. I don’t give up on things I want but I will keep reflecting as time goes on. He said he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me. I just hope he keeps his promise and comes back..

    This really is a great site. Thank you SO much. I greatly appreciate this.

  102. He was not very clear on how long he needed but he always says he will come back. We have this thing where we can read each other so I believe a couple of months is what he’s looking for. Once he stated that if it took him more than a couple months, he’s not doing what he has to do. His new job involves a lot but most of it will be done during the summer. He is from a different city but goes to college here. He’s made it clear that he will stay the summer. He even moved back here last summer to start our relationship before college began again. Anyway, I think he would need until May or June to start focusing on us again.

    I feel like this week was closure basically. After this, we understand what it actually means to break up. We will not be hanging out much or talking at all but if we do, we decided to still say I love you or call each other only when we really need help.

    Yes, he initiated the breakup. I told him we could work it out and I could tell from that moment up until now that he’s going back and forth with what really happened in his head. He told me he wants to be with me, wants marriage, and everything we’ve talked about in the past but I feel the more he thinks about what he has to do, the more he says no.

    I respect it but like I said, I don’t want to make myself too available. I told him to take all the time in the world because we have each other’s hearts no matter what.. But don’t take forever because I won’t be here forever… Do what you have to do. Confind in me when you need to but do well because I know you can.

    I always encourage him. He said that I’m not one of the other girls he’s dated.. I’m special and that’s why this situation is so hard. He can’t let me go fully because I’m his baby. I asked him why he didn’t ball and he said no one can ever see when I’m hurt. He also told no one about the breakup.. Not his roommate, mother (She’s a taurus and they’re close), or his best friend.

    I just wanted you to understand the aura of it all.. Is it a test? I’ll respect his space and focus on me but do I wait? He said he’d wait for me. The things about it is… Even though we’re not together, he has my heart and during these months, I don’t see myself acting “single” only to get right back into a relationship that I felt shouldn’t have been broken in the first place. It shows lack of perseverance… That we weren’t strong when we actually were strong enough to get through anything.

    1. I think he might be going through a difficult time and he just needs alone time. I would give it to him. Taurus women are so strong, cool and confident and are wonderful partners AND make amazing friends to caps. It’s really hard to let go of that. No, I don’t think he’s testing you at all. He’s being honest when he tells you he needs the time. If I were you, I’d give him his space but enjoy YOUR life as well and don’t wait too long for him to make up his mind on whether he wants to continue. This is also a time for you to ask yourself if YOU want to continue w/ him. He is showing you who he is right now and how he handles adversity. Him wanting the break could be a sign that he may not be ready to take it to the next level and give you what you really and truly need. It’s quite possible he just doesn’t want to say it, although I hope this is not the case.

      If I were you, I’d take advantage of this time and reflect on where you’d like to go from here with him (if anywhere). Remember, that this just isn’t his decision, it’s yours, too. And you want a solid partner who does not have any doubts about taking it to the next level with you.

  103. Hi!

    I’m a taurus! I had a great relationship with a Cap male. We met, fell in love, and we’re so natural together. He expressed no ones EVER brought out what I’ve brought out in him. He’s been through the skies for me and back so I know he loves me deeply. He always calls (and acts like) I’m one of a kind. He’s met my family and vice versa, everything was perfect. I’m the kind of person that voices my opinions. He hates being wrong an loves to do everything his way. I respect that because he knows I trust him.

    The new year brought on a lot of stress for him. He’s doing well In school but demands more. There’s A LOT of stress from his family and job. We broke up last week. He’s says he just needs time to get through the semester. I even asked him straight up what HE wanted and he finally said I don’t have to wait. I told him I won’t. I said I won’t have sexy with anyone else but if I do, I’ll let you know and it would be entitlement for you to do the same too. He was actually the FIRST person to say he wouldn’t have sex during our break.

    We both hate games. We actually have been hanging out this week because it was his birthday. He’s been so confused with life and our situation but we both agree we’d still be loyal in matters to having each other’s hearts. I plainly told him that it was messed up what he did but I support him. We’ve spent days talking about us and we finally understand where this could go and how this time could be beneficial for getting ourselves together more. I told him I’d be here if he still wanted to date but to make sure he’s together first. He promised he’d come back… I stopped texting him during the day and he started texting me, asking me about how I’m doing so I know he misses me but I’m not going to initiate a convo.

