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Relationships With Capricorn Men

How to Attract a Capricorn ManAre you dating or have dated a Capricorn man? If you’re wondering why he’s pulled away, disappeared or distanced himself from you then read on to find out the strange ways of the Capricorn male.

I’m not a male but a female Capricorn. I hope that through this page, you’ll get a little perspective on your guy and it helps you to understand him better.

Photo Credit: Attracting a Capricorn Man
   

Capricorn Men Need Space

You might be wondering, “Why is he ignoring me?” In general, the Capricorn man does not want or need to be smothered. This guy needs his alone time, he needs time to himself and time to recharge his batteries and wants to ponder and process.

So if he has pulled away or distanced himself then you should do the same. Mirror him and his actions, this is not the time to start calling him like crazy and asking him why he’s ignoring you and asking him what his deal is.

Let him be. Be cool, confident and go about your life and keep as busy as possible and go out with your friends and have some fun. It’s important to keep a level head with this guy.

   

Poll: Are You Chasing Your Capricorn Man?

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A Good Rule of Thumb for Dating a Capricorn Man

Let this man lead you. He’s not one that you should chase after! If you DO find yourself chasing him then you need to take a step back from the situation. It is bad to start chasing a man, especially a Capricorn man. Capricorn men are the mountain goats and can scale great heights of the mountain. He needs a challenge and you chasing him is NOT a challenge. Stop it.

   

I Don’t Want to Play Games!

This is NOT about game playing, this is about giving this man time to realize that he has feelings for you. He needs to feel invested in the relationship. These men are very slow to catch feelings, so slow that you might get bored or tired of it and bail. So you must, must, must give him time.

If you are texting him, calling him and not even allowing him to do his job he is less invested, less interested. This is not a challenge for him. So what should you do?

You need to let him be the man and do the work to win you. In other words, let him pursue you. There is nothing wrong with lightly encouraging him, but it does not need to be done all the time!

   

Why Is He Distancing Himself After Getting So Close?

If you’ve come to the point where he’s pulling away after getting close (from being intimate or sharing his feelings) then let him pull away! He needs space and time to think and do his thing.

This is incredibly important. You do not want to start blowing up his phone/going to his place uninvited when he’s gone MIA. For whatever reason, he’s decided that he needs time away. It might be that he needs to think things over, feels uncomfortable with the new situation and needs to get himself under control. You will need to let him be and mirror his actions.
   

Another Reason He Might Pull Away

There is something you should know about all Capricorns and this is a definite possibility as far as the men go. They are INSECURE! Capricorns love to be in control of situations and it’s hard to let their guard down, it takes A LOT of time to trust and to know for sure that someone will not hurt them. You just have to be patient with this man.

Sometimes he will need to be encouraged a bit more times than others. Please don’t get me wrong here. I don’t mean that you should do all the work and calling and planning of dates. NO! I mean that you need to complement him, let him know you enjoy his company. For instance, after a date you can let him know you had a wonderful time with him and hope to see him soon.

After he’s asked you out a few times, now it’s your turn to invite him somewhere, like the movies or dinner. This lets him know you really do like him.

There is nothing wrong with this. Now, if he doesn’t respond to that, then you have your answer. He’s not interested. But if he responds then you know he is, indeed, interested. He needs to be encouraged.

   

Should I Chase Him

You should never chase a Capricorn man. This bears repeating, don’t ever chase. These men have been know to be very slow moving and even slower to form an emotional bond with women. You may think that he wants you to chase him but don’t let his hesitation and slow nature confuse you. He is thinking things over, Caps can be very much in their head and it can take time for them to come to terms with how they will proceed. These are very cautious men.

You chasing him and making yourself available at all times is not going to help. Be strong confident, friendly and wait for him to come to you.

   

The Rubber-band Theory

If your Capricorn male has pulled away, disappeared or is unresponsive then, lady, it’s time for you to do the same. This is difficult but it’s imperative to not initiate when has pulled away like this. When he has distanced himself, the more you call/text him, the further he could move away from you.

If you go wild and call him repeatedly, What happens is that he now has his validation that you are in deeper than he is and the mystery has worn off. He doesn’t have a reason to keep pursuing you.

But.. if you mirror him and don’t call/text/visit him then he starts to wonder about you. He may wonder why you have not called him and asked him where he’s been. When you fail to do this he gets incredibly curious and will snap right back to you like a rubber-band to see how you are doing. He sees that his job is not done and he needs to keep pursuing you to win you.

   

Will He Come Back?

If he’s disappeared and never contacts you then he was not right for you and most likely was not a suitable candidate. Don’t feel bad about this. There is nothing wrong with you, he just was not the one for you.

At least this way, you have weeded him out. You want a real man that will pursue you genuinely and is not afraid of commitment.

   

Beware of the Unevolved Capricorn Male

Why Men Love BitchesWhy Men Love Bitches

Capricorns can be very devoted and loving partners but if they are not evolved or just not ready for a relationship then it will not work. Some Caps that are unevolved can/may come off very strong in the beginning of a relationship. Watch out for this and don’t let his eagerness or sweet words overwhelm you. It can be very disarming when it comes at you at first.

This is not to say that he’s fooling you, on the contrary, just do not let your emotions get the best of you in the very beginning of the relationship. When he catches wind of your feelings too soon, it can put you at a disadvantage. Keep calm, cool and collected.

Move slow and don’t let his excitement push you into moving quickly. Slow and steady really does win the race.

   

What Should You Do If Your Cappy disappears on You for a Few Days?

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130 Responses to Relationships With Capricorn Men

  1. Hi admin.. I posted a question but dont see it in comments.not sure hence posting again. I’ve known a very nice Capricorn guy for about 4yrs now.. n we are getting engaged this month.. hes settled in a different country hence its long distance. We get along very nicely except that at times he won’t tell me who he’s out with..like he will say hes going out for coffee… amd that’s about it. Sometimes he’d tell me and sometimes id ask..casually but he feels I shouldn’t have to know everything. And thats part of his personal space..he says he’s not the kind of guy who wants to inform me about everything and likely that post marriage hed be the same. Its not making me comfortable.i told him that being like this makes me feel like he doesn’t trust me or that he has something to hide.. his response was like I do tell you what im doing but how does it matter who I hang out with..Is this attitude right.?

    • Hmmmm.. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking innocently who he’s hanging out with. A guy AND girl who has nothing to hide won’t really have a problem divulging this information. It could also be possible that he’s just very private and wants to keep some mystery but I can totally understand your concern here. Sadly, the more he resists the more mistrust it creates. Are you worried he’s being dishonest?

  2. I been seeing a Cap guy for a little over 2 months and we have never had sex even though we have kissed passionately lol. I’m not going to go to in detail but it has been good between us but he is kind of struggling with finances I know right now. I’m a Cancer women and I started feeling I was always the one initiating contact even though he is quick to respond to my calls or text and always seem to ask me when he can see me again once I contacted him. I just don’t like to be the one initiating all contact in which I told him and he agreed to step up. Well 6 days ago I sent him a inspirational text message in return he sent me a text message saying this “I need someone like you who is willing to understand me. I don’t want you to go anywhere I just need time to get better established before I can give my time. I know this is some bs but I gotta do what’s best for me now but I do want you around” Ok so what exactly is he saying here? Do it seems he wants to keep me around or is a nice way of rejecting me?

    • Well, he’s struggling with his finances. I can tell you that security is super important to Caps . It can keep one from actively pursuing a relationship if they don’t feel worthy of being able to financially pay their bills/stay afloat. Unfortunately, he’s told you how he feels. He has to basically put this relationship (YOU) on hold for now. I wouldn’t see it as rejection, he’s just not together right now personally and needs some alone time.

      Whether you’re willing to stick around is a whole other thing. He’s taking the risk of losing you because his life isn’t right yet. That, to me, sounds like a gamble. He could lose you forever and right now he’s basically okay with letting you go. How does he know you’re not going to meet the real man of YOUR dreams. You really could while you’re waiting for him to get it together.

  3. (I dont know why I cant leave a reply after your respond hence I have to start a new post)

    Thanks for the advice I really appreciate. I am slowly getting better and trying to be more focus at work, however I still cant help thinking everyday that if he would message me back. I dont know how to deal with it if he is never going to contact me again… And about a week ago we had a small fight (or misunderstanding), I started a conversation with him first and he was engaging and asked how I have been etc, until I joked a bit about something he took it in an offensive way and ignored me again – I asked if he was pissed off about my joke he didnt respond the first day but the second day and said, he was not pissed off but just tired. (which I think he was still pissed off at that point..!)

    So i didnt message, I am confused, I started to joke which means I am being a positive me again but he cant take a joke, if I dont joke he thinks I am negative. I was literally pissed off at that point too so I didnt respond, and its been 5 days since last time we spoke. Its a long period of time for me really (considering I am a leo I really have no patience), what sort of time frame should I be giving myself, saying if he doesnt text back in certain period of time then I move on, or should I just keep waiting?

    • He might have been pissed off, who really knows. As long as you’re not making HIM the butt of your jokes then it’s probably fine and it’ll blow over in a few days. Caps can be sensitive. Just give him some time and space. He’ll most likely come around after a week and a few days when he’s ready.

      Honestly, I wouldn’t worry. Don’t put yourself in that mindset. He should be the one to be worried, worried of losing you. Empower yourself and keep busy and keep having a life. I think this is attractive for many men, not just Caps. A woman that is sure and confident in herself is irresistible. If he’s going to be a fool and let you go then it’s really his loss, seriously. Another man who knows how valuable you are will snatch you up quick. A smart man won’t let it happen.

  4. Hi I am dating a Capicorn, have had a few dates and all went really well but now he left for work (traveling), telling me he hopes to see me when he is back. (I agreed;) and ever since I’ve heard nothing of him.. He is still on his work trip, comes back later this week.. But isn’t it weird that he is not texting me at all? Im not texting him either but still… Friends tell me he is just not interested. Normally guys text, I havent heard from him in 6 days now. Or should I just wait till he is back and see?

    • Well, you could initiate yourself every once in a while. For every few times he texts or calls try shooting him a message for encouragement. You could send him a quick text to say “hello, how’s your trip going? Hope you’re _______.” Yes, they usually do text and call to show some interest but some may need a bit of a push. It’s okay to drop a line to say hello and ask what he’s up to. What I wouldn’t recommend is to drop a line and to keep texting/calling without a response from him.

      If you text him or call then wait for the response back. If no response after a few days then he’s probably not interested and you can write him off.

  5. yes.. he is wid someone else.

  6. I really dont understand what is going in his mind. Its been more than six months. At first he said that he’s fallen at first sight and said he’ll never leave me but in middle of these two months we spend together he said dat he wants a break and said dat he’ll not b wid any girl and nt with me as well but wat type of thing is this?? he has a g.f. now they two date infront of me nd I hav to act cold no matter wat. But I think this all happened bcoz of me at first, coz I was the one to ask fr brkup but I was just kiddin and he got serious.
    And in mid of this 6 months he ask me to b his friend. So admin do u think he’ll come back to me?

    • I’m confused here. So he broke it off with you asking for a break and is now with someone else?

      • Just move on from him. Anyone wanting a break from you is not as interested as he should be. I wouldn’t want to be friends with him. Think about yourself for now. He can’t have it both ways. I’m sorry.

  7. Hi! Love this article, just hope my cappy man is the same as you said…

    We have been seeing each other for almost 4 months already, things were great when first started – we met through a common friend, he doesn’t live at where I live but always travel here for work (he works in investment banking and has a very senior position) and hes always very busy, but at first after our 1st blind date everyday he initiated contacts, and during that 1.5 months hes never stopped contacting, wherever he went he would always let me know. Until we had our 4th and 5th date things started to get very emotional and I started to get attached, but hes never left me and always told me how much he cares/likes/adores me and even said would be stupid if he left me. (I am Leo girl by the way)He is always very mature and very calm and very independent. He even flew to where I live just to spend some time together the day before my birthday (as my birthday was a school day), but then after that we had an argument, tho he never fight back I was the one who went upset. But we had a chat and we were all fine and things went back to normal, although since after the fight hes stopped initiating on text messages, he called from time to time tho.

    2 weeks ago he went to London for work and I was joking and said I would go with him so I could shop, to my surprise he agreed hence I flew there for only 3 days to see him and everything was amazing, that was also the first time he took a girl to travel with him for work as well (he is 30 years old), we shared the same room same bed and we shared each others lives for 3 days. He was very busy everynight he came back he was just exhausted and didnt want to talk which I understood. The day I left London we had a chat, I was all very emotional because I realised I really really like this guy and Ive never felt like this in my life, I told him how I felt and I cried, to my surprise he dealt with my tears very well and told me how much he cares/likes me and how much he hated himself not being able to spend time with me and I flew all the way there for 3 days I must be exhausted etc, he said he would make it up for me, and he was very affectionate kissing my forehead my hair my lips. When I left I left him a card to express how much I adore him and thanks for letting me join him

    After I am back things seem changed, he was meant to leave the day I left but work got some problem they extended his stay in London and he was so frustrated and upset, he said to me he was very tired and worried about work and stressed out and he was sick, he said we should take a break and thanks for my understanding. We didnt talk for a few days, and then again it was me breaking the ice and told him I missed him I hope he was fine after a few days and I am always there for him. He wrote back thank you for everything and he really needed the space because work is too much to handle. We started to talk again but its me initiating everytime, and I really dont dare to call him I dont want to make it worse.