    I’m going to give him space but when we hang out, it’s like we’re still dating even though we don’t have sex, kiss, spend the night, or come over. I stated what I had to say and am not initiating contact but he knows I’m here for him…..
    I love him and we’ve talked about marriage and everything…. Is he testing me? I’m doing the right thing by staying loyal and giving him space right? We think we’re soulmates. I want to wait but I don’t want to wait for something that may never happen even though he promised.. And he emphasized his promise too…

    Thank you.

    1. You officially broke up but you are still seeing each other and hanging out, so what is this “time” that he needs? This does not really seem like a break because you are still in contact with each other. For me, I think it makes it difficult to step back from the situation and give both of you that perspective that you really need to evaluate your relationship and see if you both want to continue.

      Have you two set a time period on when your break will officially end? I think a break (no contact break) can be a good thing, he has some issues he needs to work through and apparently he feels like he needs to do them alone. When you set a time period on it, like say, a month, then you at least know it won’t go on forever. Ultimately, a decision does have to be made and that no contact period could give both of you the perspective you really need.

      Is he the one that initiated the break up?

  104. I met the capricorn man when he started work at my company (he was my manager) . The first time i met him he was tounge tied and shy. The bond was instentaneous from there, he called me every day at work and we would talk for at least an hour each day. I had a medical emergency 2 months into his time there and was rushed to hospital for an operation. He visited me 3 days later in hospital and kept in touch the 4 months I was absent from work, the calls trailed off a bit naturally during that period. When I returned to work this August, things didn’t go according to plan and I came up against a lot of conflict from the women in head office (I worked in a private home as a Carer) and went through so so much stress and frustration which was not recommend after the surgery. The cap man called me every day for the first two weeks to tell me how he had a soft spot for me and how much he cares, he told me he cares for everyone but me more, he said “your more. We discussed our bond and I began to see a lot more of him at work, we talked each night on the phone for hours and although we were comfortable over the phone with emotions, we were both shy in person (I’m a gemini but can be reserved) this became easier as the days wore on and we became happy in each others company even though we were both going through such a hard time with work by that point, he had drummed into my head how much he cared about me, he made me dependant on him to the point that the only thing thing that made me feel better and comforted me was to be with him or hear his voice. He mentioned that we must have been twins in our past lives due to our similarities. He resigned from work as did I and we left on the 20th September. We have both suffered depression through the last few weeks because of the energy required from the old company, I’m going for interviews now but he had to start work the Monday after. He hates it and needs time off, he spends his nights and weekends in bed and I’m not hearing from him unless I check in him, I am genuinely worried about him as I realised I was in love about 2 weeks before we left work. He came for dinner the night before we left and mentioned that he will take me out for some nice dinners, he talks in the phone sometimes but others won’t answer but he will text instead. Like he’s too depressed to even talk. He had also had a cold constantly for the last couple of months, it leaves him for a few days and then returns worse. I seriously miss him as I’m still going through the motions of what happened to my health (it was brain surgery), with what happened with work, and also the added issue if him, which I didn’t see coming amongst the work stuff. Now I’m pining for him. He says he will see me when he’s well. I’m worried and am pining for him at the same time, I feel hurt. Is this a situation where he’ll come back? His last serious relationship ended 3 years ago

    1. Anika,
      I’m sorry to hear about your surgery and I hope that you’re on the mend. ((Hugs))

      One thing that’s important to know about Cappys (and many other people as well) is that quitting, leaving or starting a new job can be INCREDIBLY stressful for us. We are creatures of habit so it takes awhile to get back into the groove and finding our place at the new job. This might be what’s going on with him and I definitely wouldn’t take it personally.

      All you can do is keep things light and friendly because we always keep friends in our lives. In addition, it’s the best way to get even closer to him. Keep in touch but also let him initiate conversations. Don’t do all the work, let him reach out as well.

      Be sure to take good care of yourself because you’re still healing from surgery! It sounds incredibly traumatic and I hope you take it easy and be patient with yourself. Also, don’t stress yourself out about this! : )

      He’ll be back!

  105. HELP!. I met this guy at work. He seems interested because he was asking if I have a bf, ask for my fb and number. Then at work, he always talks to me asking about me ,my life,experiences,seems very interested in knowing me. Then we always chat , text and calling everyday. He asked me out finally then we got intimate. He is very attentive and always ask about my family, things that I am interested in, it seems to me that I am on a job interview with this guy. he even bring me to his house and spent the night talking, laughing and cuddling. After 2 dates things begin to change. He becomes so distant and cold. he came from a 10 yrs relationship and admitted he is still hurt and not ready. he told me if I could help him fix his heart. But he admitted that I am perfect and he really likes me. Idk…sigh. He’s giving me mixed signals. I am so confused idk what to do. Should I be patient and wait? Or I need to leave him alone? Help me, seriously.

    1. Hey Katara,
      It sounds like things moved a bit too fast. I’d take a step back and relax, give yourself some perspective. If he’s told you he’s not ready then take him for his word. He’s telling you the truth. He can’t really be rushed or expect you to help “fix his heart.” That’s not your job and it’s unfair to you.

      If anything, you can take things slowly.. very slowly but be cautious about moving too fast.

      1. Thanks so much for your insight. I did, relax and enjoy my life. But now he is acting weird, he called me yesterday and shows up outside my place. He invited me for dinner, we talked about some sort of things that is not related. He bombardeD my phone with lots of messages when I did not reply, he calls me. What’s with him now? I do not understand. Thank u. More power

  106. Broke things off w my cap guy last june due to his immaturity and issues with drugs. He treated me amazing, but the drug issue was just too big to ignore. Btw, do caps tend to have addictive personalities? The wknd before we broke up, we went out of town together and he surprised me with rose petals, champagne and chocolate strawberries in our hotel room (very romantic for a cappy ;)). I also got to meet some of his family which was nice and they loved me. Any way, I ended up reaching out to him in a few months ago and he was really excited to hear from me. Things have been great although he only texts me every few days, not every day as before. Also, he said he quit his job recently. We spent a few wknds away together and everything was great until he went back to his old party ways and blacked out one night. We got into an argument the next day and I told him that I just want to be friends (even though that’s not what I wanted). He responded with, “what did you just call me?” and i told him that he never expresses anything to me or tells me what he wants…he just stated that we have a good time together and that’s all that matters. Next day after the fight was ok, he dropped me off at my place and didn’t make plans with me for the following wknd. Feeling bad about telling him I only wish to be friends, I call him and ask him if he is home as I have a surprise for him since I had got him a few really awesome, thoughtful xmas gifts. He wasn’t home as he was dealing with some friend drama so I texted him the next day asking when I could see him since I was so excited to give him the gifts and knew he was going out of town….for the first time, he took 2 days to respond saying he’s been sick with the flu, bed ridden and hopes I am feeling well. I respond 10 hours later (since it took him 2 days) saying I had a long day at work and I hope he’s feeling better. Don’t hear from him after that text so I go up to the mountains to ski with a good guy friend of mine and what do you know, we run into him after taking our first run in line for the lift. I turn around and see him by himself, we make eye contact, but I just turned back around and kept talking to the guy friend I was with. Been a few weeks now and I still haven’t heard from him. No merry xmas, no happy new year, nada…just dropped off the face of the planet without warning. I know he’s just been partying nonstop, but he could at least say hi. Is he too ashamed after getting caught in a lie? I know caps don’t like confrontation. Does he not want a relationship with me? Is he scared? Btw, he’s 33 y/o so not sure why he’s still partying like he is a high school teen…I know he had some childhood family issues (he opened up to me in the past) so it could stem from that. I do care about him a lot and only wish the best for him, but this silent treatment is no bueno.

    1. Hi, Scorpiogal. It sounds like he’s just in a bad place right now. Addictive personalities? Perhaps.. I think it all depends on other positions in his chart but it’s possible, yes.