    Today I asked if I could ask him a question, he ignored me, I was actually meant to make a joke (as I sent him a youtube link its a funny video) to release some tension between us. So I ended up said to him that I only wanted to release the tension but I guess he still needed the space. He wrote back right away and said he didnt even have a chance to watch it. I left it like that.

    I think he still likes me as he is a man speaks his mind, but with all these sudden change I just dont know how to handle anymore, it was all very good 2 weeks ago we were sharing everything the connection was so strong, and he pulled back like this, I really want to go back to how it used to be, but again I dont know what to do anymore… Any advice please?

    • It sounds like he just needs some space, like he said. If I were you I’d just give it to him. Either way, you’ll know soon how he truly feels because once we get the space we really need it’s only then that we feel good about reaching out again. It does sound like he’s into you but work can really screw things up. Caps are serious about the work situation and it really comes first. That’s the only way we feel secure enough in ourselves to provide for family. For now, just give him the space. After a few days he’ll probably reach out all on his own. Give him some time to miss you!

      • Thanks for the advice, I talked to him during the weekend, honestly I dont know what to do anymore… He said he really likes me and doesnt want to hurt me, but I am expecting more and more day by day and he doesnt know how to handle it, he said he doesnt even have time for himself or his family. He also told me to think about if I actually want to carry on but if yes I will have to minimize my expectations… Then a few days later, I sent him a text but didnt respond, and the next day after I sent that text I sent a text again and asked if he was going to ignore me. He was a bit angry and said, he wasnt ignoring but I needed to be more positive and dont think about bad things, he said I am too negative at the moment and he doesnt like it and he said he is trying to help me (I am just having a lot of problems lately hence loads of negative energy)

        What does that mean? One day he says he cant give me what I want, the next day he doesnt want to give up on me. Does he actually want to work it out too? I am so confused now… appreciate if you could give me more feedback! thanks a lot

        • Hi ConfusedLeo,
          Well, I just think you need to give him some space here. Caps are notorious for needing that alone time, I really can’t stress it enough. It’s nothing personal, believe me. Right now, I’d keep busy and focus on you. If you’re going through some personal issues, now is a good time to focus on yourself and work on bettering the situation. Give him some time to miss you. He can’t do that when you are texting or calling more often than is necessary.

          • Thanks a lot for the respond. I will definitely leave him for now and see how it goes. Its holiday coming up this week for us (we are in the Middle East) so I get to clear my mind up too by spending time with myself. I just get worry that he doesnt want to be with me anymore, how can I turn things around and make him interested again? I never really invested my time and energy to a guy because I always think they are the wrong ones, but since I met him everythings changed and this is the first time I really really want someone…

          • “How can I turn things around and make him interested again?” I’ll tell you what helps, get busy with your life and focus on YOU. The fact that you won’t drop everything for him will most likely make you more attractive to not just him but other strong men. Go out with friends, have your fun, take some leisure classes, whatever you can do. Keep your confidence and stay strong. Confidence is very attractive and we can’t help but be pulled in.

          • Should I be worried if he doesnt come around? Its been 5 days (I know it sounds silly, but its been very LONG for me..). I am doing my best not to think about it and be me again, doing ok so far but I cant help keep thinking if he is going to come around.. its been a few months since I am seeing him, I know its pretty short period of time but I really dont want to lose it..

  8. I met this man on an on-line dating site. Was very reluctant in dating him and let him know this because of his profession (pilot). But with a lot in common and spending more time together, I fell for him rather quickly. But I did tell him right away, that I was not going to sleep with him anytime soon. That I liked him and wanted to build a foundation and develop a friendship. There was just something about him that I wanted things to be just right. He was ok with that , stating it was a nice change than what he was use too. Ok, so things are going well and when he hears I might be getting this other job, which would change my life and had him come to my place for the first time….he told me he has come to some clarity and it was wrong timing for us and took all romance of the table. he said he wanted to be a part of my life but all the emotions, phone calls and texting were getting quite overwhelming and he needed to throttle back some and see where the next few months were going to take us. SO, I took it hard but I was going to be the coolest female friend he had and accept this. (mind you he has a lot of female friends…all over the US). So being jealous, was one thing I learned can not be displayed. But the week after, he told me he had a female friend (who he dated years back and is platonic friends with now) is coming to stay with him for 3 weeks. I asked if this was part of the reason he took everything off the table. He said no. Well that happened 3 weeks ago and then a week after that I noticed he was irritated with me and his texting was almost to nothing. He stopped calling & texting and when he wouldn’t respond…I sent him 4 texts the one day wanting answers, accused him of having someone else (Basically, questioning his integrity) and asked why he’s not responding. 5 mins later (this was the next day) he sends back a text saying cease and desist. You have not only sabotaged any friendship but all romantic as well. I wish you much happiness. Plz do not contact me anymore. This text has left me heartbroken. He judged my character as a crazy lady. DO you think he will call me when this other woman leaves to go home? We have so much n common and the attraction was definitely there on both sides. Please help?? do I try the no contact rule and give him his space? I want him to come back!

    • Hi M,
      I’m sorry this happened. If he likes you or was ever interested, it’s possible he’ll be back. He was probably just upset at the time. Having said that, I do think it was not a good sign that he initially took romance/dating off the table. It’s just something that can be an indication of disinterest. Any man who is willing to throw you back out there is taking the risk of losing you. You might have met or still can meet someone else who values your time/company more. Anyway, if he doesn’t come back I wouldn’t feel bad. You really want someone who is VERY interested and not just semi-interested.

  9. Been dating 51 year old cap guy for 2 months, I’m a 45 year old libra lady.
    It was instant connection, attraction, conversation etc…. He has been very romantic, holding hands and even kissing in public, which I hear is not typical for the cap guy. He is a loner for the most part and goes on a yearly trip to the mountains, he said he likes the solitude and does not contact anyone. This year he decided to go to Canada for half the week and would not be texting or calling. I was ok with that. I took him to airport and was going to pick him up at the end if the 10 days. I started to get depressed when his 6 days in canada was over and I thought for sure he would at least text me from Seattle or Denver when he got to airport for the second part of his trip. He contacted me the night before he was coming back and started a text with just “hi” we texted back and fourth. I did not ask about him not contacting me, I stayed cool, but he offered up that he was anxious to see me and that the trip was rewarding and he stayed in the moment! He told me he loved me last week and I thought, he would have missed me enough to at least text or email 1 time.
    Advice please…

    • Well, to be fair.. he did tell you he wouldn’t be texting or calling during that time. He let you know in advance so you wouldn’t worry about it. I don’t think that there’s anything for you to worry about here. He’s honest about liking the solitude, as you said. Caps need that alone time to recharge batteries. If this happened all the time I’d probably be more concerned but it was his yearly alone trip. Now that he’s back do you feel better? Does he contact you regularly and is he consistent?

  10. Hello, i met this cap guy online and i had a feeling that we clicked immediatly, we have been talking for 3 weex online now, he lives over the seas and he told me he will fly to see me soon, he seemed very open about his feelings at the beginning, he even said that he really likes me and then he said he loved me be4 i say it to him, he even said he wants me and wants to propose! After the 1st week i gave him my number and asked for his, he didn’t reply till the other day saying he faced a problem where his phone got “crushed”. So its been 2 weex after it and he “still” hasn’t got a phone! Which i cant believe of course, now he is acting hot and cold after asking me about my feelings for him and i told him im waiting 4 him to fly here and i worry alot if something bad happened to him which i really mean since i care for him. So now i text him once or twice a day and he rarely replys the next day. I feel he is being manipulative lately after i told that i liked him, he is acting distant and replys with short sentences. I plan to move on and stop texting him, is this the right way to deal with him? Im a sag girl and i really cannot tolerate boys who have emotional insecurities! He was acting like a real gentleman at 1st, and was very open about his feelings which i liked ALOT! But now all i can see is a boy who is maybe scared or insecure about his feelings and he doesn’t even trust me with his number even i did give him mine, im a sagg but mysterious men are a major turn off for me!! I hate people who are not clear and straightforward specially with their emotions! If i like u or hate u i say it, no turning back! His msgs seemed very sencere, and he made me feel like he REALLY meant every word he said, but the last few days made me very skptical and doubtful about his intentions. He even comes up with excuses when ever i ask him for more photos of him. Although he didn’t get many photos of me either, but sometimes he would lose his cool side and start talking a lil dirty which i would try to avoid politly or in a fun way, i don’t recall hurting his feelings or anything, i even told him i will wait till the date he gave me for him to fly here, which will end soon. Any ideas about my next step? should i stop txting/asking about him? should i 4get him and move on?

    • This sounds like bad news. For one, he never gave you his number and made up an excuse about his phone being “crushed.” It sounds like he’s either already attached to someone or is not interested enough. I would let this guy go. Another thing, he also told you he loved you after 3 wks? Keep in mind that you have not met him yet and until you do that, both of you haven’t had a chance to really get to know each other. I would hold off on texting and calling. If he’s serious about this, he’ll make much more of an effort here. Right now, it’s just him talking.

  11. I met this guy(Cap) online. He just moved to the USA and had a month off before starting work(I met him about three days after his arrival.He starts work tomorrow). We went on two dates back to back. The first date went well. We are both ambitious, playful ,I, to his surprise, speak quite a bit of his native language, etc etc. Towards the end he mentioned us going out downtown and going to the zoo. In the end he said “you are the busy one so you call or text me.”(I had let him know i work and study fulltime so I have 80+hours weeks).I felt a tad uncomfortable bc I am used to the guy taking the lead. The next day I asked how he was feeling bc he had been complaining about back problems.He asked when I was going to invite him over for dinner and I responded in a not so encouraging way. I told him we had just met. we should get to know each other and see if we both are interested before he gets an invite over.On the saturday it pained me bc I had already initiated, but I asked him about the zoo. We ended up going and we spent 7 or so hours together. It ended at my place for a movie night. He made numerous references to the future and told me he was going to show me he was a good guy(this comment was a tad random).He mentioned us going to his home country..at one point i had offered to cook and he said no, no. he will order food.He didnt want me to do anything , but relax. If i want to cook for him just call him and he will come(again this leaves it up to me)).At one point his roommate called and sent his greetings to me. Apparently, they had been talking about me.He told me his roomie was excited bc he was seeing me again. He then had me his account information to his best friend bc he didnt have signal(I thought this was odd since he hadnt been around me long enough to know if I am a crazy stalker.)He left saying he had a good time.He gave me a passionate kiss and told me he was going to wait(he was talking about sex bc i had made it clear on date one that it wasn’t happening soon) 3 days passed and I was hoping this time around he would contact me. He didnt and so I sent a playful text. He always responds immediately. After that I left things as were. He initiated contact by the weekend and was very talkative and flirty. He will talk to me every 4-5 days and makes references to doing things, but he doesnt ask for a third date. He outright has told me he has been bored sitting around all day. (When we talk he usually gives me a run down of what he has been doing and will be doing.)I am not sure if he isnt interested, is stringing me along, its a sex thing, or he is busy with other women. I know that it started off w me chasing in a way, but he kind of set it up that way.I have now stopped and wait for him to do things. I am used to guys being more aggressive.Is he being a capricorn,is it bc he hasnt been working, or is he just not that into me?I have heard that when capricorns are interested, you know and they chase.

    • oops I knwo my post is already ridiculously long, but I had one more thing to add. He doesnt have internet on his phone. The few times that we have text sometimes he gets flustered because he doesnt understand a word Ive used and he cant look it up.

    • Well yes, I agree that you and he sort of set it up for YOU to be the one to initiate. I know it feels off, especially when you’re used to being pursued. There’s nothing wrong with that either. In general, I think men will value what they have to work harder for. That’s just my opinion and others are free to disagree.

      It’s ALSO possible that his might be due, not to disinterest but to insecurity on his part. At the same time though, it sounds very lazy to me. I mean, everyone is busy and works and sometimes, yes, we get turned down because it doesn’t fit a schedule but that doesn’t mean he can’t be the one to ask you out and give you some encouragement here. He knows that you’re interested because you obviously ask him out and prompt him.

      If he’s not secure in himself then this can fall flat if he won’t pursue. Either way, if he’s insecure or disinterested, it’s not going to work. You do whatever your most comfortable with but if it were me, I’d pull back and let him initiate more. Otherwise, I get the feeling it’ll start to feel off and unbalanced to you.

  12. Hi I was dating a capricorn man for a year and I moved to other side of the world with him cos his visa ran out , he broke up with me 2 months later but he was devastated he cried and made him self sick for days he than flew me home and told me he still loved me and I will always be his baby girl at the airport saying goodbye , he now won’t respond to me and is ignoring me .. I’m very confused on the whole situation as to what happened and how now he can be so cold

    • Hi LJ,
      I’m sorry to hear that. ((Hugs to you)) Long distance relationships can be really tough. It just might be that he’s decided it’s not something that he can fully commit to. It doesn’t mean he does not or did not love you, it’s just that at this moment it’s tough to make it work out. All you can do now is accept that he doesn’t want this. His lack of response is answer enough. I’m sorry.