      Him ignoring you, not saying hello while skiing was strange. Yeah, he was caught in a lie, he might be waiting for some time to pass and possibly hoping it’ll just blow over. Really, you won’t know until he comes out of his funk.

      From what you wrote, it sounds like he’s trying but he hasn’t quite grown up yet. I’d remain friends but keep on with your life and don’t let this guy drag you down. You did the right thing by being straight with him.

  107. Hello, I have been seeing this Capricorn guy since oct. For the first month and a half it was great, texting everyday, on the phone for hours. We were intimate. Then out of nowhere bam, the texts were only initiated by me, he made excuses any time I wanted to spend time with him. When I first asked him what had changed for him, he said his feelings for me had not changed, but he wants to take it slow now. He still keeps in contact with me, sometimes he will text me good morning first, or I will, but he always replies.

    There has not been one full day without us at least texting. I told him that he is confusing me, and he is being distant. Last week I even tried telling him that I could feel he has made a decision about us already, and we should just go our separate ways. He called immediately and excused his recent behavior, by saying he is going through a lot right now, and I should not worry. so confused. .HELP!

    1. Tiff,

      It’s normal for a guy to pull away a little like this. I wouldn’t worry too much about it unless he stops contacting you. It’s a good sign that he’s responding quickly and texting you in the mornings occasionally.

      You said, “out of nowhere the texts were only initiated by me.” If this is the case then you need to pull back a little as well. Mirror his actions and if you feel him initiating less then do the same to regain the balance that you had before. Keep busy with friends, family, work, etc. and do your thing. Wait for him to initiate, he most definitely will keep at it if he’s truly interested.

  108. Hi. I need some advice on this Cap I’ve been seeing. He pursued me in the beginning and we went on a few dates which ended up being really fun and there was a lot of chemistry.

    He then started to drift away and not contact me as much when one night I texted him and said that I wanted to see him. He said he’d love to see me and he did that night but after that he started getting cold. I asked him to hang out twice after that and he was either busy or flaked last minute with some excuse.

    That’s when I went cold turkey on him for about a week with no communication between us whatsoever. I was surprised when I received a text from him one evening saying how much he was sorry about not seeing me and that he was not a flake intentionally and just had a lot going on and enjoyed his alone time and didn’t know how to balance the two.

    I only responded “ok understandable” and left it at that. Ran into him the next evening and he took me home and we had amazing sex…and he got a little cold again. Not as much as before but he kept contact to a minimum. Which I did again. I’d see him out at the bars every weekend (unplanned) but if we ran into each other he was always with me after that. Gotten to know his closest friends now and we’ve all hung out together and he’s texting me more now but I kinda don’t know where I stand at this point.

    We’ve gone on a date again recently and it was great but I’m sorta (well really) confused. I don’t believe he’s seeing anyone else. Every time I see him out he’s with no one else but his friends. That first time we slept together he stated that “he doesn’t do this with just anyone” and I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. If I see him out and we have fun but we go our separate ways he ALWAYS texts me when he gets home.

    This has all been within a 3 month time frame. Is it too soon to tell? Is he interested or stringing me along? Know he’s busy with work and he keeps a small tight network of friends who he LOVES to spend most of his time with if it’s not with him self. Help?

    1. The fact that you’ve already had sex can be a hindrance if you have not had enough time to really get to know each other well. I don’t know your total history but I think what you need to do is watch his actions. If he is truly interested, he will keep contacting you (and not just to have sex). Caps can be stand-offish and pull away which will turn off a lot of people and make them give up hope and lose interest. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested. These men can move incredibly slow (emotionally), so be prepared for it.

      Stay calm, cool and collected when he does this (within a reasonable time frame). If you want something more then be patient and let him pursue you and ask you out on more dates. You can ALSO drop hints to let him know this, such as.. “I really wanted to go to this event, it sounds like fun!”

      As long as he’s reaching out to you and initiating, you’re still good. Usually if they’re not interested, they just drop off.