  13. This website is really helpful!!
    I have dated a Capricorn man for over a year, he’s 2 hours far from my town, but we used to date together once in two weeks usually, but he was truly into me, and we used to write so much messages through cell phones all day long. The main problem is that he is eight years older than me, we have 2 months without talking, I tried to write to him, to tell to him what went wrong but he’s ignoring me. He said that everything is over, and that we are not going to talk again. I can’t believe that this is going to happen..What to do? Do you have any advice? And how are my chances to get back with him? Because I can’t understand how can go from loving someone madly to completely ignoring him..Thank you so much :*

    • Hi Suada,
      If he’s ignoring you then follow his lead and do the same to him. Many things are possible, but take into consideration that you live a few hours from each other. The distance can really get to people who want to be closer to each other. I’m sorry, I wish I had better news. All you can do now is keep yourself busy, busy, busy and do something nice for yourself. Go out with your friends, join a new club, socialize and just get productive. This will help a lot to keep your mind off him.

  14. Hello,
    Last year I was introduced by a friend to this capy guy. He is very shy. We dated several months, but he was very quiet, seen each other around three times/month (him or me asking for the date). Mostly talking online as we both suck at talking on the phone. In words and act he sometime seemed to like me, sometimes was really distant. He is very busy, working hard to gather some money and having problems with his long ill brother…but still. He knew how I fell for him, as I told him, he instead did not opened up. There were only kissing and cuddle holding hand (sometimes), he never put a clear invitation to his place (even if I suggested it). At one point he started to prefer going out in much more private locals, yet still, nothing more. When, after eight months, I started a conversation to understand if we are having a relationship or just casual dating he pulled back saying my feelings are to strong and we should no see each other, and again, after a few days, that he though we could work,but he does not love me (in a later text he was sorry to being to harsh in that discussion…but stood on his position).
    I am scattered in tiny bits …and he just insist to get over and go on. Tried dating again but I fell like crap, even if a guy is interested in me, I cannot open up…I care only for him! We remained in touch, friends, but he is there listening to me (he, as always never talks to much), helping each other, friendly towards his family I never told him that my work was affected, deadlines not respected, still crashing and crying, and I stopped telling him what I feel about him.Its over six months now. Per total I see that he is too much there for me, for a guy that does not care for me.
    At some point we met again to lend me something. I was dress to impress, but…so was he, wearing a sweater he knew I like very much (which is not usually wearing it) and a shirt which was a present from me. We had a nice conversation, was more open in some parts (family) and even stretched his hand over my chair (for a minute or two).
    And then again, after, emails conversations were again strictly friends….
    Are capys playing games? What can I do? If I let some else close to me, he will think I was not true to him and not worth his attention?

    • Hi Criss,

      Well, you were definitely smart to have “the talk” with him after 8 months of seeing each other. Unfortunately, he stated that he didn’t feel the same way. I’m sorry that it took that long for him to finally fess up. If I were you, I’d give yourself some space from this guy. You say it’s been 6 months but you’ve been having email conversations with him, right? It’s hard to get over someone when they are still a strong presence in your life.

      This is not to say you can’t be friends later on but for now, you need to cut him off and think of yourself here. He may want you as a friend, but you need time to heal first. This isn’t going to happen and it’ll make it very hard to get over him when he is still around. Be fair and honest with yourself. Accept what he said as the truth and know that the right man is out there for you. First, focus on YOU and pull away from him. You need the space to get over him.

  15. Thank you so soo much. I had to rethink what u said. Because I love someone doesn’t mean I have to die for them. If he contacts me again to meet up (which I’m not planning on doing) or for any other reason when he gets back , do u think I should just ignore the message totally cus I don’t wanna seem childish by blocking him off my skype even after his fake Apology. Cus it’s obvious he messaged me so when he comes back he can try to manipulate me in bed again and I’m not ready for that .

    • I would just tell him that you’re not available/have a busy schedule. He should eventually get the hint. Again, be careful and keep yourself safe!

  16. Hello,
    I have been dating Capricorn man for about two months. I really like him and I would want this to work, but at the same time I don’t want to waste my time. He lives 3 hours away from me, he came to visit me three times, and I have visited him once.

    He has advised me that he will be busy for few weeks and might not be able to see me, which I understand. The issue is that our communication needs work, and that
    is where I am struggling, I am not sure how to engage him more in talking to me, it is important that we talk especially if we do not see each other for a month. I don’t want to call him, but he rarely calls me, when we are together we have an amazing time, he hugs me and
    kisses me a lot- does that mean that he likes me? Or does he only do it because he wants affection for himself?

    Also- a year ago he broke up with his ex, and he has been telling me that it is truly over between them too, but somehow I think that she might be coming back. Do they tend to take their ex’s back, or if its over for Capricorn
    its truly over?

    • Hello Amanda,

      Long distance relationships can be tough, but they are not impossible! I think it’s difficult for you because Capricorns are usually very hesitant with reaching out to partners AND communicating. This is always an issue w/ those that are not used to the silence.

      Some Caps can go days without communicating to loved ones and perhaps even longer. I think if he really cares for you he WILL listen and take your feelings into account. It is definitely important to keep the lines of communication open during that time. You can make a suggestion to try a SKYPE date and make it fun (both of you can drink wine or maybe eat together, play a game). Pay attention to how he responds, he should be open to talking a bit more, especially since he won’t be seeing you. It’s about compromise and he should definitely be open to it.

      The only thing that I’d be concerned about is if he refuses to increase the communication during his busy time. Bear in mind, it won’t be a lot but he should do enough to try and make you happy. Don’t be afraid to bring up your needs!

      • Thank you so much for your response! I did tell him that communication is important to me, and that I would like us to talk more often because that is the only way to communicate while we are apart. He has not changed anything as of yet,, does that mean he doesn’t care? Should I wait until he contacts me and see how it goes? I don’t want to chase him, but at the same time I don’t want to lose him because we did not communicate well enough. When were together past weekend everything was fine, but since then we have talked only twice. Thanks again! – Amanda

        • What did he say when you told him you’d like to talk more often? If you don’t talk every single day, I also would NOT worry. He probably needs that distance. Keep in mind that he also needs time to MISS you. I guess that it’s a delicate balance.

          No, definitely don’t chase him, he needs to be the one to do the pursuing but he has to do it on his own and not be reminded.

          • He said that he is busy with work/sports, and that usually he just calls if he has something to talk about. Thank you for your answer!
            Amanda

          • I did not do anything wrong to the Capricorn man, and he broke up with me without saying anything. I am not sure what to do now, should I just move on, or should I give him time? I don’t want him to think that I do want to move on, but also I don’t want to be a doormat. Do Capricorn man break up with a reason, or do they run away if they are unsure of the relationship? Everything was fine, and then he stopped talking to me. I am so confused. I am not sure if this is astrology related at all, but I am just hurt by his actions and how he treated me,,, I would like to have an explanation but he is not giving me one.

          • Hi Amanda,
            I’m really sorry to hear that. Did you ask him? He most likely will NOT volunteer that info. It could be the distance, it’s tough to keep it going or he may have just realized it wasn’t going to work.

  17. Hello. I hope this website is still working

    I met this capricon guy on twitter but I was friends with his brother in reality, his brother was interested in me but I never answered him. I only met him once in my country at a party and from that time on, his brother followed me on twitter and we casually talked but he knew I wasn’t interested cus I never even went to see him for once. At that time I was also chatting with the capricon dude but I never knew he had a brother I knew until later but I wasn’t bothered cus nothing went on anyways.

    After sometime I left to the Middle East to study which is 6hrs away from my country and at that time I wasn’t really giving the capricorn dude attention cus I hadn’t seen him before so it was awkward . He messaged me one day that he would also be coming to the middle east to study as well and we would have the chance to meet since I wasn’t sure of when I was going back to my country.

    When he came, he blew me off with his words that I gave it up on the first day we met at my apartment. I was so stupid but it’s happened already. After a while, the communication went strong and later on he stopped talking to me. When I realized, I just gave him space and he came back after 2 months . And invited me to his home to sleep over. Time passed by and I decided to let him know how much I liked him and to my suprise I saw a text from a girl on his phone saying she misses him and all that.

    I confronted him and he told me the truth that he was dating her and that was immediately after we had sex at his place. I felt so broken but I was happy he told me the truth then immediately he tried having sex with me again and I refused, I told him I really liked him but I can’t be a booty call for someone that is already in a relationship and knows pretty well I like him .

    So I left and few months later I was pregnant, it’s illegal in the Middle East to be pregnant without being married and when I told him he told me to give him sometime to figure things out only for me to see his pics of him turning up on Instagram and whatsapp .

    I kept calling and texting him cus I used my school fees to get pills illegally but it didn’t work for the pregnancy. The illegal doctor had to call him up to tell him about how my mom disowned me cus she found out and how I’m in no contact with my dad and I’m stranded here cus I don’t have any options left.

    He told the doctor he was ready to stick to any decision i make about the pregnancy and that he would come and visit me after his exams so we could talk about it. The doctor also told him about my Blood pressure and health issues that were affecting me at that point in time and he acted like he was taking everything serious.

    Before i knew it he called me after like two days and told me he misses me and he wanted to check on my health cus of what the doctor had told him. After like 2 weeks , this guy traveled back to my country without seeing me or contacting me. I saw photos of him at the airport. I was stranded and hopeless. I texted him before he traveled that I’d never chase him again because I don’t need him for his money or anything i just need him to own up to what we both caused and after that last message I told him I’d never disturb him again.

    Whatever happens to me so be it. After 2 weeks he left without saying anything and I also gave him the space despite my condition. One fateful day I had an accident and I lost the baby, I went through hell all through that time and I moved on anyways.

    Can u imagine this guy contacted me after 3 months on my skype and I didn’t reply his message until a week later.
    I was like “what? He now called me and told me he doesn’t know how to start explaining to me cus he knows I’m mad at him , I told him there was no need for any explanation and he asked if I had settle the “stuff” and I was like ure smart u should know , he was like from ur pictures u seem really happy so I guess u have settled it: he now asked about my school and I reminded him that i couldn’t still go back and he was like he’s coming this weekend so he wants us to see and talk and I was like hopefully to him in a sarcastic way . Then he said how have I been?

    I was like very perfect and he said okay. After one day, he sent me a skype message that “you’ve got a wonderful heart, I’m sorry for the way I handled the situation ” and my reply was “aii” . So now I’m planning to ignore him totally when he comes so he would understand what that hopefully meant .

    But I really do like him . I’m not just sure about anything cus I think if I ignore him I can be able to take control cus he knew how much I loved him but I want him to see that I’ve changed, I’m not that girl that used to obsess over him and get all emotional but still I just don’t get why he popped up out of the blue when he suspected I’ve terminated the pregnancy.

    Even after he confirmed he still messaged me. I don’t wanna be his booty call when he’s back. I want to ignore him but I don’t know if he would contact me when he’s back and I don’t why he popped up, I don’t know how to make him chase me over again. Please help !!!

    • Zolaa,
      If I were you, I’d be very careful about getting involved with a man like this. From what you wrote, it seems like he just took off (while you were still pregnant) and didn’t even bother to check back until 3 months later??! Your life was in jeopardy at that time and he basically disappeared on you. Whatever you do, don’t sleep with him again until you are absolutely sure you can handle what can happen again. He may take off once more when he’s gotten what he wants.

      A man that is truly interested in you, (Capricorn or not) will not leave you wondering about what happened to him. He won’t make you doubt his feelings for you. He will either TELL you and/or SHOW you how much he cares and you will feel it. Your best bet is to keep your options fully open and don’t settle for less than what you deserve. He’s shown you the type of man he is. I hope you stay safe!

  18. I’m very much in love with a cap and could use some objective advice, but I find it hard to post my story out in the open… Is there any way to get some feedback by email? Thanks.

  19. Hello, do you think he was a unevolved cap or just didn’t have a emotional attachment to me? Just curious ..

  20. Hello, well at this point I have decided to give up on my Cap. It’s been 11 days and I guess he couldn’t have cared about me or had any emotional attachment to me at all . I feel so silly and blindsided by it all . In his actions up to that point before we had the argument he was great . I feel like that one argument made him look at me different or something and it wasn’t my fault . I’m really hurt that he would lie and do what he said he wasn’t going to do . I have never had someone disappear on me like this . It’s just beyond cruel to me . I just don’t know what happened but I guess I never will.

    • Hi Christy,

      He may reach out eventually, but it could take some more time. I’m sorry that you’ve decided to move on but you have to do what’s best for you. I know it’s hard, but waiting for him to reach out is one of the best ways to ensure he wants/is ready to move forward with you. I wish you all the best and hope you keep me posted!

  21. Yes he is 40 this is hard , I’m going to wait . If he hadn’t said I was needy or that I was a distraction I probably would have by now . It’s like I feel I need to prove in some way that I’m not . He told me he feels he set the bar to high in the beginning because I told him that he set the pace and I just followed and it wasn’t my fault I was expecting certain things from him .. Because it wasn’t my fault since he set the tone of the relationship. But it’s like now I’m NEEDY for expecting the same behavior ..I just feel so foolish for telling him that I really care from him .

    • First, there’s Nothing wrong with telling him you care. If he’s going to bolt or take off from this then he wasn’t right for you anyway. Stay strong and keep yourself busy. Get into a project that will occupy a ton of time!

  22. Thank you , I am just so hurt . I know I have to wait it out but I have never had this happen to me. I just don’t know why he would say this “Sorry about yesterday. Didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted or like I don’t have feelings for you because i do. Just a long week”. And just disappear . Do you think my response was appropriate I just said “ok “.Should I have said more ? Do you think from that he would have thought I didn’t want to talk to him ? This is just so hurtful .. I thought he cared about me .

    • I’m sure he does care, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t. Caps can go several days without talking to their significant others and it’s not a big deal for them. He’s in his 40′s, right? It’s possible, he might be waiting for you to reach out to him. We can be so set in our ways sometimes. I think you just need to follow your gut on this one. If it feels right to you then do it.

  23. Hello, still no word from my cap. What should I do ? I read that when their not interested they disappear , do think him disappearing for a week now means he was to much of a coward to say that he wasn’t interested anymore ? I just don’t know why he would send that last text if he wanted out . I am afriad to contact him because I don’t want to push but I’m starting to think from his silence he just lost interested. He told that he didn’t want me to take it like he didn’t want to kto talk to me or that he didn’t want to see me . Should I just give up hope or is this normal for him ?

    • Hi Christy,
      Sorry for the delay. If it’s been more than a week then I’d think be concerned. The thing is, you can’t force a response from him. If he is interested he will contact you. The ball is in his court now. I know it’s hard but this is how you know if they are truly interested in moving forward. In general, Caps are very straightforward. Right about now, he may be regretting telling you the things he said, because it’s obvious you are not needy. Let him think about them.

  24. Thanks again for the response, do cap men from your knowledge lead you on or play games ? My gut is saying to leave it be and that if he really wants me , than he will contact me but at this point I’m unsure . I feel like sometimes , did he just apologize because he didn’t want to seem like a real jerk . He is 40 yrs and seems to be very mature but It will be 4 days today and that’s honestly the longest we have ever gone without talking in someway . He already accused me of being needy which I don’t believe I am , and that alone makes me not want call and I keep thinking maybe he has met someone else . I always read they are straight forward people and don’t lead you on but I guess because he said that he still wants to see me and talk I thought he would have called . I never dated anyone that has done this and we our not exclusive but both agreed we wanted to take it slow and we didn’t wNt anything casual . I have totally fallen for this man and I’m afraid he is having doubts . I know I can control what he does I’m just so confused . Actually I’m feeling heartbroken because I just don’t know which way this will go . I am going to wait but the silence from him makes me think he may just disappear . Do they usually do that to people they care about ? Especially if they are unsure if this will work out ?he didn’t seem like a liar but I just thought by now he would wonder why I haven’t checked on him . This is so hard ..I am trying to stay busy but mind and heart keep drifting back to him and if this is really over .

  25. Thank you for your response. Still know word from him and it’s tough for me but I haven’t reached out to him . I am also feeling vulnerable because in the midst of our last conversation I told him I cared about him a lot . He didn’t say anything back , but then he said he had feelings for me the day after . Do you think he would just come out and say it if he didn’t want to date anymore ? This is the first time that we have gone a weekend without him asking me out or not talking . Yes, he made it clear he wanted to have some alone time over the weekend . I just thought l would hear from him today for sure . it feels like mixed signals to me .. It’s confusing . Yes, in his words he said he still wanted to see me and still talk but In his actions it feels like he doesn’t want to be bothered . Should I have said more when I replied “ok” ? I know I’m rambling , this is just so odd to me ..

    • Christy,
      You just need to follow your gut. If it was me, I’d hold off on contacting him just to give him space and the alone time he wanted. Of course if it’s been a few more days and you haven’t heard you can always shoot him a “how are you” message. For now, keep yourself busy. His actions will speak much louder than his words– and we know that there can be very few of those when it comes to cappys.

  26. Thank you for your response to my other post, it helped tremendously. I have one other question/concern. This past Friday his uncle had a graduation out of town and he asked me to go with him and spend the night at his relatives house. We don’t officially have a title and I was terrified to go with him since we aren’t technically “dating”. Could this mean he just wants to keep me in the “friend zone”? I mean, he could see me as a friend that he cares about and just wanted us to be around his family.

    The previous morning before we left to go out of town, I took him to the hospital as he was VERY VERY sick and he said he couldn’t thank me enough and that everything I do for him doesn’t go unnoticed. Could this mean he is trying to take things further or should I just not look to deep into it?

    • Hi Suthern Belle!

      I’m not sure which post you’re referring to? If I know the backstory here, I may be able to answer your question a bit better.

      • This was the backstory:

        I have been dealing with a Capricorn guy for about 5 1/2 months now. We met through his god sister and hit it off instantly. I have never felt such a spark but I ignored it for a while since I had just got out of a long emotionally draining relationship. A few weeks went by and he would come over almost everyday, sometimes even at 2 or 3 in the morning after he got off work. We seemed to not be able to get enough of each other.

        Soon thereafter, he started having financial problems and I was there to help him with whatever he needed help with. His situation got so bad that he had to stay with me for a little while, it was fine with me since I adored him. He stayed with me for almost a month and once he got things situated with his house, he went back home. I didn’t hear from him as much as I did before so I would text him occasionally to check on him and he would come around every now and then but not as much as he did before. We would go to the movies every now and then and also out to eat occasionally. He then started to disappear for weeks at a time.

        I did some spying on him one day since I was fed up with him lying to me about coming to see me and that particular day I decided to see what the “real deal” was so I kinda followed him. He invited his god sister and myself out to eat earlier that day. Coming to find out, he ended up going out to eat with a different girl, I saw them come out of the restaurant together. After ignored texts and calls from his god sister that day, it made me furious because he could have at least answered the texts and let us know that he had a change in plans.

        I don’t understand why he ignores commitments he makes, he would invite us or me and not follow through with it. Later that day after I saw them leave the restaurant, I became furious and started to cry, my friend who introduced us decided that she should intervene since I was so distraught by the events of the whole day. I also sent him a lengthy text and before I knew it he was at my house! I explained to him how I really felt about him and he said I should have told him a long time ago because he feels the same way about me. I’m just unsure as to where this is going because I still rarely talk to him and he doesn’t come by as often but when he does we cant stop smiling and laughing with each other! Help!!!!!!!!

        • So, it sounds like you two never really became “official” as a couple, am I correct? It sounds like it was casual from the very beginning. The thing about cappies, we admire people who know what they want. If you know you want him to be your boyfriend/want to get serious with him then act like it. Don’t ever stand for broken commitments from him or any other man. Once or twice is okay w/ a VALID excuse but when it is repeated cancellations then that should tell you that something is not right or he isn’t serious.

          A man who is interested in you will not break commitments and promises he’s made. Has he taken you out on any dates? Going out on dates/outings is very important to help you two form a bond. It’s nice you can kick back at your home but you need to be more social together and go out more. Don’t accept anything less from him.

          • Yes, that is correct, we haven’t became “official” yet, we both decided to take things slow since we have experienced so many bad relationships in the past. I have told him what I want and he knows it since we discuss it. He has a lot going on in his life that needs to be resolved before we can continue and go further. I agree, he does make promises that he doesn’t keep often but he’s getting better at it. We have went on some dates, one date in particular, he wanted me to meet his cousins and they met us there. I have been around his family more and more lately. I guess I just have to see where this goes.

  27. Hello again , I am just wondering if his apology was sincere ? I don’t know why but I get the impression that he is unsure of me or something . This is the first cappyI have ever dated . im just honestly feeling very insecure in his feelings for me . I’m just scared I won’t hear from him ,. I really care about him a lot . We always have a wonderful time together . I’m just worried I guess .. This is the first weekend we have never been together at least once .. Sorry if I sound silly .. Lol just really like this guy .

    • Hi Christy,

      Well, I do think it was sincere. Right now all you can do is respect what he said, though. Yes, he overreacted but I’d still be cautious and give him some space. After all, he wanted it! And don’t worry, if he’s invested those months talking to you, I don’t think he’ll walk away that easily. Give him some space and I think you’ll hear from him soon.

  28. Just to add , he did come on very strong at first in the sense of being very open about how he was feeling and his actions were matching his words . But now it seems things have slowed . He is not being emotionally open but was still asking me over and cooking me dinner .

  29. Hi..
    I have been dating a cappy for 3 months and things have been going well until the other day . I called him the other day and texted and I guess he was still at work wish I wasn’t sure of . He calls me back and I asked if he wanted to do dinner or something the next day and then he tells me he has had a long week and wants some me time this weekend . I wAs find with it but I heard this attitude in his voice . He is training for this bodybuilding competition and I have noticed that between work and that , that seems to be his Priorty . Anyway , he proceeds to tell me we need to talk about us and that lately I have been doing things to annoy him and i am needy to him . I asked him in what way and he tells me that sometimes when I text him and he is still at work it’s annoying and that sometimes I’m needy for time . I just was really blindsided . He does all the intating and I have asked only twice about seeing him . He told me he is really focused on this competition and I am like a distraction .. Bascailly I felt he was projecting anger or frustrating on to me . Everything just seemed so great then this . he did text me the next day and said I’m sorry for yesterday . I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted or that I don’t have feelings for you because I do . It just has been a long week . I did respond and just said ok but I haven’t heard a word from him since and it’s been two days . I could have said a lot more but did not wAnt to send an emotional text .What should I do ??? I have not tried to contact him since he said all that stuff to me .

    • Hi Christy!
      Well, I think you’re doing the right thing by not contacting him for now. It sounds like he was just really stressed out and projecting. Sometimes we can take things out on the people we really care the most about. You didn’t deserve that at all. For now, I would definitely take a step back and give him some space and just wait for him to contact you. He really needs to be the one to do that as he made it clear he needed some “me” time.

      That does NOT mean you have anything to worry about, Caps really do need a lot of space and quite a bit of alone time which can be really disheartening to eager romantic partners. If I were you, I’d get busy and enjoy some time with your girlfriends, have lunch/dinner with family. Find an extra hobby to keep you busy. It sounds like he’ll be in touch shortly when he recharges his batteries!!

      Keep me posted.

  30. I have been dealing with a Capricorn guy for about 5 1/2 months now. We met through his god sister and hit it off instantly. I have never felt such a spark but I ignored it for a while since I had just got out of a long emotionally draining relationship. A few weeks went by and he would come over almost everyday, sometimes even at 2 or 3 in the morning after he got off work. We seemed to not be able to get enough of each other.

    Soon thereafter, he started having financial problems and I was there to help him with whatever he needed help with. His situation got so bad that he had to stay with me for a little while, it was fine with me since I adored him. He stayed with me for almost a month and once he got things situated with his house, he went back home. I didn’t hear from him as much as I did before so I would text him occasionally to check on him and he would come around every now and then but not as much as he did before. We would go to the movies every now and then and also out to eat occasionally. He then started to disappear for weeks at a time.

    I did some spying on him one day since I was fed up with him lying to me about coming to see me and that particular day I decided to see what the “real deal” was so I kinda followed him. He invited his god sister and myself out to eat earlier that day. Coming to find out, he ended up going out to eat with a different girl, I saw them come out of the restaurant together. After ignored texts and calls from his god sister that day, it made me furious because he could have at least answered the texts and let us know that he had a change in plans.

    I don’t understand why he ignores commitments he makes, he would invite us or me and not follow through with it. Later that day after I saw them leave the restaurant, I became furious and started to cry, my friend who introduced us decided that she should intervene since I was so distraught by the events of the whole day. I also sent him a lengthy text and before I knew it he was at my house! I explained to him how I really felt about him and he said I should have told him a long time ago because he feels the same way about me. I’m just unsure as to where this is going because I still rarely talk to him and he doesn’t come by as often but when he does we cant stop smiling and laughing with each other! Help!!!!!!!!

    • Well, you said you ignored the way you felt considering you were fresh out of a long relationship. It’s possible he picked up on that and decided to keep his distance. If you tell a Cap something we will believe you but we’ll also look at your actions. Actions do speak louder than words. So if you were distancing yourself then he felt it and followed suit. If you’re ready to give this a try then be honest with yourself and with him. You’re either all in or out with a Cap.

  31. I got to know cap 5 weeks ago on website and could chat day and nite and he would listen to my stories and have a good laugh however, only basic things i know about him, his family, his siblings, where he works. We have yet to meet for he says he is travelling and it doesn’t bother me for we were chatting all day all nite for 5 weeks…suddenly something i said that made me write me off with no reasoning and me being one that will not give up unless he says it’s over, wrote three times and finally today saw him on chatline, apologised again and he says i am worst than stalker, writing remarks on chatline haha told me he was my only friend in this website..though we chat, but feel so distance, he kept saying that he thinks i am toying with him and me, never had a bf before, am going HUH…you are right, taking it easy and if it’s mine, it’s mine, if it’s not, no point trying for it will never be…ps. i am a cancerian hahaha

    • Hi Sunshine,

      Sorry for the delay in responding. It sounds like you two got your wires crossed. Give him a bit of space and see what comes from it. Really, this is your best bet.