  109. Hey! I’ve read some of the posts here and I’d like your perspective on a fling I had with a Cap man. I’m a Pisces.

    I had actually known of him professionally before, but had never talked to him and was therefore not instantaneously attracted to him. As it happens often, one night we got talking and ended up talking till morning. The next day we slept together and afterwards I just casually said bye to him and told him that it had been fun and that it was fun hanging out with him. The reason I did this is that even though I felt a deep spark, we live in two different countries and having been in a long distance relationship before I never wanted to have one again. He also sort of said bye (all in a very gentle tone) and then kept texting me over the next couple of days. The communication intensified and after a while I sort of gave in, since I also liked him a lot. We had this sort of natural communication, where he didn’t need to say a lot for me to understand him and vice versa. He also said that there was something special between us.

    I fell for him hard, we were together for about 4 months. In that time we saw each other twice, 2 days at a time. It all felt ok, and I felt him pull away a bit, but he threw me because I asked him if we could see each other the third time and he never answered. I asked him this about a month after we had been together the second time. I waited for about a week for his response and when it didn’t come, feeling hurt, I wrote him that I just hated having my sentiments ignored and that I’d rather he be honest with me if he didn’t want to see me. He apologised and said he had been busy and had just forgotten to reply.
    Anyway, we talked and I realised that my feelings for him might be stronger than his for me (then again I don’t know, since I now know that Caps don’t show emotion), so I asked for a clean break. And for a Piscean, feeling unwanted is the worst. I realised 14 days after that I really missed him and that I should tell him that I had fallen in love with him, so I did that and he answered that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at all, but also avoided my suggestion that we could take it slow. That was it for me. I can usually decide to be done with something, and that’s it, almost no matter how I feel, cause some of the trust is gone.

    2 months later I see him and sort of just ignore him, thinking it would be easier for us both, since it’s easier if we don’t have to talk to each other and be awkward. Plus we had initially agreed on a clean break, which I still feel is in effect at this time.
    I still had feelings for him and almost couldn’t breathe, but hid it well. He wrote me some hours after that, I didn’t respond. 3 months later, he texts me and I don’t respond. 2 months after that we see each other since we have to work together and I sort of ignore him, but am polite, since I don’t want to hurt his feelings and upset the work balance. Still have feelings for him at this point, but since I decided that I wasn’t going to engage, I don’t. We do end up talking because I sense that he wants to and I think that it might be ok to do so. I just end up hearing that he himself has experienced the same thing (being in love and getting hurt) and that it hurts but that I’ll get over it. I literally didn’t say anything except offer a bit of work related info and was gearing up to tell him that I don’t understand why he keeps getting in touch, when he after saying his piece, leaves. (I had also heard through the rumor mill that he had been with a random girl the night before)

    After this episode I think, ok this is surely it, now we are finally done. But now, 2 months after that (and about a week ago) I get a message, with just a link to a video. I finally write him a letter explaining all of the things that I’ve wanted to say, but didn’t and tell him that I don’t understand why he messaged me after. I was very polite about it and specifically worded the letter without any meanness.
    I mean he clearly doesn’t want to be with me (his actions and words prove this) yet he keeps getting in touch. He just answers that he thought I’d like the video and sorry and bye.
    It should be said at this point that he was married for a long time and that he had been divorced for about 7 months before we got involved. He also told me that in order to really break it off, he kept cheating on his wife, so she would throw him out, but she kept taking him back and he stayed (!). This is a bit odd for me and is perhaps a Cap trait that I don’t quite get. Oh, and in the middle of our courtship, while things were still going well he once remarked that he’d like us to be friends, which I found odd, but I didn’t think about it much more.

    I’d really like to know what you think of the situation and how all of this sounds to you. I don’t even know if I am still interested in him, some of his behaviour has turned me off, but I wonder if he tried to reach out in order to be friends or if there was something more to it that I missed. Anyway, I don’t think he will be getting in touch any more, not after my letter, but it would be nice to get someone’s opinion on the events and you seem to be the Cap expert. 🙂
    Sorry if this is slightly too long, I do hope you have the patience to read it and respond.

    Yours, the utterly confused Piscean.

    1. Dear Utterly Confused,

      Well, seeing that he is recently divorced sounds like the main reason for his fear of commitment. When any man tells you this, believe him. It’s a warning to proceed at your own risk. If he’s not ready, then there’s nothing anyone can do to change it, no matter how wonderful and amazing you are. 🙂 Him not being ready for a relationship is understandable, he’s newly single and getting over his failed marriage, maybe he just wants to enjoy being alone again.