  32. I am SO confused. I have been seeing this Capricorn man for over a year and a half now and I don’t get him at all lately. I am SO attracted to him in every way and think he likes me. He texts me and I text him almost every other day. He travels a HUGE amount but will text me from where he is at almost everyday or every other day. I just saw him a day ago and I was SO happy to see him. However, I went to use his spare bathroom and there were samples of shampoo that were a womans brand and conditioner AND I also found a ponytail rubberband on the floor in that same bathroom. Well, we have never discussed seeing each other exclusively OR becoming boyfriend/girlfriend either. So,I guess it is my fault for not coming out and establishing what our situation was long ago-so, I cannot be mad. He does not take me out places as he said he likes to stay in when he is home as he travels SO much and I totally understand that also. Besides that the weather is VERY cold where we live to. He was VERY attentive when I see him and very affectionate also. I guess I just dont know what to do next. I am always planning little “Surprises” for him and he said he loves that! Well, I just texted him 3 hours ago asking him if he ever played golf at this particular golf course ( as I am planning a surprise for him there) but so far he has not responded at all. I also left my scarf at his place on the morning I left him and I texted him ” Sorry baby, I meant to grab your scarf at your place and I meant to grab it” and I got nothing texted back either! Could someone help me? I am SO confused and I dont want to look desperate– I just want to know what the heck to do next?

    • Hi Tracy,

      I think now is the time to have that “exclusivity” discussion. Don’t postpone it any longer, unless you are fine with him seeing other women at this point in time. Don’t be afraid to have that discussion with him. If he backs away or freaks out about being exclusive, then it’s really a sign that he is not the one for you. Also, just because he does not text within a few hours doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It’s possible he was just busy with work or tied up. If it’s been a day or two and no response then I would be worried. However, at this point in time in your relationship, I do think it’s a little odd that he does not take you out at all. I understand that it’s cold but he has to leave the house sometime (at least to get groceries).

      I’d definitely ask him if he’s seeing other women. This is really going to let you know a lot.

    • Thank you for your response. I DID hear from him ( via text) later that same day. I DO get impatient with him at times. Being a Aries- I get impatient when I don’t get a answer right away sometimes! ( LOL) I understand where you are coming with having the “exclusivity” discussion. I am just really afraid he will say he does NOT want a “exclusive” relationship after all this time and I will be crushed! He was a hard one to get close to at first! I guess its better to find out now after we have been intimate and we have been in contact for more than a year! I just saw him two days ago and I SHOULD have asked him then, but I chickened out AGAIN and I realize now it is not doing my heart ANY good anymore. Another man really wants to take me out now- I am just not into him as much as I am with my current guy. He is everything I am looking for, but then again I cannot make him want to be with me exclusively as it is HIS decision to make. I hope everything works out for the best!

      • well, I sent this capricorn man a text early this morning and basically asked him if he had a girlfriend or someone he was seeing exclusively– his response was “Honey, I don’t have time for dating right now- let alone a girlfriend LOL. I was planning a surprise for him as well that was to help his golf game and he said ” Don’t plan anything for me. Chances are my schedule will change on a daily basis. ——-( which is truly DOES as he does not have a 9-5 job!) That alone was a blow of to me — don’t you agree? I feel really heartbroken now as I have spent quite awhile trying to make him see I was “special” and different! What a joke!

        • Tracy,

          I’m really sorry to hear his response. For me, it really does sound like a blow off and was pretty cold and harsh but at least now you KNOW exactly where he stands with you. IT sounds like in his mind you two were very casual. He was being honest. The question now is whether you want to continue with him knowing all of this. If he doesn’t see how special you are now, what else will it take to make him realize it? I think you know that you deserve and have deserved better than this. You have to put your foot down and demand more than what you’re getting. If you lay down your expectations or set your standards high from the beginning, the man that is meant for you will meet them and exceed them and do whatever it takes to make you happy.

  33. I was working with a capricorn man for a few years. He would send me text messages for holiday greetings and call me on my way home from work. He always told me a was a nice person with a good heart.
    We decided to see where things would go and started sexting and texting, we never slept together. He would send me pictures of his grandkids etc…
    I loved our time texting to each other. We would text on my way home from work every day, In the beginning he would text me out of the blue but then I would be the first to text always. He told me a few times that I was trying to hard.
    One day on my way home I texted him cuse I really need to talk to him as a friend and he didn’t reply and stupid me just keep texting and he got really really mad at me. He told me that I was to attaching and I texted to much and he stopped talking to me. I wrote him trying to explain my actions but it was like he didn’t care and just didn’t even want to be my friend anymore. I did send him a email telling him I thought I loved him and he told me that wasn’t real because we never even kissed. My feeling is you can love someone just by knowing someone and having daily interactions with that person.

    What can I do? I do send him a text message or email once in a while just to say hi but he never responds back. I did text him and tell him that he was my friend no matter what and I wasn’t going to let his actions make me not be a nice person. Will he ever talk to me again. He is a capricorn and I am a libra.

    • Dear Devastated,

      I’m sorry that he’s blown you off like that, especially since you two started out as friends, it sounds a little strange to me. :( I want to ask, did he ever take you out on dates or ever initiate a date or was this strictly phone communication?

      • No dates as I am married. Please don’t think badly of me. It was strictly phone texting or talking. He told me he really liked me and I was a good person and awesome friend. I loved to text with him and I really wanted to get to know him better and figured that was the best way to do that. I told him that I wanted to get to know him before anything went further.
        He had always said he was going to move here and then one day he told me that he was offered a job close to his home and he was leaving. He continued to tell me that we weren’t over than he would figure something out. He always told me that. I was so upset when he told me he was leaving I couldn’t believe it and it really threw me. I felt like I was losing everything that we had started. So I guess I over texted him and that upset him alot. He told me that I was to attaching and texted to much that I couldn’t go a day without texting and then stopped talking to me. I tried to apologize to him about it and that I would tone it down and he told me I needed to get on with my life. I asked if we could be friends and he never responded back to me. I just really miss my friend. I asked him from the every beginning if there was anyone else in his life and he said no. I texted him a few weeks ago to say I was only about 1/2 hour from him did he want to meet. I replied back that I was delusional that he had a good women. Why did he play me like that? He didn’t seem like that kind of guy at all. Why would he risk ruining the friendship we had. Or did he just say he had someone so I would leave him alone?

        • Why won’t he talk with me about this or anything? It is so cold and rude to just simply ignore someone. I told him that I would never be so rude as to ignore him ever or anyone I knew.
          How do you ever expect to try to fix a friendship or any relationship if you don’t talk. I guess I know now why he has been married a few times…He is such a pig head!
          I guess we weren’t friends like I thought! I am a poor judge of character! It just hurts that I was such a fool! I just wish I knew what his game was all about.

          • Well, the fact that you’re married could be the deciding factor here. Capricorns can be very traditional and you are a committed woman. I’m starting to think that he only saw you as just a friend. He even told you that you were a “good person and awesome friend.” He put you in the friend category from the beginning (so it seems).

            This is why physically dating is important because it allows people to bond with each other and grow closer. He kept you at a distance and most likely it was done on purpose, he knew you were married.

          • You are probably right. I must have left things out. It was earlier in when he said I was an awesome friend. It was back in September when we decided to see where things would go and we really started texting and sexting and all the talk about moving here. The sexting was fun but it made me feel more than I should have. We tried to cross that line from friendship and due to that lost a friend. I just don’t understand why he ignores me now and why he can’t be that friend again. If he was keeping me at a distance on purpose why would he play that game. He brought up the sexting, I didn’t even know what that was until he mentioned it…LOL. Why would he play those games being my friend knowing someone was gonna get hurt. He just didn’t seem like that kind of person. He will not respond at all to me when I have emailed or texted him and I don’t do it often either. I wrote a nice note saying I wished him well and thanked him for being there for me to talk to when I needed someone. I told him he was my friend no matter what. I got nothing back at all.

          • Well.. I think you just have to give him some space for now and let him be. He’s gone cold because he doesn’t want to encourage you romantically. If he values your friendship, I think he’ll reach out eventually but it may take awhile.

            The “exting” was him trying to push boundaries. I don’t think he was playing games, he was just being a man. If you put your foot down and refuse for whatever reason he would have respected that.

            In the meantime, get busy enjoying your life, family and friends. Get busy with a new hobby, go shopping, spend some time on YOU. You’ll be so busy you won’t even have the time to think about him.

  34. Hi,
    Since I read all the comments, thought I would ask for a suggestion. My family is friends with this cap man. I remember long time ago in high school, he was staring at me at a wedding event. I ignored him. we never talked or anything. Now, after like 10years lol I added him on facebook because I know his sister etc and thought Id get to know him too. we have been talking since novemeber. when I say talking, I mean just as friends. he lives far away and hes a doctor. I am assuming he is usually so busy. He comes down usually the weekends. we used to text here and there. finally out of blue I told him I think he is so handsome. he was flattered and told me we should start haning out soon. so we hung out once at a coffee shop. it was nice, we talked about work etc and when leaving he said we should do this more often.
    then when he left I messaged him saying I had a good time etc. next time i messaged him saying we shud hang out again. he told me he was back in town and we got together for his bday. we had a quick coffee and he complimented my hair. next day i told him i forgot to give him his bday gift. he was down to meet up for 20mint before he left down. when leaving he said, we agreed to do something different next date.
    and now..last time we hung out in late december (28th). I text him here and there like every other day. he never texts me first lolz. he told me, he was in town but it was a rush trip so he couldn’t meet up. I said it’s okay may be next time. so finally I was thinking really hard, like I dont know he really likes me or not. so I decided to ask him if he would mind if a woman asks him out. he said no he would. I asked him he wanted to get together that way we can get to know each other better. he agreed and said we should spend more time. but usually when he comes down, his weekends are so short. it is so annoying he texts me back so late or I always have initiate the texts. he is so sweet man, and he’s 30. I really like this man. I just dont know, does he really like me? or is he just like annoyed by me, or just being nice to me because he is a nice person. I losing my patience because I keep texting him every other day. and it’s not like he doesnt reply, he does. I feel like I am so honest with him about my feelings that he will appreciate that. I am kinda lost. it is so hard to tell if he likes me.

    • Hello Soni! Okay so It’s tough to tell whether he is truly interested in you (more than just friends) because you said you are the one that is always initiating. I think the easiest way to really tell is to pull back from the texting him every other day. You don’t need to do it. You’re basically doing his job for him and if you continue, it’s going to leave you feeling really off balance and frustrated. In my opinion, sometimes Capricorns need to be encouraged and want to know it’s “safe” to proceed. The thing is, it sounds like you are doing too much already so stop initiating and let him start to lead you. If he’s interested he will!! Whenever he does initiate, be encouraging, friendly (your usual self). I know it’s hard, but it’s the only way to really tell if he really is truly interested in seeing you. If you’ve truly been honest with him about your feelings then the ball is in his court! Keep us posted!

      • this is going to be a challenge. I will simply not text him until valentines day. If he texts me before that to hang out, that will be awesome. if not, I will wait till valentines day. If he doesn’t wish me for valentines day, then I guess that’s a major hint.

        Thank you so much for your feedback..because I was just about to text him. lolz But I didn’t. I will keep you posted.

        • Good! In the meantime, keep yourself busy. Hang out with your friends, family, spend some time on a favorite hobby and just ENJOY yourself!

          • It has been a week and he hasn’t messaged me. I guess it is confirmed that he is not into me. =/

          • I know it’s hard but it’s really just a sign he might not be the one for you. Keep yourself busy and go out with friends and spend some time doing things that you enjoy. It’ll make it easier and you may realize you’re too busy to think about him.

        • If I ignore him, I don’t want him to think I don’t like him. but at the same time I want to ignore him that way he can miss me (which is clearly not happening. Ah this is so frustrating.

  35. I have known my capricorn male friend since 1994,we dated then for a short while.He was in a very bad space at the time and our relationship ended,he explained many years later that it was because he didn’t want me to get hurt.I married some one else two years later.I saw him again when I was pregnant with my 4th child in 2004 we just picked up our friendship again and he would visit me often and make me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world he even tried to kiss me,but ofcourse I was married and pregnant and said no..thereafter we lost contact and our lives carried on in diffrent directions,I saw him again a few years later and he was in a bad way..it was a brief meeting and again we drifted without contact..until 2013,he texted me via fb and we got talking again..and we have been in contact on whatsapp since then,which totals 5mnths now..at first it was small talk..”how are you..I would chat about my life,he would listen and advise me ect..I suffered a lot throughout my marriage,and it helped to have someone listen and understand,he would always compliment me,say I’m a sexy momma,tell me I look so good after all these years..I would always just smile and thank him..never did I make him feel like I was interested..I would playfully flirt with him sometimes..he has a great sense of humour which made it fun..and then there would be days we would go without chatting and it would be ok..because from my side we were friends..and when I fell ill he texted me everyday to see how I was feeling and he was genuinely concerned which made me feel special…after awhile we started chatting again..he invited me to his home and we drove to a coffee shp..the way he looks at me and the way he is around me..very touchy feely..he stares at me a lot when I’m not looking and he is very nervous in my company..we hugged and I left..and since then I’ve been confused..I started developing feelings for him..and look for reasons to text him..in the beginning he was soo warm with me..but then h became cold and distant..he is very indiffrent with me and when I try to speak about his feelings he says it all in my mind and convinces ma of it..he even went as far as to tell me WE are just friends and even if I wasn’t married we would just be friends..I’m going through a divorce which is dragging out.I can’t stop thinking about him and trying to figure out if he does have feelings for me or not..what he said about the just friends bit..it really hurt me a lot..because I feel that he drew me in with his charm and when I fell for it..he spat me out..now I’m left with a broken heart and all the confusion in the world..because I love him..help!