      Sometimes we need to take some steps back and analyze things, find out what happened and why so it won’t happen again. Caps are internal processors, sometimes we don’t say very much, it all happens within, it might be why we like our alone time so much.

      I must admit though, the cheating on his ex wife repeatedly (so she would leave him!) is incredibly strange to me. Why didn’t he just tell her that he was not happy? Well, that’s been done already, I’d definitely proceed with caution if you plan on seeing him again romantically. He’s told you he’s not ready and it might be awhile before he is.

      He may really and truly like you a lot but may also know it’s a bad idea to get into a new relationship right after a divorce. It’s better that he tells you now rather than later (when you are more deeply invested). From what you write, it sounds like he wants to stay in touch and remain as friends, I’m sure he doesn’t want to burn that bridge with you. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I do agree that it’s just easier for YOU to make a clean break. He may want to remain in contact with you but I think you need to put yourself first. Give yourself some time and get the distance you need. If you feel better about being friends later on down the line, then by all means do so!

      I hope this helps!

  110. Hello! Ok so I need some advice. I’ve been seeing this cappy guy for 3months now. We both really like each other he has said several times that he really likes me. We have hung out alot and have been intimate.

    In the first few months he was blowing me up initiating everything but now he has kinda slacked off became a little aloof and not really initiating contact like he was before. The last time we hung out he told me he didn’t know if it was a good idea if I stayed the night with him and the. He started acting all wishy washy I gathered my stuff and was ready to leave but he then looked at me puzzled and asked “are you leaving” I just feel like I’m getting mixed signals and can’t really figure him out.

    I haven’t heard from him in a few days. Should I wait to contact him? Any advice? I’m going crazy! Haha

    1. Hello Apeaceful1,

      Let me get this straight. He basically told you he doesn’t think you should stay the night? I find this odd and it sounds like a big red flag to me. There could be other things that I don’t know about, but did he even explain to you why he feels like this? If you haven’t, I’d ask him why he feels that way. This is really important, something might be bothering him or something might have happened to upset him. I have no idea, you won’t know until you ask. Caps don’t normally come out and say what has distressed us, we just keep it to ourselves and hope someone will figure it out.

  111. hi there, i guess i have a bit of an uncommon story to tell, but an ordinary advise to ask:))). i’ve been in a romantic relationship with a cappy man for the last 5months. we had known each other briefly before for quite a while, i had though of him as the most handsome man i had met in a while, and he later told me he liked me from the beginning. however at that point, we both had our other personal lives. now, 5 months ago, i saw him alone (and yes, me was after a break up from a long-term relationship, too) we hung out for a few days, and he ended up asking my cell no. it was very special close up that we both came up to. then yes, he had called me after a few days, and we went for couple of dates. all very nice, i’d say from those dates i know how attentive and chasy he can be. back then he already offered me to stay in his apartment while he’s away (he goes on business trips around once a month) anyways, it was the time for me to tell him something special he needed to know if we wanted to continue. i had to tell him that i am pregnant from my previous boyfriend (complicated story, long-term, though im not interested in solving that oneJJ) it was scary for me, as my ex turned me away coz of this. and i was like in heaven when he got it so positively, and so supporting, even though it was not him who was the father!! moreover, he said he wants us to continue, he likes me, etc. so it was great! BTW, here i need to finally say that he’s 44 (im ten yrs younger), yes, he’s looking good:)) and has never been married before (don’t know much about his previous love life). ..well and now we are still here after those 5 months. he’s been there around, we’d be in routine communication via texts more or less each day, seeing each other one-two times a week (except when me or him out for the business trips). now that im in my last pregnancy month, and back to my hometown, that’s how we decided to be better for me, so to have my family around, i’d say im most worried.. i’ve done my best to share my life with him, to get him involved in my decision making concerning major things in my personal life, career thing, job, im happy how interested and happy he was to be there for me. i would be interested in his life too, though he would still be somewhat reserved and not showing much of downside of him, or getting into too much details. still there was quite a connection, regular one. NOW, when im away, i haven’t heard from him for the 3 days, even though I was the last one to contact him. maybe it doesn’t seem long, but it’s quite a break for me. specially that nothing has happened, no one got hurt or etc,, Nothing! so it makes me wonder…. and it would had happened couple of times before that he would go travelling, or smth and then i would just drop him another text of saying if he’s all right, and he’d eventually appear back, saying sorry for being offline and explaining why. NOW, i dont feel like doing it again. im the one who’s pregnant and need attention and need reassurance,, and so it bothers me like crazy Why, What??..When is he gonna appear? what if he’s not?!! what if he made up his mind, or what if there’s someone else popped out?… drives me nuts. I’m Leo by the way (but patient one:) Also , there’s been one issue that has always bugged me with him too, it’s our intimate life – he wouldnt avoid spending nights with me, but it happened only once that we made love or this sort of thing, only once in 5 months! –everyone keeps telling me that he might be cautious coz of my pregnancy,, though i only keep giving him signs that i’ve been constantly wanting him (and that’s indeed true:)! so, my question, – what’s on his mind? …we never talked about the future though.. thank you:)

    1. Hi Zeglee,

      I’m sooo sorry for the very late response on this one. I hope that things have smoothed out for you but if not, here’s what I think: Capricorns need their space, it’s possible he’s just doing what he normally does by being absent for those three days. If it’s any longer than that and if this continues to concern you then have a talk with him.

      Let him know you’d like to hear more from him and a gentle and loving way. As a Capricorn myself, I’ve faced this situation, too. Him being absent doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong or he doesn’t care. From what you’ve told me, it seems that he’s stood by you during your pregnancy. Yes, it’s a slight complication, but if he loves you and feels that you’re the one for him, that won’t matter.

      That said, the lack of intercourse in 5 months is what concerns me. This is definitely something you should talk about with him, if you haven’t already. He might be overly cautious or maybe this indicates a larger problem. You won’t know until you talk to him. I hope this helps, let me know what happens!

  112. I met a cap guy in the summer. Immediately we were attracted to each other. We communicated often by phone and text mainly. We equally initiated contact. Now he’s in his late 40s and I’m in my mid 30s but we connected. We spoke about our individual dreams and aspirations. He expressed to me that he was seekng a long term relationship to which I said I was seeking the same. We decided that we would meet, unfortunately i cancelled a few of dates and so did he but we kept conversing. Me being a Taurus and one who appreciates straightforwardness said…if when you see me you don’t like me feel free to tell me as no offence will be taken. By this time though i had started to like him. Of course we never met and he became distant and communication stopped. He contacted 2 months later wanting to find out how I was doing and if I was seeing anyone. I wasn’t and we reconnected. Whilst speaking via tele he said why don’t we try FWB. Me being very traditional was skeptical but decided to try it. We met and yes we did have sex which was out of this world. During sex he told me he loved me and prior to us meeting he said he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to me, the feeling is so strong and that it was a bit weird. After our first meeting I messaged him letting him know that I enjoyed every moment. He started to become a bit distant but still there and we would still talk. I however, started to catch feelings and decided that a FWB would not be best as it would just complicate the situation. I expressed this to him and him that my feelings are getting too strong. He said he understood but now even more distant. Seeing what was happening I then asked a few weeks later if he wanted me to leave him alone to which is rely was “just take it easy.” I then said okay good night and he came back saying sleep well my dear. I’ve yet to contact him since. What is this hot/cold, push/pull emotional game about? I think I should leave him alone and allow him to come to me if that’s what he wants. Is this the best approach i.e. just disappear or do I still contact him once in a while?

    1. Hi Martha!

      For some reason there are a few comments on here I never received (and yours was one of them), so I’m very sorry for the late response on this! 🙁 Well.. to start off, you agreed to a FWB relationship with him. In my opinion, these setups are hard because eventually a woman DOES catch feelings and ends up wanting more. It’s good you told him that you didn’t want that anymore. Sometimes, you have to put your foot down. If you have standards and are traditional then don’t lower them. Expect the best from this man and if he really cares for you, he will step up to the plate and meet you full throttle.