    • Hi Naz,

      Well.. if he told you point blank that you are “just friends,” you really have no choice but to believe him. I think it’s especially hard because it seems like you’ve always had feelings for him from the very beginning (you have a history together) while he put you in the “friend” box since the breakup long ago. He most likely values your friendship immensely and doesn’t want to lose that with you.

      Right now, you are going through a difficult and already heartbreaking process. Give yourself time to grieve the end of your marriage. Focus on yourself, focus on healing and on your children. Lean on your friends and family whom you feel most comfortable and at ease with. They are there for you when you need them.

      Most of all.. give yourself time to recover from your divorce. Take it day by day and focus on the now. Don’t worry about the Cap. The most important person right now is YOU.

  36. Very well said.
    I will definitely give him his space. It’s just annoying when he says he misses me and all this stuff. Like, why complain? You didn’t want to be together and you usually cut your ex’s off anyways.
    Earlier this week, I asked him if I could hold him and he said yes. He missed it. It’s like he’s yearning for my love like a puppy and wants that intimacy back but he’s holding himself back. It’s almost sad that a confident Cap is going through a time like this only to bury himself into work even more.

    Anyways, I will work on myself like you said. As of right now, I want to be with him. I don’t give up on things I want but I will keep reflecting as time goes on. He said he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but me. I just hope he keeps his promise and comes back..

    This really is a great site. Thank you SO much. I greatly appreciate this.

  37. He was not very clear on how long he needed but he always says he will come back. We have this thing where we can read each other so I believe a couple of months is what he’s looking for. Once he stated that if it took him more than a couple months, he’s not doing what he has to do. His new job involves a lot but most of it will be done during the summer. He is from a different city but goes to college here. He’s made it clear that he will stay the summer. He even moved back here last summer to start our relationship before college began again. Anyway, I think he would need until May or June to start focusing on us again.

    I feel like this week was closure basically. After this, we understand what it actually means to break up. We will not be hanging out much or talking at all but if we do, we decided to still say I love you or call each other only when we really need help.

    Yes, he initiated the breakup. I told him we could work it out and I could tell from that moment up until now that he’s going back and forth with what really happened in his head. He told me he wants to be with me, wants marriage, and everything we’ve talked about in the past but I feel the more he thinks about what he has to do, the more he says no.

    I respect it but like I said, I don’t want to make myself too available. I told him to take all the time in the world because we have each other’s hearts no matter what.. But don’t take forever because I won’t be here forever… Do what you have to do. Confind in me when you need to but do well because I know you can.

    I always encourage him. He said that I’m not one of the other girls he’s dated.. I’m special and that’s why this situation is so hard. He can’t let me go fully because I’m his baby. I asked him why he didn’t ball and he said no one can ever see when I’m hurt. He also told no one about the breakup.. Not his roommate, mother (She’s a taurus and they’re close), or his best friend.

    I just wanted you to understand the aura of it all.. Is it a test? I’ll respect his space and focus on me but do I wait? He said he’d wait for me. The things about it is… Even though we’re not together, he has my heart and during these months, I don’t see myself acting “single” only to get right back into a relationship that I felt shouldn’t have been broken in the first place. It shows lack of perseverance… That we weren’t strong when we actually were strong enough to get through anything.

    • I think he might be going through a difficult time and he just needs alone time. I would give it to him. Taurus women are so strong, cool and confident and are wonderful partners AND make amazing friends to caps. It’s really hard to let go of that. No, I don’t think he’s testing you at all. He’s being honest when he tells you he needs the time. If I were you, I’d give him his space but enjoy YOUR life as well and don’t wait too long for him to make up his mind on whether he wants to continue. This is also a time for you to ask yourself if YOU want to continue w/ him. He is showing you who he is right now and how he handles adversity. Him wanting the break could be a sign that he may not be ready to take it to the next level and give you what you really and truly need. It’s quite possible he just doesn’t want to say it, although I hope this is not the case.

      If I were you, I’d take advantage of this time and reflect on where you’d like to go from here with him (if anywhere). Remember, that this just isn’t his decision, it’s yours, too. And you want a solid partner who does not have any doubts about taking it to the next level with you.

  38. Hi!

    I’m a taurus! I had a great relationship with a Cap male. We met, fell in love, and we’re so natural together. He expressed no ones EVER brought out what I’ve brought out in him. He’s been through the skies for me and back so I know he loves me deeply. He always calls (and acts like) I’m one of a kind. He’s met my family and vice versa, everything was perfect. I’m the kind of person that voices my opinions. He hates being wrong an loves to do everything his way. I respect that because he knows I trust him.

    The new year brought on a lot of stress for him. He’s doing well In school but demands more. There’s A LOT of stress from his family and job. We broke up last week. He’s says he just needs time to get through the semester. I even asked him straight up what HE wanted and he finally said I don’t have to wait. I told him I won’t. I said I won’t have sexy with anyone else but if I do, I’ll let you know and it would be entitlement for you to do the same too. He was actually the FIRST person to say he wouldn’t have sex during our break.

    We both hate games. We actually have been hanging out this week because it was his birthday. He’s been so confused with life and our situation but we both agree we’d still be loyal in matters to having each other’s hearts. I plainly told him that it was messed up what he did but I support him. We’ve spent days talking about us and we finally understand where this could go and how this time could be beneficial for getting ourselves together more. I told him I’d be here if he still wanted to date but to make sure he’s together first. He promised he’d come back… I stopped texting him during the day and he started texting me, asking me about how I’m doing so I know he misses me but I’m not going to initiate a convo.

    I’m going to give him space but when we hang out, it’s like we’re still dating even though we don’t have sex, kiss, spend the night, or come over. I stated what I had to say and am not initiating contact but he knows I’m here for him…..
    I love him and we’ve talked about marriage and everything…. Is he testing me? I’m doing the right thing by staying loyal and giving him space right? We think we’re soulmates. I want to wait but I don’t want to wait for something that may never happen even though he promised.. And he emphasized his promise too…

    Thank you.

    • You officially broke up but you are still seeing each other and hanging out, so what is this “time” that he needs? This does not really seem like a break because you are still in contact with each other. For me, I think it makes it difficult to step back from the situation and give both of you that perspective that you really need to evaluate your relationship and see if you both want to continue.

      Have you two set a time period on when your break will officially end? I think a break (no contact break) can be a good thing, he has some issues he needs to work through and apparently he feels like he needs to do them alone. When you set a time period on it, like say, a month, then you at least know it won’t go on forever. Ultimately, a decision does have to be made and that no contact period could give both of you the perspective you really need.

      Is he the one that initiated the break up?

  39. I met the capricorn man when he started work at my company (he was my manager) . The first time i met him he was tounge tied and shy. The bond was instentaneous from there, he called me every day at work and we would talk for at least an hour each day. I had a medical emergency 2 months into his time there and was rushed to hospital for an operation. He visited me 3 days later in hospital and kept in touch the 4 months I was absent from work, the calls trailed off a bit naturally during that period. When I returned to work this August, things didn’t go according to plan and I came up against a lot of conflict from the women in head office (I worked in a private home as a Carer) and went through so so much stress and frustration which was not recommend after the surgery. The cap man called me every day for the first two weeks to tell me how he had a soft spot for me and how much he cares, he told me he cares for everyone but me more, he said “your more. We discussed our bond and I began to see a lot more of him at work, we talked each night on the phone for hours and although we were comfortable over the phone with emotions, we were both shy in person (I’m a gemini but can be reserved) this became easier as the days wore on and we became happy in each others company even though we were both going through such a hard time with work by that point, he had drummed into my head how much he cared about me, he made me dependant on him to the point that the only thing thing that made me feel better and comforted me was to be with him or hear his voice. He mentioned that we must have been twins in our past lives due to our similarities. He resigned from work as did I and we left on the 20th September. We have both suffered depression through the last few weeks because of the energy required from the old company, I’m going for interviews now but he had to start work the Monday after. He hates it and needs time off, he spends his nights and weekends in bed and I’m not hearing from him unless I check in him, I am genuinely worried about him as I realised I was in love about 2 weeks before we left work. He came for dinner the night before we left and mentioned that he will take me out for some nice dinners, he talks in the phone sometimes but others won’t answer but he will text instead. Like he’s too depressed to even talk. He had also had a cold constantly for the last couple of months, it leaves him for a few days and then returns worse. I seriously miss him as I’m still going through the motions of what happened to my health (it was brain surgery), with what happened with work, and also the added issue if him, which I didn’t see coming amongst the work stuff. Now I’m pining for him. He says he will see me when he’s well. I’m worried and am pining for him at the same time, I feel hurt. Is this a situation where he’ll come back? His last serious relationship ended 3 years ago

    • Anika,
      I’m sorry to hear about your surgery and I hope that you’re on the mend. ((Hugs))

      One thing that’s important to know about Cappys (and many other people as well) is that quitting, leaving or starting a new job can be INCREDIBLY stressful for us. We are creatures of habit so it takes awhile to get back into the groove and finding our place at the new job. This might be what’s going on with him and I definitely wouldn’t take it personally.

      All you can do is keep things light and friendly because we always keep friends in our lives. In addition, it’s the best way to get even closer to him. Keep in touch but also let him initiate conversations. Don’t do all the work, let him reach out as well.

      Be sure to take good care of yourself because you’re still healing from surgery! It sounds incredibly traumatic and I hope you take it easy and be patient with yourself. Also, don’t stress yourself out about this! : )

      He’ll be back!

  40. HELP!. I met this guy at work. He seems interested because he was asking if I have a bf, ask for my fb and number. Then at work, he always talks to me asking about me ,my life,experiences,seems very interested in knowing me. Then we always chat , text and calling everyday. He asked me out finally then we got intimate. He is very attentive and always ask about my family, things that I am interested in, it seems to me that I am on a job interview with this guy. he even bring me to his house and spent the night talking, laughing and cuddling. After 2 dates things begin to change. He becomes so distant and cold. he came from a 10 yrs relationship and admitted he is still hurt and not ready. he told me if I could help him fix his heart. But he admitted that I am perfect and he really likes me. Idk…sigh. He’s giving me mixed signals. I am so confused idk what to do. Should I be patient and wait? Or I need to leave him alone? Help me, seriously.

    • Hey Katara,
      It sounds like things moved a bit too fast. I’d take a step back and relax, give yourself some perspective. If he’s told you he’s not ready then take him for his word. He’s telling you the truth. He can’t really be rushed or expect you to help “fix his heart.” That’s not your job and it’s unfair to you.

      If anything, you can take things slowly.. very slowly but be cautious about moving too fast.

      • Thanks so much for your insight. I did, relax and enjoy my life. But now he is acting weird, he called me yesterday and shows up outside my place. He invited me for dinner, we talked about some sort of things that is not related. He bombardeD my phone with lots of messages when I did not reply, he calls me. What’s with him now? I do not understand. Thank u. More power

  41. Broke things off w my cap guy last june due to his immaturity and issues with drugs. He treated me amazing, but the drug issue was just too big to ignore. Btw, do caps tend to have addictive personalities? The wknd before we broke up, we went out of town together and he surprised me with rose petals, champagne and chocolate strawberries in our hotel room (very romantic for a cappy ;)). I also got to meet some of his family which was nice and they loved me. Any way, I ended up reaching out to him in a few months ago and he was really excited to hear from me. Things have been great although he only texts me every few days, not every day as before. Also, he said he quit his job recently. We spent a few wknds away together and everything was great until he went back to his old party ways and blacked out one night. We got into an argument the next day and I told him that I just want to be friends (even though that’s not what I wanted). He responded with, “what did you just call me?” and i told him that he never expresses anything to me or tells me what he wants…he just stated that we have a good time together and that’s all that matters. Next day after the fight was ok, he dropped me off at my place and didn’t make plans with me for the following wknd. Feeling bad about telling him I only wish to be friends, I call him and ask him if he is home as I have a surprise for him since I had got him a few really awesome, thoughtful xmas gifts. He wasn’t home as he was dealing with some friend drama so I texted him the next day asking when I could see him since I was so excited to give him the gifts and knew he was going out of town….for the first time, he took 2 days to respond saying he’s been sick with the flu, bed ridden and hopes I am feeling well. I respond 10 hours later (since it took him 2 days) saying I had a long day at work and I hope he’s feeling better. Don’t hear from him after that text so I go up to the mountains to ski with a good guy friend of mine and what do you know, we run into him after taking our first run in line for the lift. I turn around and see him by himself, we make eye contact, but I just turned back around and kept talking to the guy friend I was with. Been a few weeks now and I still haven’t heard from him. No merry xmas, no happy new year, nada…just dropped off the face of the planet without warning. I know he’s just been partying nonstop, but he could at least say hi. Is he too ashamed after getting caught in a lie? I know caps don’t like confrontation. Does he not want a relationship with me? Is he scared? Btw, he’s 33 y/o so not sure why he’s still partying like he is a high school teen…I know he had some childhood family issues (he opened up to me in the past) so it could stem from that. I do care about him a lot and only wish the best for him, but this silent treatment is no bueno.

    • Hi, Scorpiogal. It sounds like he’s just in a bad place right now. Addictive personalities? Perhaps.. I think it all depends on other positions in his chart but it’s possible, yes.

      Him ignoring you, not saying hello while skiing was strange. Yeah, he was caught in a lie, he might be waiting for some time to pass and possibly hoping it’ll just blow over. Really, you won’t know until he comes out of his funk.

      From what you wrote, it sounds like he’s trying but he hasn’t quite grown up yet. I’d remain friends but keep on with your life and don’t let this guy drag you down. You did the right thing by being straight with him.

  42. Hello, I have been seeing this Capricorn guy since oct. For the first month and a half it was great, texting everyday, on the phone for hours. We were intimate. Then out of nowhere bam, the texts were only initiated by me, he made excuses any time I wanted to spend time with him. When I first asked him what had changed for him, he said his feelings for me had not changed, but he wants to take it slow now. He still keeps in contact with me, sometimes he will text me good morning first, or I will, but he always replies.

    There has not been one full day without us at least texting. I told him that he is confusing me, and he is being distant. Last week I even tried telling him that I could feel he has made a decision about us already, and we should just go our separate ways. He called immediately and excused his recent behavior, by saying he is going through a lot right now, and I should not worry. ..im so confused. .HELP!

    • Tiff,

      It’s normal for a guy to pull away a little like this. I wouldn’t worry too much about it unless he stops contacting you. It’s a good sign that he’s responding quickly and texting you in the mornings occasionally.

      You said, “out of nowhere the texts were only initiated by me.” If this is the case then you need to pull back a little as well. Mirror his actions and if you feel him initiating less then do the same to regain the balance that you had before. Keep busy with friends, family, work, etc. and do your thing. Wait for him to initiate, he most definitely will keep at it if he’s truly interested.

  43. Hi. I need some advice on this Cap I’ve been seeing. He pursued me in the beginning and we went on a few dates which ended up being really fun and there was a lot of chemistry.

    He then started to drift away and not contact me as much when one night I texted him and said that I wanted to see him. He said he’d love to see me and he did that night but after that he started getting cold. I asked him to hang out twice after that and he was either busy or flaked last minute with some excuse.

    That’s when I went cold turkey on him for about a week with no communication between us whatsoever. I was surprised when I received a text from him one evening saying how much he was sorry about not seeing me and that he was not a flake intentionally and just had a lot going on and enjoyed his alone time and didn’t know how to balance the two.

    I only responded “ok understandable” and left it at that. Ran into him the next evening and he took me home and we had amazing sex…and he got a little cold again. Not as much as before but he kept contact to a minimum. Which I did again. I’d see him out at the bars every weekend (unplanned) but if we ran into each other he was always with me after that. Gotten to know his closest friends now and we’ve all hung out together and he’s texting me more now but I kinda don’t know where I stand at this point.

    We’ve gone on a date again recently and it was great but I’m sorta (well really) confused. I don’t believe he’s seeing anyone else. Every time I see him out he’s with no one else but his friends. That first time we slept together he stated that “he doesn’t do this with just anyone” and I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. If I see him out and we have fun but we go our separate ways he ALWAYS texts me when he gets home.

    This has all been within a 3 month time frame. Is it too soon to tell? Is he interested or stringing me along? Know he’s busy with work and he keeps a small tight network of friends who he LOVES to spend most of his time with if it’s not with him self. Help?

    • The fact that you’ve already had sex can be a hindrance if you have not had enough time to really get to know each other well. I don’t know your total history but I think what you need to do is watch his actions. If he is truly interested, he will keep contacting you (and not just to have sex). Caps can be stand-offish and pull away which will turn off a lot of people and make them give up hope and lose interest. This doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not interested. These men can move incredibly slow (emotionally), so be prepared for it.

      Stay calm, cool and collected when he does this (within a reasonable time frame). If you want something more then be patient and let him pursue you and ask you out on more dates. You can ALSO drop hints to let him know this, such as.. “I really wanted to go to this event, it sounds like fun!”

      As long as he’s reaching out to you and initiating, you’re still good. Usually if they’re not interested, they just drop off.

  44. Hey! I’ve read some of the posts here and I’d like your perspective on a fling I had with a Cap man. I’m a Pisces.

    I had actually known of him professionally before, but had never talked to him and was therefore not instantaneously attracted to him. As it happens often, one night we got talking and ended up talking till morning. The next day we slept together and afterwards I just casually said bye to him and told him that it had been fun and that it was fun hanging out with him. The reason I did this is that even though I felt a deep spark, we live in two different countries and having been in a long distance relationship before I never wanted to have one again. He also sort of said bye (all in a very gentle tone) and then kept texting me over the next couple of days. The communication intensified and after a while I sort of gave in, since I also liked him a lot. We had this sort of natural communication, where he didn’t need to say a lot for me to understand him and vice versa. He also said that there was something special between us.

    I fell for him hard, we were together for about 4 months. In that time we saw each other twice, 2 days at a time. It all felt ok, and I felt him pull away a bit, but he threw me because I asked him if we could see each other the third time and he never answered. I asked him this about a month after we had been together the second time. I waited for about a week for his response and when it didn’t come, feeling hurt, I wrote him that I just hated having my sentiments ignored and that I’d rather he be honest with me if he didn’t want to see me. He apologised and said he had been busy and had just forgotten to reply.
    Anyway, we talked and I realised that my feelings for him might be stronger than his for me (then again I don’t know, since I now know that Caps don’t show emotion), so I asked for a clean break. And for a Piscean, feeling unwanted is the worst. I realised 14 days after that I really missed him and that I should tell him that I had fallen in love with him, so I did that and he answered that he wasn’t ready for a relationship at all, but also avoided my suggestion that we could take it slow. That was it for me. I can usually decide to be done with something, and that’s it, almost no matter how I feel, cause some of the trust is gone.

    2 months later I see him and sort of just ignore him, thinking it would be easier for us both, since it’s easier if we don’t have to talk to each other and be awkward. Plus we had initially agreed on a clean break, which I still feel is in effect at this time.
    I still had feelings for him and almost couldn’t breathe, but hid it well. He wrote me some hours after that, I didn’t respond. 3 months later, he texts me and I don’t respond. 2 months after that we see each other since we have to work together and I sort of ignore him, but am polite, since I don’t want to hurt his feelings and upset the work balance. Still have feelings for him at this point, but since I decided that I wasn’t going to engage, I don’t. We do end up talking because I sense that he wants to and I think that it might be ok to do so. I just end up hearing that he himself has experienced the same thing (being in love and getting hurt) and that it hurts but that I’ll get over it. I literally didn’t say anything except offer a bit of work related info and was gearing up to tell him that I don’t understand why he keeps getting in touch, when he after saying his piece, leaves. (I had also heard through the rumor mill that he had been with a random girl the night before)

    After this episode I think, ok this is surely it, now we are finally done. But now, 2 months after that (and about a week ago) I get a message, with just a link to a video. I finally write him a letter explaining all of the things that I’ve wanted to say, but didn’t and tell him that I don’t understand why he messaged me after. I was very polite about it and specifically worded the letter without any meanness.
    I mean he clearly doesn’t want to be with me (his actions and words prove this) yet he keeps getting in touch. He just answers that he thought I’d like the video and sorry and bye.
    It should be said at this point that he was married for a long time and that he had been divorced for about 7 months before we got involved. He also told me that in order to really break it off, he kept cheating on his wife, so she would throw him out, but she kept taking him back and he stayed (!). This is a bit odd for me and is perhaps a Cap trait that I don’t quite get. Oh, and in the middle of our courtship, while things were still going well he once remarked that he’d like us to be friends, which I found odd, but I didn’t think about it much more.

    I’d really like to know what you think of the situation and how all of this sounds to you. I don’t even know if I am still interested in him, some of his behaviour has turned me off, but I wonder if he tried to reach out in order to be friends or if there was something more to it that I missed. Anyway, I don’t think he will be getting in touch any more, not after my letter, but it would be nice to get someone’s opinion on the events and you seem to be the Cap expert. :)
    Sorry if this is slightly too long, I do hope you have the patience to read it and respond.

    Yours, the utterly confused Piscean.

    • Dear Utterly Confused,

      Well, seeing that he is recently divorced sounds like the main reason for his fear of commitment. When any man tells you this, believe him. It’s a warning to proceed at your own risk. If he’s not ready, then there’s nothing anyone can do to change it, no matter how wonderful and amazing you are. :) Him not being ready for a relationship is understandable, he’s newly single and getting over his failed marriage, maybe he just wants to enjoy being alone again.

      Sometimes we need to take some steps back and analyze things, find out what happened and why so it won’t happen again. Caps are internal processors, sometimes we don’t say very much, it all happens within, it might be why we like our alone time so much.

      I must admit though, the cheating on his ex wife repeatedly (so she would leave him!) is incredibly strange to me. Why didn’t he just tell her that he was not happy? Well, that’s been done already, I’d definitely proceed with caution if you plan on seeing him again romantically. He’s told you he’s not ready and it might be awhile before he is.

      He may really and truly like you a lot but may also know it’s a bad idea to get into a new relationship right after a divorce. It’s better that he tells you now rather than later (when you are more deeply invested). From what you write, it sounds like he wants to stay in touch and remain as friends, I’m sure he doesn’t want to burn that bridge with you. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I do agree that it’s just easier for YOU to make a clean break. He may want to remain in contact with you but I think you need to put yourself first. Give yourself some time and get the distance you need. If you feel better about being friends later on down the line, then by all means do so!

      I hope this helps!

  45. Hello! Ok so I need some advice. I’ve been seeing this cappy guy for 3months now. We both really like each other he has said several times that he really likes me. We have hung out alot and have been intimate.

    In the first few months he was blowing me up initiating everything but now he has kinda slacked off became a little aloof and not really initiating contact like he was before. The last time we hung out he told me he didn’t know if it was a good idea if I stayed the night with him and the. He started acting all wishy washy I gathered my stuff and was ready to leave but he then looked at me puzzled and asked “are you leaving” I just feel like I’m getting mixed signals and can’t really figure him out.

    I haven’t heard from him in a few days. Should I wait to contact him? Any advice? I’m going crazy! Haha

    • Hello Apeaceful1,

      Let me get this straight. He basically told you he doesn’t think you should stay the night? I find this odd and it sounds like a big red flag to me. There could be other things that I don’t know about, but did he even explain to you why he feels like this? If you haven’t, I’d ask him why he feels that way. This is really important, something might be bothering him or something might have happened to upset him. I have no idea, you won’t know until you ask. Caps don’t normally come out and say what has distressed us, we just keep it to ourselves and hope someone will figure it out.

  46. hi there, i guess i have a bit of an uncommon story to tell, but an ordinary advise to ask:))). i’ve been in a romantic relationship with a cappy man for the last 5months. we had known each other briefly before for quite a while, i had though of him as the most handsome man i had met in a while, and he later told me he liked me from the beginning. however at that point, we both had our other personal lives. now, 5 months ago, i saw him alone (and yes, me was after a break up from a long-term relationship, too) we hung out for a few days, and he ended up asking my cell no. it was very special close up that we both came up to. then yes, he had called me after a few days, and we went for couple of dates. all very nice, i’d say from those dates i know how attentive and chasy he can be. back then he already offered me to stay in his apartment while he’s away (he goes on business trips around once a month) anyways, it was the time for me to tell him something special he needed to know if we wanted to continue. i had to tell him that i am pregnant from my previous boyfriend (complicated story, long-term, though im not interested in solving that oneJJ) it was scary for me, as my ex turned me away coz of this. and i was like in heaven when he got it so positively, and so supporting, even though it was not him who was the father!! moreover, he said he wants us to continue, he likes me, etc. so it was great! BTW, here i need to finally say that he’s 44 (im ten yrs younger), yes, he’s looking good:)) and has never been married before (don’t know much about his previous love life). ..well and now we are still here after those 5 months. he’s been there around, we’d be in routine communication via texts more or less each day, seeing each other one-two times a week (except when me or him out for the business trips). now that im in my last pregnancy month, and back to my hometown, that’s how we decided to be better for me, so to have my family around, i’d say im most worried.. i’ve done my best to share my life with him, to get him involved in my decision making concerning major things in my personal life, career thing, job, im happy how interested and happy he was to be there for me. i would be interested in his life too, though he would still be somewhat reserved and not showing much of downside of him, or getting into too much details. still there was quite a connection, regular one. NOW, when im away, i haven’t heard from him for the 3 days, even though I was the last one to contact him. maybe it doesn’t seem long, but it’s quite a break for me. specially that nothing has happened, no one got hurt or etc,, Nothing! so it makes me wonder…. and it would had happened couple of times before that he would go travelling, or smth and then i would just drop him another text of saying if he’s all right, and he’d eventually appear back, saying sorry for being offline and explaining why. NOW, i dont feel like doing it again. im the one who’s pregnant and need attention and need reassurance,, and so it bothers me like crazy Why, What??..When is he gonna appear? what if he’s not?!! what if he made up his mind, or what if there’s someone else popped out?… drives me nuts. I’m Leo by the way (but patient one:) Also , there’s been one issue that has always bugged me with him too, it’s our intimate life – he wouldnt avoid spending nights with me, but it happened only once that we made love or this sort of thing, only once in 5 months! –everyone keeps telling me that he might be cautious coz of my pregnancy,, though i only keep giving him signs that i’ve been constantly wanting him (and that’s indeed true:)! so, my question, – what’s on his mind? …we never talked about the future though.. thank you:)

    • Hi Zeglee,

      I’m sooo sorry for the very late response on this one. I hope that things have smoothed out for you but if not, here’s what I think: Capricorns need their space, it’s possible he’s just doing what he normally does by being absent for those three days. If it’s any longer than that and if this continues to concern you then have a talk with him.