      For now, just hang back and let him come to you, let him initiate. This is how you can tell he’s truly interested and invested.

  113. I think the problem between us might be the distance coz I will back to graduate school in other state, and he will stay.. But he still ask me to come back all the time.. which is nice I think… I hate facing situation like this since I feel we got pretty strong feeling for each other.. Should I give up or try to be friend at the first? Should I tell him that lets just be friends or just let it open-ending? Thank you!!!

  114. I’m at the beginning of phase with a cap man who is so funny and shy when we met. And he bought me a dinner, smiling every time when we talked and held my hands when I needed. And then he start to get busy. But he text ed me all the way. I haven’t seen him for a week coz he took a business trip to NYC. After he came back, he text ed me and being very nice like a gentlemen to every text that I sent to him. The only bother me now is I am not sure whether he just wanna be my friend or something else. I am waiting for him to ask me out so that we can know each other more, but until now we are still text each other…But I am always the one to imitate… I am

    His text is very brief text back~ but in person he is funny sweet, attentive, and remembers things about me and kind of bossy sometimes. But I like he is being different from other guy I knew. but the pace of moving is so hard to control, He is always text me asap and being very nice~ but I want to see him in person instead of those words~~~ he really drive scorpio girl nuts here!!!

    I read some other questions about capricorn man, they suggested we don’t text first, and wait until he feel interested. Truth is that he loves his work more than any thing… As a scorpio myself, I can be cool and let it be and im pretty sure he can do that as well. Therefore, how can I know him more before I realize whether he is the one or not??????

    1. Hi Jo Jo,

      I want to apologize for the huge delay in my response due to an email mix-up! Anyway, my very late response to you would be to take it easy and to keep busy with school and friends. Work is really important to Caps, it’s the only thing that can provide security and stability for us and our families so try not to take it too hard that he’s engrossed in work.

      The situation is difficult because it’s a long distance relationship and those are always tough, but they are not impossible. He may realize this which could be the reason for his hesitation. In the meantime, you can still remain friends while you are away. Keep those lines of communication open and definitely provide him the encouragement to ask you out again when he calls you. Yes, Cap males need encouragement, too! Whenever you come back into town, I’d suggest that you let him know you plan on being in town and you’d love check out this ___ restaurant you’ve heard about.

      Also, take a step back here and let him do some of the initiating. If you’ve just contacted him recently then I’d definitely wait for him to contact you NEXT. If he likes you and wants to continue seeing you again, he will make an effort to call and reach out.

  115. thanks Coolboots, that’s very reassuring. i had dinner with a friend tonight and she said he is definitely backing away slowly and just doesn’t want to be a jerk. of course this really bummed me out. i think she’s a scorpio, haha! i have decided to answer him and keep it light and friendly, no talk about when we see each other again, etc. if i never hear from him again, i’ll have my answer, right? kind of agonizing. but thank you, your advice really helps:)

  116. Hi Dannielle,

    It sounds like he really likes you and is putting forth the effort. Everything you’ve written sounds positive to me. If he didn’t want to talk to you, he’d basically just disappear and or phase you out. It doesn’t sound like that to me.

    I don’t think you need to talk about the rushed intimacy again, because you’ve already told him you don’t usually do that. Anything else is just repetitive, believe me, he knows already. I think what’s happening is you’re feeling thrown off because of it.

    Yes, things can get awkward “the day after,” but don’t let this derail you and cause insecurity. If anything, that will cause you to overcompensate and rush things forward when things just need to play themselves out slowly and naturally.

    If I were you I would carry on as normal, be yourself. For one, he likes you and is initiating contact with you. Sure, he’s not going deep into his feelings or emotions and it’s all superficial stuff right now but with time he WILL open up more. Gain his trust, listen to him and ask him questions.

    Just be calm and cool. Be the same person you were when you met him, it’s why he’s still talking to you. 🙂

    As far as the intimacy goes, I think you know the answer to that. I’d let HIM lead you. It’s possible that he just wants to slow things down and really get to know you better first.

    Don’t rush anything forward that you are not ready for and don’t force it. When it feels right, it feels completely right.