      Let him know you’d like to hear more from him and a gentle and loving way. As a Capricorn myself, I’ve faced this situation, too. Him being absent doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong or he doesn’t care. From what you’ve told me, it seems that he’s stood by you during your pregnancy. Yes, it’s a slight complication, but if he loves you and feels that you’re the one for him, that won’t matter.

      That said, the lack of intercourse in 5 months is what concerns me. This is definitely something you should talk about with him, if you haven’t already. He might be overly cautious or maybe this indicates a larger problem. You won’t know until you talk to him. I hope this helps, let me know what happens!

  47. I met a cap guy in the summer. Immediately we were attracted to each other. We communicated often by phone and text mainly. We equally initiated contact. Now he’s in his late 40s and I’m in my mid 30s but we connected. We spoke about our individual dreams and aspirations. He expressed to me that he was seekng a long term relationship to which I said I was seeking the same. We decided that we would meet, unfortunately i cancelled a few of dates and so did he but we kept conversing. Me being a Taurus and one who appreciates straightforwardness said…if when you see me you don’t like me feel free to tell me as no offence will be taken. By this time though i had started to like him. Of course we never met and he became distant and communication stopped. He contacted 2 months later wanting to find out how I was doing and if I was seeing anyone. I wasn’t and we reconnected. Whilst speaking via tele he said why don’t we try FWB. Me being very traditional was skeptical but decided to try it. We met and yes we did have sex which was out of this world. During sex he told me he loved me and prior to us meeting he said he doesn’t know why he’s so attracted to me, the feeling is so strong and that it was a bit weird. After our first meeting I messaged him letting him know that I enjoyed every moment. He started to become a bit distant but still there and we would still talk. I however, started to catch feelings and decided that a FWB would not be best as it would just complicate the situation. I expressed this to him and him that my feelings are getting too strong. He said he understood but now even more distant. Seeing what was happening I then asked a few weeks later if he wanted me to leave him alone to which is rely was “just take it easy.” I then said okay good night and he came back saying sleep well my dear. I’ve yet to contact him since. What is this hot/cold, push/pull emotional game about? I think I should leave him alone and allow him to come to me if that’s what he wants. Is this the best approach i.e. just disappear or do I still contact him once in a while?

    • Hi Martha!

      For some reason there are a few comments on here I never received (and yours was one of them), so I’m very sorry for the late response on this! :( Well.. to start off, you agreed to a FWB relationship with him. In my opinion, these setups are hard because eventually a woman DOES catch feelings and ends up wanting more. It’s good you told him that you didn’t want that anymore. Sometimes, you have to put your foot down. If you have standards and are traditional then don’t lower them. Expect the best from this man and if he really cares for you, he will step up to the plate and meet you full throttle.

      For now, just hang back and let him come to you, let him initiate. This is how you can tell he’s truly interested and invested.

  48. I think the problem between us might be the distance coz I will back to graduate school in other state, and he will stay.. But he still ask me to come back all the time.. which is nice I think… I hate facing situation like this since I feel we got pretty strong feeling for each other.. Should I give up or try to be friend at the first? Should I tell him that lets just be friends or just let it open-ending? Thank you!!!

  49. I’m at the beginning of phase with a cap man who is so funny and shy when we met. And he bought me a dinner, smiling every time when we talked and held my hands when I needed. And then he start to get busy. But he text ed me all the way. I haven’t seen him for a week coz he took a business trip to NYC. After he came back, he text ed me and being very nice like a gentlemen to every text that I sent to him. The only bother me now is I am not sure whether he just wanna be my friend or something else. I am waiting for him to ask me out so that we can know each other more, but until now we are still text each other…But I am always the one to imitate… I am

    His text is very brief text back~ but in person he is funny sweet, attentive, and remembers things about me and kind of bossy sometimes. But I like he is being different from other guy I knew. but the pace of moving is so hard to control, He is always text me asap and being very nice~ but I want to see him in person instead of those words~~~ he really drive scorpio girl nuts here!!!

    I read some other questions about capricorn man, they suggested we don’t text first, and wait until he feel interested. Truth is that he loves his work more than any thing… As a scorpio myself, I can be cool and let it be and im pretty sure he can do that as well. Therefore, how can I know him more before I realize whether he is the one or not??????

    • Hi Jo Jo,

      I want to apologize for the huge delay in my response due to an email mix-up! Anyway, my very late response to you would be to take it easy and to keep busy with school and friends. Work is really important to Caps, it’s the only thing that can provide security and stability for us and our families so try not to take it too hard that he’s engrossed in work.

      The situation is difficult because it’s a long distance relationship and those are always tough, but they are not impossible. He may realize this which could be the reason for his hesitation. In the meantime, you can still remain friends while you are away. Keep those lines of communication open and definitely provide him the encouragement to ask you out again when he calls you. Yes, Cap males need encouragement, too! Whenever you come back into town, I’d suggest that you let him know you plan on being in town and you’d love check out this ___ restaurant you’ve heard about.

      Also, take a step back here and let him do some of the initiating. If you’ve just contacted him recently then I’d definitely wait for him to contact you NEXT. If he likes you and wants to continue seeing you again, he will make an effort to call and reach out.

  50. thanks Coolboots, that’s very reassuring. i had dinner with a friend tonight and she said he is definitely backing away slowly and just doesn’t want to be a jerk. of course this really bummed me out. i think she’s a scorpio, haha! i have decided to answer him and keep it light and friendly, no talk about when we see each other again, etc. if i never hear from him again, i’ll have my answer, right? kind of agonizing. but thank you, your advice really helps:)

  51. Hi Dannielle,

    It sounds like he really likes you and is putting forth the effort. Everything you’ve written sounds positive to me. If he didn’t want to talk to you, he’d basically just disappear and or phase you out. It doesn’t sound like that to me.

    I don’t think you need to talk about the rushed intimacy again, because you’ve already told him you don’t usually do that. Anything else is just repetitive, believe me, he knows already. I think what’s happening is you’re feeling thrown off because of it.

    Yes, things can get awkward “the day after,” but don’t let this derail you and cause insecurity. If anything, that will cause you to overcompensate and rush things forward when things just need to play themselves out slowly and naturally.

    If I were you I would carry on as normal, be yourself. For one, he likes you and is initiating contact with you. Sure, he’s not going deep into his feelings or emotions and it’s all superficial stuff right now but with time he WILL open up more. Gain his trust, listen to him and ask him questions.

    Just be calm and cool. Be the same person you were when you met him, it’s why he’s still talking to you. :)

    As far as the intimacy goes, I think you know the answer to that. I’d let HIM lead you. It’s possible that he just wants to slow things down and really get to know you better first.

    Don’t rush anything forward that you are not ready for and don’t force it. When it feels right, it feels completely right.

  52. This is an interesting site:) I’m a cap woman and recently met a cap man. I thought he was pretty dreamy and on our first date he invited me to go to a wedding with him! But I wasn’t able to go.. He spends about half his time upstate in the country with no reception so we started emailing. Almost immediately I was too forthcoming with my excitement about him, I think. My emails were personal and his were more subdued. He knew i was taking a day trip closer to where he is and he invited me to have dinner with him. This still required me to drive an hour out of my way, but I spontaneously agreed, it was exciting! i had a good time, but I’m a cap too, so when things got a little physical I got kind of nervous. Then he said he was coming back into town the next weekend and implied it was to see me. I cleared my schedule to hang out with him. But he never made it clear when he was coming and it stressed me out. Still, he called me when he was an hour away, and we made a plan to have dinner. We did, and I still felt nervous, because he is aloof. Then we slept together, which was good, but I was worried it was too soon. Next morning, I feel shy. we have breakfast, and I feel this distance. But still, he kept making plans with me. We went to the movies, i invited him in and he declined, then texted it was nice to see me. I called him to check in about sleeping together so soon, i don’t usually do that sort of thing, etc., this all seemed fine. he was open to talking about it, said he didn’t usually do that either. But that he was open to becoming emotionally intimate too. We hung out a couple of times that week. I was feeling insecure because even though he was showing up he wasn’t opening up. He was aloof, a man unto himself. He spent one more night at my place and I think I made the mistake of initiating sex to feel closer, jeez. this time he wasn’t cuddly after sex at all, and the next morning I felt sooo awkward. Didn’t know how to be in that situation. And didn’t want to get too heavy by talking about it, AGAIN. He left town and I waited. Five days later, he emailed me this morning. His email is cordial, telling me what he’s up to, talking about the weather. I can’t tell if he’s just trying not to be a jerk or if he’s still interested. It still seems too new to get all heavy and talk about where we’re at, but if he’s just backing away slowly I don’t want to engage with that. If he thinks I’m a floozy I want him to know I’m not that casual about these things, and this is true. I usually put off having sex, but I really like him! I’m afraid it’s too late, though. I haven’t answered him yet. Do I play it cool? What do you think?

  53. Hi Jane!
    First, take it slow. Remember that you’ve only known him for about a week, I think it’s too soon to get so attached to him. It’s possible that he’s not looking for anything serious with you but I could be wrong.
    Capricorn men can take a very long time to form an attachment. You need to slow all of this down and keep going out with your friends and have some fun. If he’s not making an effort to call you or ask you out then it’s likely that he’s not interested.
    You’ll find out by stepping back from the situation and giving him some time to process. If he’s interested he will make more of an effort.

    If he does follow up, this is only IF he does, encourage him a little and let him know you had a fun time with him on your last meeting. There’s nothing wrong with letting him know this. Some caps can be really insecure and they need encouragement.

  54. I’m so happy to have come across this site! It enlightened me. About a week ago I met this cappy guy online and we met a day later. We clicked off really well and we had a kissing session. The session lasted about 10 mins. Nothing much just some light kissing. It was my first kiss. Later that day he message me like how he does from the day we swope numbers. It is always him would is initiating the chat and sometimes I feel bad too. He wasn’t very sugary with his words but he said he quite like me. He said he wanted to show affection in a private setting which I agree but I told him my concern was that I wouldn’t tolerate roaches and I will be turned off. He persuaded me but I was quite firm as I REALLY hate roaches. After that day , which was the day after we kissed , he totally ignored me. No texts , calls or whatsoever. Just stop. I’m really afraid if his angry because I’m not up to his standards or that I am scare of roaches. I then went to check the online site and he posted a new post saying that he is looking for that perfect one for him. It broke my heart upon seeing that post. He just ignored me cause of I don’t know what reasons and then he’s back on the dating site finding other people. A short period of a few hours made me extremely anxious and I texted him. He text back but seem very cold and distant. His tone was as if he wasn’t interested in me anymore. Although I didn’t tell him anything sensitive. ( all I did was talk about recent events and some scientific stuff) I’m really very tired leading the conversation. He just gives one word replies. Deep down my heart I know I loved him so much after we kissed. In living in agony for real. I can concentrate on my work and it’s definitely affecting my life big time. I intiate texts for the next two days after he ignored me. This is the fourth day since he’s ignoring me. The third day since he ignored me , which is yesterday , I never text him. Today , as the fourth day I also didn’t text him. I’m too tired to lead the conversation everytime and I think he needs some space. But I’m highly doubtul of the fact that he needs some space to reflect and think because he is “actively” finding an potential other in the dating site. I really really don’t want to lose him and I’m living I agony now. I miss him. I miss the texts he used to send me. What should I do? Can someone please please help me…? Thank you , really.

  55. Hi! So glad I found this site! My Cappy guy and I have been dating for a little over a month. Everything started out beautifully…he showed me what it meant to be “courted” as opposed to just “dating”. Anyway, he had started to become a little distant. We had a heart to heart, and I told him that it seems that sometimes he really likes me, and other times not so much! He really got offended by this statement. I didn’t even think before I said it, surely didn’t think he would get so “upset”. I realized it had hurt his feelings when he brought it up later on our date. He then told me that we needed some time apart, and I haven’t heard from him since (that was 4 days ago).

    I made the mistake of calling and texting. I’m a Leo, and kinda got upset, because how dare him just disappear?! I decided today that I will NO LONGER attempt to contact him. It would be nice for him to let me know if he has moved on or whatever.

    Just wanted some of your thoughts on this… Thanks!

    • KC,
      First off, you were just being real with him and sharing how you felt. If anything, I think it might have just caught him off guard because he probably thought he was doing a great job in courting you. In general, Caps are very slow to warm up emotionally and the men seem to take longer than female caps. They can be cold and distant at first but as time moves on they will warm up and it will be worth the wait.

      In his defense, he did tell you that you needed some time apart, so it’s not like he’s completely ignored you. This is key. If he was that upset, he would have might have just stopped calling.

      I think he may come around, I would just give him some time. I think Cap men like to pout and stew awhile but when they really care and are invested, they’ll come around.

      You said you called and texted him, I wouldn’t do that anymore. The ball is now in his court and if he’s really interested he will continue to pursue you and get over this little bump.

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